"Mittens" came to us in March. Rebekah had been asking for a cat for months. As her birthday approached, it was all she asked for. "I need a cat," she'd say. Burke and I are not cat people. They stink. They are hairy. They make my eyes burn and my nose itch endlessly. But I knew in my heart there was probably an amicable way for our family to make a home for a cat--especially since we had a little girl who was coming to tears over her state of cat destitution at least once a week. Allergies dictated that we'd have to own a mostly outdoor cat-- only brought indoors during extreme (and I mean extreme) weather. But we started looking. I scoured craigslist. I called shelters. We went to a shelter and tried to find just the right cat. We didn't. There were more tears. "What if no cat decides to like me?" my blue eyed newly minted 7 year old asked me again and again. I assured her that Heavenly Father had just the right cat in mind for us, we just had to ask Him to help us find him/her. Shortly after that a desperate post popped up on Craigslist. "Help! I am moving and can't take this sweet Kitty with me. She needs a loving home." I inquired immediately. I told the owner I was looking for a cat that would be outdoors 99.9% of the time. The owner didn't blink. I think she was just so happy someone was thinking about taking her cat. The cat had been mostly indoors, but went in the back yard sometimes and seemed to like it. So we decided to give it a whirl. I kept her inside and took her out for short periods of time the first day. She was wary of her new surroundings, but seemed to catch on quickly that we were her people. And she loved Rebekah!
I had told Rebekah before we started looking that there would be no kittens. I just didn't want to deal with the hassle. So the plan was 1) get a cat, 2) get the cat fixed, and 3) live happily ever after!! So imagine my surprise when not two full days after we adopted Mittens, I took her to get her spayed and caught up on shots when we discovered that she was already pregnant. I was in shock! This was NOT part of the plan. The vet explained the procedure, how she would need a greater dose of pain killers and her incision would be larger that initially expected. The charge would be increased but not by much. Her recovery would take a bit longer, but it was a procedure that he did at least a few times a week and the cat would be "fine". He wasn't asking me if I wanted to proceed, he was telling me what was to be done. I was there to get the cat spayed. I clearly didn't want kittens. So the only thing left for me to do was say, "OK".
I was in a stupor. I did not want kittens. It was fully 10 seconds that I sat in silence after he finished explaining things to me. I was so tempted to say "OK". I didn't need to tell anyone. I could just pretend I didn't totally understand what he meant. I was in the beginning stages of recovery from a severe and somewhat unexpected lupus flare. Kittens were not something I was physically or emotionally prepared to deal with. I could think of many reasons to say "OK". But this picture came to my mind:
And I realized that what I was about to say "OK" to, was not something I would ever, ever want to tell this little person. How could I look her in the eye? How could I teach her the sacredness and sanctity of life if I so casually cast it aside when it wasn't working for me? My decision was firmly made. I looked at the vet and asked him the details of cat gestation, and how long I would need to wait to come back for the spaying procedure after she had delivered. He answered my questions, helped me reload the cat into the carrier and sent me on my way. I am sure he thought I was crazy.
Satan is subtle. I am staunchly pro life. I can't imagine that I would ever consider having an abortion or recommending someone I love to have one. I believe in God with all of my heart. I respect and honor Him. I love His commandments. He is the giver of life. Yet, I very nearly justified killing unborn kittens--because they were not part of my plan. And, in my mind, it was super inconvenient. When I told Rebekah after school that day, she was, of course, elated! She kept saying, "Mom, this is great news!" Then her face fell. I had carefully avoided telling her that the vet had been willing to perform the procedure regardless of the pregnancy; it just wasn't something I wanted to discuss with my sweet, innocent girl. I don't know how she knew-- but she knew. She said, "Mom, I am so glad you didn't let the Vet kill the kittens. Because we should never kill." As I reflected on this I realized again what I liar Satan is. I had thought for a moment that no one would know what decision I made in the clinic. But the one person on earth I most dreaded facing with that reality already knew the choice I'd had to make. In her seven year old splendor she could not be deceived. She knew. And I was so grateful then and every moment since that I had made a decision that I could be proud of and truthful in.
The kittens were born a month later. 6 tiny precious fluffy fur balls. And now they have all found loving homes. It wasn't nearly as inconvenient as I imagined it would be. Yes, there were some things about it that weren't that fun. And it created some extra stress. But mostly, overwhelmingly, it brought love to our home in a way that only babies can.
