.Chriserena.

Friday, May 8, 2009

Warning, this entry will be full of cursing and swearing to a fake ~~animal lover~~ GAY who lived just 2 block away from my block, Eww.

To cut the story short, while i was playing chasing with Babyy, there's a guy( let's call her a guy now)with a terrier being loosen, running around playing infront of us 1-2m.So Babyy noticed that dog, frozed.I was behind her all along.Dunno for what, that stupid dog came sniffing Babyy as for your information, cat when feeling threatened, they will hissed at that paritcular thing.So as that dog approached, Babyy hissed and off the cat/dog fight begin.I was in shock, that owner, came rescue his dog while that sissy dog plead with that "enn enn" sound trying to climb up to his owner.

I thought everything was over and was going toward Babyy, but to my terror, that GAY, kicked Babyy serveral times while holding on his dumb dog.Not only that, he even used his slipper, THREW THAT FUCKING SLIPPER ON BABYY!!!That very scene had already fumed me up so much that i shouted" HEY STOP THAT ALREADY OK, YOU'RE NOT EVEN AN ANIMAL LOVER!!!SO WHAT YOUR DOG IS ANIMAL, MINE'S NOT!!!??To that, i ran toward him, gave "him" a great push and he turned over and shouted" DON'T YOU TOUCH ME OK BITCH, I LIKE TO BEAT THAT CAT SO WHAT? SHE ATTACKED MY DOG OK!!!.And that i screamed out" YOU'RE NOT EVEN A ANIMAL LOVER, DO THAT AGAIN I'LL CALL THE POLICE!He followed with"CALL LA,CALL,LAYOU DON'T THINK YOU'RE A FEMALE I DON'T DARE BEAT YOU OK!!!BITCH!!When i heard that forbidden word, my fire went up to boiling and i shouted, YOU BEAT LA, I SCARED YOU AH! YOU DARE BEAT I SUE YOU!YOU SAID CALL LA RIGHT, OK I CALLED!He shouted"OK YOU CALLED!"I took out my phone and dial 999 but not pressing the call icon, just then a auntie with her maid and dog came to me and said, don't quarrel le, don let him beat you, I screamed,while that sissy was walking ahead"COME BEAT ME LA, YOU DARE BEAT, I SUE YOU MOLEST, SEE WHO WIN! NOT EVEN A GENTLEMAN, WANT TO EVEN BEAT GIRL, WEAR SKIRT LA, FAKE ANIMAL LOVER!!!After saying all these, that GAY walked even faster and gone in a turn.

Normally i won't get so fummed up given my already bad temper.I can actually surpressed it until i can't anymore then i'll blow.But this time, i really had to gave that GAY some scolding.Should had even video his sinful doing and report to the SPCA!!What made me even angry was that because Babyy was already pregnant with kittens and THAT FUCKING GAY STILL KICKED HER ON HER STOMACH!!!Luckily Babyy was not injured but i'm not too sure for the latter.FUCK GAY.

-8:29 AM

Thursday, May 7, 2009

My mind in a lost now, what should i do? I find my life super meaningless now.

My intention was to study at september.Trying to save money yet with a mere 3 digit salary, how to?Intially, i thought, every month a $200 will do.But whenever i got hold of my salary, tried doing a calculation, all i will be left is my transport/food money.I don't even have any leftover for entertainment nor some pampering for myself.Due to this, i rejected my ex-co birthday celebration, which i am very guilty about it, luckily for her, my Xuan clearly understand me and she agree for just having a small gathering this Sunday, thanks so much Da-jie.She's truely a Da-jie who had been taking care of me when i'm still in Tenchi.

Because of this, i gave up the top which i had wanted so badly till i went to try it everytime i am in that shop.If its the younger me, i had already purchased it without even hasitating.After that great incident happened on me, i finally knew the importance of money.I always think when buying something, even for food.Pathetic i know.I am that pathetic now.Laugh for those who want.

