so young, but so destroyed.
give me a break from the society, from education, from expectations, from judgments
my mum just asked me the most insensitive question of the year.
“aiyo, why do you have leg hairs!”
my gosh mum, how am i suppose to answer that question?
and you dont have them is probably because… 发育不良. zzz hahaha okay, buying veet tomorrow.
but well, that is hardly the point i am here today.
i’ve been pretty….out of it recently.
i dont know. out of it? or not that into it?
i realize that i loose interest in things easily.
interest in things and people.
but the irony is that,
i loose interest in those that i see everyday, those that are closer to me;
instead of those that are further away in comparison.
i’m more like “i dont give a damn” to people around me.
but an occasional mention or text from someone i havent been talking to AT ALL for months….. i’m more interested in them.
and friends are so hard to keep.
to me.
which is probably why you see me jumping around and mixing with everybody.
or should i say, use to. haha
since i’m only sticking to my clique now.
but no,
it’s not that the 5 other girls in my poly clique are not fun.
in fact they are very (and slightly too over) entertaining. xD
it’s probably just me.
maybe ’cause you stick to someone for long and you’d expect them to always be there ’cause you’re so used to their presence.
and then when they are not, you feel disappointed.
i am, and have always been, growing up with the mindset to be independent;
to be someone that doesn’t need anyone…that much.
which is why i get irritated when my brother gets people to do the slightest things for him.
why would you NOT do something that you can do it yourself? why do you have to trouble some one else to do it for you when you can do it yourself?
this is precisely why we’d get use to the presence of someone.
because they are helping us with tooo much stuffs.
and when we get use to their presence, we depend too much on them..
and forget that they wont be with us 24/7 forever.
But, on th other hand.
i’m envious of people that can open up easily to people.
’cause i cant.
i have NEVER confided in anyone.
I don’t share problems….. i rarely have problems though TBH. so there’s nothing to share HAHAHA.
but, even if there is a problem… i’ll just deal with it… like a mannnn xDD
and then one fine day someone decided to hop along and tell me
“you’re gonna die alone if this goes on”
HAHAHA. cracked me up.
but hey, what’s so bad about being independent!
at least i’m not a loner pppffft.
wellllll.
i guess this is all part of the growing up process~ heeheee
i’m more focus on the present.
i have people that are fun, people that i love around me.
that’s good enough, no?
even if they might not be there in the future, might not love me as much in the future. but there’s this period, right now.
it is, good enough.
lastly,
Happy Fathers’ Day.
ukissmesg’s lipdup last weekend for KKB.
not much for the sake of KKB, but more for the fun of hanging out with fun people.
it has been quite sometime i came on to this space.
no one ever comes here right now.
but its okay. in fact, it’s better.
life is being a bitch like always but i’m not here to whine.
even i get sick of my own whining and complaining, coz they make no difference.
it’s more like, just part of the process of getting things done.
bear with it.
i’ve actually resigned to fate that i will be giving YG a miss this july.
i will bear and learn to live with my guilt and regrets, like a baddest female. every other young lady.
coz life’s just this way,
people who dont deserve get’s what you think you deserve. but how do you know who deserves?
yet,all i need is a chance.
sounds pretty despo, but no.
it’s like how other people wanna meet people who inspire them.
i was hoping she would create a change in my life. yep, baddest female.
over dramatic, maybe.
but,i cant tell you what to think. it’s okay.
enough about this.
i will move on.
the General Election Fever is taking over Singapore.
i’m not really into it or politics so as to speak, but really.
this year’s is just wooohhoow
but it’d probably be safe to say that if i were to vote, it’d most probably be PAP.
