Siesta of Dreams

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i woke up with a realization today... you're not mine to hold anymore... your lovei s not meant to burn deeply within my heart... it all remains as only the sweetest memories in my life... the days when the sun shone so much more brighter, when darken days are washed by a crimson light... however, those days... are no longer part of today and the next... but still... i yearn... i beg and i pray forever for the day that you'll say you love me again... the day when you'll tell me you want me... i need you *sobs* ever so badly T_T

klaha - サヨナラ
Footsteps echoing to somewhere far from here
The words "good bye" coming from your mouth
"After this we can't go back..."
I felt that in my dreams

Countless days repeating
They certainly seemed important
I don't understand why even they have already become memories
Time is hurriedly passing far away

Wanting to see you, missing you, the more I think about you
Your warmth, your hurry, keeping you away
I won't forget those little gestures, and that voice
If those will become the proof that we lived

Footsteps echoing to somewhere far from here
The words "good bye" coming from your mouth...

If there was time for us to once again exchange just one word
The feelings I would want to show you...

I want to tell you thank you, from my heart
If I could have one wish, I would hold you and not want to part
But chasing you would become a vanishing illusion
The traces of long ago...

Wanting to see you, missing you, the more I think about you
Your warmth, your hurry, keeping you away
I won't forget those little gestures, and that voice
If those will become the proof that we lived

I'll wave my hand in the air forever...

i read this on my beloved's blog quite sometime ago... the ingridients that made her: "5 part intelligence, 1 part silliness, 5 parts leadership... stir together in a glass tumbler with a salted rim. add a little caring if desired"... it does resound quite truely... i dare not try my luck with my personality, although i'm sure it wont be far from the lines of: "10 part selfishness, 5 part inconsiderateness, 3 part jerk, 2 size-able scoops of uselessness... stir together and sprinkle with depression as necessarily" currently listening to a song by the smashing pumpkins called "crestfallen"

music/lyrics: billy corgan
who am I to need you when I'm down
where are you when I need you around
your life is not your own

and all I ask you
is for another chance
another way around you
to live by circumstance, once again

who am I to need you now
to ask you why to tell you no
to deserve your love and sympathy
you were never meant to belong to me

and you may go, but I know you won't leave
too many years built into memories
your life is not your own

who am I to need you now
to ask you why to tell you no
to deserve your love and sympathy
you were never meant to belong to me

who am I to you?
along the way
I lost my faith

and as you were, you'll be again
to mold like clay, to break like dirt
to tear me up in your sympathy
you were never meant to belong to me
you were never meant to belong to me
you were never meant to belong to me

who am I?

i dont blame anyone for the crap that i get into... but i just want a chance to try spreading my wings... i may not have a pair... and i may end up falling... but i'd rather have the scars to know i tried than to keep wondering how it's like to soar above.. i'm pretty sure not everyone is made for the same thing... if the point in life is just to make $, have kids and pass on... it's kinda sad isnt it... we're stepping on each others toes all for the sake of making $... call it material cravings or whatever, i somehow feel, i have another calling which needs me to heed it... i wonder if i'll dare to just strive for it 100%? guess i cant.. living a life.. sometimes, if you dont care for anyone else's feelings, you've to at least care for your loved ones and especially those that brought you up isnt it?


or maybe i just dont have the guts to drop everything and run towards the burning flame... (chinese blood at work... haha)

it's funny it seems that the only time i post, it's due to sadness...

i thought i would never be hurt, but it seems,
i can never stop these endless serenade of tears,
these warmth travelling down my cheeks,
embodies the only feeling left in my shell...

i love you.. maybe you dont.. maybe you dont care.. maybe you do.. but i still love you.. but for now, i still cant move on.. i still feel strongly for you, i still need you... until then, i'll be stuck in this memory...

周杰倫 - 安靜
"不用擔心的太,
我會一直好好過,
你已經遠遠離開,
我也會慢慢走開,
為什麼我連分開都遷就著你,
我真的沒有天份,
安靜的沒這麼快,
我會學著放棄你,
是因為我太愛你"

i come from California?? O_O i'm bananas???

My Personal Dna Report

dono what the keldai it saying la... so comprex... haiyo~

considering that the radio player/jukebox/watever cant work, i decided to post a recorded session of me playing around with my sister's piano... there's 4 parts to this recording;

1.) my rendition of the "mario theme song"
2.) something i wrote/played on the spot
3.) something i also wrote/played on the spot (errors and all~ lol)
4.) trying to play lee hom's "kiss goodbye" badly (there's actually a veryyyyyy veli veliiiii dark secret to that song! muahahahha)

that's all folks... if you want to laugh/mock/shoot etc..., you can point all the comments at this direction... cheerio~

yes, the title of today's post is the link above... and i want you all to visit it, take a good look, and tell me something about the picture.... something about it is soooooOooo stabbingly-to-the-eye-ingly wrong... now i'm not talking about the way those guys smile so happily while being closely bonded to each other... but i'm talking about the shirts... WHAT IS WITH THEM USING A SKIN-COLOURED BIT at the left-hand side of someone's chest and ADDING A BLACK DOT ON IT TO RESEMBLE something you'll see if there wasnt a cloth there?!??!? -_- or maybe it's just me and my overeactive brain... if that is so, then bugger off, the joke is not funny anymore... no, seriously, there's nothing else i have to say... what? a guy cant post something if it's a joke based on a friendster picture and i'm the only one that find it wrong/funny etc..?