Well, Hey, I'm still here.  I was recently asked "why don't you still blog?" I've been asked more times than I care to admit. So I will share why,  I quit because people were losing perspective, things were becoming posed, and all I wanted to do was document memories so my babies and I would one day have them, unposed, unedited, life, whatever that is in todays world.  Also known as I'm not a scrapbooker, my first child has a million dollar baby book without a word, not even her name written in it but it does have a beautiful monogram on the front.  So man I needed my blog if I was going to be able to tell her anything about her younger years.  It worked for child number one, good gracious her every hour was documented. It worked a little bit for child number two, but I was so worried about child number one adjusting that I slacked off and she got a monthly update maybe.  And well, child number three is just happy to be here, we will just have to come up with good answers when she asks her first words, etc. because I don't remember much, and honestly its a miracle her first words were not really bad ones.  Another factor was, blogging for a living was also taking off and at the time that was just not on my radar.  So I quit, kind of.  I quit hitting publish, but I did not quit making drafts, thankfully.  So here I am in 2016, ten years from when I started; Carlton likes to say I do things before they become cool, haha its kind of true if you look back at things. I am back at it for now, not for a living, not for anything other than putting memories into words, and yes I love sharing my thoughts and doing life.  I love Jesus, I love people and I just want people to be happy doing what they do, whatever that is.  Not much to it, be happy, love big, love well, love others as yourself. Its not hard, and its biblical. Ok so it is hard sometimes, but its always biblical.

So kind of cool. I wrote this post in September of 2014, but I never published it. I have LOTS of those that will be popping up. But the funny thing is I could have written this last week. Good stuff in all seasons 2014 or 2016 whenever you need it.

Sometimes in life I feel like I do a lot of sets.  I guess I should say I am constantly redoing things I have already done 10 times. As a mom, I literally pick up the same toys, book, shoes, clothes, put things away walk from one end of the house to the other at least 500 times a day just to turn around and do it again because I never made it to the laundry room with those clothes I was taking to put in the washer.  That bow that is on the kitchen counter was suppose to go to the girls bathroom but instead I brought it to mine only to find two more that need to join the other 100 in the their bathroom. And the only reason I have to worry about bows is because I'm kind of funny and think they matter when really they don't in the grand scheme of things, but for some reason I'm always toting them around. Funny people want to know how I stay in shape, I think clock more miles in our house than a marathon walker/runner. Its not just me its any momma but this is just my take on things today.  Its Monday and as I walk through the house which I admit most people would call pretty tidy. I pick up bows, shoes, night gowns, and I deliver them to their respected places. I walk to my room where I am greeted by the Monday morning laundry pile that I am ALWAYS amazed is as large as it is EVERY Monday.  I negoiate with myself as to weather or not I should go get the other clothes out of the dryer and add them to the pile or if I should fold these and then go back for more. Always choosing to add to the pile and then conquer the whole thing.  I have learned that taking all the towels out first instantly feels better and it cuts the pile by 1/3, at least visually.  I make beds and find piles of books, which I have to smile at because it means they have been reading or at least searching for a few of their favorites. While yes I wish they would keep them in their neat stacks sorted by my favorites and theirs, soft backs, hard backs, and of course putting the ones I hope they will later share with their children on top. As I think for a moment of getting discouraged and wanting to drop my shoulders and feel like seriously this is what I am worth. I'm reminded this is what I asked for. This right here right now is what I asked God for and He gave it to me.  Not because I deserve it, not because I'm "qualified" for it but because its what He wanted for me, right here right now. So yes I have days of discouragment and days that I will not lie truly are not pretty. I have days, hours, minutes more often than I care to admit I do drop my shoulders and say "seriously."  Those are the moments that God tugs at my heart and tells me Jennie you've got this you are doing great and you are doing what I want you to do and Jennie-Marie you've got this.  And while its easy to have a pitty party right now, there are people all over this world that would give anything to have that pile of clothes, those beds, enough books to stock a library, and those babies man there are people yearning for babies. What you are doing is so important and its not for everyone, but right now it is for you. And I'm with you and I want to you find the same joy in this, that I find in you.

I have to laugh a little because I do like for things to be put away, somewhat.  As I walk in my room a little flustered that I can't seem to find any panties and convinced the washer might actually eat things afterall.  I turn and laugh as I see a bag from our beach trip two weeks ago that has yet to be unpacked. I reach down and I think, here everyones stuff is put away except, wait for it... Mine.  My bag has sat in the floor of my room unpacked for two weeks and you know those panties the dryer has eaten, well they are in it.  No one else would be able to get away with that in our family, yet I do.

You see my favorite verse is "Be joyful always pray continually give thanks in all circumstances for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. " Funny that I have been accused of being all lollipops and rainbows, and unicorns (don't forget those) but really if I live by this verse and claim it as my favorite well I guess I am just that.  Lollipops and rainbows and a whole lot of Jesus.  I had a minister once after asking me how I was doing, who said to me, "you are always good, how can you always be good." My response was, even when I'm not good I know there is someone else who is dealing with a lot more than I am, so I'm good. And the funny thing about that is while I have never had it bad, I've had my struggles.  By the grace of God my struggles have not been too major and they have made me who I am.  I would not change a thing (might like to change a few things) because they got me where I am and I am so thankful for who I am, more than anything I love how I am.  I like to say I am perfectly imperfect, and that is perfectly fine with me.

If you know me on a spiritual level you know there is not much I worry about. I truly believe God's got it and my worry only shows that I do not trust Him. I do know this could be a big discussion. Yes I doubt at times and I struggle with my human ways and human understanding that I cannot begin to grasp the knowledge of my heavenly father.  But for the most part in life I give it to Him,  I'm amazed by the number of people that are truly blown away by that.  I am blown away by people not understanding it. You see I am completely comfortable with the fact that I cannot and will not be able to do anything without relying on God. I am comforted by the fact that He does not want me to.  I don't think of it as weakness I don't think of is timid. I honestly think of it as being humble, and knowing I don't and will not have all the answers or all the ways, but He does.

What sets will you do today, and how will you look at them, as a blessing I hope because you got this, you are doing great things, even when they don't feel so great.