Echo me

Exams are 3 quarters done with. Only left one paper to sit for next week so theres still time to study. But i should not slack too much nevertheless. 

Currently feeling disgruntled and amazed that people put so much emphasis on clothing. Yes i admit that i care about my appearance and what i wear, but whoa some people really just top the charts in their metro sexual well groomed appearance.  

Hello its exam period now. Ive got better things to worry about than what i wear. So what if i wore a plain black tee. So what if i didnt shave for a week. Im obliged nor bound by the metro sexual mens alliance of Melbourne  affiliate contract to get hit by a car and still look good dying. 

Sigh. Maybe its time for a wardrobe upgrade. Too much peer pressure. 

   

You know, sometimes you are so selfish it sickens me.

Its not that you are consciously aware of it, but yes you get threatened easily at the first sign of apparent threat (whether from friend or foe) and immediately shoot yourself in the head from panicked delirium as you enter into a defensive mode. 

Eugh. I know that a lot of people judge you, and that you get a never ending trail of progressively bad events peppered throughout your whole life, but why cant you just be happy for others for a change. Without the need to play victim.

Eugh.

   

Dead space.

4 days til exams.

Bisfi tutes, past year papers, Full revision,

Law case studies, Full revision.

4 days.

I slept for 3 hours this evening. Crap

Xian please stop sleeping! Oh my gosh, i swear its the tea im drinking. Its making me so sleepy i keep dozing off and napping for hours and end up not studying. Focus!

At least im sort of done with my psych assignment, which is due Nov 14th. That gives me 2 weeks to focus on Bisfi and Corp Law, both of which i shall attempt to finish by middle of next week.

Gogogogogo

Oh and i did some architecture model photography today for Kyle. Very interesting experience.  

exams in two weeks. Its time to hermit it out. I'l be a social recluse for the next month. Give me strength 

Bisfi midem tomorrow. Corp law essay due on tuesday.

Come on! Mid sem practice MCQs dont fail me now!

feeling emotionally and physically drained. 

Stupid midsems. Stupid essay. Faster finish la.

i need to get my average up. mediocrity is no excuse. 

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”

“It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let the person know how you feel.”

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Its 2.30am in the morning. Ive got 3 assignments and 1 mid semester test to complete within a week. The price of being a Melbourne Uni student.

Note to self: Get Psychology essay out of the way before attempting to study for Bis Fi. Then if i have time i'l do the optional Law essay. 

Currently experiencing writers block. Forcing myself to churn out ideas for my essay.

Its funny how much i miss traveling. Currently, both my parents are in Copenhagen waiting to transit for their 2 week Baltic cruise. And sis is on exchange to America. Last update from her was in Vegas, then the Grand Canyon. Fuck i wanna go on a holiday too. I was supposed to go to Hong Kong and rural mainland China last year but my boss didn't let me take holiday leave. Bullshit crap.  Thats why i haven't been getting my yearly fix of traveling and its pissing me off. I wouldn't mind going back to Japan for a holiday. I really enjoyed that trip. Or visit the states. I remember Mexico and Los Angeles . Good times.

I've learned that proper sleep and rest are essential in order to operate on an optimal performance level. As most of you know, i've been pretty sick the last two weeks. Got bogged down by activities and didnt have time to rest. Ended up coming down with a cold and was out of commission for quite a while. Damn i should stop falling sick so frequently.

 

I cleaned Brendas tank today. There was gunk at the bottom of the tank and it was full of worms. Small thread-like white worms wriggling around and floating all over the tank. Not a pretty sight. Bought more meal worms to feed her. I think shes not eating her pellet food much and the leftovers are turning the water bad.

Directive? 

Damn being sick isnt funny. I've been sleeping hours on end for the past few days, productivity slashed to 30%. And mid sems are coming up. Great.


On another note, went to crown last night for a friends sisters recital.Flawlessly played.Shes only 12 and shes aiming for diploma in violin.

fuck it

solitude of the mind.

Im making homemade energy bars! Haha a little project i decided to start on because i have not been eating my breakfast regularly (oversleeping).I swear that the cold saps my strength and my blanket has magnetic properties.


Oh well. On another note, its time to enter into study mode. Theres no space to play around especially since mid sems are just a month away. I must not slack. I must study hard. I desperately need my H1 average.


I shall not leave room for complacency in life.



Went jogging today in the crazy wind. The forceful gale was so strong that I nearly got blown onto the main road.

Freaky.

Like a plague you descended upon us. Latched yourself upon our flesh like a hungry lamprey thirsting for blood. Uncouth in your intentions, obvious with your direction.

Its scaring us.






Random thought
Its been raining almost continuously for the past few days. Im sick of wearing boots.

Where is all my time disappearing to? Dammit the days are melding together i cant tell them apart. I just wanna stay at home and jelly it out. The past two days has been so full of activities i think im suffering from an overdose.

