Friday, September 30, 2005

I miss that town
I miss their faces
You can't erase
You can't replace it
I miss it now
I can't believe it
So hard to stay
Too hard to leave it
If I could relive those days
I know the one thing that would never change

It's hard to say
It's time to say it
Goodbye, Goodbye

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 23:55

Thursday, September 29, 2005

AHHHHHH. promos start TOMORROW. and a good question now would be what im still doing online. im scared! whats new. im sorry people whom ive often bugged in the past few days about how terrified i am. i just want to scrape through and get promoted! thats all i ask. it isnt too much is it :S this is going to be one very long week :(

oh and the airport is an extremely conducive environment to study in! discovered that yesterday when i went there with the jiemeis to study. we even popped into sakae sushi and ate while we studied. and then mel and i walked around the whole airport from terminal 2 we took a skytrain to terminal 1 and sat at the viewing mall clutching our notes all the way. tourists must think singapore has an interesting education system. haha and basically we just treated the airport like our home! leaving our things all over the place and we even rewarded ourselves with the tv for an hour :D but yeah it was ultra productive! i think. relatively. haha i want to go and study moree. except that it takes a whole hour to travel there! boo.

good luck to you guys (: we'll make it through somehow.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 22:32

Monday, September 19, 2005

BOO promos have gotten me all frenzied and it makes me sad :( im starting to think that i'd never be able to finish studying by the time 30th september comes and that really worries me :S

but anyway.

happy birthday poo!

haha the last of the festival of birthdays.. like what ella said. haha as expected we threw a little surprise for her! but this time we actually did catch her by surprise.. cos i think she wasnt aware of any other surprises we did the first week of september. but this year our surprises were all quite a flop :( sadly. i went over to christl's place to preparee.. we did up the box all nice and pretty with nice pages torn out from some real classy magazine.. then we scribbled stuff on the top of the box and everything :D haha it looked damn nice! i think. haha then we sort of played dress up cos they wanted everyone to look nice for the surprise. BOO. christl needs larger shirts :( i felt suffocated in her teenyweeny shirt.

we were dillydallying so much that when it was midnight we were still at christl's house! goshhh. what a failure. hahaha so we only got to poo's house at 1plus? which was madness. and the house looked dead. everyone asleep. and she didnt switch on her phone!! so we had to call her house phone and woke the whole family up which was really not nice. but her parents were being so nice about it i felt worse. so before she came out i hid in the little box while they tried (but failed) to light the candles. and the box was LITTLE and i was dying in there they were still happily chatting away. thank goodness christl told her to open the "present" first or else i'd just be stuck in that awkward position forever. haha but it was interesting. like a jackinthebox! just that i couldnt exactly pop out.

so we went in and ate.. just talked.. and got really fascinated by her two new hamsters that are absolutely adorable. at 2am in the morning. and we attempted taking pictures. but it was so badd. we cant even take a proper picture with all four of us visible! for some odd reason. because normally it was no problem at all. so we were determined. haha it was damn funny though. i think we woke the estate up with our hysterical laughter. maybe its just being in that state when ure between awake and asleep. but yeah pictures were hilarious. narcissistic christl.. always ending up taking pictures of herself only. and ella after a while she didnt even bother smiling anymore cos she knew it wouldnt turn out good. ohwell. but in the end we succeeded! with much perseverence. hahahaha. so that was the end of the night but though it was just a short short while it was nice.

today was the terry fox run! dammit. it was a perfectly nice weather to sleep in. and got the wake up call at 6am though i slept near 3?! yeahh. but the rain was gorgeous. its the kind of rain i'd like to run in and jump around in do cartwheels with the gymmers in. minus the horrifying lightning of course. met keevin at the lobby and we braved the rain to the guardhouse. jumping everytime lightning lit up the sky. funny. hahaha then we cabbed down to harbourfront to meet up with the rest! they cancelled the 8km though for safety reasons. ohwell. it was freezing cold lar but after the run we sat on the rocks enjoying the sea breeze. it was so calming. i never wanted to get up and leave. just sit there forever and ever and ever. if only there wasnt that nagging voice at the back of my head yelling PROMOS! damn promos. go away i dont like you. but yeah i really respect terry fox. he ran for 143 days and more than 5000 km. that is a hell of a long journey. especially for someone running with a prosthetic leg and suffering from cancer.

