Friday, March 30, 2007

yesterday we took a trip down to arab street, which was really nothing much except for the textiles, or maybe we were looking in all the wrong places. there was this shop selling pretty paintings that i really want up on my wall next time, but thats gotta wait till i get my own house because my mom's still gonna insist on all her silk embroidery. then there was this toy store with all those mini car models and dogs that can somersault haha from a longlost childhood.

then we tried our luck with the donut queue. the queue is still impossible and i am sad :( i want my donuts. one day, one day. (does anyone know if perth has krispykremes or dunkin donuts?) sam says he'll drive me there someday bright and early in the morning and then we can be the first customers :D waking up early beats standing in queue for hours seriously. had soup, i love soupspoon! after that train-ed back to brian's place and omg i love his house i want to steal it. he's got a gramophone (just without the big horn), two boxes full of vinyl records- frank sinatra, nat king cole, bill withers!!- and a dining table that morphes into a pooltable which also morphs into a blackjack table. haha his dad fixed it, what a genius. heheh we did silly stuff, like measuring our heights with apples. well its cos smurfs are three apples tall and tada that was how this idea was born.



look at that gorgeous vintage thing!


and we played poool. HA i won!


and of course, tapooo. shes so adorable i wish she'd follow me home. there was this point when she put her paw on my tummy and leaned her head on it and that was when i totally fell in love hahaha.

skating with sammy today yay the usual back way to novena, and then bombing the hill on the way back. ooh i love that feeling its so exhilarating. and I CAN ACID DROP AGAIN! sam made me acid drop down this higher step and the first time is always the hardest. it really is so similar to gym, haha i think i bring my fears from gym to skating too. but yes i did a perfect acid drop at the end and it felt so good because i think even in the past when i learnt it i never really felt quite so confident. its all in the mind.


NANYANG cap :D




poseuuuur.



CHANCERY BBQ THIS SATURDAY OOOH :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:51

new york, new york says:
friendships need MAINTENANCE u know
new york, new york says:
theyre not like some volunteer welfare organisation dammit

im so sick of people like that.
use, and dispose.
sorry im not doing this anymore. ugh.
and sometimes its so blatant, so in-your-face,
you'd think they'd try to be more discreet.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:11

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Siege says:
shld have a term for these
Siege says:
the Ungodly Hour Chats
Siege says:
UHC
new york, new york says:
UHU
Siege says:
Ungodly Hour shit there is nothing starting with U
Siege says:
Ungodly Hour Umbrellas
new york, new york says:
what about UIC
Siege says:
ICU2

random, random.
umbrellas?!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 05:09

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

life exchange
what if life is just this huge boardgame,
where you place your stakes, take a risk,
would you give up love for riches,
would you trade health for prestige?
what things in life are simply non-negotiable?

i found it sad how on the machine, power and wealth are almost sold out, while love and health are still lighted green for sale. it really shows how we stink at ranking our priorities in this society, doesnt it.

and today when i was having one of the university conversations with christl (which is all we seem to talk about now anyway boo) , she asked me what was important to me, outside of my future career.. and how much of these things im willing to sacrifice for the career. ive always said that prestige to me counts for nothing, well i wish the financial aspect of it counted for nothing too, but i guess we all have to be practical. i think sometimes i get so carried away by all my ideals that i get so confused, because theres only so far ideals can carry you.

but i know that love is something that id never compromise on, love which translates to people, family, friends. i was thinking about medicine, and how it would practically suck me dry in the years to come. sure im interested in it and all, but would there be time? time for myself, time for people. i accidentally told a stranger, i dont want to be a slave to my career, when he asked why im so hesitant about medicine. only to get a do i look like a slave to you? whoops. i guess it boils down to passion too, passion which im not a hundred percent sure i possess.