Not to mention today was Fotoholics AGM. Tiring stuff. And then theres still corp law seminar work which i have not started on. -_-

i tried sleeping early, 12.30 to be exact. Failed miserably. Now its 2.45 and im about to hit the sack. And wake up around lunchtime. Great. Half my day is gone. No wonder i feel as though my day contains so few hours. Literally. Must start to sleep early and wake up early.

The days are slowly beginning to blend together. Maybe its due to the fact that I sleep in the morning and wake up after lunch. (all my classes start at 2pm onwards this sem!) Surreal stuff.


Tutes are starting this week, gotta start preparing for them soon. Get a fresh start for the new semester. Went down to the docklands yesterday for a photography event. Didn't manage to take much shots cause i was busy running around doing admin stuff. But managed to snap this one justtt as the clouds parted and the sun shone through.



Went grocery shopping today. Bought at least Aud60 worth of food to last me the next 2 weeks. Also stopped by the aroma therapist stall on the way out to grab some scented oils. Eucalyptus and Vanilla oil =D

Currently feeling sleepy. Must start exercising again. Must start doing my errands before they pile up over my head.

I live because i breathe. I live because i am alive.




It was always at the back of my head.Like a nagging insistent thought that sips and stirs unwanted emotions which oozes poison so vile it corrupts the very core.Now the situation has presented itself, and has not yet come to pass. Your every action from this moment on will determine the fate of yourself and everyone around you. I pray God gives you wisdom to make the right decisions.






On another note, Winter holidays have come to an end. Lacking the opportunity to say a proper goodbye to my family, cousins, friends and hometown, my heart is heavy to leave this place. I had to rush to the airport to catch my plane ride back to Melbourne because i got my flight time mixed up with morning and night. Never again.



Its already the end of first week of uni, subjects are harder, people are friendlier, and i've settled myself down to the old same routine i had last semester. The cold needs getting used to though. My body seems to have forgotten what it is like to live in single digit temperatures after spending a bare minimal 3 weeks in Malaysia. No matter, winter is about to come to an end. I expect warmer temperatures by next month.



Theres docklands night photography tomorrow evening, followed by OCF. The next day theres a picnic at Carlton Gardens and mega grocery shopping. My fridge is barren. How i survived for a week without cooking is still a mystery to me. Probably the late lunches i have been having in uni.




On to more pressing matters, my housemate is leaving next month. Due to financial circumstances on his part, and his discovery of the availability of cheaper albeit not up to par accommodation has pushed him to move out by the end of next month. Hence, i am searching for a new housemate to occupy one of the 4 empty rooms in my house. Price range is between AUD170-200 a week. I doubt anyone reading this post would be interested in renting a place, but if you have friends who are searching for accommodation they might find this information useful.

So ive been in ipoh for close to a week now. Really enjoying the life here. Laid back and relaxed, i totally deserve this break.

Results were rather decent. Must work harder next sem.

Went skiing during the weekend i finished exams. First time seeing snow, was quite an intense moment for me.


Went to singapore to cosplay at Cosfest for the weekend. It was really good. The experience gained highly outweighs the long traveling time.

Its sad that we were all too tired, so we only cosplayed for 2 hours and had to leave to due to exhaustion.


And it was such a pity we didnt go on the 2nd day. The photographers were there snapping shots like mad. And where was i when they played my theme song and calling my name. Sephiroth. Sigh


Many thanks for my cousins for helping me prepare and making it possible. Wouldnt have been able to do it without you guys.




-out-

Salutations,

3 days left until my accounting paper and last exam for the semester.

Cant wait for it to be over. Today, tute work. The next two days, past year exam papers. 3rd day, full revision.

One day til Qm2 exam. No make that less than 24 hours.

Hopefully i'l be able to do well.

Ive been studying so hard for it. Writing notes and doing exercises and past year papers the whole week. Pray i retain everything i have learned. So annoying when i cant remember.

After tomorrow theres one more paper next Wednesday and then im free! for one month at least.


SIGH. Good luck to those still having exams

Theres a restlessness in my soul.


Cant wait for exams to be over. Sigh


Im currently booked home on the 24th, but parents want to change it to the 1st. Gonna see if i can get the 30th or 1st morning flight back.



MAS airline office first thing tomorrow. Then grocery shop. Then continue studying my butt off for Qm2 and Accounting.


Come on just 2 more weeks!

So im in absolute shock at the moment. A bloody hell eventful night. Im penning this down at 3.30am just in case i forget what happened when i wake up in the morning.


I was busy studying in the living room, totally not expecting anything to happen. I mean, its SWOTVAC week isnt it. People are busy studying and stuff. I even planned to just study through my birthday the whole of tomorrow (so lifeless!) and not think about it until after exams.