i was a very impulsive shopper today. thats what stress does to you. and now im staring at all the merchandise and regretting all the splurging :(






its times like this when you realise how fragile life is. and its when the regrets come in. but always too late. i do regret. never ever having a real actual conversation with you. i wish there wasnt the communication barrier. but though we've never been close.. i'd miss your presence during chinese new year and all those festive occasions where u'd just flash the toothy smile and acknowledge a greeting. before we go about talking to other people we can actually understand. and i felt so lost so confused today. didnt know what to do didnt know where to go afraid of being disrespectful. and when i saw the tense expression on their faces trying to hold the tears in.. i dont know. its just all so sad.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:08

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:05

the gift! good for storage haha

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:05

happy birthday, girl!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:04

teammates :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:03

birthday cleopatra!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:03

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

the gym visit was.. nostalgic. i know im late with updating about it.. but its just something id like to remember. i just wish more of us went back. there was this point of time near the end of training.. when everyone was just huddled around the tramp/uneven bars area and just talking. i remember at that moment how i felt so contented and wished time would stop. cos.. i dont know. i just stepped back from my conversation and looked around for that moment and everyone looked so happy and comfortable. basically. i love my juniors. and i loved the gym earring (note: singular) they did for each of us. haha new fashion statement alright :D haha and the beach slippers. love love.

maf was. disappointing. maybe all the hooha made me expect a lot from it. but the light up was nice no doubt. pretty star. and pretty lanterns. but it was just way too chaotic and too many people. people is good. i like people. but just dont overdo it.

and im certain the end of the world is here. or at least coming. yesterday peibei and i were stranded in chancery cold storage because of the freaky thunderstorm. we were stranded for an hour plus? yeah and at 6pm it looked like it was already 8pm. and the flashes of lightning illuminated the whole sky it looked like 2pm. ive got pictures to prove it! its so weird. and it seems all so "the day after tomorrow"-ish. like the sudden changes in climate plus there is hurricane katrina and the earthquake in papua new guinea. did you know.. the inhabitants of papua new guinea are cannibals?! or so i heard. not too sure about that. but thats just freaky. imagine u happily go on a holiday and u get hunted as food. ouch. so anyway. we were trying ways and means to get out of cold storage and go elsewhere. but the lightning was just too freaky. and then suddenly the air con stopped and the sliding doors stopped moving the lights flickered on and off! lightning struck the building i think. which is scary. gah. so since we were stranded we amused ourselves with phototaking in a supermarket. stupid, yes. but there wasnt much else to do.

i need more determination. more self-discipline. i used to have more of those. where have they gone :(

and maybe i came down a little hard on you. but im just letting you know. i dont want you to run away again. please dont. everyone makes mistakes. you just have to learn from it. i said i wont leave. but now youre the one who wants to do just that.

and im very sad. because the picture we took with the juniors before we left the gym got CORRUPTED. i swear im that close to throwing the camera at the wall. that good-for-nothing piece of technology. okay. my bad. i should just learn how to take care of my things. but im sad. because i liked that picture a lot. and we dont get to take these that often :(

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:38

sarah in the midst of her 900. oooooh.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:32

HAHA dont they look like ants carrying food. so cute. last time we used to need 5 people to carry a hai mian bao. now we need an army! hahaha

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:31

september babies

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:31

the lights

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:30

piggy sisters :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:30

this was 7pm

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:30

within seconds of the first picture

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:29

peibei being silly.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:29

sepia's a pretty effect

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:29

Saturday, September 10, 2005

thank you everyone for a happy though grudging 17th (:

thanks piggy sisters wujuan mel noe for coming bright and early at 9am in the morning.. and leilei and liwen for the intention too :D haha people seem to like to wake me up for my birthday surprises! noe.. those unglamorous pictures of me sleeping are only going to be seen by me and you :S dont u dare mass send it anywhere! thanks for the cake and noe for the balloons and the card.. i really didnt see this one coming. heh. you guys gave the day a great start :D

thanks christl and ella for the late nite surprise.. though not exactly a trail of roses at my doorstep like u planned.. the torn up pieces of magazine paper made it more interesting.. haha. and yeah the forgotten birthday present is still in christl's house at this minute i didnt really need it cos i had u guys! haha corny and cheesy but true. these things are cliche for a reason. but yes the surprise really came late and when christl asked me out for supper it was getting pretty obvious. hahaha and i wish u guys could have stayed over till morning instead of leaving in the wee hours of.. what 3am? im sorry for the trouble say sorry to daddy yong too please. driving at 3am must suck.