Singaporeans complain about too many stuffs, but that does not give us a reason to forget about the things that PAP built up for us.
the opposition have been digging in and focusing too much on the mistakes and things that PAP are “not-good-enough” or “lacking-off”.
they get blamed for the flood in orchard but they did not get thanked for building up orchard.
you make a mistake and every good things you’ve done are non existent.
it’s like you drew a wonderful portrait of mona lisa but you dotted a mole on her face, everyone will be saying you ruined Da vinci’s masterpiece and you’re unworthy of drawing it.
but no one sees that you’ve manage to portray the emotions behind her eyes.
well, this is life.
you get a mole on your face, people don’t care how beautiful your eyes are anymore.
deal with it.
live with it.
go for plastic surgery.
it has been more than a month.
loads of stuffs happened, loads of people changed, loads of questions that you can never find an answer.
anyway,
“don’t deny our r²π”
i find this sentence really meaningful. it’s from Ukiss’s latest song.
got our heads cracking and wondering what is this math formula doing there.
so Gillian the Genius came up with this theory.
r²π ; the area of a circle.
In ancient Egypt, circle is a symbol for Eternity. Simply because it has no ends and no beginnings.
and in today’s context, it represents “Eternal Love”
so thus, Don’t deny our eternal love.
cool eh? new found respect for AJ. haha.
added to that, the title track: 0330.
again, 0= circle=eternity/eternal love
and if it’s split up, 03|30, flip it and read it as a mirror image, it’ll be:
080 ;
8 symbolizes new beginnings, and horizontally, it’s a symbol for “infinite/infinity”
besides, 3 represents wholeness, completion.
so all in all, wholesome eternal love to infinity?
it’s a theory, it might be just coincidental and we’re thinking too much into it.
but discovering these makes everything more interesting, no?
who knew they could be so creative haha.
밤새 너만 생각해 나는 잘 수 없어,
자꾸자꾸 니가 생각나,
내가 왜 이 순간 멈춰 있는데?
바보야 내가 필요한 건 바로 너야.
I keep thinking of you at night, I cannot sleep,
again and again, i keep thinking of you,
Why am I still stuck at this moment?
The one I need is you, silly.
and of coz；
don’t deny, our r²π
Happy CNY!
i’m in Malaysia right now and omg th angpow is……………………………………………………………………………………
hmm, economic crisis?
i thought th economic revived alr -.-
anw, i’d be flying back early morning tomorrow.
steamboat at night with the girls again! whoohoo.
and back to school -.-
@#%#&$%@ projects tests and exams all within this month .
tell me how th heck do i survive.
#301th post on 11.1.11
first week of 2011,
nothing really special,
except i spent loads of money online and i suffered the disappointment of;
not being able to buy 2ne1 ish clothes for CNY coz they wont reach in time
and，
the agnoy of giving up that pair of metallic base wedges coz it’s too high, or rather, i’m too tall .__.
oh by th way,
Cordy and i had out first every radio show on ustream today and we had 10 viewers!!
hahahaha it was the rubbiest radio show every i swear, coz we’re just bull shitting and not talking sense. LOL.
we’ll improve xD
school was filled with so much laughter today thanks to Mabel and the usual jokers.
we’re gonna all get asthma and 6pacs on out cheek if this goes on.
oh right, and th whole ukiss-in-US thing…
gotta say i’m not liking it.
not that i dont believe in them, but rather i believe in being realistic.
having said that, i shall not carry on whinning.
生命像一股激流,没有岩石和暗礁就激不起美丽的浪花. 如果你过分爱惜自己的羽毛，不使它受到一点伤害，
那你失去的将是两只翅膀，永远不能凌空飞翔.
但如果你的翅膀受伤了，我可以当你的翅膀。
人没有吃过苦，又怎么方为人上人？
alright i know i should be heading to bed seeing i have classes tomorrow….
but i’m waiting for something =X
내 마음 만은 집착이 아니야 .
pretty awesome i guess. let me review a bit….
– i got a new camera
– i got a new i pod touch
– i got invovled in so many camps
– got my nails did
– got back my original hair color
-learnt korean
things that happen every year;
– got hated (idk for sure but i’m sure some one hates me)
– offended some people (apologies, but i think i’ll still offend them again)
– go crazy
– drowned under piles of project
– fell out with some people ( i think it happened)
– brushed up y 3rd language (not korean, i meant SACARSM)
exceptional things that happened!