anyway, i went back to nanyang again with christl. drank honeydew milk :D ate waffles, saw the jc students coming back in a mixture of uniforms, walked around the art gallery area, taking mugshots, and getting weird stares from teo yong hong. its sad she doesnt remember us anymore :( hey my drawings were pinned up on those boards before and now we're just a forgotten name. well the life exchange machine was one of the art pieces probably some aep olevel project. i think its such an awesome idea, and so so true. see, nanyang talent. sat in the heritage room, with all the past generations of nanyang school uniforms hanging in glass cabinets looking like floating ghosts. the heritage room always stroke fear in me esp during camps and those night performances :\ headed up to the gym, and there were all these girls on the third floor, with transparent sheets pasted on the windows, and they were drawing out the detail of the nanyang school building, down to every brick, every crack in the wall. so coool.. i wish we did that too. at the gym, there was not a single familiar face, except for those in still frames hung on the wall. ohgosh what bad hair we had, what weird glasses we had, what weirdos we were hahaha. the first meeting with the secones, we are your seniors that graduated three years ago. wu lao shi was there, haha ive never spoken so much to her before, cos wang was usually there. god my chinese is so bad now.

i thought this art project was damn cute,
although a little lame hurhur.


look at them baked beans! haha wearing stylo mylo sunglasses sunbathing!

and here's to you juniors!

ella once told me:
start enjoying your tao, because ten years later its not the medal youre going to remember.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:39

Monday, March 26, 2007

and people always disappoint.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:24

Everything Changes by Staind

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
Would it change how you feel?

I am the mess you chose
The closet you cannot close,
The devil in you I suppose
'Cause the wounds never heal.

But everything changes
If I could turn back the years
If you could learn to forgive me
Then I could learn to feel,
Sometimes the things I say
In moments of disarray
Succumbing to the games we play
To make sure that it's real.

When it's just me and you.
Who knows what we could do.
If we can just make it through
The toughest part of the day.

Stay here together
And we could
Conquer the world
If we could
Say that forever
Is more than just a word.

If you just walked away
What could I really say?
Would it matter anyway?
It wouldn't change how you feel.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:30

Sunday, March 25, 2007

life's been plain, nothing new but the usual. so there hasnt been much to say, except for my usual emotional roller coasters. i've met a few people this week, that i havent seen in a while though. so that's good. i met noe and lei (: and i went back to sji gym.. haha i just heard that the funniest thing happened to wang, omg i dont know how his pride is going to take it. i saw jon ho's routine, and yay im glad that he's doing well. he still hasnt lost my pa1, and i hope he gets that individual gold. heehee ernest got a beatles haircut, and he and ezra look exactly the same :\ it was hongrui's birthday, and i got lost in a maze of hdb flats till i finally made it to his doorstep with a melting cake. but yay im glad i ditched the laziness for the surprise.

but sometimes,
when all i do is try to make everyone else happy,
i get crap at the end of the day,
and i wonder what it's all worth.

okay im just going to let the pictures do most of the talking.


chermaine, and whip cream, and aqua mt. spring water


clara, and jack johnson was on the stereo.
(no we dont have a new flavour)

hwachong gymmers!

it was just xiaolongbaos and lamian, then we went to mindcafe, and played saboteur which was really fun yay. "scoop u!" and annoying peihan imitating my actions, sigh he is a good specimen indeed. i love my highflyers!

mel popped my florist yesterday (: wow it has been a while hasnt it? ha its interesting, we both made the first move on the same day, just that mine has a delayed effect. ohwell it was nice seeing you again sistar. and we bought yellow roses for each other again haha, just like old times.

then peibei and i snuck out with peyyann for supper, since he's leaving for australia, and i wont be seeing him in a month. i feel proud of myself, because i skated half the way to the rail mall from home, alone. ive never really dared to skate alone, maybe the fact that it was 1am and there was no one around helped. yikes i fell off my deck twice! embarrassing, but not like there was anyone there to watch. im going to miss these late nights out, walking and talking and eating. because the nights are so alive, and id much rather spend it out there in the crisp night air then in front of the computer screen, seriously.

i watched TMNT today (: i love michelangeloooo. he's so cute. and i like how theyre named after all the renaissance artists. well it wasnt all that fab, but id still watch the sequel for the turtles :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:32

Sunday, March 18, 2007

me, christl.

