Monday, November 29, 2010

end of day one in macau!

this is starting to turn into the chillout slow and calm holiday that i had wanted! it would have been perfect if i could have a dive weekend away in some ulu resort on the beach, but since there was no one i could do it with the next best option was hongkong with the parents (because it'll just be weird and unfun to go to the beach with my parents who are probably gonna stay in all day). but hongkong's all about shopping and the whole lifestyle here is just like back in singapore :( so i was abit sian. but today was such a slack day i love it!

by the time we got off the ferry in macau and got through immigration it was like 5pm :\ the whole day gone! so we just came to the hotel and checked in, and till now i haven't stepped out to take a look at macau yet! hahaha we just stayed in, went down for some complimentary refreshments, took a walk in the casino (there was a walking poker chip!!) and then i went to make a spa reservation! woohoo (: hahah i was asking alot of stupid questions cos ive never been to a spa before.. but all i went for was the full body massage, which was much needed! just the thing to relax :D so since i had to wait for my massage, i hit the gym! yay steppers be proud of me i did stretching and PT! haha i used to exercise ball to stretch my split cos there was no chair to prop my leg up on, i think the people thought i was weird/crazy. so after tiring the muscles out i went for the massage and totally snoozed cos it was so comfortable :D haha an hour and a half that just whizzed by. then i came back to the room to watch chelsea draw with newcastle putting manutd back on TOP! :D and now i'm going to watch Hellcats as i fall asleep and wake up early tmrw for a good swim! haha now that exams are over time to whip myself into shape for training.. no more excuses! but i must must MUST have dimsum haha i'll compensate for it by hitting the gym ok!


such a slack holiday, let's just keep it slow and simple (:


(oh and praaay that i'll run into Taeyang somewhere in macau tomorrow please! heard theyre all here for some music awards thing.. i could be just within METRES of him!)

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:51

Sunday, November 28, 2010

I just don't get it.. I would fight so hard for a chance like this and they're simply passing it up when its handed to them on a silver platter. seriously being taken for granted here.. don't deserve it if you can't appreciate it.

why do the problems just keep coming :(


on a sidenote,
I CAN'T WAIT TO GET BACK ON THE MATS.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 08:46

exam's are out!! :D haha spent my entire day roaming the east with binbin and i realise we've never really hung out like that in a long time.. or perhaps ever before? haha we went to the IT fair and omg it was such a headache! and we felt like binny's minions running around the IT fair cos he'll give us info and directions and then we'll carry out the instructions! didn't really get anything though i was soo tempted to get a new mac. but i shall consider carefully first! and we parked by the roads like everyone else cos it's just impossible to get parking.. and when we walked out we saw fines under the wipers of many cars! we were so nervous haha but WE WERE IN LUCK! (: yay haha no fine for me! and the best thing was after that when we went to tampines mall we parked at a public area too and i forgot to put the parking coupon :S thankfully we were lucky TWICE. never been an eastie so i didn't know that tampines mall was such a vibrant place! seriously amazed by the amount of things they have in that place haha. bought donuts to provide some welfare for the people still slogging it out in hall :D it's been a fun day because i like being in unfamiliar places and just seeing if we chance upon anything which was pretty much what we did today!

then back in hall i was slowly sliding into panic mode because i hadnt packed at all for hongkong and we were leaving the house at 7am in the morning! so started throwing things together to bring home to pack.. and realised my laundry wasn't dry so i had to wash/dry them all over again! :( in the meantime watched the awesome 7-1 man utd match in johnny's room and then the dining hall and it was so amazing! love watching them play like this, apparently this has been missing almost all season! then while waiting for laundry i wandered to deo's room and just had a long talk, then broke into the dance studio together hahaha. i had this nagging voice at the back of my head telling me to get going and get packing but i just ignored it and danced abit because it's been so long! can't wait to put on my dancing shoes :D haha but it all came back and got me cos then i was REALLY panicking and by the time i got home and did all the packing it was like near 5am :(


and my flight is due to leave soon as im blogging this from the airport! see you soon singapore! (:

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 08:36

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

on a rainy sunday afternoon, stoops and i drove up to Dempsey for some coffee at Jones'! our initial picnic plans at Botanic Gardens had to be cancelled, but it was super nice having my warm cup of chai sitting indoors with the chill in the air (: so plan B wasn't too bad.. plus we had the most delectable dessert! and then we talked and talked like we had neverending things to talk about and i'm so glad that we see eye to eye on certain things. you know it's like you take the words right out of my mouth and i don't know if anything else could understand it the way you do and in that sense i feel like we are such similar people. and it makes me feel a little less like i should go do something about myself. and the hours flew by so quickly and then we were off in our separate directions again :( till the next time!