thanks daddy mommy (haha theyre definitely not reading this but yeah it wouldnt be right not to thank them would it) for the dinner in the nice and fancy restaurant with the breathtaking view 70 storeys up. and for the interesting french cuisine that somehow didnt satisfy the way hokkien mee from newton would. but the deco was really pretty a horizontal chandelier! whos ever thought of that.

thanks sammmm for the mocha "mooncake" with the soggy oreo biscuit. i know the "party" was meant to be a surprise and all if not for the little hiccups along the way.. having it called off and then deciding to have it again just a simple affair. heh at least jerald was still surprised. but i guess everybody wasnt really in the mood today huh. uhh.

haha too many surprises just get a little too scary sometimes :S mel says theres a part two coming up in one months time?! thats seriously.. far-sighted. i bet shes just bullshitting me to keep me in suspense. booo. dinner with my sisters (the real ones that are related to me by blood) just now was funny. but im FULL beyond full. full is now an understatement. and we made plans to go snowskiing in korea at the end of the year! ooohyeah. sounds like fun doesnt it :D

okay so its time to start accepting the fact that im 17 and that i cant do anything about it. so might as well start enjoying it right? i love you people all of you :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 16:08

piggy sisters! :D excuse the pjs, please.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:04

my really chocolatey chocolate cake

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:03

daddy me mel mommy

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:03

uhhh. boo.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:02

the reign of the retards

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:01

sadly the three of us didnt take any proper photos :(

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:01

peibei (: its been a while

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:00

pretty sky near chancery

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:57

Thursday, September 08, 2005

sadly, peter pan never came for me :(

but anyhow, thank you all of you for ur sms-es and the birthday wishes (: really thats what birthdays are all about now.. as we get older no longer presents.. no little parties where u dress up in that princess-y dress and blow out the candles followed by unwrapping of all the parents ur friends, or rather the parents of ur friends, got for you. and honestly i think its better this way :D so you dont have to give me anything thank you very much. i feel loved enough as it is. heh.

i remember arguing with jon over the importance of birthdays. to him, it was just another day. the sun still rises in the east and sets in the west, you still wake up and go about your daily routine and all that. boo mr pessimistic. look on the bright side man. haha i think birthdays are really damn special. its like YOUR day when everything u do wrong can be forgiven and the world revolves around you! haha ok not quite. but something to that effect. and its when the messages start coming you in youre glad people remembered and that they cared enough. dont you think?

but now, i dunno. haha i really hate turning seventeen. right now, im conventionally seventeen. but technically, im still sixteen! i came into this world at like 4plus in the afternoon. so ive still got a few more hours of sixteen-hood to treasure. sorry keevin for putting up with my wailing and whining on the way home BUT I REALLY DONT WANT TO BE SEVENTEEN! gahh. sweet sweet sixteen. and he said that i should take a picture then, and after midnight.. and it will still look the same! well yeah thats true.. but thats not the point! it gave me an idea though.. you dont really know when people change.. but suddenly u look back at pictures and theyve grown fatter thinner taller etc. so im going to try to take a picture of myself like every single day (narcissistic i know).. but itd be pretty cool if like at the age of 65 i have this scrapbook full of my daily pictures and i can see how ive changed as the days went by. coool eh! stroke of genius i must say :D haha but then again.. u see how u age too. u see the increasing amount of white hair.. the wrinkles.. all the signs of aging slowly start to appear. haha but what the hell. id probably give up on this little project within a week. its just an interesting idea though.

and thank you mel wenyi keevin biondi for the surprise just now. the treat at swenson's, the mango tango ice cream cake, the fun. thanks guys (: haha though the whole suspense thing was pretty damn scary. i was wondering what the hell you guys had up your sleeves. u know.. the whole fear of the unknown thing. yep. but yeah it was funny when mel's singing caused the pots behind the ice cream counter to come crashing down :P how timely. tsk. and lanterns and candles at xiao gui lin was fun too. albeit a little too spooky. the deep dark lake with wenyi's little story that didnt exactly help the situation. and there was this woman that kept singing with that melancholic tune it was seriously freaking us out. plus it got us pretty pissed off after a while too. haha but yeah i enjoyed the last few moments of being sixteen alright.

