1. Lizards. ugh!!!




2. ORANG MINYAK. oily man- an old Malay myth




3. The hand in the toilet bowl




4. The soldiers that come to steal young children when they are at home alone (don't even ask)




5. When my mum picked up the phone to complain to my dad but our misbehavior




6. STEAMED FISH!




7. Climbing up the stairs early in the morning or at night.




8. Escalators




9. Falling




10. Failing

I'll only recap on 3 and note points for improvement

2. ORANG MINYAK. Just the sound of it sends chills down my spine already. Though I can vaguely remember the story, it still creeps me out till today.

It is actually a Malay film back in the 70s I think(yes Black & White), and it depicts a man covered with oil (hence the title) who goes round in the night raping girls I think. It was in Malay entirely, so half the time I was reading the subtitle to follow up, but there was one scene where I was trying to really understand the subtitle and didn't look up (pity my beady 8yr old eyes). Ad when I looked up to watch the show, GOTT SEI DANK! It was the oily man alright! Like his first appearance.

IT WAS HIDEOUS! I could not sleep for the five nights that followed, and what's worse is that I have a pretty tanned brother. So when he walked into my room one night, I yelled my lungs outta my throat!

6. STEAMED FISH. I had a phobia for steamed fish. I'm not sure if I would like the taste now, but I'm not even sure if I dare to try it for that matter.

Here it goes. Most of my fears have in one way or another been related to my brother. He's 2 years my senior, and was/is quite a menace to me.

This incident happened at home. My mom had cooked us lunch, some dishes, vegetables, and STEAMED FISH. It was perhaps the 'main dish' so everyone in my family had a fair share of it. It looked quite appetizing though it smelled funky with all the herbs. MY mom is a pretty good cook, so i trusted her cooking and popped a small piece into my mouth.

WHOOPSIE DAISY! There was so much herbs in there it could have cured a lifeless person!

So i gulped down lotsa water and pushed it aside quietly and continued eating my food. So here comes my brother and tells my Dad, "Dinah's not eating her food again!''

So my dad tells me to eat it otherwise he'll feed me. Yes, he fed me and it tasted worse than before! I was already tearing.

Then he forces me to open my mouth once more for another portion. It was too overwhelming, I ran to the kitchen to spit it out and weeping, I told my dad that I really couldn't. MY dear brother instigated him again and I wasn't gonna give in. One more mouthful and I really wouldn't mind not eating for 30 days!!!!

I didn't expect my dad to push it too far so I refused once more. This time he had stood up, and I think I remember shaking in the knees. Still, Achilles never gave up in battle! I was already crying by then hoping that my mom would save me. But no! I was fighting this war alone.

He walked towards me, I was clueless as to what to do. I ran to my room. He chased me, angrier than before! Right hand with the fish, left hand round my neck, he pulled me onto the bed and locked me down with his knees. AND SHOVED THE FISH INTO MY MOUTH!!!

I couldn't take it already, I felt a gush of liquid coming up my throat, and I was drained out of all my energy to even run to the toilet. I puked just at the entrance of my room. (facing my brother's room!)

that was the last time my mum cooked steam fish at home. thank god!

those two above were just a phase of my life and I'm sure many of us have varying stories about such incidents.

But this next one is not 'just' a phase. It is actually me beginning to think critically at such a young age. To think of it, I WAS pretty matured for my age, despite my size...

Fear of FAILURE

I feared failing tests that my mum set me

I feared failing to beat my brother at a game of checkers

I feared failing to walk faster than the person beside me

I feared failing to beat my peers at a class test

I feared failing to fry an egg

I feared failing to speak Malay well (I still do)

Yes, I basically feared to fail. Without notice, my fear for failure had actually caused me to be so hard on myself from such a young age. Blame it on my competitive upbringing, blame it on the storybooks I read, but all I can say is that it has served me well. This fear has made me push myself beyond my own expectations some times just to avoid failure. Inadvertently, I have tasted sweet success and had almost a smooth ride for quite a big part of my life.

fear of failure has brought me constant success.

Yet i know, failure is good for me. It makes me stronger, and more able. STILL, I am afraid to fail. Who isn't!

Life management usually assesses one from how he picks himself up from the pits. So I have not been managing my life well, or so to speak.

I realised this when I tasted my first 'major' blow which was in primary 4.

I was absent from school, and it was the day to collect our results. So my mum had my brother to do it for me. He came back home with my report book in hand and gave it to me. Excitedly, I peeked into it with my mother watching over me. I think it read 1 1 2 2. Which meant two band 2's. For math and for Science. They were the first band 2's of my primary school life(and not the last). I was shocked. It felt as if I had failed my two subjects! I burst out in tears, and my mother started consoling me. I distinctly remember her saying 'it's disappointing, but it's ok.' and something like 'where you fail is where you pick yourself up, stronger than before, and fight once more' my mum can start writing a book of quotes already right!

