Blog... N aliens up at this hour. ;) I can't sleep. Or at least I've been keeping  myself awake, or maybe just by piecing things together. I just did badly for an online test. 42/100, who could beat that. I think I'm a mad biologist. Lol. Currently chatting with 4 people.
 
Hoping to help my brother get out of that unseen state he is in. Lifeline --- Edd. Be sad, but don't drown or suffocate in it. This phrase is easily said, not so sure about doing so.  

Friday, July 30, 2004

Funny how come people can actually exclaim their thoughts out loud. And I doubt they realised it. Lol. There was this lecturer who behind me in the super long queue for the shuttle bus to Ngee Ann. He actually scolded SBS idiotic and stupid and what had he... Wahaha. I peered at him when I was in my "energy-saving mode", couldn't care less. Haha. Anyway, I just figured out why he did that. Couz' he lectured too much that he lacked expressionism of thoughts. And as he lectures, he just speaks off his mind! Haha. My oh my...  
 
Today isn't that a good day. But the thing that made my day was seeing Jacq!!! I couldn't ask for more could I? =D Lovely girl... =D Great gypsy, great performance. Cheerio. Got a lot work off hand, and work can pop up anytime, couz' my school's computer savvy. But I love my friends, my 2 clones, my twin ever the same. Muakkk.

Hey have anyone ever wondered about something? Like, how much you yourself would give for someone? Or spared a heart to treasure people around you? I don't know man... Honestly, tonnes of emails regarding all these "treasure treasure, lovey dovey" flood our mail box right? (although I delete a big bunch of them ;) How come it's soooo hard to apply it? What if someone didn't live a day longer to let you know you cared for them? Where's the unfailing love needed? Be, a sucker for love. (I know this sounds harsh, but in other words, unconditional love =)  
 
Bless my night good You.  Bless my eyerings, they're just purple jurples. Lol.

As agent Andrew suspected that I swallowed a laughing box when I was a kid, I confirm it as of today 29/07/2004. Haha. And so did Pammy, Twinny, Ana. Or whoever who laughs with us. And omg! We laughed for hours. I think it was the "stress" from the ITA test. Lol!
Made to sit at the front desk and yet I could still laugh with them. (Sitting there was due to overcrowding, not my nottie-ness/noisi-ness). It was the second test of the day. And I actually wrote in my ans sheet that sperm was passed down from parents to offsprings. What crap!
Woah! Am I a great biologist or what? (that has no idea what she's writing at all times), physiologist (all organs and mosiacs look the same to me), chemist(that spills things all over) and computergirl (that brings a laptop with no batt to class).
Who could beat me? Lol! But i still love my life all the more! School life! Love life! And more than that, the people around me! And most... without saying. Haha.

If you ever injured yourself and thought it was bad,
and you asked: "why me?". Think again. It wasn't so bad afterall was it?
And even give thanks that you were fortunate enough not to break a limb.
 
If you ever broke a limb and though it was terrible,
and you asked: "why me again?". Give second thoughts. It wasn't so that bad right?
And even be happy that you didnt break two.
 
If you ever met with a "bad love."
and you asked: "why me?". Give thoughts to what you could learn. This wasn't a total waste of time right? And thank that a person as such has crossed your life and made you smile.
 
Too many "IFs" in the world but still...keep looking on the bright side, keep loving and keep thinking for others, keep thanking that you had your life to keep, love to give. =)

 

The 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud lady, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o'clock, with her hair fashionably coifed and makeup perfectly applied, even though she is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. Her husband of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary..
 
After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, she smiled sweetly when told her room was ready. As she maneuvered her walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of her tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on her window. "I love it," she stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Mrs.. Jones, you haven't seen the room .. just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," she replied. "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged..it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it "It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account you withdraw from what you've put in .. So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories. Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing. Remember these five simple rules to be happy:  
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

 
I can't really type people. So sorry. But read this anyways? I miss you all.. :)

God of wine, Crazy for this Girl

But let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No.' For whatever is more than these is from the evil one. (NKJV) Matt 5:37
(NKJV) James 5:12  
The title explains the verses pasted above. I've got alot to ferret out and change. =)  
  
My dearest always tells me not to say: "anything" or "dunno".  Her teachers have explained why not to also.
Because it's definate for me to have some opinion or what have I. Also gives a 'can't be bothered' to think attitude.
She's always wanting the better for me that is. =) I realised my first answer to most questions is a "dunno", then comes the part which I speak sense. 
 
