Right on my head - middle of non-birthday birthday ride. 

Smashed my fingers lower back and a 30odd pound bike landed violently and with significant inertia/kinetic energy on the inside of my right leg/calf. 

But all that happened after I didn't get the wheel up in the right spot and that sent me over the bars head first into a very large rock. KABOOM splat. 

When your first thought as you're crashing is, damn that was loud and hard and i wonder if the helmet is broken, is probably not so good. 

Feeling pretty good all done and told. didn't black out and yeah it was a fucking ringer of a hit on my head, no headache. Everything's pretty sore, esp lower back, I think that hit on a large pointy rock at the end of the crash. Don't totally remember. Happened so fast. it wasn't one of those slow motion ones. it was fast.

And here I had felt like nailing this would be the PR time...  it is a really difficult rock section. I've ridden it once in both directions, but usually fuck it up somehow and dab, or get off and walk after someone else dabs. Most people dab or don't quite get it. I haven't seen anyone ride it perfectly every time. Most ride it more often than I do tho. Most of the guys I'm riding with. All with years and years more practice on this section and skills to match (mostly).

So at least i fucked up on something pretty challenging and not something stupid, and honestly? I don't know exactly what I fucked up on but would I try the approach again? YUP. but this time maybe a few inches to the left and a healthy dose of respect and prep. At least my instincts were to tuck my chin and lead into the rock with the crown of my head. Honestly I just remember seeing the rock coming at my face and then WAM on the top of my head. Would have loved to have it on video (on-board might not have been as spectacular as from a different perspective).

Phone survived, bike survived (rear der would have been destroyed if there was one on there). And eventually i was able to ride out. Walked for a while, then finally was able to pedal. couldn't really grab the brake with the right hand tho. 

There's a pile of other shit going on but this has kind of been a nice distraction, but not really. Would have been better to have made it through the ride w/o smashing myself on some big unforgiving rocks. 

We'll see what the full implications are. may not be good for the 4Fs stage race. Crashed out... dunno. 

new aches and pains and restrictions in motion have cropped up during the day today. heading to doc's tomorrow.

but now i'm headed out of the office

might pick up on the rest of the stuff later - or i'll continue the convalescence and just watch TV.

heddwch

G

 The day was okay, we bailed on the redo of Stage 2 of the 4Fs, the scope challenge went smoothly but took a while.

And then at home, gonna cue up another episode of Altered Carbon (yeah I'm liking this, it is good) and E says "They cancelled your show." 

me: um? what show?
E: "the one you were watching, netflix cancelled it"
me: ...

sigh

kind of funny. https://www.forbes.com/sites/erikkain/2020/08/26/real-death-has-come-for-altered-carbon-as-netflix-cancels-its-best-sci-fi-show/#702e879b27a8

Real dead. Won't feel bad when netflix not on the tablet anymore, but hey at least I know i only have a two seasons to get through, perhaps it isn't so bad.

Take this one show at a time. Get through this. Deal with what's next when it is time. 

That last line there, maybe not surprisingly, changed my mood from grumpy and pissed to even and okay and not mad anymore. 

Funny that, re-alignment.

What to do. Today's storm change the ride plans dramatically, perhaps the weekend one will too, maybe that'll be even easier, no ride. What's the only sure thing about a streak? That it will come to an end. These birthday rides...  maybe they've been going on long enough. Next year can start a new ride tradition, maybe.

Gotta get there first. 

One motherfucking day at a time. 

heddwch

G

 Sometimes... one finds balance in a different means of escape.

Perhaps not balance...  but having been reading a lot, and listening to a lot of books, i actually started watching something. 

Felt good. Oddly. I'm exhausted but it was like reading a good book, revitalizing. 

WTF. Staring at a table screen watching a series? That's not supposed to do that.

And of course I started watching something that said - oh no you don't that was enough and it wasn't a full access invitation to watch the whole season, oh no, you can only see the first episode and a half before we say log in with your non-existent cable provider. And yes, Snowpiercer the TV series? Is just as fucking good as the film. At least the first episode and a half were.

And then someone started a free trial with netflix, so of course I started watching something, and needed the 'hit' the escape, the release from the hell, the impending civil war, the racial violence, the incredulous hypocrisy that is becoming this country I'm in, this insanely frustrating juxtaposition... Have to stay sane to help hold some imaginary line. I'm struggling with it.

Tag teamed dinner with the kid, stopped at a farm stand and paid for some veggies, made dinner, watched TV, escaped. But not TV on the TV, no - that's no my domain.