ha im proud of how fast i accomplish my goals! within two days of setting the goal to go back to the gym, ive already been back twice! whee its been fun. except that i feel so old and brittle, everytime i land back on the tramp my back hurts a little. and for the whole of the next day i had a dull ache in my back and neck it makes me feel so pathetic. and even though it hurt i just kept jumping and jumping cos its such a rare chance nowadays.

well thursday was the day i went back with christl.. and i went back to both gyms too! its a plus point that they're across the road from each other, but i havent been back to sji yet oops. anw at hc they open the bouncy high tramp already so we can go back and play :D i dont know how i did my adiv routine there last time though, it strikes slight fear in me now :( then we walked back to nanyang, the sidegate was closed again. so we walked the long way around, across the walls plastered with gorgeous artwork. we have so much talent. when we got back to the gym, the juniors just ended training hahaha and wang acted like he was gonna faint upon seeing us heehee. made him force the juniors to jian cha for us yay and theyre pretty awesome! then he went to get lunch wahh finally he allows us to stay in the gym by ourselves. thats how much the level of trust goes up when we graduate i guess. christl and i tried to synchro again but failed miserably :(


juniors! not very well taken :\


hello spaz!


i thought this was cute. silly juniors. i remember how we'd get chalk on our hands and leave palmprints on each other's fbts!


trampoline love! they look like they are doing the beng jiao jian thing in the second pic haha its second-nature now!


we tried to take pictures with our beautiful quadrangle, but we sucked so we just took picture of the quadrangle.

after training, we went to coro cosy corner again (: like a typical training day. too bad our bubble tea stall aint there no more. its funny how in nanyang we went to coro so much, but in hc though it is within walking distance i hardly ever went there. we sat at table no.: FLOOR next to our good old friend ahu! hahaha food, and talk about university and stuff, xiaozhu just listening and probably planning her grand future ahead. we went through neoprints heehee soo hilarious. its like a fad, long past. went to j8 and watched stomp the yard omg it was fun wasnt it. i think we were pretty loud in the show, when we cringed at the cheesiness at some parts and other stuff. but the guy's freestyle is pretty cool. we were totally high after that, i think the bagshop people thought we were crazy. i dont even know what we were high on, but we just couldnt stop laughing. and we even met poo, who was supposed to meet us but couldnt meet us and yet we met her by chance, and this is what we call fate. okay cheesy. YAY that was good, that was laughing until i had such a stitch, but i wish we'd hung out instead of watching the show.

the previous night was dinner at newyork, newyork :D with the juniors to celebrate meiying's birthday! we sat there for three whole hours till it was almost closing.. trying to dig into the juniors' love lives, boy are they flourishing. haha christl calls it the jc-omgboysexist-syndrome haha. and peirong ordered the giant yankee burger which was fit for four people but she almost finished it herself! haha the waiter came by and asked her if she actually finished it, and then went around telling his colleagues and she was so embarrassed she hid under her jacket for most of the time. my xiaozhu is so damn funny sometimes im speechless. happy birthday meiying! i hope u had nice dinners, if you know what i mean :D


newyork, cotton candy, brown anonymous object, christl and juniors (:





hahahaha love love (:

HAHA three people have asked me about my insomnia, cos of the song i've been playing on repeat. its quite funny, because it didnt occur to me but come to think of it, its actually quite apt since i have trouble sleeping, sometimes. the song's good anyway.

watch 300! it was pretty good. im glad i watched it, by chance, since i wasnt planning to watch it at first. cos ive heard about how it was a typical male show, full of sex and violence. well it didnt disappoint on that account, but i guess the rest of the movie completely redeemed it, and its better than all the other shows ive watched recently! ha seems like i dont have good picks for movies :( so yeah i think spartans have admirable courage and valour. spartan women give birth to real men! haha. but their physique is seriously scary, i dont think even the usa gymnasts are that bulky! after the movie, we walked all the way back home from choa chu kang, the ghost stories weren't pleasant. but i love these nightwalks. it never really seems all that far, walking to wherever with good friends and good conversation.


