Alex's Blog

A friend once told me that it’s impossible to move on after a break-up until you get into a relationship with someone else in order to gain some closure. I don’t really agree with this because if I need to get together with someone in order to feel better about myself after a previous relationship, what does that make me? I’d never get into a relationship with someone just to forget about another, nobody deserves to be used like that. It never hurts quite as bad as finding out that someone has used you, for any reasons, so yes don’t put that on me.

Do you ever get the feeling that things are just that little bit greener on the other side of the fence? Well until lately I’ve never really felt that as life in the neighborhood has been really kind to me. It still is, but somehow it now feels lacking. Being away from the country has set some things into focus, and well I’ve found that the grass is greener on the other side, in Spring anyway. So when I come back, i won’t be the same guy as I was when I left. Its always been worth it to be the one to fall on, but it’s reached the point where I’ve learnt to look after myself first.

There is this girl I can’t get out of my mind, she has become somewhat of a permanent fixture for when I think about who I would like to see in a romantic sense. I have tried pursuing others but when it comes down to it I cannot really see myself going out with any of them with the same honesty as I seem to do with her.

The thing is that I am pretty sure I’ve made a mess of things and that my chances of ‘getting the girl’ have gone up in smoke. It’s bittersweet cos she knocks me off my feet I do not want anyone else, but I guess it is pointless chasing someone who does not feel the same way about me.

Let’s just get this straight,

It’s sucky that fate,

Decided the girl I date,

Isn’t going to be my best mate.

The other girls around don’t compare

I’m being led into despair

My greatest mistake was falling in love

With the girl I could never have.

Looking forwards looking back,
There’s nothing I cannot see,
But for those who are alongside me,
Of them I am lost at sea.

It is hard to let it go,
This feeling inside,
That threatens to gnaw away,
Till nothing is left of me.

I’ve spent a long time planning out how things will go, and how things have actually turned out to be that now, when it is actually happening all around me, I’m at a loss at what to do.

There are people in my life who care for me I know this to be true, but the one who I thought always would, I guess it won’t be so. It’s hard to get a notice and when I do it is not to be a whole notice. You know that feeling inside of you when you’re aiming for something that you’re very unlikely to get? I’ve got that feeling inside of me, though I guess I should have known it’d be like this.

I don’t feel like getting off my bed,
There’s a shadow hanging over my head,
And it’s in the form that I least suspected,
Guess there really wasn’t anything between you and I.

Looking too far into things that concerned us,
I guess I went too far with what I thought,
But while it went on I felt the embers of happiness,
While now I just wonder if it was worth anything at all.

I’m giving up, let’s just let it go

I’ve learnt my lesson, I’m just moving on

Hahaha ruddy annoying clouds overhead, just rain or go away

You know how when you wake up in the morning and for an entire day everything just seems to scream out to you that things are good in the world? I got one of those today, and well it is awesome and I don’t want it to end just yet. Hopefully tonight keeps the dream alive 😀

Some things I have to get done in the next week, set a date for my visa interview, buy some things for a multi continental wedding, and have a great time with the people here, don’t you think that’s grand? 😉

Oh, and do some moonlighting as well 😀

How do you know when to be quiet?
When do you have to speak up?
Maybe it’s how you say things,
Or maybe it’s the things that you say?

I can’t seem to know how to talk about things with the people that matter, for the stuff that is important, well at least to me. I say things that sound random, but honestly I can say that whatever I say I do try to remember because well it’s just not that random.

Popping a question and fearing the answer so much that not hearing it is somewhat relaxing is such a pathetic life.

Sleepiness brings out the weirdest actions, I just booked tickets for a plane ride…

Finding alternative plans is always a pain to arrange, but when they come together, it’s an indescribable feeling cos it proves that I have people around me who can make the time for me, thanks guys, you’re rockstars. From now on I’m just doing things with people who want me along with them, it’s time to let go of the rest, you’re not worth it anymore.

It’s time to be a taker for once instead of a giver. When is someone going to encourage me? No more will I be the one to comfort those who just use me, it’s up to you now. If you want to be friends, then be sure to act like it more. Peace