Monday, January 31, 2005
ookays. im wearing a skirt to school today. later going swimming with janice then I'll be meeting Jacqualine in the evening for dinner. I wonder where are my plans to study for IPC. studied for maths for 15 minutes and there was an induced sleepiness when I looked at the notes. waiting for the time to leave the house! metting pam at sembawang. wonder if I can wear shorts to school! for the stupid common test! = mightttt meet him tomorrow. he's having a match on wednesday so he'll be busy. I'm working on thursday and sunday night shifts. I wonder when school starts again! hmmm. yay, getting my pay tomorrow. sleepy again... i wonder how i'll fare for later. I wish I wasn't so lazy. blame that on the genes. aha.
yesterday really was... boring. I really didnt like going out with her couz she'd just complain her whole life to my dad, right from the day she was born to the education routes and to the physique. complaints. and it was more than 20 times which I heard the same old story. please stop wasting his money! even my dad could barely stand it. the minute she got off the car... well he said a bunch of angered words. she complains to him, he complains to me. so what... what do I do? it really ruined my day. the fact that there was a test the next day sucked big time.
guy, I miss you.
inperfection perfect in my eyes. you.
okie, i wont wave to anyone anymore. get dao-ed 3 times. and thats toopid siennie didnt see me once again. u idiot! see my ass! u still dare to say. bleahhhh. talked to him on the phone on my way home. yay! he really has alot of commitments and sometimes I'm worried I take up too much of his time. as much as I wanna talk to him or be with him I still got to think for him. :) it's us, not me, not him, it's both. well rugby, hapkido, family, school, work, me, friends. i also think he need far more sleep than me. hahaha. for me, it's school, work, work, family, dragon boat (maybe!), friends, him, guitar. dont know when I can see him again. best wishes for your test tmr guy. I will wait but the time to your tests won't wait. ;) haha. and it's okay if 14th u arent free. everyday vday!! yippeee.
talked alot with janice too today, swam 8 laps n now im dead tired! haha. pathetic stamina! janice! :D exam was alright I guess but the fan blew everywhere except me. zzz! the maths was weird. I wish there were no exams. I'm so bored of stoning at home. dont feel like studying either. think this week will be busy for me again except for tmr. be right back, gotta meet jacqy! yayyyyyy!
I met her already! yayyy! she's still so sweet can. sighhh i really miss the times you know... really miss so much. cant help the tears that gethered in my eyes even as I shopped for the baking stuff. she bought me a tube, a little bear, and earrings! and a post card! my gift to her was an oreo cake from angie the choice, bracelet and a postie! k nites! time to talk to dad. opps. he's busy. pork n me like romantic guys! but not mushy. we both read someone's blog. wahhhhhh he's so sweet lor. if anyone says all that to me i'll just melt and die. hahaha.
happy birthday chua michael benjamin!!! happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! happy birthday to michael, happy birthday to you! *screeches* rofl.
yesterday really was... boring. I really didnt like going out with her couz she'd just complain her whole life to my dad, right from the day she was born to the education routes and to the physique. complaints. and it was more than 20 times which I heard the same old story. please stop wasting his money! even my dad could barely stand it. the minute she got off the car... well he said a bunch of angered words. she complains to him, he complains to me. so what... what do I do? it really ruined my day. the fact that there was a test the next day sucked big time.
guy, I miss you.
inperfection perfect in my eyes. you.
okie, i wont wave to anyone anymore. get dao-ed 3 times. and thats toopid siennie didnt see me once again. u idiot! see my ass! u still dare to say. bleahhhh. talked to him on the phone on my way home. yay! he really has alot of commitments and sometimes I'm worried I take up too much of his time. as much as I wanna talk to him or be with him I still got to think for him. :) it's us, not me, not him, it's both. well rugby, hapkido, family, school, work, me, friends. i also think he need far more sleep than me. hahaha. for me, it's school, work, work, family, dragon boat (maybe!), friends, him, guitar. dont know when I can see him again. best wishes for your test tmr guy. I will wait but the time to your tests won't wait. ;) haha. and it's okay if 14th u arent free. everyday vday!! yippeee.
talked alot with janice too today, swam 8 laps n now im dead tired! haha. pathetic stamina! janice! :D exam was alright I guess but the fan blew everywhere except me. zzz! the maths was weird. I wish there were no exams. I'm so bored of stoning at home. dont feel like studying either. think this week will be busy for me again except for tmr. be right back, gotta meet jacqy! yayyyyyy!
I met her already! yayyy! she's still so sweet can. sighhh i really miss the times you know... really miss so much. cant help the tears that gethered in my eyes even as I shopped for the baking stuff. she bought me a tube, a little bear, and earrings! and a post card! my gift to her was an oreo cake from angie the choice, bracelet and a postie! k nites! time to talk to dad. opps. he's busy. pork n me like romantic guys! but not mushy. we both read someone's blog. wahhhhhh he's so sweet lor. if anyone says all that to me i'll just melt and die. hahaha.
happy birthday chua michael benjamin!!! happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! happy birthday to michael, happy birthday to you! *screeches* rofl.
girlwithabroken(: : 22:30
Sunday, January 30, 2005
stupid lar. guys so stupid. haha. stone them. poor you... next time he comes back please ignore him. he's taking it that your doors are always open. hmpph. stupid ass. I'm so bored at home but will be going out with my dad n sis shopping later. I havent studied. okay, i read 6 pages of inorganic and physical chemistry. thats all. i need to buy new shoes but I dont really have the mood to shop, lazy again. going to sleep now if there's time b4 i go outtie again. i slept at 6am yesterday and got up at 11+am. was talking to pradip and shaowei the last few moments b4 i felt asleep. I miss him again.
girlwithabroken(: : 14:26
my first words, love you guy.
heh. I've more effort couz mine's first words. ahaha. I just went out with my dad to lau pa sat to eat. saw our new mitsubishi lancer. drop by spinelli's in shorts. wa lau. shorts... saw the new three trainees. will be working on thursday night and sunday night.