in work news,
the florist now sells helium balloons! gosh im in love with the walking duck one, i want to walk it home! the guy from osim opposite our shop took it for a short stroll and put it on the silly flabelos machine. omg everyone from the shops around us were so amused. we have a walking sausage dog too but i think its pretty hideous. so yeah helium balloons are cool so come buyy :D the florist is fun cos we sing mambo and tell ghost stories and gossip about the bosses hahaha.



doren made this bridal bouquet, and its soo pretty!

these two days ive been working double shifts, both the florist and b&j's in the same day so travelling is hell. yday morning i worked with pam and these adorable pair of twins came and gave us a flying kiss hahaha so cute. and we sold a cake! but today was such a bad start to the workday because these two annoying boys came along and tried almost every flavour and walked off omg have a sense of shame please. i was struggling so hard to keep that fake smile plastered on my face because all i wanted to do was scowl at them and tell them i never want to see or serve them ever again and how mean they were being! RAWR. i honestly cant believe people actually have the nerve. but after that things were okay and sales were very good i think, we passed our target by quite a lot so yay sense of satisfaction. but when we were closing there was this group of people who were just sitting there and talking, refusing to budge. so chermaine blasted home on repeat and kept singing at the important parts. haha i think it was a not-so-subtle hint but it was quite funny haha.

note to chermaine: i hope you're feeling better about the whole FF thing! cheer up i'll be working with you again next friday so YAY i'll just compromise and let you play your sclub songs i just hope u get sick of them quick heh. stay and teach me cakes, promise it'll be all heart and soul into it yeah! and quick upload and send me photos!


i got my badge! finally. and new scoopy shirt cos dawn went with me to get some more!




well sam came to pick me up after that. and we drove down the expressway, windows rolled down and music blasting, three voices filling the air. gosh it felt so good to just sing at the top of our voices, cos no one else can hear us (i hope). and my parents never drive with the windows down, so it was nice having the wind in my hair (since sam doesnt have any heheh) and the cold air against my face. this is the reason why i want to drive, the only reason i guess. and then we sat downstairs in the car for awhile, just talking, and as we talked the tears started flowing i cant really grasp why. i've been so happy lately, completely content with everything thats happening for me right now, most of it anyway. i wonder if im suppressing anything, or maybe ive just been too happy lately i needed a good cry. that is some warped logic :\ oh whatever. sammy, can you please stop pinching me everytime i get off the car! he's got this pet peeve about people slamming the car door hahaha. weirdo!


Too real is this feeling of make believe
Too real when I feel what my heart can't conceal.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:57

Thursday, March 15, 2007

seriously, people like you
is not what i want in my life right now
so please walk away.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:50

a trip down memory lane yesterday,
and this was what i ended up with.


myspaztwin!


ellarrrr.


poooo.


teammates, six years and more (:
red mambo teambags, the wacky poses that we repeat year after year, piggybacking, superheroes, upside down trophies, THE FUNDANCE haha much to wang's pleasure (i still cant believe that photo is up on the ny gym wall)


wenn!


my september babies,
with which ive spent the past six years of birthdays with without fail. starting with kaier's house, water bombs and whip cream fights, to study sessions and icecream on wen's doorstep. and last year our legal year, trying to get drunk on root beer hahaha.


so this is all that nanyang gym brought me. it really was a wacky six years, plus nag outings gym chalets and competitions post graduation and stuff. what a ride.


and this is hwachong gym, an unexpected find especially with our school histories hahaha. the high of post competitions i'll never forget (just look at those faces man), carried forward to the next day at school where we crashed math lectures and doodled on each other's organisers.



the best times, captured in these still frames.
MUCH LOVE, MY GYMMERS!

i notice how this is a periodic cycle thing,
every once in a while, gym just comes back and haunts me (in a way). well maybe its because ive been seeing so much of the juniors lately. more teammates-junior-time tomorrow YAY (:

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:29

new york, new york says:
anw i got something for you
well let's not get swept away says:
she meh?
well let's not get swept away says:
a diamond ring?
well let's not get swept away says:
a vintage jaguar?
well let's not get swept away says:
a swimming pool?