– got to meet new friends
although they are kinda mentally unstable.. but they brought joy into my life, like really. JOY. and entertainment. (but i think i entertained them more). Timeline now moves at a speed of light and when ukiss smiles (selcas) they all stop and stare for a while spazz for more than a while. (Y) our world is so small, made up of rainbow cucpakes and unicorns and we all troll on people LOL. and got caught by alexander IDK IFEEL SO SPOOKED OMG HE IS SCARY I SWEAR.\
YOU CUT ME OPEN AND I, KEEP TROLLIN, I KEEP KEEP TROLLIN IN LIFE. sorry, i’m really disgusted by their stupidity that th word stupidity is not enough to describe. not that i am VERY brilliant but yea, at least i am not THAT yknow… yeah…
and I GOT TO KNOW A PEDO TOO. omg horrible pedo that goes high and crazy with me. i think we click well. /winks/ but OH MY GOD HOW CAN I CLICK WELL WITH A PEDO! ewwwwwwwwwwww. HAHAHA ok i’m kidding. i had fun.
June was probably my best Birthday ever for 18 years. i got to see glorious Ukiss. and met my future husband i mean imaginary boyfriend I MEAN LEE KI SEOP. gorgeous sweet amazing baby. i swear i spent 160 bux out of the 170bux starring at him. GDI. feel so wasted. th other 6 cuties have to split my attention span worth of 10bux. I AM SORRY but i cant help it. HE FRIED MY BRAIN OK. now it’s so cheesy idek when did i become like that. srsly, FRIED CHEESE FRIES BRAINS ANYONE? they are twist and tangled ike twister fries ^^
oh yeah, and my GPA was as horrible as usual. <— random fact for every year, not that random anymore
ohh whatelse.. November was the PITS i’m sorry, althought i got Kibum’s signature, shook kiseop’s hand, and the first thing he got on stage was to wave at me… and wave so many times and kibum’s cleavage i mean ARMANI NECKLACE but still, OMG WHAT IS THIS. IT SUCK. TTM. shall not go on. those who are interested alr knew what went wrong, those who dont, i doubt you’re interested. /winks/
December. probably my BEST Christmas so far. i’ve never really celebrate christmas and dotn really celebrate it but i had a taste of it’s awesomenees. thanks to ukissmesg girls. Cordy especially, thanks for the invitation. i had hell heaven loads of fun. and Chirstmas cards! thanks girls. CORDY I HAVENT RECEIVED YOURS X.X” i love them, hahaha i’m sorry you didnt receive anything from me COZ I FAIL AT DIY OMG.
i have gold fish memory and i only remember things that are worth remembering. so much tears (coz KS is too beautiful it makes me wanna cry) and laughter but either way, I apologise to all of you for my mistakes that causes any unhappiness and, i love you too all of you who love me. for those who hate me, so be it. it wont make you more loveable TROL LOL LOL LOL I KEEP TROLLIN KEEP KEEP TROLLIN IN LIFE
#NewYearWish for 2011:KS to learn english #NewYearWish for 2012, KS to marry me ^^ I WAS KIDDING OK, i’m not some delusional fangirl but omg haha everybody is liking my status above. /secretly happy/ LOL
i dont have resolutions coz, they are redundant if they are not fulfilled. all i wanna say is.
be yourself. you can be better, but dont change who you are. just keep it real.
just do what you want and say what you feel,
for people who mind, dont matter and people who matter dont mind.
have a good day everyone! hope your 2011 will be better! more excitements to come!
so here are the pictures….
Cordelia’s house on Christmas;
with jeanette
with liqing
with pedo sue
Shirly!
yolanda the stalker
then went Holland V for dinner the next night;
my super belated bday present ^^ thanks ❤
with christianna and matilda
with matilda!
group picture and then we had…..
frolick! ^^
i think th thingy behind me looks like a mango?
here’s with shurou and lihua~
weehee! ate so much recently omg. fat die me
Cries of Reality 