The shit i can sit through isn't something that others in the house can, and v/v... it is okay, it just is.

Fuck this is about as close to a drunken rambling as I'll get, similar feeling of exhaustion, lethargy, and the  rest of the emotions...

maybe I'll sleep well tonight, maybe i'll remember to bring the bike in tonight even. Probably should do that. If I don't the rain will roll in before I get out of bed. But then the bike will be pre-wetted. 

I dunno...

okay i know a few things, one of them is I need a break, not just a day off here or there to take  because i'll lose them, like i've done since losing the days in April, fuck we have been given many days off, i seem to find myself at work on those days...  oh well... it is okay, i'm just in need of a reset...  in maintenance mode now. What show? Altered Carbon. I really enjoyed the books but they were so long ago that I don't remember them well, other than liking them.

one foot motherfucker, one foot, then the other, 

amor fati motherfucker

heddwch

G

 too hungry

eating lunch now, almost ate it at 9:30.

not sure what I'm going to eat for lunch...

will figure that out when i'm hungry again, if i ever stop being hungry

 MIA? Me? never.

Had a conversation last week about someone's guilt for not posting more regularly. 

They have more invested in this whole thing I suppose, although my investment in this web logging thing should make me a millionaire or something. To date is hasn't done anything but act as a substitute for therapy, so maybe it has saved me a million bucks? I dunno.

Rode the MTB this weekend. Had fun.

Been playing with the Paramount. Wheels aside it is back to old school road bike. Downtube shifters and all.

Almost put the 7700 shifters on, but found the 7402 (8sp) levers last night looking for the other American Classic waterbottle hardware. Unfortunately i found this morning, and confirmed by checking the shimano tech docs that I'm missing two little bits. They work. they are functional and I went ahead and taped up the bars. 

Need to either find those two parts or actually put the 7700 on. But maybe that's why I was able to pick up these, because there was something missing. As someone pointed out in all the polling I did last night, everyone should have at least one road bike with down tube shifters.

Paramount it is. 

Today a year ago was the first MTB ride on the Stache in Big River. Have not looked back. Been f'n AWESOME!

Hard to believe it is Tuesday. Feels like Thursday. But then again I worked on Saturday and Sunday and while I took Friday off it was busy as hell and not relaxing. 

And yeah it is getting close to the day i hate the most. Right now thinking next year I should do the North South Trail - but not just point to point but from the south to the north and back again. On the singlespeed. That way I can avoid all the other people for the full duration of that fucking day except anyone stupid enough or brave enough or compassionate enough to join me on such an idiotic attempt. 

Damn that took all of a few sentences to turn me into one pissed off grumpy mood. 

Gonna see what we can do with the 4Fs tonight. Paramount it is. A couple high school kids and a couple old collegiate staffers...  in a race that is broken down by average age. I laughed. We're right in the middle, duh. Funny. Last week wasn't too bad. Today is a good time to practice some pacelining, figure out the route and then go for the fastest time on Thursday. Our fastest time. 

Gonna be nice and 90 out there. Perfect. or not.

I'm kind of excited to have the P-mount running like this. Been a long time. Still kind of want a new modern road bike. Took a peek at the KindHuman offerings...  the road bike? too fucking small. Sigh...

Oh well, I was also thinking, goddamnit i have too many bikes to ride...  and finally, deliberately and not w/o effort they are all functional. Well the Croll is still just frameset with bar and stem (and my damn Dura Ace hoods but the brakes are hooked up and I don't want to take it apart just for that). 

And yet I want to get a new modern road bike and a geared full suspension mtb. But neither would get ridden enough to justify the couple grand (minimum - more like $3k once the crank is bumped to a 180).

Sigh...

almost time to go ride...

to escape for a while...

or something...

best get the water bottles filled...

heddwch

G

 been listening to Bones UK and Otep and the rest for a while now when working.

decided to switch it up - going with some Foy Vance today and that mix.

not as upbeat, not as smashing but it is melodic, thoughtful, soothing...

https://fire.airnow.gov/

that's not melodic thoughtful or soothing...

2020 gonna 2020 I guess...

News gets worse and better, I have a strong gut feeling that the orange grifter is gonna win again, only hope is to flip the Senate but, also that's gonna be not a gimme...  pro-tip if you're going to edit the ending of a sentence - make sure it makes sense (don't just write something instead of editing the last thing you wrote)

i'm thinking about pulling the aero bars off and putting the downtube shifters back on the paramount and using that as a road bike for now. Maybe leave the wheel cover on...  at least through the 4Fs. Although I'll bet that the toe overlap will cause me to crash spectacularly trackstanding at a stoplight in front of a crowd.