I wonder why do I try so hard sometimes. maybe I'm just like that. why do i feel tired of doing the things that I used to do. why do I feel the unworth even though I'm doing them. why do I even bother when I'm tired. maybe I'll get sick of trying and giving. I need a getaway. not that I really want to think into things but I think things happens this way. I really wish I could be like liyana, non-chalent and cool. takes things easy and stuff. "switch off the phone lar, dont need to wait" kind of attitude. yeah that rocks. please restore my strength in all ways. I need it more than I used to do. good night world. I really hope I stop thinking too much. or can I stop thinking? I have to be ready if things happen. life isnt a bed of roses and I dont root for that sentence before. learning is painful. I cant tell the future but I wish to stop trying to foresee something I forsee.
I wish I was special, but I'm a creep.
never felt that I was good enough, am I really not?
flamenco.
what you give is what you get? true? false?
heh. I've more effort couz mine's first words. ahaha. I just went out with my dad to lau pa sat to eat. saw our new mitsubishi lancer. drop by spinelli's in shorts. wa lau. shorts... saw the new three trainees. will be working on thursday night and sunday night.
I wonder why do I try so hard sometimes. maybe I'm just like that. why do i feel tired of doing the things that I used to do. why do I feel the unworth even though I'm doing them. why do I even bother when I'm tired. maybe I'll get sick of trying and giving. I need a getaway. not that I really want to think into things but I think things happens this way. I really wish I could be like liyana, non-chalent and cool. takes things easy and stuff. "switch off the phone lar, dont need to wait" kind of attitude. yeah that rocks. please restore my strength in all ways. I need it more than I used to do. good night world. I really hope I stop thinking too much. or can I stop thinking? I have to be ready if things happen. life isnt a bed of roses and I dont root for that sentence before. learning is painful. I cant tell the future but I wish to stop trying to foresee something I forsee.
I wish I was special, but I'm a creep.
never felt that I was good enough, am I really not?
flamenco.
what you give is what you get? true? false?
girlwithabroken(: : 03:43
Friday, January 28, 2005
I cant wait for today to start! work, steamboat, him. so that time will pass quickly and well... then I can see my secondary school friends and wei! hehe. cant wait... I'm missing him very badly. wake up every morning to sms him at around 7am. arg. I've clocked 5 and a 1/2 hours doing the stuff for him and I'm barely 1/4 way. sighhhh. will be meeting my sec sch friends for steamboat at marina! my treat :D really miss those days. 4 years ago... ... ... anyway I was reading someone's blog for the past 40 minutes. and well... he's really so so nice and so faithful. I really wished he met someone nicer and better and sweeter and cuter. I mean, really did sound like he deserved someone better.
and oh, the thought of studying havent crossed my mind yet and I really havent touched anything. I'm packed the whole day for today and tomorrow. sunday to wednesday will be gloomsvilleee! :( I'll be seeing my dad tomorrow! I am SO happy! yay! I couldnt feel better. :D will be going swimming again on monday! I love work now! the people are great! so far I met 2 out of the 3 trainees. both of them are waiting for university. ben's from ngee ann and he's completed army! and fara's from AJC waiting for her results! yay! more people of my age. I worked till 4pm yesterday, 7am-4pm. working soon again in 2 hours! :) till 6!
SHAOWEI: one more time u scream into the phone I'll whack you. hahaha. Imma fierce okayy.. hee :p wednesday was embarassing enough! haha. next time I go see a match you shall go with me! muaha. ok!?
and oh, the thought of studying havent crossed my mind yet and I really havent touched anything. I'm packed the whole day for today and tomorrow. sunday to wednesday will be gloomsvilleee! :( I'll be seeing my dad tomorrow! I am SO happy! yay! I couldnt feel better. :D will be going swimming again on monday! I love work now! the people are great! so far I met 2 out of the 3 trainees. both of them are waiting for university. ben's from ngee ann and he's completed army! and fara's from AJC waiting for her results! yay! more people of my age. I worked till 4pm yesterday, 7am-4pm. working soon again in 2 hours! :) till 6!
SHAOWEI: one more time u scream into the phone I'll whack you. hahaha. Imma fierce okayy.. hee :p wednesday was embarassing enough! haha. next time I go see a match you shall go with me! muaha. ok!?
girlwithabroken(: : 07:47
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
underserving.
she was never good enough for anyone or anything.
undeserving her.
wallowed by her thoughts she was.
montonous continuing train of thoughts.
why??
she was never good enough for anyone or anything.
undeserving her.
wallowed by her thoughts she was.
montonous continuing train of thoughts.
why??
girlwithabroken(: : 22:48
went swimming again today. and the lifeguards recognised me and liyana. haha. it was fun but I didnt swim that much couz I was still aching from tuesday's work and monday's swim. played PS2 with her today! was so fun! ninja turtles 2. well, she likes donatello and leondardo and I like michaelangelo and rapheal. hahha. i dunno how to spell la! but I watched him play rugby today at nyjc. nyjc -_____-. it was weird at first couz the school was vacant leaving only the MI team and the TP team. hmm. well... cant believe they stood in a straight row and said "thank you ah wei's gf". goodness. so embarrasing! rugby's a scarily violent game. but i'd wanna play it! haha. one guy fell unconcious so they put an end to the match. woah if that ever happens to him i sure cry. lolol. work again tmr at 7am.
girlwithabroken(: : 20:15
Monday, January 24, 2005
I understand how he felt although I could almost never empathize.
his heart suck everytime he heard of what she wanted to do.
her constant rants. peeved him.
I felt I had to know more. I felt that I was his hope.
I wanted to be his joy. I wanted to bring him joy.
he heard how she does things like there was no tomorrow.
like the word treasure was never in her dictionary.
he's glad I could think the way she couldnt. alas he heaved. a sigh of relief.
- to dad.
his heart suck everytime he heard of what she wanted to do.
her constant rants. peeved him.
I felt I had to know more. I felt that I was his hope.
I wanted to be his joy. I wanted to bring him joy.
he heard how she does things like there was no tomorrow.
like the word treasure was never in her dictionary.
he's glad I could think the way she couldnt. alas he heaved. a sigh of relief.