'where you fail is where you pick yourself up, stronger than before, and fight once more. this time, with the vision of success in mind. I Must, and I Will'

To be successful in managing my life, I must handle fear in the eye. I cannot avoid uncomfortable situations. Nor can I feign pretence just to get it over with. I have to be true to myself and not be afraid to face the consequences caused by my actions.

Everyone has their own fears. Overcoming it contrasts the better man from the lesser man.

You are what you say you are

I am a girl who is positive about herself. I am wise enough to make decisions on my own without constant supervision. I am responsible and beyond doubt, a good kid =) From this moment on, I will not lie nor create excuses for myself to avoid the consequenses that follow. As you sow, so you shall reap.

Thank you

Labels: changed

You
Me

A whole lotta difference besides the 2 eyes a nose and a mouth.
I guess you all figured that out a long time ago.
Here's the thing. No matter how close you are to someone, how much similarity you share with this other person, there is BOUND to be conflict.
WITHOUT A DOUBT.
if you beg to differ, please refresh your memory during the time where you felt like eating sushi and your friend just had to have a taste of tandoori chicken from god-knows-where.
Ah. There you have it. A conflict.

So, my point is how do you actually eradicate conflict from occuring? or at least try to manage it better?

Putting my LMS understanding to good use, here it goes.

I did the Self Assesment for Listening an I scored a 98. That is an average. But high average okay!
Considering I never used to 'listen to the other person's view even if it differ from mine.'
and i loved to interrupt the speaker. especially so if i just cannot relate to whatever he/she is talking about.

Wow. the amount of improvement I should make. I always considered myself a good listener simply because i can spend hours and hours on he phone with almost anyone.
That does NOT constitute a good listener. That simply means you love to talk and be listened to!

My ambition is to be psychiatrist. To achieve that, being a good listener is a must! I cannot simply day dream when my patient is talking! Nor can I focus on what to wear for my dinner date later...
This is how I relate listening skills to my life. It not only makes me a better person (this is secondary) it actually helps me achieve my life-long ambition of being paid to listen!

What I've realised about myself through the lesson on Understanding you and Me, is that I am guilty of so many of these bad habits. Room for improvement, plenty!

Like for example. A convesation with my father would go something like this
Dad steps into the house. I greet him at the door
Dad: Hello darling how are you?
Me: Fine thank you. (smiles. attempts to turn and walk back to my room)
Dad: Good. How was school?
Me: Um, good. Like normal. (attempts t walk closer to my room)
Dad: Oh okay, thats good. Have you eaten dinner?
Me: (tries to shrug him off) Yes. I ate Chicken rice and whip cream. Argh... and now my stomach hurts like crazy! gotta run!
Dad: (looks pitifully, and walks away)

I try at any cost to avoid a lengthy conversation with my mm or dad. I even forgot the reason why.
So that day I gave in to my mum, on the phone. And chatted with herfor awhile.
And goodness me.
I now remember the perfect reason why I hate all these talk.
We talked for close to 20++ minutes. And out of this 20 minutes++,
19 Minutes was about her!!!!
She didn't even bother to check if I was listening or not. She just rattled on and on
From the moment she woke up last month to what she ate last night.
First i went "oh really? how come!"
to "ahahahaha! oh my god.."
to "uh uh..."
to '...'
to 'zzz'

and she didnt even notice!

Then I realised what really turns me off about someone.
When he/she goes on and on about him/herself.

Then I stop to think.
The only reason why anyone would want to talk is usually when they have problems.
And problems relating to theselves of course!

So the change has to be upon myself!
I have to actually try to take interest in the lives of not just my close friends but also people like my parents, my neighbour, the person in the bus who had a bad day at work so much so that she had to take up two seats!

To be a good conversationalist, like Oprah, I must listen and put myself into the person's shoes. I must show empathy for her/him. It might just save her from making a nasty decision out of haste.

Labels: LISTEN TO YOUR HEART

We tend to hear this ever so often,
‘Manage your time well and you’ll be successful.’
‘See lah Dinah. This is what happens when you DON’T MANAGE YOUR TIME’
But how exactly can one manage their time?? I mean you guys speak of it as if it’s a little puppy to be tamed and everything will be fine. (How I wish!)

Then another thought comes into my mind, it’s MY life, so it’s MY 24hours and like duh I will manage it!
NO! It IS my life, yes, but have I been managing it well? Hmm…. Questionable.