Team TT with Burke tonight - PR time. Maybe. Dunno if I can beat the burrito + Becca Strava PR i have on the course. Will take some sort of magic to make that happen. I'll just be happy to get under 20...  I mean we should be able to get well under it but I don't want to set expectations too high.

Oh - gotta remember to get water- BRB -while i'm thinking of it

Not too hot today - only 75 right now. Felt almost cold this morning.

Today is one of the disjointed days. No cohesive narrative or bullshit percolating in my head that needs to get out. That I can get out of there.

should close it up and walk away before I add another rambling disconnected section

amor fati motherfuckers
heddwch
-G

 one year ago today I put the Stache together and started MTB'n again. December rolled around and that was all i wanted to do.

big plans to start racing, to do the 24 hours of Great Glen in the solo single speed category...

plans disrupted

so i just rode

...

was going to write more, lost track of what i was going to say

does it matter?

no

eat

work

maybe sleep

ride bikes

heddwch
G

Def initial reaction is to be Too Indirect - or to be Too Direct - the Direct only comes into my head WAY too late to use:

https://xkcd.com/2346/

not just for this - for everything...

just call me rainman

--

Stage 1 today - 5 mile Time Trial...  there's a hill, one I don't really like on it. Going to be interesting to see how it goes. 

Going to try the slightly hungry approach - not sure it is going to be the best idea but I have one PBJ sandwich left but if I eat it now I'm going to be too full, so I'll just plan on riding back here - get my stuff - eat it then. Have been drinking water, took a quick walk outside to move the sitting and working in the office junk around. Need to fill up a bottle - i think I can make it on one bottle, although it is in the mid-80s. 

A little more coffee and lets see what happens out there. The 4 person part of the event is going to be interesting. There are certainly groups of hyper competitive masters that have the best bikes and the best training and best discipline and some measure of natural ability, so yeah we're doing it to just do it. Should be a good challenge. Not sure how to get the next couple stages in timing wise. But fuck it - it is a minor detail - will figure out when it is time to figure it out.

Trying not to self derail, focus on keeping some momentum. 

Bug guys and classics, CX and what not, momentum is our friend...  those short punchy hills on the MTB whatever advantage I can get trying to make this clydesdale move forward. Momentum is important.

okay -in an effort to get to the start point before Syl - i need to start prep'n now.

y'all be good

heddwch

G

On Saturday another thesis developed in my head. About riding technical trails and how it is similar to playing a complicated piece on the Violin. Now there are amazingly talented people who can sight read the most difficult music and make you think they've been playing it for years. Same as there are some riders who can be dropped into an incredibly technical trail they've never seen and ride it perfectly and cleanly the first time.

Those people are special and not normal. Most of us have to work hard at what they do easily. That's the cool part about humanity. Hopefully you find that thing you're best at and make look easy and at the same time enjoy it. even better if you can get paid doing it.

So if you've played music, had music lessons, at some point in your life you probably can have a good idea where this is going.

I know a lot of people session difficult sections. Either with an instrument or on the bike on the trail.

Doing the difficult section over and over until you get it. 

And that certainly isn't a wrong way to do it, but it is just one way to do it.

I always preferred to go from start to finish. In my mind it helps be more intune with the whole thing, the transitions betweem the flow, the next note or turn, each flowing into the other, setting up each better and smoother and then slowly eventually the difficult parts come together. Maybe only tripping up on one rock or a note.

But doing it this way, on a trail you're trying to learn, the unconscious can take over, the flow becomes more natural, more ingrained and i think better.

More fun? I dunno. Better? Probably not as fast, but i think the end point is the same, but by the time it is smooth and flowy w/o breaking it down it is better to do the whole thing each time.

Is this making sense? Not sure.

Anyway - just one of those sidebars in my head.

heddwch

G

 no food and it is about time to head home - shit forgot about turning one system back off... damnit

i might have actually run off home w/ it on and that would have been bad...  glad I wanted to share this before heading out the door..

brb

okay so where was I? Middle of writing the post about music and mtb'n and all that and saw a repost about this story:

https://gravel.shimano.com/en-us/explore/explore-beyond-new-england-to-bend

It is a great read, an excellent write up about what it is like to ride around here, or more up north of here but the same still. Was talking with a friend who moved back East after a year or two outside of San Diego. they would NEVER ride out there, surf? yeah, MTB? yeah, Road? Never. But out here? sure. They run, not ride but when i was talking with them some of what Becca wrote about was bouncing around in the back of my head.