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO... Blog and all my friends I wanna cry, I really wanna cry. My friend's very close friend is in a coma. =( An accident. Please pray she'll be more than fine. I don't know her but I'd love her all the same. Sighs, this couldn't be... I can't imagine this occuring to anyone. Keep treasuring the people around you, and this goes for myself as well. Dru's even grateful he woke up seeing the ceiling he sees every morning. Sounds platent but more than true... Pray please...

That adrenaline washed through me as my eyes scanned the Red Cross Home today.
The feeling was indescrible, somewhat sorry, full of pityboundless fear. Unable to empathize nor imagine myself as one of them. Impressionism.
Many a times I looked in the mirror with a sullen face and asked Him: "Why make me like that?"
I looked at these people and my heart went out to them. Brain damaged? Polio? Immature mind? Deformed bones? Spastic? Missing limbs? And that disability to express emotions (forgot what it's term name). Thank Him I have none but my miopic 2 eyes, good brain, knobbed nose, 2 hobbit ears, red lips,  short tongue, 4 proper limbs and all. Learnt to love myself and treasure myself.
These people are amazingly incredously simple and... simple! I saw that when Me and Ana was feeding one of the patient when I observed that. A scoop of porridge could make her overjoyed. To think lunch to me was just something I do everyday, stuffing food down my throat, a seemingly unimportant cycle. 
 
There's alot for me to learn and to love. And to show love. I'm grateful.

Realisation it is...
the Pride it is...
which More that is...
a Choice...
Belle's Choice.... 
 
a praise Him still :) 
 
eve told me something sweet yesterday:love is love when you don't want to love, but you can't.
 
 
 
 

 

Stolen.
Melted it down to the ground
time and again.

Left.
It cried.
It felt like there was no bouy.

Then.
It numbed.
Stone cold.

After.
It showed signs of life.
Not that whole again.

Now.
Almost.
Emotionless.
Knotted.

An ouch day! Monday: Volley and tennis. Tuesday: Canoe Polo.
lol! That's why I'm in this state.Haha. Really Ouch day! The sitting down part was the most painful! Haha. Muscles on my butt, thighs and calves cramp up when i do so! =P Haahaa. Don't! Don't be gloating =P. I went home 1 hour earlier, I was too much in pain! I just slept through all lessons.
The "highlight" of today (don't laugh either!): I told my friends about this guy which i thought was cute. And guess what! My friend happened to know him, so she asked him over, and the only "hunk" in my class stood up and let him sit beside me =< . And they asked me to intro myself to him. I didnt even look at him though, I'm mean.. But i guess i was too paiseh and it's really 'no face!' in that sense. About 10 of my friends were there to witness this dumb thing. Haha... Arghhh.
Bumped into ZW at the mrt and had a long 4 hour chat with him. Learnt and shared alot too!
And oh no! My old injuries are back, my dislocated right arm and my sprained lower back. *cries out loud*. Massage me someone! =PP But it's still a good day today! =D Didnt go watch meangirls though.

Hope school/work is going well for all of you! Take care! =D

1257hrs
Currently feeling: ditzy.
I hope wont regret the decision I just made. Kind of feeling lost now.But whatsoever, Your will be done.
Take away this heartache.

And now for the happy part of my day, just found my long lost friend! He's been out of contact since the day I left NYJC. Haha. And he's happily in dragon boating/canoeing now.

I would have given you all of my heart
but there's someone who's torn it apart
and she's taking almost all that I've got
but if you want, I'll try to love again
baby I'll try to love again but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest
'cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

I still want you by my side
just to help me dry the tears that I've cried
cause I'm sure gonna give you a try
and if you want, I'll try to love again
but baby, I'll try to love again, but I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

'Cause when it comes to being lucky she's cursed
when it comes to lovin' me she's worst
but when it comes to being loved she's first
that's how I know

The first cut is the deepest, baby I know
The first cut is the deepest

:) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

Now... That's crap! Haha. But still thank God.
Since friday I've been bothered about my studies a lil'. Weird... This hasn't happened since my first cry. I'd prolly worry about anything but studies. Finally getting serious! Yipee! But someone help me! Why I'm worrying:
1)The teacher completes one topic in one lecture.
2)When time is almost up, she just ignores all our qns and carry on.
3)She's also out tutorial teacher.
4)Organic chem's my worst.

But indefinately, she doesnt look like Mrs Woo(for those who know!). She's young and hiker looking :P

-Change of topic-

My dad's back from China and... He got a new singtel line and gave me the phone, I'll only use that line when he's away. Sometimes i miss him so much I dunno what to say. But he changed... But that's understandable because he living in a country where life's hard.