My body is getting weaker, i can't ton through the night, can't even stay awake while working.I dozed off while doing services, i yawned countlessly everyday.I can't be that weak right?

I wanted to cry out loud but i had to be strong.Even i'm poor, being looked down on, being stepped on, being ditched away, whatever it is, i am Zi jun, thou tissue is very weak, but this tissue will not being tore so easily.

At the very least, i still have people who truely cares.

-7:54 AM

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

This entry was wrote to release my feelings being surpressed inside me in the first place.I had alot to write actually.When i came to this page, everything i wanted to express, gone in second.My mind's a blank, my fingers frozed, and all i did was to stare blankly into the space.

I was unhappy with work, unhappy with how i'm being treated, unhappy with what i am now.I want to go back to study, to upgrade myself again and this time with no slacking again.Deep inside, i knew i am never gonna be good in studies, but i want to give myself a chance yet again.Not into serious lecturing or exams, but to build up my skills and something which i can be proud of, vice verus, my parents too.Up to this age, i had finally want to achieve something so badly to prove myself.Though i always remind myself countlessly, don't mind what they said, just do your job to your best and that's it.But real fact, i am actually very bothered with those comments.

Thoughout my life, i've actually achieved many that most people cant,

I learnt swimming with the help of my mummy's support, achieved a silver cert.
I managed to get a bronze for running in my primary school days.One that i'm not good at.
I learnt drawing animes with my cousin and a primary school crush (Jing Yan)'s help.
I get to know art and designing and did pretty well actually.With Jia Ling and Teachers' help.
I joined NCC(sea) with the help's of Joyce and learnt even more seasports which not many had tried.2nd star for kayaking, 1 star for sailing and many more.
After getting to know about blogspot from Wendy, i tried learning to edit, customize HTML codes and made a current website for my workplace.Very proud of it.
Learnt beauty skills from my aunt and her partner.

Perhaps for some, they would thought, chey! website so easy to make, art draw or copy then edit can le ma, seasports go learn la, cert go earn la, eg.

To me, it's already a very good achievements i had.After working there, i actually found out that, many things i knew besides their skills, they actually knew nothing for HTML, basic advertising, some designing skills, they knew far nothing.To me, i'm very happy about this myself.At least i didn't live for nothing, though nothing great achievement so far, but at least i learned more than people, more than anyone now.Be it life experiences, great barriers to overcome, blah blah blah.At least, i knew more.

But,

Deep down, i wanted to achieve more.

-11:10 AM

Monday, April 27, 2009

Wow, i haven't been updating my blog for quite some time.Had been very busy with some very personal stuffs and i'm glad it's all over for real, for once.Very appreciated with all those who tried their best to help me, specially my family.They always been so supportive with i've chosen.

As for the much personal stuffs i wont eleborate much here.It's been hell for me and it's like finally i saw rainbow in my life, knowing who will always been with me at my lowest point of life, wouldn't betrayed me even a darkest secret i'll shared with.I'm so glad they're with me all along.

On a different note, i had been thinking on getting a liensced UK approved certifcate(CIBTEC) that will proved on my beauty skills and something to confirm my future career.I've seeked many close kins and friends on their opinions and mostly gave a green light to it.My parents were 100% full support of my decision.

But on the working side, they're not giving a very supportive answer to me, one said perhaps the cert is a buy-in cert, the other said it's certainly not compulsory to get a cert to confirm your skills in beauty career.I totally do not believe that.What is singapore?Singapore need certs to give you like eg. better job, better pay, better position, better commission and so on.With cert, noone will not assure on your skills.Though yes, even with a cert, experience is the secondary compulsory, yet, i still do strongly believe, you need certs to survive in this harsh industry.Many girls will look down on you w/o a cert and w/o experiences, bosses will not be assured on you, climbing up asap is totally like impossible, you will be still doing dirty jobs after 3 years.I haven't been processing at all, all i did was, cleaning and doing dirty jobs like there's no tml, giving out flyers though i kinda like it now as i DON'T have to face them for like 2 hours?Other than that, FULL-STOP.