- to dad.
girlwithabroken(: : 22:59
Saturday, January 22, 2005
the past 26 hours were well spent. got a classical guitar from janis at 1pm in the afternoon! and it's going to be time I started practicing the piece to play for oral com. Ethude in E Minor. havent been feeling that well these 3 days my back hurts again, always strain it during work esp. and woah, work was... alot, as in taxing and stuff. 2 hours non-stop there were ice blended drinks to be made. but it pretty much was a challenge to me. alicia from my s and w popped by. luckily I had the time to take her order and make the drink for her. sunkist twist! she works at wine lounge at millenia walk. burned a cd for spinelli's so that we could listen to it after work, better than the jazz nonsense.
met him and watched elecktra. uh how do you spell that? we got in just in time! we had the booking number but not the booker's IC or credit card number. got the info just in time! hmmm. ate dinner at plaza singapore and headed on home.
met him and watched elecktra. uh how do you spell that? we got in just in time! we had the booking number but not the booker's IC or credit card number. got the info just in time! hmmm. ate dinner at plaza singapore and headed on home.
girlwithabroken(: : 22:40
Friday, January 21, 2005
dory fish: love u girl. ure ever cute. haha. take care of urself
hedz: woah. so early. i reached work real late at 530pm. couz it jammed almost all the way there. arhh!! haha. muackzzz.
doro: u arh. haha. i tagged u back. dont lame! study hard lar. all the best. hugs!
edmumd: ohoh? thanks thanks. yup I read yours too. take care! enjoy this week. no ong li hui. rofL.
cassie: sweeeeeeeettttttttiiiiiiieeeeeee. I'll update you. haha. i know ur favourite topic. him. hehe. nah, anyway take care yup. dont stress out. enjoy your cip this saturday.
surfers: ure so cute wan. yay. compare whose more digusting. amazing~~ hugs k! take care of yourself. :D
geewee: love you. take care. sorry i didnt reply your sms. I was at work. by the time I reached home I was zzz. and I'm up so early in the morning, cant sleep, tummy ache. hugs you. take care ya.
eunice: okokokokokokok. take care yup? I'm miss eye bags again, not enough sleep yet can't sleep. see you soon on monday I guess? :D ting: thankie. girls still da best. haha. take care hoh.
wahh. finally this page can be loaded. havent been updating for 4 days. that's something new. haha. anyway, I couldnt sleep, I think couz I'm so concious that I got work later. sianjin and the bunch of them visited me at Spin's yesterday. was pretty weird at first couz all of them were guys. e girl he likes is weird couz she wants to see me. im nothing but a bargirl who makes drinks are spins hehe. :p mechanical engineering and aerospace. might go clubbing with them. with liyana's friends together too I think. but I'm on thursday morning shift. sucks to the core, why I dunno how to say NO again! argGG! they happen to know jonathan wesley yuhang yongliang huihua too. either same IS or same course. haha.
work was alright, I learnt how to close barista station! and I pulled shots for the whole tub. filled it to the brim. got home at 215am. bleah. I wanna go sentosa today but I cant. sikednu is going. or however u spell than johnnie.haha. finally meeting him later and I'm so sure the next hours will past in no time. due to the winding queue lengths for drinks and sandwiches and I'm going to spring clean my room. watching my brother or sth like that. yay. i really hope my type 1 wont get dirty during work. -_____-
guitar lesson yesterday was great too. at least teacher said there was an improvement in my fingerings and attitude. haha. woah I so love U2! such a nice band. especially their How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. hehe. going suntanning with janis, going out with bestie next week, meeting jacq this saturday. stupid microbiology test on monday. what a big spoiler. meeting aiting peili and esther on friday too. mmmm.
hedz: woah. so early. i reached work real late at 530pm. couz it jammed almost all the way there. arhh!! haha. muackzzz.
doro: u arh. haha. i tagged u back. dont lame! study hard lar. all the best. hugs!
edmumd: ohoh? thanks thanks. yup I read yours too. take care! enjoy this week. no ong li hui. rofL.
cassie: sweeeeeeeettttttttiiiiiiieeeeeee. I'll update you. haha. i know ur favourite topic. him. hehe. nah, anyway take care yup. dont stress out. enjoy your cip this saturday.
surfers: ure so cute wan. yay. compare whose more digusting. amazing~~ hugs k! take care of yourself. :D
geewee: love you. take care. sorry i didnt reply your sms. I was at work. by the time I reached home I was zzz. and I'm up so early in the morning, cant sleep, tummy ache. hugs you. take care ya.
eunice: okokokokokokok. take care yup? I'm miss eye bags again, not enough sleep yet can't sleep. see you soon on monday I guess? :D ting: thankie. girls still da best. haha. take care hoh.
wahh. finally this page can be loaded. havent been updating for 4 days. that's something new. haha. anyway, I couldnt sleep, I think couz I'm so concious that I got work later. sianjin and the bunch of them visited me at Spin's yesterday. was pretty weird at first couz all of them were guys. e girl he likes is weird couz she wants to see me. im nothing but a bargirl who makes drinks are spins hehe. :p mechanical engineering and aerospace. might go clubbing with them. with liyana's friends together too I think. but I'm on thursday morning shift. sucks to the core, why I dunno how to say NO again! argGG! they happen to know jonathan wesley yuhang yongliang huihua too. either same IS or same course. haha.
work was alright, I learnt how to close barista station! and I pulled shots for the whole tub. filled it to the brim. got home at 215am. bleah. I wanna go sentosa today but I cant. sikednu is going. or however u spell than johnnie.haha. finally meeting him later and I'm so sure the next hours will past in no time. due to the winding queue lengths for drinks and sandwiches and I'm going to spring clean my room. watching my brother or sth like that. yay. i really hope my type 1 wont get dirty during work. -_____-
guitar lesson yesterday was great too. at least teacher said there was an improvement in my fingerings and attitude. haha. woah I so love U2! such a nice band. especially their How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. hehe. going suntanning with janis, going out with bestie next week, meeting jacq this saturday. stupid microbiology test on monday. what a big spoiler. meeting aiting peili and esther on friday too. mmmm.
girlwithabroken(: : 08:52
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
yay! I'm home. tmr I'm on open house duty but I dont think I'll go anyway! meeting Tasha tomorrow. It's been a year and 2 months since I've known her... through Ashley's cellgrp and in SAJC as well. yay! she's in nyp right now. in life sciences like me too. coping great it seems. she's got to go back to school at 3pm so I'm meeting her in the morning at 930am. breakfast! heee. and youleong, he's so sweetish. he met me and pork at PS today just to teach us implicit differentiation. just for that 40minutes he came so far. a big thankew! and I'm really grateful! wished I could see him tomorrow, if cant also nevermind. I'll understand. haha.