-Another change-

I'm over him. Finally.
You are still happy :)
That pouring lightwaves of memories that crash on me are few.

-Another change-

Everyone I know out there... Thanks for all yr support, hugs, kisses, help, care this while. =)
Really did help... Going for CCA tryouts the next 3 days and that would make me K.O. =D

Nope nope nope, it's not what you think! Don't laugh at that title. It's just for fun anyway. He's really good looking from 4metres away, dont want to get any closer though.
How come i find myself waiting for ur smses like I never did? Funny how come I'd feel this way although I'm quite busy.
Anyway, I hope no one thinks/feels like I don't have the time for them... couz' I'm too busy?? I'll make time, really =( . Like one of my bestie now used to think.It's eating into the time I spend with God also. Haha.
Had a nice time talking to Zhu today, her super cool and super funny character really cracks me up all over. Strolled in school, strolled in the rain for like almost an hour with her. Quite a horrible day, couz' I wasnt allowed to donate blood because I need my Mom's consent, not my brother's... It wasn't clearly stated anyway >_< . And Zhu's veins were too small! *rofl* She needs to wait a few years or so!
I don't have much to say today! Sorry! Couz' Im distracted by a growling tummy and my noisy house. Hawhaw. By the way! Jacq and Geok, I miss you all alot!

And... Clara...

I need some sleep,
Cant go on like this.
Try counting sheep,
but there's one i always miss.

Everyone says,
You've just got to let it go,
Just got to let it go,
You've just got to let it go.

I need some sleep,
Time to put the old horse down,
Im in too deep,
And the wheels keep spinnin' round.

Everyone says,
I'm getting down too low,
Everyone says,
You've just got to let it go
Just got to let it go,
You've just got to let it go.

Just got to let it go.
Just got to let it go..
Just got to let it go...

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're going to get. Bitter chocolate. I picked up a box of very bitter chocolate 4 months back - and I bit into it the day I got my posting results. Anw, the downline is that, I've swallowed it over the 3months, and digested it a week ago. The time I digested it was the time I got over it. I was depressed at that time. Didnt do anything, neither did I go to church.
At least I had quite a positive foresight about my poly life, and... tadah! It's great now! And everything's =D He brought me through all. If he didnt put me in a place I didnt like, I wouldnt be in poly... Due to my pride/ego. Somehow it was inbuilt in me, I admit. Friends! Keep reminding me on this point. I need to cling on to His finger ever so tightly, though it was a "down time" for me in a way. =)
Sweet. Enjoyed my day, collected O lvl cert with my cute sec sch friends! And the best part was i got to talked to someone I've been missing for like... 10 months? Someone I cried over oh so many times. At just the mention of that name. Awesome!!! Had dinner with gw, met up Jireh, langamed [I got topscore for SC! It was like the first time.. and of course a miracle!] =P . And dont laugh those people who've trashed me before... Hehehe.

Take care! You all turn in early, couz' another week of school is up and coming! Tag me your blog adds too pleaSe!

Kick it! Anyway at least I learnt something from my creativity lesson. About unleashing the right side of our brains, of course, besides glancing at the nerdy BUT cute guy in my class. Typical big eyes, messed-up hair, boys' school look kind of guy.
Anyways, I met Mister Yu Lang this morning! And I talked alot of course. Couz' I just learn Peililogy! She always say:"No choice what... Got to talk alot and no harm makin' new friends what..." She's super funny!!! But its logical. I tried that theory and it worked. But, that Lang said 90% of what i say is crap. Oh well.. hehehehe =P Dear friends, learn this to survive in out there!
Really really thank God that I have a nice click of friends! And today was out 1st outing to Orchard. We're all worn out these few days, still can't adjust to the 'scaling mountains' kind of life! =D shopped for girls' stuff! Bought a mng wallet, bought a turquoise you know what. ;) Fun fun!
And nicey Geok thought me how to use the tagboard thingy! So tag me friends! Muack! Must take care! I really hope things are well with you all!
Today's equation ---> Cr + Ap = Bell
Blog blog! Friends friends! I just recieved an sms from my friend. Im quite upset now, very worried about her. She always feels like fainting and the lack of breathe feeling. Please keep her save in Your arms Lord... Please. =< I used to be like that too, things are just a little better, the fact that i dont vomit after running. Like i used to... Sighs, this can't be. Not to the people I love at least. ='(

The <3s of my life

Fairlyn <3 Oh You're my Beautiful nightmare
Min <3 LOVEME(:
Jocelyn <3 JooJoo's Fantasy of Thoughts
Seow Siong <3 SCREAM!

girlwiththebroken(:

type here!

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