Wednesday, November 29, 2006
I dont know where is my outlet when I'm upset.
It's been like this since tuesday morning or monday morning? since I recieved an sms from my dad telling me that he is going to continue working in china for at least the next three years before he comes back for good. NOT a great way to begin the week. and so i reckon that the last last time he was back, he wasnt angry with me because of my handphone bill, but because he feels that I dont need him anymore. ohh hello, of course I emotionally detach myself from you when ure back because you act like a whole new person, I understand that life is tough where ure working and its hard not to bring it back home but I am so not going to take it. I sent a pretty enlightening email to him just. that time was like, I tried so hard to get to you but it didn't work out well. so the last time you were back things were better already. yes I am glad. but just because of one person you are going to leave us? and you expect us to take all the crap that person gives us? remain non-chalent, understanding, unaffected and not-hurt by what she says? can't u understand I can survive without you, I can live without you, but I can't really live without you? independant as I am, I still want you around. tearing in the bus and everywhere I go on tuesday wasnt nice. or was it a monday? so lost in time. really want to get this few weeks over.
5 projects off hand now... almost done with one more but it makes me left with 4? final year project isnt going well because we have once again failed to extract the DNA from our cultures and its taking up so much of our time. and the best way to actually obtain the DNA would be the french press method which our school does not have. with my mum screaming at me it doesnt leave me feeling any better. drives me crazy knowing she gets angry with me for no reason or no reason and go ranting. :(
I would be selfish to say that I'm having the worst time now. but okay, I feel very terrible but I do not think that it is the worst. always someone out there having a worser time but we all hang in there and make it through anyway. okay, I wish for a hug now. and I hope that there will be someone there for me if/when I crack up. and again the same bday wish every year, I just want to be happy. (:
sigh.
song of the moment by lighthouse family - free, album - whatever gets you through the day
It's been like this since tuesday morning or monday morning? since I recieved an sms from my dad telling me that he is going to continue working in china for at least the next three years before he comes back for good. NOT a great way to begin the week. and so i reckon that the last last time he was back, he wasnt angry with me because of my handphone bill, but because he feels that I dont need him anymore. ohh hello, of course I emotionally detach myself from you when ure back because you act like a whole new person, I understand that life is tough where ure working and its hard not to bring it back home but I am so not going to take it. I sent a pretty enlightening email to him just. that time was like, I tried so hard to get to you but it didn't work out well. so the last time you were back things were better already. yes I am glad. but just because of one person you are going to leave us? and you expect us to take all the crap that person gives us? remain non-chalent, understanding, unaffected and not-hurt by what she says? can't u understand I can survive without you, I can live without you, but I can't really live without you? independant as I am, I still want you around. tearing in the bus and everywhere I go on tuesday wasnt nice. or was it a monday? so lost in time. really want to get this few weeks over.
5 projects off hand now... almost done with one more but it makes me left with 4? final year project isnt going well because we have once again failed to extract the DNA from our cultures and its taking up so much of our time. and the best way to actually obtain the DNA would be the french press method which our school does not have. with my mum screaming at me it doesnt leave me feeling any better. drives me crazy knowing she gets angry with me for no reason or no reason and go ranting. :(
I would be selfish to say that I'm having the worst time now. but okay, I feel very terrible but I do not think that it is the worst. always someone out there having a worser time but we all hang in there and make it through anyway. okay, I wish for a hug now. and I hope that there will be someone there for me if/when I crack up. and again the same bday wish every year, I just want to be happy. (:
sigh.
song of the moment by lighthouse family - free, album - whatever gets you through the day
girlwithabroken(: : 22:13
Monday, November 27, 2006
what I just did was kinkily dangerous to myself, this sucks!
I casted a freaking agarose gel and I didnt on the air flow in the fume hood when I was using ethidium bromide. carcinogenic compound. so it was as good as not using the fume hood.
dripped phenol chlorofoam on hands and I didnt use it in the fume hood when I added phenol chlorofoam and when I was removing it. fuck la.
I casted a freaking agarose gel and I didnt on the air flow in the fume hood when I was using ethidium bromide. carcinogenic compound. so it was as good as not using the fume hood.
dripped phenol chlorofoam on hands and I didnt use it in the fume hood when I added phenol chlorofoam and when I was removing it. fuck la.
girlwithabroken(: : 13:35
Sunday, November 26, 2006
happy.
tired.
busy.
happy.
tired.
busy.
happy.
girlwithabroken(: : 13:10
Saturday, November 18, 2006
thanks for the presents and the 3 cakes and everything, the planning, time and effort.
did it hurt so much that I couldnt cry? just tears here and there. I'm non-expressive and I sure think too much.
fortunately I still have my friends. spending time with them for tonight, tmr's dinner and monday's dinner. I'm always okay.
dad left and it feels even harder now.
did it hurt so much that I couldnt cry? just tears here and there. I'm non-expressive and I sure think too much.
fortunately I still have my friends. spending time with them for tonight, tmr's dinner and monday's dinner. I'm always okay.
dad left and it feels even harder now.
girlwithabroken(: : 17:28
Thursday, November 16, 2006
another day till the exact ninetheenth year of my life on earth. will probably just spend it in sch and maybe go for dinner with my family or just go home after sch. bored n tired in school. it's mid week syndrome. one of the songs which I find pretty nice. nice voice, nice artist. ahah. yeah I am so siann, sometimes I wish things would be easier. I gave up asking why. why about the us. sleepy
today I saw a friend. and said "why you ignore me for 3 years?". yeah literally said it and meant it, and i did just that again.