I bought a Levi's today. type 1. wanted to get a pair for him... but so far I only like guy's engineered jeans... which was available only ages ago. porkie bought type 1 too. I didnt go to school today because I appeared for practical although there wasn't so we decided to head to town. spend the $20 spin bucks on our breakfast and rot away till we met youleong then she had to meet her friends. working 3 days next week and this friday too. 11-6pm. walau! the most crowded shift of all. hehe. I'm stupid, I lost my pencil box.!@#$%^&*((*&^%#@#$%^&*!))@()* 20 bucks worth of markers all goner. and I know why Im aching all over. I carried Pork's books for her... havent given her back.
I'd rather be truthful even though the truth hurts
lies grow to be plants with thorns that hurt all the more.
I bought a Levi's today. type 1. wanted to get a pair for him... but so far I only like guy's engineered jeans... which was available only ages ago. porkie bought type 1 too. I didnt go to school today because I appeared for practical although there wasn't so we decided to head to town. spend the $20 spin bucks on our breakfast and rot away till we met youleong then she had to meet her friends. working 3 days next week and this friday too. 11-6pm. walau! the most crowded shift of all. hehe. I'm stupid, I lost my pencil box.!@#$%^&*((*&^%#@#$%^&*!))@()* 20 bucks worth of markers all goner. and I know why Im aching all over. I carried Pork's books for her... havent given her back.
I'd rather be truthful even though the truth hurts
lies grow to be plants with thorns that hurt all the more.
girlwithabroken(: : 18:16
Monday, January 17, 2005
it sucks. really does. how come people keep cancelling meetings with me like one hour when the meeting time's been set and all? or being very very late for meeting? 4 people in 3 days. today was the worst case. why? couz' I cancelled the meeting w my jacq, didnt go to the guitar seminar couz of a stupid guy. I wonder why I wanted to help you get a job. I dont know why I cared. couz you're really not worth. seriously you're not my anybody at all. I know you couldnt careless about anyone or anything. why did I try... why did I bother...? why did I waste my smses? why did I waste my handphone airtime? why did I risk the trust my manager had in me? why? it's been such a long time since we've spoken but ure still like that. a leopard never changes it's spots. :'(
I'll be meeting tasha and youleong in the coming 2 days. and my sec 1 click next fri. we'll see how it goes. if not i'd rather be alone. like that I did today. I can no longer help anyone or feel myself anymore... wonder if I'll become like anyone else I used to want to help so much... ... ... I'm happy that I finally did alright as a barista, at least no one needed to take over me at work. I was cool and calm. I visited porkie after work. so miss her.
the weight of thoughts on my head.
over my head, better of dead.
I'll be meeting tasha and youleong in the coming 2 days. and my sec 1 click next fri. we'll see how it goes. if not i'd rather be alone. like that I did today. I can no longer help anyone or feel myself anymore... wonder if I'll become like anyone else I used to want to help so much... ... ... I'm happy that I finally did alright as a barista, at least no one needed to take over me at work. I was cool and calm. I visited porkie after work. so miss her.
the weight of thoughts on my head.
over my head, better of dead.
girlwithabroken(: : 21:52
so happy. can go zouk next week. someone please tell me how to get in. i really hope my sister lends me her IC. i'll be going with my friend's friends. hmmm. should be fun lar. all working bunch. i hope angel can meet me there couz she lives 10 minutes away from there. wee wah woo. edmund is beside me right now and so is suraj. he's helping me copy notes and the other lend me his lappie. i dunno what i'm doing in school. so anyone who doesnt want to go to school or whose damn bloody free please ask me out. tmr is my self declared last day of sch. benjamin dyed his hair. sucks to the core. xianwei so much cuter still. botak also nicer. gtg. canteen 5 im coming! woot. please ask me out.
someone really really special to me finally opened up. i wanna be my best for this person and of course try my best not to say anything hurting, sounds pretty inevitable but i'm giving that a shot couz that's someone I really dont want to hurt. I wanna be my nicest even though my nicest maybe bad but at least, the nicest of the worst.
someone really really special to me finally opened up. i wanna be my best for this person and of course try my best not to say anything hurting, sounds pretty inevitable but i'm giving that a shot couz that's someone I really dont want to hurt. I wanna be my nicest even though my nicest maybe bad but at least, the nicest of the worst.
girlwithabroken(: : 08:36
Sunday, January 16, 2005
6 a.m. day after christmas
I throw some clothes on in the dark
the smell of cold
car seat is freezing
the world is sleeping
I am numb
up the stairs to her apartment
she is balled up on the couch
her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
and we drive
now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
than I ever have before
(chorus)
she's a brick and I'm drownin' slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm drownin' slowly
They call her name at seven-thirty
I pace around the parking lot
And I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
(chorus)
as weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
they told me, "son it's time to tell the truth," and
she broke down and I broke down
cause I was tired of lying
driving back to her apartment
for the moment we're alone
yeah she's alone
and I'm alone
Now I know it
(chorus)
I throw some clothes on in the dark
the smell of cold
car seat is freezing
the world is sleeping
I am numb
up the stairs to her apartment
she is balled up on the couch
her mom and dad went down to Charlotte
they're not home to find us out
and we drive
now that I have found someone
I'm feeling more alone
than I ever have before
(chorus)
she's a brick and I'm drownin' slowly
off the coast and I'm headed nowhere
she's a brick and I'm drownin' slowly
They call her name at seven-thirty
I pace around the parking lot
And I walk down to buy her flowers
And sell some gifts that I got
Can't you see
It's not me you're dying for
Now she's feeling more alone
Then she ever has before
(chorus)
as weeks went by
It showed that she was not fine
they told me, "son it's time to tell the truth," and
she broke down and I broke down
cause I was tired of lying
driving back to her apartment
for the moment we're alone
yeah she's alone
and I'm alone
Now I know it
(chorus)
girlwithabroken(: : 01:30
It's been a long and winding journey
but I'm finally here tonight
picking up the pieces walking back into the light
to the sunset of your glory
where my heart and future lie
theres nothing like that feeling
when I look into your eyes
my dreams came true when I found You
I found you, my miracle.
