When one door closes, another opens. Our adoption is complete and our lives are moving forward. This blog will hold our everlasting memories of our adoption... please join us over at our family blog.

I got an email from Lu at Poppies Blooming the other day asking me if she could paint a picture of Addison ... this picture, actually ... you might remember it ... ;)


So a couple days later, I got another email from Lu telling me she was done ... that was fast! Here is the final product ...


Isn't that amazing? Thank you so much Lu! Please stop by Poppies Blooming to see how you can get a canvas of your own!

During my Black Friday shopping spree today, I bought this train for under our Christmas tree. We still have to put up the tree, but the kids wanted to set up the train ... so we did. Nika was amazed by the train ... it was so cute!

I think we have only found two things Nika does not like so far ... egg yolk (but she likes egg whites) and tortellini ... I'm not sure if it was the tortellini or the spaghetti sauce that she didn't like. Anyway ... I videotaped her eating chicken noodle soup. LOL. Sounds crazy, but whatever ... she is my only kid that will eat chicken noodle soup, so I was proud. Plus, I think she has pretty good oral motor skills for a kid with Down syndrome that has never had OT or ST in her life. :) And ... not only that ... she is signing "more" already! Such a smart cookie, she is!

Happy Thanksgiving ...
gobble, gobble, gobble!
We have so much to be thankful for this year ... our beautiful family being at the top of the list. I know I've said this before, but we feel so incredibly blessed to have found Nika ... and to have been given the opportunity to add her to our family. We are also so incredibly blessed to have all of you in our life, because without the support of all of you, we would not be where we are today.

And ... today happens to be my wedding anniversary! Nine years ago I married the love of my life ... my soul, my rock. For him, I am VERY thankful. Love you babe {he is a blog lurker just like many of you ... maybe I can bring him out of hiding sometime soon ... haha}.

Nika is adjusting beautifully ... the standoffish behavior toward her siblings has pretty much disappeared. She stills needs to take her own little time outs every once in awhile, but good grief, who wouldn't need to after being around her overzealous siblings? We are also still trying to find a balance between the girls ... they are both a bit high-maintenance, for lack of a better word. ;)

Pictures and video to come ...

Tonight Mason was playing ball with Nika ... she was scooting really close to him, it was pretty cute. We have taught Mason a few words in Russian ... "brat" being one of them ... that means "brother". So when they were playing ball, he kept saying, "Throw the ball to brat!"
Chicky saw me get the camera out to take pictures of Mason and Nika, so of course she had to get in the mix. I think they decided on a cheesy shot ...
Nika is definitely getting more and more used to the idea of having siblings around. She no longer pushes them away and sometimes even initiates contact with them. Our biggest hurdle at this point is diffusing the jealousy between Payton and Nika ... if one is being held, the other needs to be held by that same person. Hopefully as the novelty continues to wear off, the jealously will too. ;)

Things are progressing nicely ... Addison is getting used to the thought of having a brother and a sister. :) I think letting her observe them playing within the same room has eased her comfort level with them. I even caught her smiling and waving at them today ... huge progress!

Payton continues to think that Addison is her little baby doll ... I know, you are probably thinking, "No wonder Addison is overwhelmed!" LOL. When we first got home, Payton wanted to get Addison dressed. Yesterday, I was telling Payton to say goodnight to Addison before I took her up for nap. Payton had a baby wipe in her hand and proceeded to wipe Addison's face and hands ... I guess she thought they were dirty. Addison's two fingers that she sucks are a mess and she has a perma-dent on her one finger from her tooth. Payton saw the dent and got sad that Addison had a boo-boo. So cute. BTW ... anyone have any ideas as to how to heal chapped little fingers that get vigorously sucked on? Sigh. I put vaseline on them today, but I'm not sure if there is a better alternative.

Mason continues to be the endearing big brother, although I think he has backed off a little since he continued to get a negative reaction from Addison. :( He is bound and determined to get Addison to walk ... it is so cute.

Gross Motor Skills

When we were at the baby home in Russia, we noticed that there were no stairs to give Addison the opportunity to learn how to walk up and down them. Her entire grouppa area was one level and if they ever went outside, they took the elevator. I had tried to get Addison to use the stairs on some playground equipment, and she seemed to have no idea what I was trying to do. That led me to believe we had some work to do on stairs.

