On the Rez...

at first i felt kind of freaked out by being back, but i'm already used to my familiar life here in bloomington. i've been spending lots of days playing with kids of all ages and i'm loving it! summer is fantastic.

still in missouri, after the bike almost flew off of the car because of intense winds, I rode the rest of the way home with a tire in my lap.

Well, I'm back. After 27 hours of driving (5 of during which I held a bike tire in my lap) it is wonderful to be on my feet again. It was a real shock to arrive in Bloomington, though. This place feels crowded and busy compared to the peacefulness of the rez. I think it will take me a while to get used to this new but familiar place. It's amazing how foreign it seems to me. This is supposed to be my home, where I feel most comfortable, but I now realize that I got very used to my life at T'iis. It was my home for a very significant part of my life and now I must adjust to living in Bloomington again. But I know that the most important thing that I must try to do now that I am back home with responsibilities and commitments and obligations, is to stay at peace. Already upon arriving home I feel the weight that I left behind. Out there in T'iis I was able to stay calm--I was able to reflect on things more. But now I am back to a world where I'm used to doing too many things. My goal now is to apply what I learned out there about staying centered without rushing around to my life here. I must give myself time to breathe, to sit, to dance around when I feel like it, and not get too busy. I must give myself time to just be me!

So this concludes the end of a wonderful journey. (Don't ask me how I will be able to sum it all up in 30 minutes!) Hakoone',

-"Little Miss Katie"

It's incredibly difficult to think about leaving here. There are only a few days left here and I just want to hang on. I know I have to leave and I know that there are wonderful people and things awaiting me at home, but I do not want to leave this place. I have been able to really be in touch with nature here. I have been able to touch people's lives and be touched every day. I have made friendships and I have had experiences that I will leave behind in only a matter of days. I just want to hold on. I don't want things to change--not yet. Because I know, that even if I come back someday (which I know I will), things will not be the same here. People change or move away, situations will be different, and I will never have this same experience again.
It's funny how when something is about to be taken away from you, you start to see only the positive things about it.
Here's just a few things that I will miss about being here:
making music with families

the wind

sheep, sheep, everywhere sheep.

my quiet place.

their smiles.

the changing sky

and the vast openness, full of opportunity.

I will miss all of the dorm kids and our silly times!

and all of the children who have taught me so many things.

Here is Mrs. Fransico's 2nd grade class performing "There Was An Old Lady Who Swallowed A Fly". I was very impressed with some of the homemade outfits!


It's over! The Spring Program is over! And the good news is...it was a huge success! For the past 3 months I have been thinking/worrying about the Spring Program and it feels great to have that behind me. I had many questions in my mind such as, "How are the kids going to learn the songs? What songs will they sing? When will they practice? How is this going to happen???" It has been a heaviness in the back of my mind until two weeks ago. By that point, almost every class had something that they were working on. It was a matter of practicing enough to make it good and making costumes. It was a HUGE relief to be planning the nitty gritty stuff, since before that it had been a question in my mind whether it would even happen.
But it did! And it was great. The kids had fun, they had fabulous homemade costumes of all sorts of animals, there was dancing, singing, acting, violin-playing, and the whole bit. After an insanely crazy and stressful day today of doing all of the "last minute details", I am finally at a peaceful state of mind where I can look back and say, "Wow. Look what we did!"
It feels good to have accomplished such a fun and meaningful task right before going home. Now, Monday will be our last music class and on Friday I will say good bye to everything and every one that I know here. My heart is already aching a bit, but I need to remember to take in everything for these last remaining days: The kids' smiles, hearing Ms. Katie! in the hallway, siging with the children, and breathing the crisp, clean air.
I will take it all in because these moments will pass and soon there will be new things to look forward to.

I played piano with Mr. Ekhart's 4th grade class who played the violins, sang, and danced, to "Raccoon & Possum."

Here is Deshna working on his dragon costume!

I am so worn out. My knees and feet are aching, my arms are sore, and eyes are drooping. My whole body wants to fall down and be caught by a pool of cool water. I want to keep sinking, down and down until I settle softly on the ocean floor. (Don't worry, in this water I can breathe). I want to sink comfortably into the sand so that it covers my body like a blanket. I will relax every part of my body and fall into a deep sleep.

So that's what I wish I were doing right now. That's what my body is praying for. But, instead I have children to attend to! Fliers to hang! PA systems to set up! Tomorrow we are doing a run-through of the entire Spring Program, so I don't have any time to stop yet. Only until tonight after dorm duty will I be able to relax.

I better get home soon. It's almost five and I need to make dinner before heading to the dorm at 5:30.

Today we had an eventful day. We had butchering and a sheep-shearing here at the school. The FACE Program (the preschool program I work in) sponsored/organized it, so I was busy helping out all day.

All the activities were outside in the hot, hot sun. I am not used to the sun like that. I think it sucked out all of my energy. That combined with all the walking, hauling, chopping, etc. makes me feel as if I never want to move again.

The good thing is: I am happy. Just now I finsihed a group of second graders make their dragon, cat, spider, bird, and horse costumes for program. Even though I was tired, it was energizing to be a part of such creative activity!

I must go now to make some dinner. Peace, katie.

Standing on top of the Mesa, looking in this direction one can see Monument Valley in the distance.

I am so behind on my blog. There has been so much going on! Last week was my first week back after a fabulous Spring Break with my dad. It was a shock last Sunday evening, though, to know that I had to jump back into things again. I realize how easily I can slip into vacation mode and not want to come back out to face the real world...