I was really tired today. worked from 7am-3pm. and hungry to a point I didnt feel like eating. supposed to go watch Ken perform, I was too tired. supposed to go church. or to my aunt's house. was too tired to meet Angel and her boyfriend either. I just stayed at home. I met him for dinner with ed. I thought he wouldnt want to see me for at least another 3 days or so. pretty surprised he called me anyway. I just hate passing up the weekend to spend with him. I promise I wont care so much anymore. unplanned so be it, I'll always go ahead with what I intend to do instead of waiting for sweet nothings now I guess. work schedule I'll plan for my own convenience and no one else. anyway hardly anything's confirmed but I always just wanted to try so that if we ever met we could spend more time tgt. oh well. finally able to get the economics notes for him. meeting cyan next next week during my study break. met xiaokun, ying di, wenting, guanhua and a few others after meeting them. got home at 1215am.
she could always look fine, but inside her was cutting deep.
but I'm finally here tonight
picking up the pieces walking back into the light
to the sunset of your glory
where my heart and future lie
theres nothing like that feeling
when I look into your eyes
my dreams came true when I found You
I found you, my miracle.
I was really tired today. worked from 7am-3pm. and hungry to a point I didnt feel like eating. supposed to go watch Ken perform, I was too tired. supposed to go church. or to my aunt's house. was too tired to meet Angel and her boyfriend either. I just stayed at home. I met him for dinner with ed. I thought he wouldnt want to see me for at least another 3 days or so. pretty surprised he called me anyway. I just hate passing up the weekend to spend with him. I promise I wont care so much anymore. unplanned so be it, I'll always go ahead with what I intend to do instead of waiting for sweet nothings now I guess. work schedule I'll plan for my own convenience and no one else. anyway hardly anything's confirmed but I always just wanted to try so that if we ever met we could spend more time tgt. oh well. finally able to get the economics notes for him. meeting cyan next next week during my study break. met xiaokun, ying di, wenting, guanhua and a few others after meeting them. got home at 1215am.
she could always look fine, but inside her was cutting deep.
girlwithabroken(: : 01:25
Saturday, January 15, 2005
I felt very bad this afternoon. I hate the feeling of not being able to help. my manager always wants me to work longer hours. but it's a school day! and it would be 10 and a 1/2 hours if I agreed to work. fortunately, I declined. she wants me to work more next week too. I really feel very bad. but I'll only tire myself out more so I used the excuse of having make-up lectures due to the stupid Ngee Ann open house. hope they miss out my name on the duty list! haha! and there is still IS next week. sucks. I thought there was no school on thursday.
another slow moving day. lazed at westmall for 3 hours. bought purple nail polish! xtie painted my nails for me, I helped pork paint hers, alicia and vanessa too! overly bored during the IS briefing and the BLT and BMS course briefings. I think I will stay in Ngee Ann Polytechnic afterall. dont think I'm that ready to go into the working world. I still wanna enjoy school life very very much. I miss JC. and I miss the times when I was with Jacq every single day of the first 3 months in SAJC. was supposed to meet bestie after all that... but for some reason or another we didn't. get put aeroplane again. supposed to meet him but we didn't also. for some reason too although I waited for him. hmmm.
my hand still hurts. I hurt it when I was surfing the darn volleyball. nono, it's darn me. saw Her again today.
will be meeting Jacqy monday after work to pass her her presents and posty and lawrence on tuesday for maths stuff. definately not going for volley on tuesday. uber boring man. gee. forgot what I have on wednesday. school as for normal for thursday. work work on friday. I love my oral com class! they're such nice creatures!
met many many ppl new and old, during these two days. somehow. jianyi. kimying. some guy senior. weisheng. weiqiang. yong qiang. yuhang. raymond. ying hui ctss. joel. zulhairi. saito. xianjin. dora. teresa. aishah. clara. janis.
another slow moving day. lazed at westmall for 3 hours. bought purple nail polish! xtie painted my nails for me, I helped pork paint hers, alicia and vanessa too! overly bored during the IS briefing and the BLT and BMS course briefings. I think I will stay in Ngee Ann Polytechnic afterall. dont think I'm that ready to go into the working world. I still wanna enjoy school life very very much. I miss JC. and I miss the times when I was with Jacq every single day of the first 3 months in SAJC. was supposed to meet bestie after all that... but for some reason or another we didn't. get put aeroplane again. supposed to meet him but we didn't also. for some reason too although I waited for him. hmmm.
my hand still hurts. I hurt it when I was surfing the darn volleyball. nono, it's darn me. saw Her again today.
will be meeting Jacqy monday after work to pass her her presents and posty and lawrence on tuesday for maths stuff. definately not going for volley on tuesday. uber boring man. gee. forgot what I have on wednesday. school as for normal for thursday. work work on friday. I love my oral com class! they're such nice creatures!
met many many ppl new and old, during these two days. somehow. jianyi. kimying. some guy senior. weisheng. weiqiang. yong qiang. yuhang. raymond. ying hui ctss. joel. zulhairi. saito. xianjin. dora. teresa. aishah. clara. janis.
girlwithabroken(: : 01:24
Friday, January 14, 2005
the tears burned. for the 5th time.
girlwithabroken(: : 19:52
Wednesday, January 12, 2005
C G
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
F G
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
C G
I want to lay like this forever.
F G
Until the sky falls down on me...
nice song. good chord and tabs. (: im getting better at guitar! as in the C major and C minor scale. yipee. practice practice.
I want to stand with you on a mountain.
F G
I want to bathe with you in the sea.
C G
I want to lay like this forever.