Sure, I'm 100% all about MTB now, but TBH we've been looking for and pick routes that hit as many dirt roads as we could here since, um, like 2006...  And now people are buying bikes specifically for that. Adventure bikes, gravel bikes, put a million bottles on a bike. 

The most remote and deserted ride I've done in RI was the Greasy Joe's Gravel ride this summer. That was BONKERS. The route might have been in the middle of Oregon, There was NOTHING, so unusual that I didn't take extra measures. I survived, I made it work. And I did pass plenty of places to re-fuel in the first and last 1/4 of the ride, it was just that middle 60 miles that seemed to be plotted to avoid any resupply locations. 

So yeah - it might have been better if I'd been on a Gravel bike and could have bolted two more waterbottles, had a frame back with more water or who knows what...  but a CX bike and two bottles worked. Barely. 

Okay - lasers are cooled down, time to power them off and head home and think about dinner, and try not to eat everything before I make it.

heddwch
G

 over and over again expecting a different outcome.

Not really a mistake, perhaps misguided optimism?
Usually it involves food. Specifically not eating breakfast after a high calorie day and then packing a taco salad for lunch (no chips, just lettuce and the stuff) and not even the biggest one...  and then giving in and eating it at 10:45..

It isn't even noon and I'm hungry again.

How many times have I gone through this over the years. I leave home, thinking, yeah this will be enough, sure. It is morning, still just waking up, coffee...  ride bike to work, get working on stuff, get hungry. Really hungry...  And then what.

And now what? Go buy a second lunch? Drink coffee and water until I get everything done and can go home?

have NOT been sleeping well lately, but I rode both Saturday and Sunday, meant I was late getting to the shop both days but the shipment of bikes that was supposed to come in on Friday didn't and well, it will be a light week, even still should cover the fuel costs of driving the big ditch pig for a month or at least two weeks. Didn't make phone calls, I listened to a book. Reading a trashy scifi right now, I like these pulp ones, main characters get in trouble, hopelessly so, but always pull through and only occasional core characters get killed. simple. but watching all the key ones do their stuff in Red Mars and then get killed kind of sucked. Even though John gets killed right out the bat in the first chapter before you even get to know anyone. 

Felt really good on the MTB on sunday tho. Couldn't quite keep up with Syl and his brother, but since I out weigh them by a million pounds, don't addictively zwift and am not on a bazillion dollar feather weight carbon full suspension with gears... I'm pretty okay with that. Got a PR right out the gun, riding with ABS we left the lot and I just ramped it up on Bottles and let it rip. Not fast for others maybe but I got a PR and felt really good. 

We cranked and chased and had fun and rode and joined up with Syl and his brother and rode some more and just as we hit Watch out for Trucks it started sprinkling, slowly got heavier until it was full on raining back at the car. And that was kind of perfect.

Took a nice outdoor shower in the rain. Keeping the dry stuff dry was a bit of a challenge but it worked. 

Rinsed off the bike, took up some slack in the chain, adj the rear caliper slightly in the new position, adjusted and overhauled the pedals and replaced the screw with Capezio's help (he found a screw and some locktite - three other of the screws were loose!).

Looked at grips... the Oury's are getting beat up and worn out, 1000+ miles in less than a year on a MTB ridding exclusively on New England trails, not sure if I like any of the others out there and no, not doing Ergon's yet... I'm not that old. And Most DEF not going with those ESIs I do NOT like the foam... 

But I do like riding the bike.

On Saturday another thesis developed in my head. About riding technical trails and how it is similar to playing a complicated piece on the Violin. Now there are amazingly talented people who can sight read the most difficult music and make you think they've been playing it for years. Same as there are some riders who can be dropped into an incredibly technical trail they've never seen and ride it perfectly and cleanly the first time.

Those people are special and not normal. Most of us have to work hard at what they do easily. That's the cool part about humanity. Hopefully you find that thing you're best at and make look easy and at the same time enjoy it. even better if you can get paid doing it.

So if you've played music, had music lessons, at some point in your life you probably can have a good idea where this is going. And part of me thinks I should pull it out into a separate post.

