Undomestic Goddess

 It was Over, my life that I had grown so used to. The staying at home while he went to parties, quinces, weddings or just get together a, I waited..like the good wife should I waited and waited 24 years. 

I had been feeling it for a while , years to be exact. A feeling I could not explain a pressure ,a weight on my chest when he would come around me. I asked him about the feelings I was having and per usual he said " Oh my god Tori Are you fukcing crazy" this was generally his response when asked what was going on with him and us. 

A few years back he went thru a really dark and quiet time that he would not talk to me about. He began staying totally away from me like huggin the edge of the bed to not dare touch kinda avoidance. I asked the question he needed me to ask and his response was we needed to separate , he wasn't in love with me. 

At that moment we died, he killed me in a place I never knew could hurt - my fuckin soul. I was crushed, thrown in a rusty blender and left to sit with those words kinda way. The boy wasnt home and I went to our bed and cried and cried and cried - until I felt numb.  The weird thing was he refused to leave, how do you tell someone you want to seperate and then not want to leave?? Call me weird but…I would think he’d have a bag pre packed with the way he responded. Fast foward a few weeks and he was sure he had a moment of insanity saying those words to me and had loved me always and never wanted to leave -he just said what he said without thinking. This was 2018, charlie was months away from leaving for bootcamp and he had annihilated me with his careless words. 

Now I sit here in 2022 and Im not in the same place I was. Texas, is home for now. Fort Worth to be exact. The boy enlisted into the Navy in 2018, he loves it but wants to change his job- but has learned so much in his dept. He knows electrical, plumbing and learning HVAC. He met and married the love of his life and they are so perfectly perfect together. They will be relocating to California this week. 

My husband is still in Arizona, living with her the one who he wanted to be with, the one who made him start to retreat 5 years ago. All the years of " Are you fucking Crazy Tori's"

faster than ever time has blown by me and I cannot begin to believe that more than 3 months has already passed since I blogged last!

UPDATES !!

Still chugging along at my job, already got a healthy raise and will be sitting in the "property manager " seat in a few weeks.

Should be heading to Florida next week to complete my final push on the whole management thing and I am excited but super nervous at the same time.

My men are well the boy starts school MONDAY!!!! This summer FLEW by soooooooo freakin fast, I can't believe he is starting 4th grade this year!

I 've managed to drop a few pounds since starting my job 27 to be more precise ( always a welcome bonus) and it feels soo much better to not struggle with my clothes and worry if I will be rolling out of my pants ( muffin top).

I wonder how all my fellow blog peeps are doing ... if any are still checking in feel free to drop a lady a line , would love to hear from ya!

For now I should go back into my cleaning mode since I have a second to get a few things done.

hopefully I won't wait so long in between blog next time

I had no idea it had been a month since I posted last... wow time flew right by and didn't even slap my ass.

I have been a busy girl , I GOT A JOB well 2 really, but, then I went a quit the 1 and now just have 1. So I have been working like really working, the first job a had was over 6 weeks ago I worked very few hours in a laundry doing basic laundry stuff , I liked the job but the owner was a TOTAL DOUCHE BAG.

Then while I was working at the laundry I went and got another job, yep another one..I still work there and its at an extended Stay Hotel and I have to admit I love it. It has been keepin me busy and for a week or so my hub and I had a bit of a role reversal going on , he was home without work and stayed home cleaning and all that good stuff (that really i don't do when I am home) and I was very pleased with the whole thing. At some point during the week I even began calling him my "house bitch", it was awesome.

Well now we are in the normal swing of things and it seems really strange to get up , set the boy ready for school , then once he leaves get myself ready for work , work all day, then come home get the boy from his friends house, make dinner and go to bed. The days have been zooming in and out so much so that I cannot believe we are almost out of April and summer vacation will soon be starting. Geez.

Anyways I hope everyone who may read my page is well and I hope I can make it back once in a while to update .

Got a starter bag a few days ago , watched it , mushed it and now I'm gonna bake it!

Sad

Knowing I have no one to give the new starts too.

but I am getting hooked on American Idol!

SHIT
SHIT
SHIT

I find myself watching the clock every night it's on, I'm actually ready to vote and I swore I would never do this.

Just hope my fingers don't fail me now.

A few minutes ago I heard a knock at the door.....
the boy ran to see who it was and it was Cougar*. I was told about Cougar a few days ago, the boy went on and on about how cougar requested a set change on the bus, read magazines on the bus with him and so on.

Yesterday I was told to purchase a gift for Cougar, seeing as how the whole v-day is quickly approaching. I refused and explained I was not going to purchase a v-day gift for Cougar, the boy would simply give Cougar a card and be done.

Back to the knock on the door, it was Cougar and Kicker*, they have come to see if the boy can come out.I am very protective of my boy and prefer he not play out front as we live near a busyish road. Needless to say he is out side now playing and having a blast.

Would you like to know who Cougar and Kicker are?????

12 year old girls! my son is 8 and 12 year old girls are clawing for his attention, Kicker actually said to me this morning " did you know boy has a girlfriend ? and she's in the 5th grade? and 12?" yummmm yes, no and no!!!

I going to have a heart attack

* names changed since I thought they were much more fitting

P.S kicker loves to kick my son!

Have you ever…(?)

-co-opted toilet paper from a public washroom as a temporary measure

-planned a vacation around your period

-avoided white pants for that one 'special' week of the month

-done a supplies hand-off with a girlfriend while the dates weren't looking

-cautiously tucked the telltale string into your bikini

-accidentally pulled a mystery object from your purse in front of a curious male audience

-scuttled to the washroom to survey the leak damage after a sudden 'surge'

-clogged your toilet with "flushable" feminine products

-left a party with a jacket tied around your waist...?


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Now, are you wondering what I pasted up there?

Its the newest REVOLUTION IN PERIODS... The Diva.Cup

When I was chatting online with a friend earlier , she asked me "have you ever heard of the Diva.Cup?" of course I hadn't but clicked over to search this new item of interest and was DISGUSTED!!

To be blunt...its a 12 hour blood collection cup for your "special week". It is held in place by your vagina muscles and can be worn up to 12 hours.You can remove it , dump it out , rinse it off and reuse it.

I know I am not regularly riding the crimson wave , but nevertheless , this is gross and even if I had a regular week, I would not be using this product.

Man, I hope they contact me to review it!!