So this whole bike riding thing.

Guess what happens when you don't ride much, and when you do ride it is to and from work only.

It sucks when you get dropped. Frustrating, demoralizing. I added a bit of a description to the strava stuff, call those mini-blogs in a way I guess.

Last week on Smackdown we hit the dirt, I kept getting dropped/gapped off. I just couldn't pedal hard enough to keep up, and my heart rate no matter how much I pushed it wouldn't go over 148. I think that's called fatigue. And yeah. I was f'n exhausted.

This week I got the HR up but died on Pine. Predictably. It was hot, we talked all the way to Prospect, I was riding with big Tom up front and my HR was at 155 (max has been 170 or so lately maybe a few higher but not significantly). And yeah it was hot out. I died on Pine and could see them there and started chasing, but couldn't make up ground and couldn't even go as fast as I did on the Crockett with the knobbies three weeks ago. I didn't take any short cuts and just rode it out myself.

And I know why, but still bummed. I don't know how much of it is the bike. Is the Klein really just old and slow? Would the black blue (carbon CX) that i've ridden all over everywhere as a road bike and seemed to be pretty good as a road bike, but languishing w/o a crank be any faster? I don't know.

I don't like not knowing btw. Don't like that it is sitting there unrideable. I sort of looked at what a new road frame might cost, there's an emonda for $400 or so, but then i could buy fancy light wheels for the crockett for the same price. But not going to buy stuff, mostly because, I know it isn't the stuff that's slow. It is me.

I just need to ride.

I thought about it yesterday but it was so hot, bike path was super busy and I was tired. Dogs woke me up at 5am this morning, after being hot pads in bed due to fireworks going off until about 11pm or later. Finally kicked them out and fell asleep. Woke up, figured I might as well head in early and get a jump on catching up at the bike shop then head to the office for the late morning meeting. Woke up, made coffee, laid down in bed to drink coffee and catch up on overnight IG and internets and fell back asleep, woken up when E left for work and then instantly back asleep. oops. yeah i'm tired. still.

I wasn't quite prepared for how fucked up the crappy feelings from the ride left me. Also the ride really fucked up my hip/back/muscle/I dunno on my right side.

It is fine unless I go for a hard ride. So not only did the ride suck I was in pain and holy shit it was bad. Yeah I need to go see my D.O. get some OMM and diagnose the source/problem find a solution.

Instead of riding yesterday I read. finished the 3rd book in the Myke Cole Shadow Ops series. And started book 2 of a different series. Didn't really do much, needed that.

needed the sleep.

And that brings me to the TT tonight. Bikeworks is starting it up again.

But it is going to be over 90, the TT bike isn't set up, and I'm still tired. Somewhat tempted to just ride over and ride home, but even that sounds pretty exhausting. That and I've got the Crossrip+ and no kit. Would have to go home and swap it all. half tempted to charge the bike up and ride it out there, but that's sort of defeating the purpose of riding and getting fit. That and if I go and ride it and feel like shit then get dropped riding home (that I know will happen) I just will feel miserable again and I don't know if that's worth it. And I still have all the stuff I needed to do instead of sleeping to get done. Maybe next week. Maybe it won't be 900thousand degrees next week. Although fast air. Mmmmm.

I keep thinking, man I should just get a coach to help get me in shape. But I know what I need to do. I need to just ride, find a comfortable base, then build on that. It is going to take time. And I just have to make time. I'll add it to the list.

But hey, I'm still on the bike most days, and that's pretty awesome. The commute is amazing and so what if I am not as fast as I once was, maybe I'm now as slow as I ever was.

Yes I need to focus on the positive but it isn't like flipping a switch and that line from Furtado's interview kind of rings true, "...that your run-of-the-mill pep talk isn't helping." And some stuff isn't totally under control. And I slip a bit. Two steps forward, one step back, doubting myself constantly.

Okay - This disjuncted interrupted mess of words has gone on too long and my tiny windows of time have closed at this spot- And if i don't move on i'll be stuck here dealing with stuff for another 3hrs, stuff that can wait.

Don't mind me, i'll figure this shit out eventually. or at least learn along the way

heddwch
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while it wasn't the factor, Bourdain's death, kind of underscored that my decision was correct.

Downside, social situations that were fun and manageable, one on one or in a group, now trigger all the stuff that having a beer or more made disappear.

Chip posted this article earlier today:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/opinion/commentary/ct-perspec-alcoholism-anthony-bourdain-drinking-suicide-0622-20180621-story.html

granted it is biased and leveraged by those who are pushing for prohibition level avoidance but still, man does it ring true on all accounts.

Call it one of those choices that are personal. If you can enjoy a beer or a cocktail and be satisfied with one or two and go days without one, that's awesome.

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This draft has been sitting here since the 21st of June. Haven't been back.

But best to start with a new post with the rest.

heddwch
G