I think I will. You may see these words again, sorry about that. 

in the mean time: https://www.bikemag.com/features/opinion/the-grimy-handshake/the-grimy-handshake-hand-in-glove/

They actually have MTB magazines at the shop, actual paper magazines. And for the first time in longer than i care to admit, i read the Grimy Handshake Column actually in Bike mag.

(I am getting hungrier - this whole distract while remote supporting and resolving other issues by writing and drinking coffee IS NOT WORKING). Lets see if i can keep pushing it past the meeting this afternoon and then until i get home. 

def need to resupply snack stash in the office - although that's a stash that lasts a day if I'm lucky, it is just extra food to eat, unless I hide it from myself. 

Maybe I need to go get a snack...

or not...

heddwch

G

 I was supposed to have the day off. Covid 19 staff appreciation day.

Guess who never saw the notice or heard about it before yesterday off hand and then couldn't find anything about it anywhere when I looked yesterday. Only to be asked today "why are you here?"

TT last night? 

Yeah. It went okay. Winds were not favorable, and I ate lunch late. Again. Burping and farting the whole time. Not only did I eat too late I ate a lot (I packed a big lunch, i was hungry in the morning).

The 180s were good. Def felt better with them. Could feel more glute actuation. Did they make me go faster? I dunno. But I feel 100% better this morning.

I had all the intentions of a good multi-threaded blog post about music, masks, bad science, crank length...

wrapping in that i finally finished Red Mars...

2009.. that's how long I fucked my potential and made my life painful with short cranks. Maybe not that much potential but certainly would have made a big difference. 

Butterfly effect. Maybe if I hadn't made that bad choice in '09 my 40th would have been better and on and on...  but then well maybe i wouldn't have really turned the corner into a full on never sober alcoholic and then wouldn't have been sober now. Granted it took getting sober, then riding a shorter crank bike and then having the clarity of mind to try something once all the carbon cranks broke that resolved it. And then tested it further to determine that indeed 177.5 and shorter length cranks cause me serious chronic pain if i ride them hard more than once in a while. Anyone wanna buy a 58cm Crossrip+? It has 175mm cranks on it.

As they always remind me: "The choices you make"

They are made and you move on with them.

Life.

I'm gonna do a walk around and get outa here. Maybe take an internet light vacation. I've got a new book to read, one book to listen to, and I need to gather some cool samples to look at. Got a colab in the works that need some cool looking confocal images... color and movies and stuff...

I'm bad at this writing thing today - i did figure out the twitter thread thing though. https://twitter.com/Ge_Willi/status/1294285264089743360 

was about ready to wrap up - phone needs a few more electrons before we wander home, never know when I'll need them to capture photons...  haven't felt visually inspired lately either come to think of it.
one of those big ruts eh? still...

but hey waddawedo? one foot in front of the other...  lean into it... 

life

amor fati motherfucker

heddwch

G

 and the medium is too big for the kid...  

we'll maybe try again tomorrow on the trails, we'll see if that goes better. 

can't shake it ...

odd.

working on twitter vacation - but i keep checking in...

am getting really tired of pointing out that the paper that everyone is mediaweaponizing against the buff is pretty damn flawed. 

really tired...  OMG IT IS WORSE THAN NOT WEARING ONE AT ALL. 

sigh... no

tired

caught in the too much coffee poor sleep routine but then add more coffee because i'm needing to be functional and endless loop. need a full day off or two to break the cycle.

not this week.

i don't need to doomscroll to be sad - IG used to help boost the spirits, lately it is kind of like treading water...  

amor fati motherfuckers

heddwch

G

 The weekend didn't go much better. Friday night was off, saturday i woke up and my back was saying MTB TIME I NEED TO REPAIR/REALIGN, but my legs and the rest of me were tired from the week, no off days. But putting bikes together kept the lock up at bay.

Sunday was early Dirt Church. we went out and got 15-16 miles in, tight twisty a bit technical fun. I woke up with enough time to make coffee and pack up for the day but not enough to get any food in me. So I rode the whole time on only a couple bottles of skratch labs mix. 

It was good. Bike was solid, I'm not hitting pedals or cranks much anymore, whacked a pedal once, unavoidably but managed to ratchet and keep it clean and smooth. Downhill felt awesome, flowly and good. Uphill, well on the singlespeed there is no choice, one speed....  but the flats and tired uphill sections I was def low on the power. Like a V8 that dropped a whole bank. Not running smoothly. But kept going. Def feeling solid on the bike, handling and all that wise. There's a few sections i keep messing up, Sunday esp because i was just a slight bit slower and slightly underpowered. Missing some torque and missing some watts. I think it is more than just the missing breakfast.