F G
Until the sky falls down on me...
nice song. good chord and tabs. (: im getting better at guitar! as in the C major and C minor scale. yipee. practice practice.
girlwithabroken(: : 20:39
Tuesday, January 11, 2005
so hard to upload pictures now that my hello software is linked to his blog. logged into my account but it's still linked to his blog. so I have to log into there and slowly copy the htmls and paste in my blog template.
work was horrible yest. broke down and cried after the so many times I felt like crying. really couldnt take it anymore. I was made to feel stupid, useless and dumb. the urge to quit yesterday was really strong. hope angel can help me out of this. hope she asks kheir to let me go work at robinson's point spinelli's. at least there's nicer people where ( I'm not saying heeren's people aren't). there's a direct bus from school to there anyway. bus 75. I'm going to try my best from today onwards, any more unreasonable rants from them and I'll quit. hope christie gets the job at starbucks! ahha. pork at breeks! me and spin's. really felt indescribably down in the dumps yest. I felt dispensable. like no one needed me there. if I'm that lousy please fire me thanks. saves paying wages for a useless employee like myself. or at least let me work one day at RP, one day at heeren's. please please.
least knowing I can see him today made me feel so much better. school ended in half an hour from the time I reached the lab. yipee. he didnt go to school either couz of pw. helped him the summary for it. really hope I was of help anyways. hope to work on next friday couz it's a PH! yay! I chose morning shift so hopefully can acc him aft work. good luck for vectors test. hee.
work was horrible yest. broke down and cried after the so many times I felt like crying. really couldnt take it anymore. I was made to feel stupid, useless and dumb. the urge to quit yesterday was really strong. hope angel can help me out of this. hope she asks kheir to let me go work at robinson's point spinelli's. at least there's nicer people where ( I'm not saying heeren's people aren't). there's a direct bus from school to there anyway. bus 75. I'm going to try my best from today onwards, any more unreasonable rants from them and I'll quit. hope christie gets the job at starbucks! ahha. pork at breeks! me and spin's. really felt indescribably down in the dumps yest. I felt dispensable. like no one needed me there. if I'm that lousy please fire me thanks. saves paying wages for a useless employee like myself. or at least let me work one day at RP, one day at heeren's. please please.
least knowing I can see him today made me feel so much better. school ended in half an hour from the time I reached the lab. yipee. he didnt go to school either couz of pw. helped him the summary for it. really hope I was of help anyways. hope to work on next friday couz it's a PH! yay! I chose morning shift so hopefully can acc him aft work. good luck for vectors test. hee.
girlwithabroken(: : 20:29
meet your girlfriend's best friends!
girlwithabroken(: : 20:16
Sunday, January 09, 2005
you know why I lock my door all the time? couz I hate you being around. the obstinate you. you're driving everyone away from you. dont ask us why but ask yourself. it's not worth picking a quarrell with me just couz of electricity bills. that's your point. then u change your mind and give your second reason that I'm disorganised. why dont you call Spinelli's and ask them why they're schedulings only comes out on sunday night? or why dont you get me an extra pair of jeans or wash my uniform for me? I do everything myself and that includes not asking extra money for clothes and doing my own house work. and I wished you'd see a doctor rather than sulk all day long with that injured leg of yours and say we dont care. didnt I just tell you where you can find a good massage therapist? it's not only me. it's the three of us. your very own flesh that can't stand you. money really isn't everything. not at least to me. I'm sad to know that that's your security. just paper. nothing but paper.
your call is the significance. makes me smile the widest.
your call is the significance. makes me smile the widest.
girlwithabroken(: : 22:51
heartsapart.
livesapart.
dreamsapart.
worlds apart.
minds apart.
seems apart.
livesapart.
dreamsapart.
worlds apart.
minds apart.
seems apart.
girlwithabroken(: : 13:02
6th of January 2005.
I had my guitar lesson with yuhang and it carried on for 2 and a half hours. my fingers hurt silly couz I was using my acoustic guitar. but it was still fun. learnt scaling and intervals, triplets and harmonics. was half an hour late for oral-communication. it was fun as usual. getting more and more fun. I think our teacher liked my class so much he promoted us to the school to let us go to Cambodia on a study trip. we go there to observe and note down their village cultures for 18 whole days. sounds pretty much fun! I spoke abit better than before I think. at least there's improvement. my class is really fun! mechanical engineering, aerospace technology, biotech and biomed altogether. hope we can take a class picture together when the semester comes to an end. thanks for sending me home. (:
7th of January 2005
skipped maths again. this time unintentionally. we wanted to go in at break time but there didnt seemed to be a break so we left. went to town with xtie. watched phamton of the opera. missed him. met jocelyn and ken! oh they look so fine together! so happy for her!!!! yay! janice came about an hour later. talked to her abit after jocelyn and ken left. and of course we took photos before we all parted. fun!!!
8th of January 2005
worked from 7am to 4+pm. I was late for work too! abit late. learnt how to do opening duty for centre. make those sandwiches and arrange the cakes and tarts and pies and muffins in the domes. went to the ss thing after work. but only couz I knew bestie was going. got to see him too. went to eat dinner with bestie after that. fish and co again! haha. met a bunch of idiots who kept complaining about the waitress who spilt chilli sauce on one of their friend's dress. wanna complain this and that so that can get her sacked or get discounts. wait till they work then they know... heh. meanies. really. went home. anw, thanks so much bestie! was really dead beat... work drained me. but no matter how tired I was I waited for his call. hee. sleep talked alot to him.
I had my guitar lesson with yuhang and it carried on for 2 and a half hours. my fingers hurt silly couz I was using my acoustic guitar. but it was still fun. learnt scaling and intervals, triplets and harmonics. was half an hour late for oral-communication. it was fun as usual. getting more and more fun. I think our teacher liked my class so much he promoted us to the school to let us go to Cambodia on a study trip. we go there to observe and note down their village cultures for 18 whole days. sounds pretty much fun! I spoke abit better than before I think. at least there's improvement. my class is really fun! mechanical engineering, aerospace technology, biotech and biomed altogether. hope we can take a class picture together when the semester comes to an end. thanks for sending me home. (:
7th of January 2005
skipped maths again. this time unintentionally. we wanted to go in at break time but there didnt seemed to be a break so we left. went to town with xtie. watched phamton of the opera. missed him. met jocelyn and ken! oh they look so fine together! so happy for her!!!! yay! janice came about an hour later. talked to her abit after jocelyn and ken left. and of course we took photos before we all parted. fun!!!