well lets not get too carried away hahaha.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 02:43

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

hello sunshine, come into my life.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:18

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

yesterday was work at ben&jerry's, and i really love working weekends. i love the high of the adrenaline rush, when ure kept on your toes and there aint a point of time when we have nothing to do. like there was this point when there was actually a seven people queue i think and boy thats hard to come by at greatworld, and i handled them all one after another because aizah was eating and francis was making coffee. like scoop, get payment, scoop get payment woosh. and in the midst of all that busy-ness, we've had quite a lot of fun. like i conquered the napkin fan thing FINALLY. haha i think aizah's blood pressure went up quite a bit just trying to teach me that. i think she found me quite impossible. along with my clumsiness and short term memory. i realise you cant multitask! that is quite true too. i also conquered the whipcream bottle yeahhhh. now my whipcream doesnt look like white blobs of rubbish on the icecream anymore :D we all had a part in making the waffle stuff, she switched on the machine, he took out the batter, and i put in the ladle. hahaha it was quite funny cos we were kinda claiming the rights to the waffle-making that day. heehee amusing, the somewhat talking about customers being the dipcase cos some of them were really difficult and others were plain weird oops. and and i was on such a roll selling the chocolate dips that peimin and i love to play with hahaha i actually sold three of them almost immediately after i made them they werent even dry yet! so i kept making and making and eating too haha it rocks everyone should get chocolate dips. then aizah spotted jeannette aw and we totally stalked her. i think we must have been pretty funny, running out into the corridor wearing the moomoo aprons and holding the napkin fans in our hands, staring until she went down the escalator and walked out of sight tsk! and we had a slight belgian waffle mishap cos of the batter ee it got kind of scary cos the people had to wait for super long but its okay cos we solved it in the end thank god. i got so HIGH i love work.


candice/regina
my napkin fan YAY/ belgium waffle mishap :\

we had some company dinner for the florist yesterday night after work, and i was so beat i fell asleep on xinyan's dad's cab home. well at first i felt totally out of place and awkward and i wanted to sneak out for food in a less suffocating setting with a friend. suffocating because the setting was a long table with candles and dim light, rose petals trailing down the table, slow jazz playing in the background, wine being served, and bookshelves lining the wall. just imagine it. its the kind of place where u talk with low voices and laugh softly, politely. but slowly i warmed up to the people beside me and started talking, having fun. sitting next to the boss makes me kinda nervous though and he still cant stop making fun of my highclass-ness which doesnt exist. aiya she's used to eating in this kind of five-star restaurants la he said, which earned me an are you rich? from the girl sitting next to me. rawr. it was interesting because of the eighteen people present, there were fifteen females, and three males. one being the boss, another the father-in-law i think, and the last one a driver. he only hires flowergirls! haha but the drivers are nice, there was this driver that happened to come by the shop one day and went to oldchangkee to buy us curry puffs! so girls being girls, indulged in our favourite activity (apparently) and took so so many photos haha. well at least that lightened the atmosphere abit, when we got out of our chairs and finally moved around the room.


dinner place
bukitpanjang branch flowergirls/my company at dinner!


the flowergirls/like a family photo
cheryl/dolphin and angela


photowhoring,
east and west!



and thankyou people for coming to visit me at greatworld though its incredibly out of the way. brian popped down the day after he came back, after a month long absence! and then my sister happened to walk past, totally forgetting that i worked there and i accidentally scared her by grabbing onto her arm and i forgot i shouldnt do that cos shes pregnant and her friend nagged at me boo. and mr.anonymous came down too (i dont know why the anonymity but it was a request) haha and he called it the Great Waiting Challenge (Great World City) cos he had to wait for me to get off work, then wait for me get changed for the florist dinner, and then wait for the bus with me which took ages. it was kind of funny cos he was so exasperated that i didnt even know what bus to take and where to stop. well its a bus stop i never took from before!

