Ryan and Kristy

I haven't made the time to blog for a year. Life has been busy. Yesterday I came across something that compelled me to write today. I was on Facebook and a particular link was being shared by many of my friends.  The link was to an event titled "Wear Pants to Church on Sunday". I was intrigued. What was all of this buzz about? So I clicked on the link and read what was essentially a protest. A protest against the inequality of women and men in the Church of Jesus of Latter Day Saints.

First of all I just want to say that Sacrament Meeting is not the place for a protest. Neither are any of the other Sunday meetings. It is a time to worship God, renew our covenants with Him and gain further knowledge of the gospel. Nobody cares what you wear to church. In our ward in Ohio, people came to church in scrubs, jeans, and yes more that one woman was wearing a pant suit. At least they were there for the right reasons.

I believe the reason some women feel that there is inequality in this church is because we can not hold the priesthood and therefore can't be bishops, stake presidents or even the prophet. Also, there are some who think the role of women that the church teaches is outdated and oppressive, i.e. being the homemaker and having the sole responsibility of rearing their children. And wearing a skirt to church of all things.

I feel very sad for these women. They do not understand the teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. I'm not saying I have a perfect knowledge of it myself. What I am saying is that I do understand Heavenly Father's plan for our roles as men and women.

I know my Father in Heaven loves me. He loves me as much as he loves His sons. He has said that all are alike to Him. I don't think this means that we all have the same responsibilities. We each, as men and women, have separate and equally important roles in life.

I'm also sad because these women are over looking the most wonderful thing we have been blessed with.  Women have the ability to grow a person in our bodies, give birth to that person and be that persons mother. That is one thing men are not able to do, nor will they ever be able to.

As stated in The Family: A Proclamation to the World, men hold the priesthood. They are the providers. They bless their families. They give their families the masculine love and protection women cannot provide. Women give birth. They are blessed with a soft heart and therefore are nurturing and giving. They rear their children. They give their families the feminine love and support men cannot provide.  The church is very specific about these roles for a reason. Heavenly Father has planned it this way. He knows all things. I know he speaks directly to our prophet and this is what the prophet has told us we must do. Whoever thinks otherwise does not have a testimony of revelation. Or this gospel for that matter.  To that I say, you can absolutely find a church that better suits your needs. You have that choice.

Heavenly Father loves his daughters so very much. Of this I am certain. I feel equal with my husband in all things. We may have different responsibilities, but I have not now nor have I ever felt oppressed or looked down on by him or any of the men in my life. Quite the opposite. I feel lifted up and praised. I feel loved and appreciated. Those women who do feel oppressed and looked down on have certainly had some experience or another that has made them feel that way. That is not the work of the church. That is the work of individuals. Men are not perfect. Even bishops and stake presidents make mistakes.

Women in this church hold positions of leadership. They teach congregations. They go on missions. There are few churches in this world where that is the case.

I feel equally yoked with my husband. I am so thankful for this gospel and all that I have received from my Father in Heaven. I am so glad I get to be the one to bear children and nurture and rear them.

And I think pant suits are ugly.

P.S.
Elder D. Todd Christofferson of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles gave a wonderful talk similar to this topic. He warns against changing gender roles. Here is the link if you want to read it. 

This is Ryan. It has been a while since I've posted anything. For those who haven't seen me in a while you'll notice something different about me in the pictures below. For those who ask, "Why would anyone do that?", I respond... Mostly cause it keeps me entertained. However, in a more meaningful reason we are in the middle of Movember. For those of you who aren't familiar with Movember, you aren't alone. In my search for a reason to grow some crazy mustache I found this organization and asked the school's administration if we could participate, and we got the nod. The point of Movember is to shave October 31st and then let your mustache grow for the whole month. As people ask why you are growing a mustache you are able to raise awareness and hopefully some money for testicular and prostate cancer. Now, just to be clear, I had a head start... a 3 month head start, but I had dealt with this thing tickling my nose for too long to start over. :) Anyway, without further ado...


This was actually Halloween. I kept it like this for that whole week. I felt like I might be pushing the limit that the school would tolerate.
So I moved to this. About 9/10 people told me that I should get some wax, but I was way ahead of them. I'd get it all waxed up and it looked like a frigging longhorn.


So here it is today. I haven't trimmed my mustache since the beginning of August. By this time, Kristy is near the end of her patience with my goofiness and I am too. I know why they call mustaches soup strainers.


So now that I've done it, would I do it again? Probably will. It's been fun and my patients didn't seem to mind much. Some didn't even say anything. Mostly it was good for a chuckle throughout the day and kept me laughing and joking.

Last weekend, the 14th through the 15th, Ryan's Dad, uncle Kevin and cousins Parker and Kameron came to Cleveland. I was SOOOOO happy to have them here! It was a blast. They flew out to go to the Utah - Pittsburgh game with us. It was fun being the only girl! We took them to the B spot right when they got here. B spot is a gourmet hamburger place. I think Ryan is going to morn it when we move. We drove out to Pittsburgh in the morning, hit a major traffic jam and missed the first quarter. I was happy that that was all we missed. I was worried. Anywho, Pitt plays their games at Heinz field, where the Steelers play.

It lacked the college football feel, however. Nevertheless, it was awesome. Because we WON! 26 -14. Both teams didn't play very well, but hey, a win is a win. My favorite part was when the jumbo tron showed a guy in Pitt's student section with a MUSS t-shirt on, cheering on the Utes. :)

So I've had time to think since my last blog. Here's what I've come up with:

I didn't really need to think about it at all. I've known these things all along. I've read my journal. I've prayed and read the scriptures. After doing all of this, I've come to a firm conviction. Yes, I would still be bold in saying that I know this is the true church even if I was being tortured, even if everything I have and everyone I love was taken from me.