Shayne Ward - No Promises
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
Every time you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you to know girl.
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Hey baby, when we are together, doing things that we love.
Everytime you're near I feel like I’m in heaven, feeling high
I don’t want to let go, girl.
I just need you you to know girl.
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don’t want to run away, I want to stay forever, thru Time and Time..
No promises
I don’t wanna run away, I don’t wanna be alone
No Promises
No Promises
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, now and forever my love
No promises
No promises
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
I don’t wanna run away, baby you’re the one I need tonight,
No promises.
Baby, now I need to hold you tight, I just wanna die in your arms
Here tonight
Here tonight
girlwithabroken(: : 09:53
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
I thought this was a nice background :) I used it for one of my projects.
I think the energy in me has been slightly restored cause I've been sleeping earlier. waking up early have always felt better but it was just a bad habit to wake up just in time for sch. :D down with cough n flu with lots of phelgm. I feel clogged up inside literally. :(( am awake for about 18 hours or more a day without naps anymore. I want to get well! doesnt feel good like this!
pork's nick is true. projects after projects. BUT this semester ends in 2 months and a half, deducting our study breaks it's less than 2 months! :D
there just always has to be a test or exam on our bdays :\ headed to sch in half an hours time. daddy's fetching me and waynie. oh yeah, I got my hair cut finally. cut off the mess! haha.
girlwithabroken(: : 08:04
Monday, November 13, 2006
haha. monitoring is good!
the minutes pass so slowly when ure hungry/greedy. waiting for my dad to bring me out to supper and I made him promise to eat with me. haha. I suspect minority report is all condensed into 1 disc and not 2. at the rate I'm waiting it's almost been 2 hrs! haha! flu sucks la. me eunice lyn and wing has flu. what shyt. I so love the weather now and it helps sooo much that my mum lost my 2 greenish blue jacket/sweater :(((( ain't helping so much.
decided to take up pilates and probably try out some reggae dance. of course I'm not starting this week, plans to stick around with my papa more. hair cut, project, sch and dental awaits tmr. and a yummy dinner at hopefully carl's jnr. that's love <3.
wondering my sister's bestie wants to give up her online home bake cake business. wud like to try and offer some help because I couldnt take over because it'd be only a year or so before I leave singapore. I THINK.
step up's quite a good show. good looking leads :)) 4 bundles of dogshyt out of five.
got to pester dad to go eat with me now. roar. char must rest early.
the minutes pass so slowly when ure hungry/greedy. waiting for my dad to bring me out to supper and I made him promise to eat with me. haha. I suspect minority report is all condensed into 1 disc and not 2. at the rate I'm waiting it's almost been 2 hrs! haha! flu sucks la. me eunice lyn and wing has flu. what shyt. I so love the weather now and it helps sooo much that my mum lost my 2 greenish blue jacket/sweater :(((( ain't helping so much.
decided to take up pilates and probably try out some reggae dance. of course I'm not starting this week, plans to stick around with my papa more. hair cut, project, sch and dental awaits tmr. and a yummy dinner at hopefully carl's jnr. that's love <3.
wondering my sister's bestie wants to give up her online home bake cake business. wud like to try and offer some help because I couldnt take over because it'd be only a year or so before I leave singapore. I THINK.
step up's quite a good show. good looking leads :)) 4 bundles of dogshyt out of five.
got to pester dad to go eat with me now. roar. char must rest early.
girlwithabroken(: : 01:27
Saturday, November 11, 2006
argh everything got deleted. by accident.
this only makes more evidence for being a dumb-F. basically I boarded the last train yesterday, but i missed my stop home. by 5 stops. I didnt think I was tired to that extent. down with a flu and soresorethroat.
we have decided 10 shots n followed by Vmax to make me puke in the air. (nope, I dont think so!) haha.
well my dad is cooking today but i didnt help him cause im a walk germ and not discounting the fact that im a lazy bone. haha. but we probably head to zouk on friday because andrew chow will be there spinning. I dont know who are the WE going. but I dunno why I dont feel like doing anything.