a few days ago peibei hongrui peyyann and daniel also came down to the florist after i ended work so we sat and starbucks and chilled, thinking of possible late night programs which eventually didnt happen heheh. it was funny watching peibei and peyyann being silly, having silly standoffs and ridiculous arguments. and they call me childish TSK. u give me my ic i give u your straw. HAHA damn stupid. today hongrui brought a friend down to order bouquets and then we went to pasar malam (i love pasar malams and cartoon pjs) FOOD omg i was starving and coffeeshop and some random void deck to talk and burn paper, watching the flame thrive on the oxygen. i dont like the reason why he's carrying the lighter around though. and he gave me a pick with a rose on it haha flower maiden. and then we shouted for yihui, cos we were near his block,
hongrui: law! (cos that was yihui's surname)
me: medicine!
HAHA i think he almost punched me.

i saw mrs lau at the plaza just now, my kindergarten teacher. i used to be so scared of her cos she's got this stern look and she pinches my chubby cheeks alot and it hurts cos she pinches really really hard :( and she asked me about my alevel results and looked happy for me yay. asked me where i was going to for uni, and i told her the possibility of uk and was like dont go uk! then i wont be able to see youu. awww. even though now while im singapore i still hardly see her, but i guess being here would make unexpected meetings along hallways alot more probable.

i spoke to meiying yesterday, seeing as how her nick looked so emo and depressing. well certain juniors have left the hwachong team, and though ive been trying to persuade them otherwise i guess certain things overruled gym and teammates (and i dont mean this in a negative way). and then i fell asleep on the tv just when she was telling me her problems and she went offline before i could reply and i felt like such a terrible senior :( so i smsed her, and after training today she sent me a msg "Because of you i was brave! Love you!" and that just made me so happy (: although what i did was little, and mostly it was her doing it for herself and pulling out the courage that shes always had in her, it felt nice. i know i havent physically been present at their trainings which sucks because comp is omg a month and six days away AHH. but i feel better being able to help them with even an sms or a phonecall.

current goal: VISIT THE GYM.

i finally updated my pretty address book from prints. i realise the importance of addresses since christmas last year, scurrying at the last minute to get addresses of people down for christmas cards, thus giving away the element of surprise. and this time im going to aussie i feel like writing postcards cos i think about how i like receiving postcards too. its funny, i think i vaguely remember ellar wrote us postcards but didnt know how to send them so she was gonna give them to us instead. i dont think she has though haha. next to everyones name i wrote down what i remember them for, or who they are in my life, because i hope this addressbook will stay with me through life and maybe when people have walked out of my life this would remind me of how they were like in my memory those many years ago.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 03:44

Monday, March 12, 2007

work was truly awesome today,
and im feeling very happily exhausted.
so i shall leave the details till tomorrow
and go watch some badminton
so i can fall asleep in front of the tv.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 00:53

Thursday, March 08, 2007

classmates!


yay juniors (:

those were taken on results day. little miss sunshine was supposed to bring cheer to people. and my little miss scatterbrain was at vj! omg we have so many matching shirts now.


and this is what ben&jerry's gwc is like, i guess. good people, good fun. pam made us pegs with alphabet spaghetti spelling our names, so we could all hang up our caps. so cute :D i still hate closing, but closing with peimin and pam that day left me feeling very satisfied, while we played paper basketball into the trashcan, and chocolate dip with sprinkles!

i feel alot better at work,
i hate busrides.

im better, maybe ive been too bitter about things. ive had people to talk to, knock some sense into me, so im okay now.

a few random good things have happened to me though.

peibei came by the florist yesterday, and gave me a sunflower. which she bought from my shop. HAHA it was abrupt and pretty funny. like hello xinyi, happy working (gives me sunflower) bye i go eat. thankyou anyhow. sunflowers are starting to grow on me with their happiness and cheer.

i went to my favourite starbucks outlet again yesterday. havent been there in a long, long while because the coffee prices are starting to look painful. but i decided to reward myself for i-have-no-idea-what. the ladies there were super nice, and one of them i recognise, recognises me too! from all those morning-to-night study sessions camped at one corner of their outlet. i was wondering how come you havent come in so long.. aww. haha im remembered! they took a polaroid of me (AHH POLAROID I LOVE I LOVE) with my favourite drink and that was weird cos i hate taking photos alone. but it was nice, and i chatted with them at the counter before i went off. see you again soon. yes you will hah.

aye my florist boss keeps saying ive a good life and that im pampered RAWR. but i can finally FINALLY fold a french bow now and that rocks because i thought its something id never ever ever master. i feel like such a kid there again, im the kid everywhere! im getting emotionally attached to my jobs, like how i get emotionally attached to everything else in the world. how?