I should already knew that they want to tie me down so that i couldn't get a cert and so that i would be always be a step behind them.I won't be listening to any negative suggestions anymore, nothing would stop me from getting that cert you both are also holding on.3 years after this cert, i would be getting a degree cert and so i would be a step ahead you both!

I won't let them look down on me.

----------------

Just a very cute cat which Xing named her as Babyy.

On my lowest point of life, that very midnight, this cat came out from nowhere when i was crying at the void deck, comforted me with her cutest purr i've heard.Since then, she had been my closest companion i would rely on.She's like a angel sent by Upper to comfort me.Even since then, whenever i went to work/ finish my work, she would be waiting for me at the void deck welcoming me.Friends who know me well, knew that cat is my great fetish.Too bad my parent opposed, if not she will be inside my house now.But i am not worried leaving her at the void deck, she will be there no matter when.

-7:24 AM

Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Current mood: sick(still!)/confused

This is the 3rd week already and i am (still) sick.Flu and cough had been clinging on me refusing to shake off.This is my 3rd month working there.When will be the day that when i saw my pay, i will be delighted and contented?

Being a trainee isn't that easy.You got ordered like a dog, running errands like a dog, buying their food like it's a must.

I hate it.I detest it.I don't like it.Seriously hate being used up like that.

If to use a nice name, they called you "girl".But it's more like maid.I'm like being tricked into your so-called company, saying that to train me as a qualified beautican but in actual fact, i'm called up to do almost everything FOR you.Yes Everything.I don't mind buying food for you, actually i DO mind, but heck it.I just being nice here.But i don't think i HAD to buy food for your boyfriend actually.Who is he actually? My boss?Nah, not even one.

I felt like quitting.But i don't at the same time.Fcuked up mind now.

-9:53 AM

Friday, March 20, 2009

I have to take back all stuffs that i've typed on at the previous previous entry.Anger gushed off the better side of me that day.Yes i did cried that day, even while working, i guess its past.I don't like to hold on grudge.Made me older faster actually, i only want to vent all in a go and forget, actually i forgotten.Haa.Work was a breeze today, but flu virus spread rapidly faster than i thought, it's my 3rd time caughting it i guess.I meant, from recovering it and caught it, recovering it and then caught it again, asked everyone to wear a mask these day even when no customer.Haha, Chloe is the main virus spreader.LOL.Alright, finally 3 months probation ended and i'll be having a payrise!! make it 2.5k ok, OK, OK!!! I must be dreaming.

-9:24 PM

Too busy and too tired to blog the whole chunk of stuffs i did within this month right now,

Laziness got the better of me.

This month is a hectic month for me. I work like A** everyday, and finally gotten some pleasing results. Did 2 full procedure of facial service today (like finally)!! I've never felt so happy and contented before.Those hard work paid off.Great effort i put in.It was just only a week before that i couldn't even went down to clean a customer face, phobia struck me and i could'nt do anything.Was very depressed and disappointed by myself.I decided to do some hands-on on myself every night while removing my make up. Just only today, i managed to did everything basic on a customer, cleanse, scrub, diamond peel, cleanse, IPL, cleanse, RF, massage, cleanse, mask, toner and lastly moisturzer. Though it's like everyday thing you did, besides the intensive treatment using machine, it's really not easy to master it. Customer's skin is the first priorty! I'm gald i didn't shook while doing the service. A very remarkable experience i first had.

Bad stuffs aside, at least i learnt something which not everyone can learn while working(for your information, you had to have a liencse as a beautican before you can actually earn money using your skills.I am really forunate to be trainee cum beautican.

This path will definately be a very tough path to walk through, but i will endure till the end.
My hard work will paid off.Sweet fruits will bear eventually. ;)

Happy belated x10 birthday CHEK HAN!!!!

picture i will upload once i am recover from this terrible virus that is spreadly rapidly these days.

-6:54 AM