And, do any of you feel like me? That 24h is JUST not enough!! And that time is passing by waaaaaay too fast especially when you’re sleeping? Or eating super great food? Ugh! It always happens to me! As soon as I touch my pillow, I hear the most irritating noise (which used to be my favourite song) waking me up.

Problem!
Sometimes, all these ease and accessibility makes it all too easy for me to just hit the snooze button and doze off for another 5 minutes…. And another 5minutes…. And another. That is the problem with me. With no one to stop me and watch over me, I tend to take things a tad bit too easily. When my mother used to be home, I would hear her screaming from one end of the house 15minutes before my alarm goes off. That would irritate the wits out of me.
But now, with that in control, I have been the victim of the snooze-and-skip-breakfast syndrome. Yes, I sleep through my supposed 15minutes breakfast time. But hey, lucky for me, the bus ride to school is a whole 1hour 25minutes! That gives me enough time for breakfast AND lunch!

Okay okay, point taken!
I shall refrain from hitting the snooze button and STOP eating breakfast in the bus. It is STILL against the law.

Problem!
You know I actually do keep track of deadlines and am not exactly the type who leaves stuff for the last second. Yet lately, I find myself begging God to just spare me another hour of staying alert. I just cannot seem to finish my stuff on time!
No, I’ve not been watching too much TV.
No, there is no one home to distract me.
No, I do not spend too much time on my CCA.
Yes, the ringing handy has been a distraction.
Yes, I have been spending too much time on the computer doing not so important things.
Yes, I have given myself too many munching breaks.
Yes, I have too many responsibilities and I just cannot say no.

Okay okay, no excuses Dinah.
I shall not shoulder ANYMORE responsibilities than I already have. I am NOT Superwoman nor a Powerpuff Girl. I will TRY my best to sit on my phone and not wake up till I have completed my task and deserve a break. I will also buy an organizer to indicate free days for any other activities so that they will not clash.


Dinah Bee Bte Shaik Nazeemuddin has been a victim of human overload! Hahaha! Or so I think. For a petite (not short) girl like myself, I really think that the world should just GIMME A BREAK!
Beginning from ALL the household chores (excluding cooking), to my own schoolwork, to teaching tuition, to project time, to family time, to quality time with my boyfriend (School NOT considered)
I think I deserve a break from a few of these things once in awhile. The worst part is, it’s not as if I’m really good at all these things, so it really takes up time and effort. 24h a day, 7 days in a week, can all these be settled?
Yes it can.

Seriously, LMS has pushed me to the limit to really make me think and assess my situation. I’m no longer a little girl anymore where whatever I do, Daddy’ll protect me. I’ve been forced out of Daddy’s safe care and out into the wild. Life is at its best, yet at its most dangerous. One wrong turn and there goes your 24hours! Deadline’s up, you lose…
So what have I done to better the situation now that I know of more ways to manage my life and my time?

GOOD JOB, MATE!
For starters, I have begun saying no to people. No doubt hurting them, but at least I don’t push myself off the cliff trying to do things for others when my own stuff is unsettled. It’s not as if they’d die without my help. Hehehe….. Sorry my dear busy brother. Your little sister is busy too!

I have also put my hand phone to good use; as my to-do list. It tells me the whole lotta things I WANT to do, and in another separate, more concise page, list of things that I NEED to do and by when. How nice.
I have also come up with a long long list of short term goals and long term goals. This keeps me spurred on and motivated to continue pursuing my goals.

An example of my short term goal is
36: Give yourself a break, treat yourself to a bar of chocolate of your choice every Friday.TGIF!

Long term goal
2: Have a bank balance of $1000 just by saving on your monthly allowance.
3: Psycho Dad into giving you higher monthly allowance.

Not bad for starters eh?
I will work on the two earlier points. Buy an organizer and make full use of it, don’t stop saying no until I really feel like saying yes, and allocate my sleeping time properly and have healthy sleeping habits.

Labels: Time for FOOOOOD

One word, Adam Sandler.

I don't really have any issues with my temper, thank god for that. My Dad broke my brother's nose before during one of their 'sparring sessions'. My mum seasonally breaks furniture in the house and makes us clear it up. She claims its because we don't do any work around the house. My brother got into countless amount of trouble when he was in school to the extent that he almost got expelled. And then there's me. Haha! i haven't got into any major trouble recently in the past 16 years of my life. I have angered people alot, i know, and i'm sorry............NOT!



My trade secret? smyle.

This smile of mine has brought me places yo! It has won me extra marks that made me pass my tests, extra food at no extra charge, free gifts and yada yada. I smile at any/every occasion. Yep, even when I'm angry.
Sometimes I think that I have trouble expressing my 'ugly side'. I'm not used to throwing my temper around. I mean is it fair to others who have really nothing to do with my problems? Would they want to have such a self-centered friend? sad right!