Oh yes, I'm the great pretender
Pretending that I'm doing well
My need is such; I pretend too much
I'm lonely but no one can tell.
-The Platters

i looove their songs, right now. im so into oldies, its unnatural. but i heard the guy being interviewed on radio the other day and i just totally fell in love with his voice mmm. serenade me! haha

im watching manyoo match later with company YAY for company. else i think id just end up falling asleep. again. caffeine will help me make it through tomorrow, it will.

on me, travelling,
likely you're gonna get mugged
after all backpacking 7 yr olds just scream "KIDNAP ME!"
in bold italics and underlined words above their heads
HURHUR.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:10

Monday, March 05, 2007

hello sunshine,
come into my life.

i like jack johnson's songs alot right now, because they sound happy and they've got silly names like banana pancakes and bubble toes. pam and i discovered we have the same taste in music, which revolves around indie, emo (rock) etc etc and we are happy and now we cant wait to work together so we can explore each other's music libraries. we blasted deathcab on repeat tonight, emo emo. i need to stop emoing alone at night till the wee hours. its not healthy.

i realise alot of me is very unhealthy now.

i got out, took a stroll, went to our playground for conversation. we just sat on the park bench littered with correction fluid. its nice to let my guard down once in a while, just talk without reservations, pour my heart out. maybe because lately, its been hard to find someone i can do that to. im glad we see eye to eye on a lot of things.

as the days pass, i start to see things a little differently. previously, i just heaped loads of guilt on myself, because i thought it was me all along, destroying things. but these days ive started seeing things from a different point of view. i used to feel bad, but now it seems im feeling bad for myself. there's some things i learnt tonight, and truth be told, it hurts. how real was it? for some reason, it matters mattered more to me than i thought it would. and in some way, that comforts me. it means i wasnt all that reckless.

i hate to think that it was just another.
just another pebble on the beach.

results were okay, gp was disappointing, but gp has always been disappointing, so i'll live. but my sisters are proud of me, and that means alot. well i hope everyone's okay, contentment is the key. now its just the big question mark about the future, procrastinate procrastinate. youre the kind of problem i dont need right now. i miss hwachong, i always will i guess. i saw althea, omg i cant believe i saw althea at hc on results day. so i sat down with her in the canteen and talked, updated her on whats-been-going-on. she felt scrutinized by the hwachong crowd, well duh. she sure as hell doesnt look like the typical hwachong student. but althea always comforts me in a way. in the first two years, with random concerned smses and wise words. i remember a phrase she once gave to me, courage is not for the proud, but for the humble. i think at that point of time i needed that alot, and it has stuck with me till now. and then i talked with my juniors, bighugs, and they finished the brownies that i baked till 4am the night before.

i sprained my wrist scooping icecream, please tell me how pathetic that is. in nine years of flipping and tumbling, ive never sprained a thing, and now this happens. gee. sam jerald alvin and jeff came by to visit me yesterday, and the scoopies thought they were tourists HAHA jap or korean or something like that. we took a roadtrip to angmokio, sent them home and toured skatespots at alvin's neighbourhood, this other side of singapore that is foreign to me, then sam dropped me home. i like this going about places in a car with good company, cos now sam has a legal license, so we can virtually go to all corners of singapore.

jerald: its so hot.
jeff: you're sunburnt.
jerald: yah im sunburnt, but youre fat!
OHMAN so mean. hahaha.

you know sometimes theres all these thoughts running through your mind, and theres all that noise in your head. and then when that screaming in the head stops, you realise the silence that envelopes you. thats what car rides are for me. they make me think, somehow. about anything and everything. i just totally zone out. i think car rides with me are pretty boring. my dad says he'll get me a mini cooper if i get my license yay i think they are gorgeous and unbearably cute.