Anyway i while studying i heard the house door open and close. I thought it was Matt my housemate. Boy was i wrong.Sis and Han came over to surprise me! they brought cake and my birthday present, an axolotl! So BLOODY COOL! With Glass Tank, Pump, Food and everything! Obviously i was shocked and totally caught by surprise, i mean not only was i not expecting anything, but an Axolotl as a bday present?? Totally cool. Ok its quite geli la actually but i think its a pretty awesome 20th bday present regardless.



They stayed and chat for a bit, help set up the tank and stuff. Then when it was time to go, Matt came home. With my cell! Wah double dose of surprise! Totally unexpected man. With balloons and (mini) cake also. Super touched cause they could have spent their time studying but chose to come over (takes time to tram and WALK the whole way home to my place also!) and surprise me. Thanks guys!

Anyway i got Sabo-ed after that. They baptized me in tomato sauce and mayo -_- i have 2 new pimples now i can feel it. But yes truly truly appreciate the kind gesture XD


They also stayed for a while and chat about random stuff. I sent them back to the city la cause abit dodgy take tram so late. After that i went to the living room to try and study and MATT comes IN AGAIN this time with a LETTER! Says URGENT PLEASE READ XIAN




So i panicked and opened it. it read THE NIGHT ISNT OVER YET. THERE IS STILL MORE (SOMETHING SOMETHING)

so i had to go on a TREASURE HUNT at 12AM! wah crazy! first clue was to go to the house opposite mine. Found a paper stuck there and it said something something SLIDES.

SO i RAN to the SLIDES at the other side of Parkville (in the dark, with slippers, a singlet and a jacket on) where the playground and BBQ pits are and i found another note on the slide. It said something something food and INTERNET. SO i Ran to the DAiry store at the other side of the neighborhood and found a FOURTH clue. -___-

theres no place like home.



SO i ran all the way home and found FIONA and KEN hiding in my living room. Wah triple kill tonight. They surprised me with a Cake we went over to her house after that for some Sago dessert and chatted til about 2.45.



Now its 3.30 and im blogging whatever comes to mind -_-

so so super super dunno how to react. And i seriously thought i was going to spend the night alone studying.






thanks for such a wonderful night guys. To ling and Han for buying me the axolotl (so ex! with the tank and all) and bringing it all the way home, to Matt and the ABC cell for tramming and surprising me with cake and balloons, and to FI and KEN for PLANNING some weird freaky treasure hunt at 1am in the middle of winter -__-






Thanks for everything from the bottom of my heart.




SLEEP..

My gosh its already SWOTVAC week. Exams start next monday. Hello time where have you gone. Sigh, its already nearly June. Is it just me or are the years passing by faster than usual?


Ive been spending too long on my psych assignment (60%). After today i shall focus on my other subjects. In fact,i think i should read some OB tonight just to refresh my memory.


Damn time is passing so darn fast. Currently my state of living has been reduced to Study-Sleep-Watch Tv-Exercise-Online- Feed Triops.

Such a low quality of life. No room for free thought and wishful thinking at the moment. After exams, ah i shall get my life back.

On another note i just realized my birthday is in 2 days. Seriously. I didnt realize it was so close. And i feel indifferent towards it. Marred by exams as per usual. Not going to hype myself up about it. Wait until exams are over, then i shall enjoy without restraint. Perseverance is the key.


Im a bit sad at the prospect of loosing my teenagedom. It was good while it lasted. Sigh ok im very sad at losing my teen status. Time to enter the ranks of the young adult world. Its depressing cause it marks a significant increase in responsibility, as well as mature thinking. Both of which i feel i lack.


I think my 17 year old self contained more maturity than my current state now. Credit it to the emotional pain of growing up. Life is trivial at this stage.


My mission objective this week is to study for exams and exercise.


Positive energy and good karma. Tranquility and homeostasis.

harden your heart.

resist the temptress.

Sometimes people can be bloody Fucking selfish.

I know its just a few bad eggs but its pissing me off.



sigh lucky ive got people to depend on. Just feeling extremely exasperated

3 weeks left til exams.


Music Psych assignment.

Qm2 Assignment


Revision.

Great.

Went for a walk around the neighborhood today. For about 10 mins. Brought my cam along and snapped some shots.

Thank god ive finished ob assignment. Its due 2mrw so there still one day to review and do last minute changes.


Now the plan is to start on my psych assignment and catch up on Qm and accounts lecture.


last night we ate at this fancy italian resaturant with uncle erics and uncle walters family. Really good food
2mrw is lings birthday. Gonna go out for dinner also.
Then saturday is a Lee relatives/cousins dinner at shark fin house.
and on sunday is wagyu beef party.


4 days non stop eating.