Once though, I vaguely remember how I got angry with my brother and my mum for ganging up against me. Even so, all I could do was slam my room door, kick the cupboard a little, and huddle between my knees, sobbing in pain!

That's my anger experience! All I can hope for is that the smile continues to work magic so that I don't have to get angry all my life!

First LMS-Life management skills workshop was on the first week of school, Friday.
Lotsa sharing from our teacher Mrs Diana Chee. I grew a fond liking to her son! I remember being almost exactly like him when I was a little younger! While he was afraid of the floortrap, I used to be afraid of using the toilet bowl cos I kept thinking that a gruesome hand would come and pull me in! Talk about wild imaginations.... haha!

Back to self-awareness, we had to pick one quality that best describes ourselves. This one was not so bad for me. I picked punctuality. I hate having to wait for people, what's worse is if they were to cancel an appointment at the last second. Upon reflecting about it, I'm guilty as charged!
I usually am early, if not on time. But there many a time, I run late too! Without noticing, I have become my own enemy!muahahaha!
not usually for appointments and stuff, but it gets difficult for me to stick to my curfew, or like for example, if we have something to plan about and we all decide to have a conference online, (because I really think nothing productive will come out of it) I'm always late!
That's really bad. POINT TAKEN!
1. Work on my own punctuality since i hate waiting for others.

The second one was a wee bit difficult for me. Identify one quality which you like best about yourself. WOW. Talk about self praise! haha! All in all I picked optimistic. Wie so?
Despite many set backs, (praise God) I've always been able to pick my self up single handedly almost immediately and pretend as if nothing ever happened.
It has its own good and bad.
Good because I won't get daunted by anything or any mishaps. Things go on as per planned.
Bad because
-The other person affected will think that I'm a hypocrite and that his/her relationship never mattered much to me.
-Forgetting the matter doesn't solve it. It just makes the problem dormant for the time being.
-Some day, my thoughts will haunt me for certain. As in whatever loss/problems I've faced in the past that I've kept aside for so long, so well, tumble down on my petite self and it will get too much for me to handle. What happens then?

Nuff' said. After listening to everyone else's thoughts on their lives, I'm gonna stick through to my passion/ambition/life-long dream. For certain!

Johari window in the next post!

Labels: TIMEOUT

Don't Even Mess With The CIA!
The Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD), The FBI, and the CIA are all trying to prove that they are the best at apprehending criminals. The President decides to give them a test. He releases a rabbit into a forest and each of them has to catch it.

The CIA goes in. They place animal informants throughout the forest. They question all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigations they conclude that rabbits do not exist.

The FBI goes in. After two weeks with no leads they burn the forest, killing everything in it, including the rabbit, and they make no apologies. The rabbit had it coming.

The LAPD goes in. They come out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear is yelling: “Okay! Okay! I’m a rabbit! I’m a rabbit!”

He Must Be Blonde!
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says “Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses.”

The woman answered “Well, I have contacts.”

The policeman replied “I don’t care who you know! You’re getting a ticket!”

I Know That!
If they squeeze olives to get olive oil, then how do they get baby oil?

The Favourite!
At a press conference the Brunettes announce they are going to make a trip to the Moon.
The Redheads speak up “That’s been done before, we’re going to go to Mars”.
The Blondes speak up “That’s nothing, we’re going to be the first people to go to the Sun”.
One of the reporters says “Don’t you idiots know that you’ll burn up?”

The Blondes say “NO WE WON’T; WE’RE GOING TO GO AT NIGHT!”

One-Liners!
How did the blonde try to kill the bird…she threw it off of a cliff.

Why does a blonde only change her baby’s diapers every month…the instructions stated, “good for up to 20 pounds”.

Why do men like blonde jokes…it is one thing they can understand.

What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde’s head…a space invader.

What do you call a smart blonde…a golden retriever.

Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months…because the box said from 2-4 years.

What do UFO’s and smart blondes have in common…you keep hearing about them, but never see any.

What do you call a blonde in college…a visitor.

Question to the blonde…why do you have an ice pack on your chest…to keep the milk fresh.

Go check it out guys, loudjokes.com

Labels: TIMEOUT

WOW!
Was that it? Unbelievable! I have a blog!
Haha! After all the dissing and making fun of people with boring lives such that they have to blog about it to an unknown audience, I created a blog of my own... (in your face,Dinah!)

Hey, I do read blogs to, but usually ones with lotsa pictures in it, or those people whom know are UBER interesting and I don' mind reading. Well here I am, kick starting my first LMS(Life Management Skills) project.

Guys, help me out here, I'm a total amateur at this.
ENJOY!

Labels: TIMEOUT