8th of January 2005
worked from 7am to 4+pm. I was late for work too! abit late. learnt how to do opening duty for centre. make those sandwiches and arrange the cakes and tarts and pies and muffins in the domes. went to the ss thing after work. but only couz I knew bestie was going. got to see him too. went to eat dinner with bestie after that. fish and co again! haha. met a bunch of idiots who kept complaining about the waitress who spilt chilli sauce on one of their friend's dress. wanna complain this and that so that can get her sacked or get discounts. wait till they work then they know... heh. meanies. really. went home. anw, thanks so much bestie! was really dead beat... work drained me. but no matter how tired I was I waited for his call. hee. sleep talked alot to him.
girlwithabroken(: : 12:28
Thursday, January 06, 2005
shit. every thing go deleted. I dunno what I did. the page sorta refreshed.
janis: i cant get to ur blog @#$%^&*( ahhh! see u at lecture tmr girl! take care. sry i didnt go to school with you. IAC days I can. and cannot be late >.<
sean: mean old man. grumpy. haha. :p
007: I used to be from Clan CataclysM. why?
roy: cheerrrrrrrrrrr uppppppppp. ^^
doro: you bad!! only read when ure darnnn bored! haha. tried smsing u that day, network busy. >_<>
hedz: tagged you back! hehe. take care k! (: great having u as a project member. haha.
debug: I refreshed and saw your taggy. hmm thanks! take care. surprised u replied so fast. yupyup. catcha around!
bestie: yeah i know how it feels. cheer yeah? hugs*
he loves her more than she does. she loves him more than he does.
janis: i cant get to ur blog @#$%^&*( ahhh! see u at lecture tmr girl! take care. sry i didnt go to school with you. IAC days I can. and cannot be late >.<
sean: mean old man. grumpy. haha. :p
007: I used to be from Clan CataclysM. why?
roy: cheerrrrrrrrrrr uppppppppp. ^^
doro: you bad!! only read when ure darnnn bored! haha. tried smsing u that day, network busy. >_<>
hedz: tagged you back! hehe. take care k! (: great having u as a project member. haha.
debug: I refreshed and saw your taggy. hmm thanks! take care. surprised u replied so fast. yupyup. catcha around!
bestie: yeah i know how it feels. cheer yeah? hugs*
he loves her more than she does. she loves him more than he does.
girlwithabroken(: : 23:17
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
I'M ON CLOUD NINE. I CAN SEE HIM TOMORROW. WOAH WHEE. I'M NOT GOING FOR LECTURE AND NEITHER FOR WORK. TAKING MC.
girlwithabroken(: : 01:23
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
I'm in school now behind edmund who lent me the laptop. sigh. working later. he hasnt replied till now, guess he's really busy to that extent. bleahhhh. all my classmates are great entertainment. micro biology is boring. tests are all coming up and so is common test. sean provided sms entertainment. keeps my handphone ringing at least. woman woman. saw gary in school yesterday, pleasant surprise. too bad he's quitting work soon already. shall not be dao anymore. haha. hope eveline gets well soon too from her fever. poor girlll. hope he wakes up his idea before I whack him. I told ricky me and him was together. he looked pretty surprised. he's been with his girlfriend a long long time though. dunno whether they're still tgt though.
2 days has passed at least. yaya archarbacteria what eubacteria what shit shit. they're going in from one ear and coming out from the other. I'll be going to school with janis on thursday again. we're the late queens forever. beat us?
2 days has passed at least. yaya archarbacteria what eubacteria what shit shit. they're going in from one ear and coming out from the other. I'll be going to school with janis on thursday again. we're the late queens forever. beat us?
girlwithabroken(: : 14:25
I'm in school now behind edmund who lent me the laptop. sigh. working later. he hasnt replied till now, guess he's really busy to that extent. bleahhhh. all my classmates are great entertainment. micro biology is boring. tests are all coming up and so is common test. sean provided sms entertainment. keeps my handphone ringing at least. woman woman. saw gary in school yesterday, pleasant surprise. too bad he's quitting work soon already. shall not be dao anymore. haha. hope eveline gets well soon too from her fever. poor girlll. hope he wakes up his idea before I whack him. I told ricky me and him was together. he looked pretty surprised. he's been with his girlfriend a long long time though. dunno whether they're still tgt though.
2 days has passed at least. yaya archarbacteria what eubacteria what shit shit. they're going in from one ear and coming out from the other. I'll be going to school with janis on thursday again. we're the late queens forever. beat us?
2 days has passed at least. yaya archarbacteria what eubacteria what shit shit. they're going in from one ear and coming out from the other. I'll be going to school with janis on thursday again. we're the late queens forever. beat us?
girlwithabroken(: : 14:25
working, going for cca attachment and schooling. he's started school, rugby and work too. dont want these missings to overwhelm everything. I really felt like crying just now. we still always remind each other... (: and I understand.
love. miss.
hope this week ~~~~f~~~~l~~~~i~~~~e~~~~s past.
it's been a long time since I've this feeling.
truckloads. gargantuan. elephantine. pileloads. exceeding. barrels.
love. miss.
hope this week ~~~~f~~~~l~~~~i~~~~e~~~~s past.
it's been a long time since I've this feeling.
truckloads. gargantuan. elephantine. pileloads. exceeding. barrels.
girlwithabroken(: : 01:03
Monday, January 03, 2005
just got home from town. read sw's blog. 3 days since the new year. can't believe it's passing so fast again. went towning with christie, eunice and liyana. was fun! although all of us were tired and I was in a pretty bad mood I have to admit and at the same time apologies for that sweets. :( had a little talk with Angel. she's really nice lar, I asked her if she could take over my shift tmr and she called back suggesting what I should tell my manager. I went to heeren's after that and told my manager about my exams and my one week leave before my exams starts. bought something from levi's for him. bought myself a black shirt. I portrayed the design in my head 3 months ago already. bought a pink and while belt couz green didnt seem to really suit me. arghhz. anyway spent more than a hundred on all these.
since I'm fat. I still eat subway everytime I work. will buy a sandwich alone everytime before I go to work. wish school had subway. at least the fat contents are like... 2 digits? less than 30g. whee. that's the catch anyway. the black bikini I wanted at Top Shop... no other sizes other than the one on display. they refused to check for me anyway. an apple smoothie and half a sandwich made my meal for the whole afternoon and morning. finally start cutting down. crunches at night seemed inviting for once. burn that fats for once. haha. oh ya, the teva slippers for him fitted him nice. looked great. and so will the item I just bought today.