hongrui told me how he never believed in friendship. and id always thought that friends were the ones who would carry you through any kind of bullshit. and althea told me, after awhile, you just get jaded. i guess that would be right about now. yeah maybe i am getting jaded, which is why im doing the same thing to some others too. not trying hard, not putting that bit of effort. im sorry juniors, and my babes, but right now i just dont wanna care. and its depressing really, how ive always believed so much in something to realise ive been deceived. like the real facts on the snapple bottle caps that arent really real, did you know that? i just found that out today, and its not really relevant, but i felt cheated all the same. so i guess sniffing bananas dont really help you lose weight huh.

things in my normal world of these few years is changing, and these changes are disappointing. i feel like im withdrawing into this other new working world, to shut off all the things that used to be. im sick of getting affected by it, cos i realise some things i used to hold in such high esteem, are just not worth it.

Siege says:
this is so unlike you
Siege says:
i feel like an Arab who just woke up and found out his world was covered in snow
new york, new york says:
u mean it doesnt snow in arabia?
Siege says:
do you tink it ever snows in a desert?
new york, new york says:
arabia is a desert?

teeheehee. your sense of humour sucks la okay.

okay i need to snap out of this soon.
important decisions have to be made.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:57

Thursday, March 01, 2007

work is tiring me out, these days i feel like a walking zombie.
i. need. to. slow. down.

yesterday i worked double shifts, both at the florist and ben and jerrys and i swear im never going to do that ever again. but though ben and jerrys was the second half of the day, i wasnt tired at all! i think the people helped (: pam and clara stayed back a little into our shift, and the four of us were totally high behind the counter. gossips, and some big hooha over some secret yearbook while pam creamed her cake and complained we distracted her. then it was just me and chermaine, and thankyou chermaine for making work so incredibly enjoyable. storytelling, and singing backup to the voice on the stereo, she was dancing, i was staring haha. and it felt really great when these two guys got high on the music with us. hahah. sclub7 omg. primary school days man. she has declared this week to be sclub music week. im gonna miss working with her, since her hols are ending and school is starting. but she changed shift to work with me again this saturday YAY. haha.

AND. i was sanitizing the tables yesterday, and i found out that someone stuck gum underneath the table! disgusting. i thought people were more cultured than that nowadays. i dont wanna do closing! whinewhinewhine.

shijun came to visit me! yay, and dragged along junhong siliang and adrian. he bought two pints, rich kid. when i first saw them sitting there, it was an all too familiar scene! they looked like they were mugging- pencilcase and books, head bowed down, with some food on the table. hahaha. turns out they were studying for their diving test, but still! i was so shocked. and i gave them waffles freshly baked by me, and he thought they were rejects! :( such faith he has in me ah. to think i was nice and gave it to him for free. but yay its nice to have visitors!


our outlet! and chermaine hyperactive boundless energy person!

a few days ago, it was the florist boss' birthday! so we devised this huge plan to force him to come down to the outlet so we could throw a surprise for him :D its nice, suprises. haha and we totally pulled it off, we rock. he was saying, hmm not bad eh. hiring all girls. guys would hardly be this thoughtful. exactly. haha. but the cake looked like it was fit for a kid, not a married man with kids.


sigh, i hate how work restricts my social life. suddenly, theres so many people i havent seen in a long time. i wanna organise class outings, gym visits etc. but i cant. wenyi appeared outside the florist today, just passing by. but its been so long. i want to meet up with all the people, i used to plan out my calendar, meeting different people everyday to catch up. but now, everyday's just work schedules :( so interaction is now left to msn, brief conversations like how are you? a primary school classmate just spoke to me on msn all the way from aussie, after so long. it was such an awkward conversation we had, i dont even know the point of it. i dont even know what to say to you anymore. and it was odd, how candid and direct you were with your questions. and so, so random. its nice, that im not forgotten, i guess. but still. i dont know how to deal with awkward conversations, seriously.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:57