I'm feeling lonely again! where are my friends? do I have them?
this only makes more evidence for being a dumb-F. basically I boarded the last train yesterday, but i missed my stop home. by 5 stops. I didnt think I was tired to that extent. down with a flu and soresorethroat.
we have decided 10 shots n followed by Vmax to make me puke in the air. (nope, I dont think so!) haha.
well my dad is cooking today but i didnt help him cause im a walk germ and not discounting the fact that im a lazy bone. haha. but we probably head to zouk on friday because andrew chow will be there spinning. I dont know who are the WE going. but I dunno why I dont feel like doing anything.
I'm feeling lonely again! where are my friends? do I have them?
girlwithabroken(: : 12:04
Friday, November 10, 2006
mambo last night kind of sucked.
I rationed because we didnt pay for entry, we wouldnt really try to enjoy our time there. ;)
company was great as usual (: and dinner prepared by my dad. slept about 45 minutes before heading to school. because I cant be late for IS classes. late=absent for mr weng's 8am lesson! sheesh. Is has became such a chore. and we shouldnt be late for WISP anymore.
birthday is a week away, the only feeling I get is the fear of saying I'm already 20 by january next year. no celebrations intended as far. just sian. a loner which I already am. haha.
sometimes I wreck my mind, wondering why all this happened.
had mutton bryani for late lunch and I havent eaten since then. way tired.
nadia will be away for the next 3 days. she called when i was aslp so basically i was sleep-replying. good luck for your competition in KL.
watching teevee with the stay cat and with my dad now. will turn in soon. more rest would do my project and me good.
I rationed because we didnt pay for entry, we wouldnt really try to enjoy our time there. ;)
company was great as usual (: and dinner prepared by my dad. slept about 45 minutes before heading to school. because I cant be late for IS classes. late=absent for mr weng's 8am lesson! sheesh. Is has became such a chore. and we shouldnt be late for WISP anymore.
birthday is a week away, the only feeling I get is the fear of saying I'm already 20 by january next year. no celebrations intended as far. just sian. a loner which I already am. haha.
sometimes I wreck my mind, wondering why all this happened.
had mutton bryani for late lunch and I havent eaten since then. way tired.
nadia will be away for the next 3 days. she called when i was aslp so basically i was sleep-replying. good luck for your competition in KL.
watching teevee with the stay cat and with my dad now. will turn in soon. more rest would do my project and me good.
girlwithabroken(: : 00:12
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
when you have nothing better to do in school and you do NOT want to go for lecture, we do song exchange n file exchange. another 4 more projects to go. namely my final year project, proteomics, world issues and infocomm technology. AHHHHHHHHHHHH. okay I must get down to doing them now. I just remembered.
girlwithabroken(: : 11:37
it was nice to know that I still crossed your mind.
it was nice to know that you were doing okay.
it was really nice...
it was nice to know that you were doing okay.
it was really nice...
girlwithabroken(: : 01:08
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
I would be smoking my lungs off right now if I even did start.
I would feel like that almost once everyday. it has got to do with school and my project.
experiments are trials and err. now we are less than half way thru most of our work. it's fustrating but we havent once threw our hands and said we're off for the day. at least 5 hours a day dedicated to that final year project of ours.
in addition the sister n dad conversations and abit more tone added into that. well well.
we all make it through some how or rather!!
somethings that happen, are blessings in diguise. everything is so masked n veil till one day.
take off the paint, take off that linen.
pretty free and easy nowadays. reconsidering on going to australia to study because I would prefer to spend less of my parents. been exercising with wing and bumming with eunice and all during weekends. the most recent even was wing's bday at her place and mos. it's always fun being with them. warm n happy.
spent a couple of hours talking to dad n walking back from dinner place to our home.
sleeping earlier, exercising abit, working hard at project, these are for now.
you're happy, I will be.
easy for you, not as for me.
I would feel like that almost once everyday. it has got to do with school and my project.
experiments are trials and err. now we are less than half way thru most of our work. it's fustrating but we havent once threw our hands and said we're off for the day. at least 5 hours a day dedicated to that final year project of ours.
in addition the sister n dad conversations and abit more tone added into that. well well.
we all make it through some how or rather!!
somethings that happen, are blessings in diguise. everything is so masked n veil till one day.
take off the paint, take off that linen.
pretty free and easy nowadays. reconsidering on going to australia to study because I would prefer to spend less of my parents. been exercising with wing and bumming with eunice and all during weekends. the most recent even was wing's bday at her place and mos. it's always fun being with them. warm n happy.
spent a couple of hours talking to dad n walking back from dinner place to our home.
sleeping earlier, exercising abit, working hard at project, these are for now.
you're happy, I will be.
easy for you, not as for me.
girlwithabroken(: : 00:02
Wednesday, November 01, 2006
I saw your back.
the one that turned on me...
it felt like I fell so many storeys.
catch me please. please.
the one that turned on me...
it felt like I fell so many storeys.
catch me please. please.
girlwithabroken(: : 00:29