hey thanks for somewhat standing up for me. or for just have that feeling of righteousness. haha yes im touched though you dont want to hear any of these mushy thank yous. hahaha. sorry that all the planning didnt really work out. but at least it was the thought that counts. its just such a waste though, i thot it'd be fun :( boo you. and i miss you! somehow your initiative is enough to make me smile. haha there are stuff that only you know i know and maybe that was the reason for u to feel happy for me or something. hahahaha. nevermind. incoherent bullshit.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:23

the people that made it happen :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:19

birthday girl? hahahaha not quite.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:18

ooh kinky. spot psychotic me!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:18

BURN baby burn.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:17

we look kinda spooky

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:16

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:16

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:15

sisters!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:13

we left our mark!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:12

wenyi me mel biondi keevin

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:11

funny face!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:06

sisters: there to help you walk every step of the way (:

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:04

we took the lift up to the mrt platform! fascinating

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:03

random bug i was told to pose with :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:01

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

happy birthday christl!!!

mm just came back from giving christl her surprise celebration.. boo it was fun :D met up with ella at 11plus so that we could go prepare for the celebration.. enlisted the help of her brother to get us into the house and stuff.. we arranged tealight candles on the floor of her garage right in front of the door.. and they spelt "happy 17".. the candles kept going out tho.. so when we got most of them lighted up we quickly told clarisse to go in and call her sis.. so christl came down and saw us, saw what we did and her jaw just hung open for like 2 whole minutes.. and we sang the birthday song both english and chinese versions...

only to realise it wasnt even 12 midnight yet. hahahaha damn loser lar.. we are such failures. my goodness. so she was still sixteen! we actually planned on having half an hour for the whole preparation but i guess we were too efficient our something so we got everything ready in 10minutes. and we totally completely forgot about the time factor. BOOO. so we shoo-ed her back into the house so that we could wait till midnight but she just came back out within seconds. haha dammn. at least she was still surprised lar. only that it came a little early :S heh. so we just kept relighting each candle that went out so that we could snap pictures and christl herself started lighting them. whoops. after that we just sat around.. waiting for all the candles to extinguish one by one..

talked about stuff and recorded a video of what its like being 17. saying how it aint really a turning point in our life. like how 16 gets u legal for lots of stuff but 17 is just the age when ure neither here nor there. when u sort of lapse into a kind of in-between? damn funny video. and they were laughing about how i was still 16. hey sweet sixteen alright. im still 16! happily 16. never wanting to be past 16. tsk ella and christl.. so old already arhhh. pbffft. hahah okay silly. followed by clean up. peeled and scratched all the wax off the floor so that we wouldnt get whacked for totally messing up her garage floor :S ohh then christl's daddy came back.. and they have the same birthday! aint it coool. to have the same birthday as ur daddy. hahaha ok maybe its not that big a deal to anyone else. haha its just cool.

so i was saying like half the month's gone. haha just depends on how you look at it. cos seriously september's the month of birthdays. it just is. and we've already celebrated two. out of four. gym-wise. for our batch at least. so yeah half the month's gone already :( less fun coming up. boo. but today was good fun. just sat around for two hours talking about absolutely nothing in particular. left the place at 1.30? which is.. late. haha tired! its been a long and tiring day.. but im glad she was still pleasantly surprised (:

maybe before the clock strikes midnight peter pan would come and fly me to never never land. just maybe. then i'd never have to grow up (: and i wont reach 17. (plus id get a bonus of having cute jeremy sumpter as peter pan). somehow that age just spells uncertainty.. of being at a very odd age. i dont know. i'll just feel so lost. i just dont like seventeen. i guess with each year that passes the concept of age just keeps getting scarier.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:50

the shocked girl

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:47

the message

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:46

lots of love

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:46

we look like a tangle of limbs. but ohsopretty candles.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:45

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:45

us: (laughing hysterically) take the damn picture already charles!!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:45

happy christl prancing around. she went a little loony with joy

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:44

sweet smellin' feeet

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:43

like a candle in the wind.. *imagine christl's "singing"

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:43

the brother in the gay shirt he wears at home :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:40

the birthday girl <3

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:35

psychotic scary ella. note: never offend this girl.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:33

didn't your mommy ever tell you not to play with fire.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:30

attempt 1: in case anyone's wondering.. that black shadow of ella's and my face is christl's hair :S

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:29