Fast forward to bringing her home ... we walk up and down stairs in our house every day, several times a day. From the get go, Addison has been climbing the stairs ... she can get a little unsteady, but she does great. Today, I was able to get her to step up 8-10 stairs with two hands assisted ... holy smokes, she surprised me!

Speech and language development

Well, she definitely is saying "dada" ... and I am pretty sure she is associating "dada" with Kyle. I was holding her at one point today when he walked by and she said "dada". She is also doing well with repeating B's ... like "ball". I'm not sure that I've heard her say any M sounds yet ... hence the lack of "mama". Haha ... grrrr.

As a way to entertain Nika in the hotel and on the airplane, I started singing The Itsy Bitsy Spider to her, and showing her the hand motions. This little Russian princess is so smart ... it doesn't matter that she doesn't speak English, because she understands! I was doing it with her again tonight and she made the hand motions for when the spider crawls up the water spout and for when the spider gets washed out. Are you singing the song in your head now to figure out which motions I'm talking about? LOL. Anyway, I was super impressed that she has picked up the hand motions so quickly ... in English, nonetheless!

Bonding

Nika definitely likes to be held and I'm not sure that Payton is too hip on this, but we make it work. At first, I wasn't sure we should hold her so much for fear that she will never want to be put down ... but, I also realize that this is part of her attachment process, so we are trying to find a happy medium. Today Nika has been quite attached to Kyle ... I guess she got mad at me for cleaning her little nose out. Sigh ... I can't win. LOL.

I think I need to put a disclaimer out there and sort of respond to a comment that was made ... I didn't mean to scare anyone by posting about our adjustment. Don't worry, Addison is NOT going anywhere. If I came across as if to say that we wouldn't get through this, forgive me ... that was not my intention.

There are many, many adoption stories out there that only tell the bright, happy side of adoption ... and that is okay ... some people don't want to share their struggles. While our experience has been bright and happy for the most part, there are always going to be bumps in adoption ... I'm just trying to keep it real and make people aware of the things that adoptive families go through. What we are experiencing is very real and very common ... I've come to find this out. Knowing that this is "normal" adjustment and knowing I'm not alone ... well, it makes me feel better.

Addison is bonding and attaching to Kyle and I beautifully. Given that, I did not expect her to shy away from Mason and Payton. I do believe with all my heart that we will get past this, we just need to give Nika time. This is all very new to her ... nothing here is "normal" for her and understanding that is key. I can already see her opening up, but as with everything ... there are ups and there are downs.

I would like to share an article with you that sort of explains just exactly what Nika is going through. I hope this analogy makes everyone better understand what she is experiencing ...

Imagine for a moment…

You have met the person you've dreamed about all your life. He has every quality that you desire in a spouse. You plan for the wedding, enjoying every free moment with your fiancée. You love his touch, his smell, the way he looks into your eyes. For the first time in your life, you understand what is meant by "soul mate," for this person understands you in a way that no one else does. Your heart beats in rhythm with his. Your emotions are intimately tied to his every joy, his every sorrow.

The wedding comes. It is a happy celebration, but the best part is that you are finally the wife of this wonderful man. You fall asleep that night, exhausted from the day's events, but relaxed and joyful in the knowledge that you are next to the person who loves you more than anyone in the world…the person who will be with you for the rest of your life.

The next morning you wake up, nestled in your partner's arms. You open your eyes and immediately look for his face.

But IT'S NOT HIM! You are in the arms of another man. You recoil in horror. Who is this man? Where is your beloved?

You ask questions of the new man, but it quickly becomes apparent that he doesn't understand you. You search every room in the house, calling and calling for your husband. The new guy follows you around, trying to hug you, pat you on the back,...even trying to stroke your arm, acting like everything is okay.

But you know that nothing is okay. Your beloved is gone. Where is he? Will he return? When? What has happened to him?