Not a very productive day at the shop, but I am really digging the post ride outdoor shower before work there. And i've got a demo bike for the kid for the week. Gonna have to plan a ride or two some time this week. First maybe very local then maybe head out and do the basic warm up trails at BR. Def no Fosters Folly. I still haven't quite managed to get the one uphill rock section clean on the Singlespeed. Was hitting it clean with gears most of the time but the one cog makes this one particularly tricky. 

That uphill tech is kind of the one challenge, gear down so it is easier/most possible and then you're spinning your brains out everywhere else. I'll take the challenge knowing it is possible because i keep ALMOST making it work, at some point I'll get it. It is good to have some sections to keep one humble and focused and sharp. 

I suppose though that once it all becomes easy then it is time to go faster. Hmmm.

Still having fun? Yes, fuck it that's all that matters. 

Listened to a couple more of the LMB Vorkosigan series books. Been trying really hard to get through Red Mars but... it... just... is... so... slow...to...read... partly i'm tired, partly it is boring, maybe I'm more tired than bored, dunno. But kind of feel an obligation to get through it. 

Funny - as bad as I felt I still got a pile of PRs at the END of the ride. Smooth is fast perhaps?

swoopy - i was thinking just how much I liked the turning as i do the gnar and technical stuff... (had to go back and check a flyby and then noticed the PRs).

Sat night after bike shopping I did some crank swapping on my bikes...  moved shit around... put some 180 GXP Rival cranks (should have gotten those in the first place) onto the Black Blue, seriously - why didn't I just go with those then. Sigh. But to do that I needed the BB that was on the Beer truck and so to do that I needed to take the crank and BB that were on the Beer truck out of the bent frame GT that I pulled out of the dumpster (before I realized it was bent). So once the beer truck was good I took the old DA 7401 cranks off the Black blue and that BB out of there. Then got the GXP stuff sorted out - took the single ring Raceface narrow wide and put it on that crank. Next up was the Paramount, took the Mavic cranks off there - took that bottom bracket out (UN71 - super smooth) put the bottom bracket in that from the black blue (a nice sugino - spins effortlessly smoothly for a long time). I had a set of new 53/39 rings, took the chainring bolts off the busted RED cranks and put the rings on the 7401. Downside? The rings are 10sp bike is 8sp. Means the 39 is no good in the smallest 3 cogs in the back. Rubs on the big ring. Other than that it shifts great. The 7401 moved the rings out a couple mm, had to tweak the front Der slightly, but seems to be working. 180s on the Paramount. The black rings don't look quite right but hey I managed to improve the situation without decommissioning any bikes.

Although - now I want to ride the black blue with the new crank, not sure when tho. Maybe this week, maybe end of week, i dunno.

Time moves on - got a demo bike for the oldest to try some MTB - might plan a morning or two this week. We'll see. 

Meeting time

heddwch

G

 more like tripping a breaker...

seemingly effortless to turn it off -lot more work/impossible to turn back on

was chugging along pretty well today - then poof - click

damnit

Yesterday's TT was good. Not great. The road surface is slow but I gave it everything, I don't think I could have put much more out there than I did. The wind wasn't favorable and the new road surface is slow.

As soon as you transition from the new stuff to the old it is like someone letting go - feels faster... 

20:30 - riding back it took a while to get the legs under me but then Burke and I lit it up a few times and it felt good. We talked about the old days and good rides. The talk was positive, fond recollections....  not negative. Was nice.

Came back through the office to pick up the backpack, and wow, Thayer was busy - like 2019 on a perfect summer day busy. The only reason you might suspect there was a pandemic was the handful of people wearing a mask, and all the Uber drivers sitting in their idling cars with the windows down and a mask hanging from their ear. It was packed. The sidewalks by the restaurants were full add to the wall to wall cars and people and there's no space for everyone to be safe. 

No wonder everything is so f'd.

hopefully i can get everything reset. Have been in an odd and good mood for like a week+ now...  sigh.

amor fati motherfuckers

the slight headache isn't helping

maybe i need more coffee (i don't but fuck it, it is all i have left)

And even then I've been toying with the idea of backing off to no coffee...  maybe I'll save that project for 2021 24HOGG - no point wasting the benefit before then...  

alright - maybe i'll just head out and sit on the rocks on the shore for a few minutes instead of staring at the monitors and trying to figure out the solutions to the problems sitting here...

heddwch

G