This past weekend was incredible. It makes me want to stay here longer so that I can have more weekends like this. On Friday evening, Courtney, Abigail, and I drove to Kayenta, a town about 1 hour west of here to get together with several other student teachers who have been teaching on the reservation. Kayenta is not far, but the lanscape is drastically different from T'iis. Unlike here, the rocks are deep red. The huge, red rock formations dominate the landscape and now that it is getting warmer, lime green shrubs are sprouting up everywhere. After a weekend in such a colorful environment, it was a shock to come home where the colors are bland, comparably. As we drove back into T'iis, I found my eyes searching for something more. The rocks here are a sandy-gray color and the only green comes from the dark evergreen trees that cover the mountains far away. It is beautiful here, but I realize now that I am happier around bolder colors that exist in Kayenta.


A piece of corn in hand, looking out from the ruins.


Exploring the ruins.

We spent Saturday hiking around in this "unkown" place (unkown to most non-navajos) that was yet another type of landscape. Only about 20 miles from Kayenta, it is sandy and beautiful with rock of all shades. Navigating through the rocks was like tring to find my way through a labryinth. As I scrambled around unsure of the correct direction, each rock and tree stood there proudly. They were laughing at me. They know that I am out of touch with nature and that that's why I have difficulty navigating. I am too accustomed to street signs and maps to give me the answer. But those who know the land, find their direction without it. They feel at home in natural places like the ones we explored on Saturday.
It was particularly exciting because we found some ancient ruins that are unkown to most people. There were still 1,200 year old corn and broken pieces of pottery scattered about.

That night we drove not far from there to Cedar Mesa at Moki Dugway. It was HUGE! We drove up and up and up and up until finally we reached the top. Once at the top, I had to keep reminding myself that we were on a Mesa because it was so huge that one can't easily see the drop offs on either side. We camped up there for the night. We sat around the fire, making smores to distract ourselves from the cold wind that crept under our sweatshirts.
It felt so wonderful to sleep outside on the rocks that night, to look at the stars, and to be so close with nature. I was in another world out there. When I woke up, I walked to the edge and looked out into the canyon. Looking down, I saw the San Juan river curling around like an endless snake. Then, at eye level were other Mesas and mountains. From where I stood I could see a 180 degree view and my eyes could reach to things hundreds of miles away. I have never seen so much at one time where the sky takes over everything.
Standing there made me realize what I will miss about this place after I am gone. I will miss the sky that reminds me each day how small I am. Sometimes, living in at home, where things are more crowded, it is easier to feel that my world is the only world. But that feeling escapes me here. I know that I am just one, tiny particle in a vast universe. But standing on that Mesa, with the sky engulfing everything, I couldn't help but feel strong. And that is what I thank this place for. I am grateful to be reminded that I am small, but also that I have strength.

To the left I could see all of Monument Valley, directly in fron of me stood the famous Navajo Mountain (one of the four sacred mountains to the Navajo), and then to my right were snow-covered peaks of Colorado. I took a deep breath. The air was so crisp and clean. My body felt great to have slept on the rocks the night before. I felt so alive on top of that Mesa. I wanted that moment to last forever.


A view of the mesa as we left.

So now I am back in school. I'm sitting in front of a flat-screened machine with flourescent lights permeating all space around me. If it weren't for the kids and the music, it would be hard to be here. I could do without the lights, and walls, and all that, but I can deal with it. What keeps me going are the kids and the music of life that we share together.
It's finally hitting me that I have less than a month to go until I return. Up until now I have been so eager to get home. I was thinking of things that I missed about home (trees, grass, familiar people, my bed) and things that I would look forward to doing when I return. But now, I am realizing that there's a lot I am going to leave behind here. I have grown into myself here. I have adapted to the people, the atmosphere,...everything! I have grown close with innumerable children and I realize now: After a month I may never see them again.

But, for now, I will strive to do as always: stay in the moment. I have a feeling it won't be hard to do that, seeing how there's only three weeks until our school's Spring Program and there's a lot of work to do. We need to get costumes, make sets, practice songs, and get the equipment necessary to put on our show. Speaking of shows, I need to get on with mine, now. It's nearing the time for class to start and I've got kids to learn with!

Wow, things have been out-of-the ordinary lately. I'm on my Spring Break and I am loving it! It is so nice to see some familiar faces and some not-so-familiar places!

May 16 & 17, Thursday and Friday: THE GRAND CANYON

It is utterly impossible to relay the experience of the Grand Canyon. It is furtherly utterly impossible to explain how it felt to suddenly be thrust out of my familiar, school environment into such a magnificent place with PEOPLE I KNOW! Monique, Matt, and I seemed to have picked the perfect--and it couldn't have been more perfect--time to visit this famous landmark. Snow speckled mountains, the most amazing sunset I've ever seen. Our experience was topped off with prickly pear cactus syrup and pancakes for breakfast. Here's a few pics...(click on the images to view them bigger!)

After ice-skating down the first part of the icy trail, it muddied up. The view all the way down was breath-taking. We couldn't help but stop again and again just to take it all in.
We were so lucky to be there right after a snow. The designs and colors formed by the snow on the mountains was incredible.
Not only was the huge, vastness of it all impressive, but looking up-close was an adventure in itself. We saw beautiful blue birds, huge black birds, deer (quite close-up), a big-horned mountain goat (just hanging out on a towering rock, thousands of feet above the canyon floor), amazing-colored rocks, and tons of interesting cacti and plants.

My dad arrived last Saturday and we have been having exciting adventures of our own. I will post some pictures when I have more time. Much love to every one! It's good to be here.