Weeks pass. You cry and cry over the loss of your beloved. Sometimes you ache silently, in shock over what has happened. The new guy tries to comfort you. You appreciate his attempts, but he doesn't speak your language-either verbally or emotionally. He doesn't seem to realize the terrible thing that has happened...that your sweetheart is gone.

You find it difficult to sleep. The new guy tries to comfort you at bedtime with soft words and gentle touches, but you avoid him, preferring to sleep alone, away from him and any intimate words or contact.

Months later, you still ache for your beloved, but gradually you are learning to trust this new guy. He's finally learned that you like your coffee black, not doctored up with cream and sugar. Although you still don't understand his bedtime songs, you like the lilt of his voice and take some comfort in it.

More time passes. One morning, you wake up to find a full suitcase sitting next to the front door. You try to ask him about it, but he just takes you by the hand and leads you to the car. You drive and drive and drive. Nothing is familiar. Where are you? Where is he taking you?

You pull up to a large building. He leads you to an elevator and up to a room filled with people. Many are crying. Some are ecstatic with joy. You are confused. And worried.

The man leads you over to the corner. Another man opens his arms and sweeps you up in an embrace. He rubs your back and kisses your cheeks, obviously thrilled to see you.

You are anything but thrilled to see him. Who in the world is he? Where is your beloved? You reach for the man who brought you, but he just smiles (although he seems to be tearing up, which concerns you), pats you on the back, and puts your hand in the hands of the new guy. The new guy picks up your suitcase and leads you to the door. The familiar face starts openly crying, waving and waving as the elevator doors close on you and the new guy.

The new guy drives you to an airport and you follow him, not knowing what else to do. Sometimes you cry, but then the new guy tries to make you smile, so you grin back, wanting to "get along." You board a plane. The flight is long. You sleep a lot, wanting to mentally escape from the situation.

Hours later, the plane touches down. The new guy is very excited and leads you into the airport where dozens of people are there to greet you. Light bulbs flash as your photo is taken again and again. The new guy takes you to another guy who hugs you. Who is this one? You smile at him. Then you are taken to another man who pats your back and kisses your cheek. Then yet another fellow gives you a big hug and messes your hair.

Finally, someone (which guy is this?) pulls you into his arms with the biggest hug you've ever had. He kisses you all over your cheeks and croons to you in some language you've never heard before.

He leads you to a car and drives you to another location. Everything here looks different. The climate is not what you're used to. The smells are strange. Nothing tastes familiar, except for the black coffee. You wonder if someone told him that you like your coffee black.

You find it nearly impossible to sleep. Sometimes you lie in bed for hours, staring into the blackness, furious with your husband for leaving you, yet aching from the loss. The new guy checks on you. He seems concerned and tries to comfort you with soft words and a mug of warm milk. You turn away, pretending to go to asleep.

People come to the house. You can feel the anxiety start to bubble over as you look into the faces of all the new people. You tightly grasp the new guy's hand. He pulls you closer. People smile and nudge one other, marveling at how quickly you've fallen in love. Strangers reach for you, wanting to be a part of the happiness.

Each time a man hugs you, you wonder if he will be the one to take you away. Just in case, you keep your suitcase packed and ready. Although the man at this house is nice and you're hanging on for dear life, you've learned from experience that men come and go, so you just wait in expectation for the next one to come along.

Each morning, the new guy hands you a cup of coffee and looks at you expectantly. A couple of times the pain and anger for your husband is so great that you lash out, sending hot coffee across the room, causing the new guy to yelp in pain. He just looks at you, bewildered. But most of the time you calmly take the cup. You give him a smile. And wait. And wait. And wait.

Earlier today while Nika and I were waiting to go pick the kids up from school, she got very sleepy and feel asleep standing up against the ottoman. I thought it was so cute how Zoe (our dog) was laying right there next to her. Needless to say, Nika couldn't wait for nap until after we picked up the kids ...

I finally got some pictures downloaded ... these pictures were taken on our first night home and the next morning ... when the kids were getting along great! I'm not sure what happened after that to make Nika withdraw from her brother and sister, but I do have to say she seems to be doing great with them since they got home from school. We'll see how the day pans out ... I think the fact that she is not quite as "new" to us as she was two days ago is helping them not bombard her so much ...