I know that what I've been taught is true. Yes, there have been times when I've wavered and doubted, but those doubts have been quickly washed away when I've prayed and remembered that it has been confirmed to me many times that I know my Savior lives. I know that He was born to a virgin and that He performed many miracles.I know that He suffered for the sins of all of us in the garden of Gethsemane. I know that He was resurrected and appeared to Mary, the apostles and also to the people in the early Americas. I know that God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to a fourteen year old boy named Joseph Smith to tell him that he was to restore the true church of Christ to the earth. I know that President Thomas S. Monson speaks directly to God.

I know that Heavenly Father hears my prayers. I know that when I obey Him, I am blessed with happiness and peace. I know that Christ is always with me. I know that He has already walked the path of my life. He knows what I'm feeling every second. I know that He loves me. I know that I can't comprehend how much He loves me. I know that He has saved me. He has made it possible for me to be with my Heavenly Father and those I love forever. I know that I can never repay Him.

I can say these things and stand up to the ridicule and slander that would be thrown at me because I know that they are true. I know that being ridiculed is only a small moment.

I know these things of myself. This knowledge isn't borrowed from my parents. This knowledge has been given to me from my Father in Heaven. I don't live my life this way because it's "comfortable". I live this way because I know this is what my Heavenly Father wants me to do.

I know these things, I don't just believe them. I would defend this knowledge with my life.

Oh, and I know that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri (hey it had to have been somewhere).

The musical, The Book of Mormon won nine whole awards! I was appalled when I heard that the producers of South Park (a show I’ve never seen and have no desire to see) made a musical making fun of something that is very dear and sacred to me. I was curious, so I read the plot. It’s about a missionary who serves in Africa and is confronted by an evil village war lord. I went on to read some reviews. It seems that it is a comedy and a vulgar one at that. It wasn't negative, just lots of vularity, which is why I won't ever be seeing the show.

So I was nervous when they performed a song from the musical at the Tony awards. This missionary sings about how he was excited to go on his mission but his faith was shaken because of the bad things that were happening to the village. He starts singing about the things he believes in and his faith is restored. It was funny and the missionary was spot on, right down to the part in his hair. He was bright eyed and cheerful and walked right up to the war lord and sang to him that he should get baptized, as the war lord stared at the missionary like he was crazy. In the song, it described the things that we as Mormons believe. As the beliefs were being listed, the audience was laughing. I found myself amused as well, not in a “I’m mocking my religion” sort of way, but in a "laughing at myself” sort of way. The things we believe are peculiar. For example, believing that the Garden of Eden was in Jackson County, Missouri. To someone who isn’t a member of this church, that would sound weird. Think about that; the Garden of Eden in Missouri? Weird, right? And yet, that is something I believe to be true. Just like I believe that Christ came to this earth to die for me. I believe that God the Father and Jesus Christ appeared to Joseph Smith in a grove of trees to tell him that he would be the one to bring the true gospel back to the earth. I believe that God speaks directly to President Thomas S. Monson so that we may know His will for us (by the way, the actor was singing about all of these things and the audience was laughing, a LOT). In the song he kept saying, “because a Mormon just believes”, as if we haven’t taken the time to find out for ourselves to know that these things are true, not JUST believe them.

I found myself thinking, yes these things seem odd and peculiar. Do I really know these things, or do I just believe them? I spent the rest of the evening in quiet introspection. What do I know to be true? Is what I have believed my entire life true? Would I be able to stand up to ridicule and slander? Would I be able to defend it? Would I be bold enough to proclaim that this is the one and only true church on the earth? And withstand the persecution that would follow? Would I still be bold if I was being tortured? Would I defend it with my life?

To Be Continued….

I really don't know how to write down what I'm feeling right now. I know it might sound like I'm whining, maybe I am, but I'm not handling this particular trial with any kind of grace. I don't like this trial. I really wish instead of Heavenly Father making it easier for me to bear, He would just take it away. I know it's for my own good and I will be thankful for it someday, but right now I feel like I've had enough. It's probably a good thing that I'm not the one in charge. Somedays, it is easy to bear. Somedays, I hardly even think about it. Hardly. Which means I do still but only for a few moments. Other days, I want to cry all day long. It feels like I've lost something so dear to me. Something I never had. It's deep emotional pain. I feel useless and empty.

I am doing all that our finances will allow, going to doctors, trying everything we can. I'm praying everyday. So it's not like I'm doing nothing and complaining about not getting what I most desire.

I hate that this pain comes in waves. It ebbs for a while. I feel like I can make it through anything. Then it returns with such a strong force that it catches me off guard. Then the questions come, as they always do. Why is this not happening for us, when it's something that's such a righteous desire? This is what I was put on the earth for, right? This is why I'm a woman. This is what has been commanded of us. So why is it so hard? Why do others have such an easy time at it? I know Heavenly Father has this all under control. I just get impatient and want to grab the big picture out of His hands and look at it for myself. I don't know what I would do then. Probably get even more impatient because I'll know what's coming.

I'm so happy, so very happy for friends who don't have this problem. I wouldn't wish this on anyone. It's so hard. But I can't wait for the day when I can join in their happy cries of "We're expecting!" I don't want to be misunderstood. I want my friends to tell me if they are expecting. It's such happy news that I love to be a part of. I don't want people to walk on egg shells around Ryan and I. This is just a trial that we've been chosen to go through.

And go through it we will. I know that there is a loving Father in Heaven who watches out for us. There is hope.

There are occasionally hard days for each of us. Do not despair. Do not give up. Look for the sunlight through the clouds. Opportunities will eventually open to you.
- President Gordon B. Hinkley