I'm already missing him even though today's the first day of his school. I guess I'm just foreseeing what's the next months going to be like. seeing him alot less. but I'm still positive we'll live through it. maybe thrive through it! haha. as much as I miss him... I've got to understand (: logic over emotion. couz if we cant even make it now, then our days would probably get busier and busier and same for all the folks out there whose growing up as much as our age changes every year. yapyap. going to get rest! working tomorrow, wenesday and saturday and going for CCA attachment on thursday. I'll reach home after 10 everyday and maybe an exception for friday. saturday morning shift from 7-4pm. #%$^&*()_+
since I'm fat. I still eat subway everytime I work. will buy a sandwich alone everytime before I go to work. wish school had subway. at least the fat contents are like... 2 digits? less than 30g. whee. that's the catch anyway. the black bikini I wanted at Top Shop... no other sizes other than the one on display. they refused to check for me anyway. an apple smoothie and half a sandwich made my meal for the whole afternoon and morning. finally start cutting down. crunches at night seemed inviting for once. burn that fats for once. haha. oh ya, the teva slippers for him fitted him nice. looked great. and so will the item I just bought today.
I'm already missing him even though today's the first day of his school. I guess I'm just foreseeing what's the next months going to be like. seeing him alot less. but I'm still positive we'll live through it. maybe thrive through it! haha. as much as I miss him... I've got to understand (: logic over emotion. couz if we cant even make it now, then our days would probably get busier and busier and same for all the folks out there whose growing up as much as our age changes every year. yapyap. going to get rest! working tomorrow, wenesday and saturday and going for CCA attachment on thursday. I'll reach home after 10 everyday and maybe an exception for friday. saturday morning shift from 7-4pm. #%$^&*()_+
girlwithabroken(: : 17:47
Sunday, January 02, 2005
another year has passed and I'm glad I lived through whatever had happened and lived another year. more like thankful. made a great bunch of friends in poly. loved and be loved. cried and cried for.
cooked for him yesterday. dinner that is. 5 dishes! spaghetti, soup, grill chickenwings, mash potatoes, omelette. cocktail at his house after that. nice nice nice. sunkist juice rocks ;) I loveeeeeee him. and I too intend to keep things going, make things work. I hope, for a long long long long time this lasts. I dont want to define the long as above.
going to rot at home the whole day, andrew didnt msg me to tell me about the Jireh meeting today. oh well. haha. spoke to guanhua on the phone. might be meeting merrvyn somewhere this week too. going to catch phantom of the opera tomorrow. working on tues n wednesday n saturday. common tests are coming, hope to work 2 days a week only. not that I'll study but I need rest from work. working till 4am was boring sheet really. haha. martin and gary dropped by during
but I'm going to do something today that's going to be really mean, it's a new year that's why I'm going to clear up things that have happened last year. I dont believe in an eye for an eye. but this time it's gonna be triple of whatever he gave me. since you dont know how to back off then fuck off. couz me and xianwei's business is really none of yours. not at all and wont ever be. since you wanna insult publicly then I dont think I'll cease to make it private any longer. what's a kiss mean when you wanna kiss the person and yet you say it doesnt mean anything? what's pure friendship going to be like when I can't like someone else? you didnt even want to date and you said there isn't going to be any chance of being together at least for the next one year? and so, you expect me to wait for you? I didnt promise to you know? do you even rememeber? it's just like walking on eggshells if I'm gonna wait, cracks anytime anyhow. moreover I hate insecurities big time. and that's freaking selfish of you to do what ure doing now. I'd appreciate your friendship but save the crude comments please. I dont care what you think of him or what you think of me couz thats the problem on your side, it's yourself, hear that? YOURSELF. I think I'd rather us not talk anymore than you acting like that. childish and pain in the ass really. sucks big time. limits are limits. enough is enough. so what if you give me the "I-dont-give-a-fuck" attitude? you can either right now, stFu or maybe just save the comments n be nice.
cooked for him yesterday. dinner that is. 5 dishes! spaghetti, soup, grill chickenwings, mash potatoes, omelette. cocktail at his house after that. nice nice nice. sunkist juice rocks ;) I loveeeeeee him. and I too intend to keep things going, make things work. I hope, for a long long long long time this lasts. I dont want to define the long as above.
going to rot at home the whole day, andrew didnt msg me to tell me about the Jireh meeting today. oh well. haha. spoke to guanhua on the phone. might be meeting merrvyn somewhere this week too. going to catch phantom of the opera tomorrow. working on tues n wednesday n saturday. common tests are coming, hope to work 2 days a week only. not that I'll study but I need rest from work. working till 4am was boring sheet really. haha. martin and gary dropped by during
but I'm going to do something today that's going to be really mean, it's a new year that's why I'm going to clear up things that have happened last year. I dont believe in an eye for an eye. but this time it's gonna be triple of whatever he gave me. since you dont know how to back off then fuck off. couz me and xianwei's business is really none of yours. not at all and wont ever be. since you wanna insult publicly then I dont think I'll cease to make it private any longer. what's a kiss mean when you wanna kiss the person and yet you say it doesnt mean anything? what's pure friendship going to be like when I can't like someone else? you didnt even want to date and you said there isn't going to be any chance of being together at least for the next one year? and so, you expect me to wait for you? I didnt promise to you know? do you even rememeber? it's just like walking on eggshells if I'm gonna wait, cracks anytime anyhow. moreover I hate insecurities big time. and that's freaking selfish of you to do what ure doing now. I'd appreciate your friendship but save the crude comments please. I dont care what you think of him or what you think of me couz thats the problem on your side, it's yourself, hear that? YOURSELF. I think I'd rather us not talk anymore than you acting like that. childish and pain in the ass really. sucks big time. limits are limits. enough is enough. so what if you give me the "I-dont-give-a-fuck" attitude? you can either right now, stFu or maybe just save the comments n be nice.
girlwithabroken(: : 16:38
Kerp: ehhh? how you got my add? haha. take care ah. (: glad that things never have been better.
MD: hmm, that's my darling. haha. happy new yr.
eunice: sweetie!! happy new year!!! love you.
pammie: hugs you! happy new year! see you tmr dearie!
i was with him for 27 hours. and at 3am just now. ;)
and happy new year to every one who appears at this webby. haha.
MD: hmm, that's my darling. haha. happy new yr.
eunice: sweetie!! happy new year!!! love you.
pammie: hugs you! happy new year! see you tmr dearie!
i was with him for 27 hours. and at 3am just now. ;)
and happy new year to every one who appears at this webby. haha.
girlwithabroken(: : 05:02