Gotta exercise !

ok i just found random people using my photos. as profile pictures. Without acknowledging. Abit annoyed haha. Should have the courtesy to inform at least.


..



I should start watermarking my photos from now on.





QM assignment 95% done!

As of now, i shall severely limit my social outings to the bare essentials. Missed zombie shuffle yesterday. Gonna miss a whole lot more for the next month and a half.

Exams are in a months time. Come on Xian, time to start studying!


I still have OB, QM , and Psych assignment to do =(



Looking forward to a nice lazy winter break when this is all over.

easter holidays have come to an end.

lots of photos from my escapades over the past week.

at the moment i have to tackle a midsem test, an assignment, and tute homework.

and im sick. eugh

OBI.

Off to watch CATS the musical in an hour. While my OB assignment is left untouched for another day.

Well, im trying to at least finish up the references before i leave to the theater. Then tonight and tomorrow attempt to complete my essay.

This week has been a rather unlucky week.


A series of unfortunate events plagued my week. One right after another. With varying levels of misfortune.



1.Because of the hail last saturday, my room ceiling started leaking water. Somehow hail got in through the roof and melted, pooling into a nice puddle in the ceiling space above my bed . Drip drip drip right onto my pillow. I placed a bucket on my bed to collect the rainwater. It was half full. Great. Had to sleep in my parents room while waiting for the rainwater to dry up.

2. I went to buy groceries. Wanted to park the car next to the tramstop.  There was no parking left. Had to drive around further than usual for a parking space. Tried parking at this corner but had to park somewhere else, cause someone drove up from behind and told me she couldn't get through.

3. Numerous occasions throughout the week i JUST missed the tram and had to wait for the next one. I usually have very good tram karma, when i reach the tramstop the tram would just be approaching in 1 or 2 stops. Didnt happen this week.

4. Had my tutorial. My tutor is the head tutor for the subject. Overly enthusiastic. We aren't primary school children. He kept asking questions (random impromptu generated ones) and there was this question where everyone kept quiet and didn't answer him. If we are quiet it means we do not know the answer obviously. ITs not like we dont want to answer him. He then forced one person to answer it by calling his name. Guess whos name was it.

5. I lost my Student ID and Malaysian IC. I found my Student ID and Malaysian IC. I lost my Red Cross Blood Donors Card.

6. I lost my black shiny jacket. Dunno what happened to it. Just disappeared. Wasnt in its usual spot in my room when i woke up. Im quite certain i brought it home. Monday going back to Freddos to check if i left it there.

There is sentimental value in that jacket.

Blogging in the uni computer lab while waiting to go for a information session with yiwen. Meeting audrey and jessin there. Jessin went to south africa last year for a social community project. Interested in going to south africa anyone?


things to do today when i get home; clean my room, organize last years house bills claims (which i have left for half a year), prepare my budget for camera and entertainment purposes, and get my notes in order. Hectic hectic day.
This Saturday theres OCF Picnic. And potentially a visit to the melb museum. Anyone interested contact me.

Sunday is a whole day of photography workshop+training session+night event shots at moomba festival.


Must do quantitative methods 2 tutorial work by 2mrw.

Am contemplating getting a computer desktop for the house. My laptop is not suitable for prolonged usage everyday.

Visiting the course advisor this Friday (or later today if i can get it) to discuss about my next semesters and 3rd year subjects.

i think im slowly going insane.


These past few months,ive been losing grip of the reality that is around me.



Everything seems so surreal.





Ive lost my sight to discern things, ive lost my ability to taste the flavors of world, and now im loosing my voice to speak with man. Someone please plug me back into the matrix. I think my cord is loose. Im losing my place in this superficial world and im fading away into a different kind of reality.




Time please slow down. i think im being left behind.





everyone say meow

intoxication 

i am going to miss this.

why do you feel threatened so easily. 

wings

15 days before i head back to Australia.

Hey folks its been a while. As you can see, i've been busy trying to salvage whats left of the holidays (since interning robbed me of 2 months of solid sleep-lazying around). Just got back from a quick trip down to sg for 2.5days via firefly. Only managed to meet up with a handful of sg friends due to time constraints. Bought 4 shirts. 

Would have loved to go prawning but missed the chance! 

Now the idea is to start tying up loose ends and completing the misc stuff i have been putting off for quite  a while. 

oh and we went to sentosa. went to look at houses and underwater world. ate at resorts world. 

calories.

Sublime.

Intrigued. 

must learn to not snap at dad.

im just too darn nice and people are taking advantage of it.

i must be more of an ass cause im a such a pushover at times.

I have 3 weeks left of internship. Then i can have my life back. 

Interning at Deloitte has both been an exhausting yet somewhat rewarding experience.

Its been a tough choice staying and working at the firm. I gave up so much for it. Sigh there goes my social life for another month. 

enduring the stress.