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:24

Monday, November 22, 2010

i feel so unkempt and ungroomed and messy and when i had to go for exams today i felt like i wasnt ready to face the world haha. the past week has just been me in my little BubbleWorld with books + food + sleep and thankfully hall friends to keep me sane.


these few days i have these bouts of nostalgia, when i suddenly like take a step back and look around at what's going on around me and who's around me and then i think to myself how much i'm going to miss this. like that day when i randomly ended up sitting on the floor outside sr1 with jiahui and samuela haha talking for abit and it's not like im particularly close to them or anything but it was rather spontaneous and fun and more people started to join us. i just love talking to people and getting to know them through these random conversations, and sometimes these are the ones that you remember people fondly by. and these days studying together in the computer room with the other FYFs, doing stupid things like playing We Doodle and taking it abit too seriously haha..

zhebin told me that ianchung said that he's gonna miss this whole communal living thing when we move out, and zhebin told him, "eh but you phantom for the last 2 years already eh.." and thats when ian said, "yah, that's why i can imagine how much worse you all will feel."

:(

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 23:31

Saturday, November 20, 2010

FAIL FAIL FAIL. debbie and i spent the entire night that was supposed to be spent studying doing some major catch up instead. i kid you not it was the ENTIRE night because i didn't even get past more than one slide of my notes (and that was only because she was on the phone for abit) hahaha from 11pm to 4am wow and i knew this was going to happen but just not to this extent. i thought we'd at least get SOME work done.

but you know what debbiechua i dont regret it at all and haha i'm still so glad we did this! :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 01:30

Thursday, November 18, 2010

yesterday halfway through the night I dropped all my books and work and all things academia and headed to the dance studio.. asked deo to join me for some dancing because I missed it :( and then we talked for a good half of the time before putting DP/old-item-songs on play-and-repeat and just danced (: and then he took the opportunity to get at me about quitting his item, so we actually had only one and one-third of DP songs that we could dance to together! then we tried finding the Mariah Carey song I choreoed to on youtube and we had like four false-starts before we realised we probably got the instrumental version hahaha. fail. and we ended the night we a sick set of crunches and planks.

destressing during exams should be more like this :D

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 18:54

Monday, November 15, 2010

was contemplating whether to take up the steppers' invitation to come out to study tonight, but i'm so glad i did! i was doubtful about getting a seat at holland v's starbucks, which was always one of my preferred places to go to just that i've never made it early enough to get good seats. but we were pleasantly surprised by the emptiness of the upper deck and i had a really nice cosy corner with a power source for my laptop, at a bartop kinda table by the window, looking out onto the wet roads and cars passing by. felt like a scene out of Love Actually in the Christmas season, i don't know why. felt like i was in another country suddenly, with the chill in the air and my hot cuppa starbucks warming up my cold fingers. one thing that would have made it all perfect would be falling snow outside, and frost gathering at the windowsill. mmm.. such a nice mental image i've got in my head.

i felt so happy sitting there, even studying seemed less like a chore despite being distracted by a million and one things. but i must say the steppers are a very good bunch to study with. at first i thought we'd be so caught up in talking, but they're all really a bunch of focused, driven people! haha.

with my university days drawing to a close, i suddenly thought about how much i would actually miss studying. miss spending whole days at coffee joints scouring over my notes, sometimes with welcome solitude and other times with good company.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 23:04

prof: so how xinyi? want to stay on in my lab and become an RA (research assistant) for me after you graduate?
i was speechless, so she continued..
prof: no, i think your heart is not here.. you want to go join some dance troupe and just dance all day right?



she totally articulated what my heart yearns for!
I WISH. i really wish.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 22:06

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Chuck Bass:
Blair, you and I are magnetic. You can feel it. Our pull is undeniable as ever.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 18:00

it makes me very sad when the happy memories that i thought i'd always remember, those picture perfect moments when your heart just swells with so much joy and contentment, begin to blur at the edges in the recesses of your memory, and the details start getting fuzzy and forgotten. i remember thinking then, i'll never forget this moment when i felt like this. but alas :(

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 17:27

i feel like such a lousy senior because i'm hardly ever around on my floor.. everytime i see my floor girls they'll say "wahh you're in! so long never see you already.." which is truee.. but tonight was such fun.. haha secret conversations behind closed doors, then showering at 4am in the morning and teaching woongie how to shower under 1hour haha and then snacking on grapes and granola in the middle of the hallway. haha love how there is so much buzz on sixth floor even at 4am in the morning because at least my nights aren't so quiet. last time i'd be the only one left awake, but now i don't feel like sleeping because everyone's still up. haha its true when they say sixth floor girls dont sleep till six am. hope that in this Final year i can still find time for my girls on sixth floor :(

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:19

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

my body feels so broken.

there are bruises, aches, injuries everywhere and it annoys me when i can't move as freely as i want to. i can't dance properly and it's so frustrating! practice today was insane and i really need to get my act together and start KNOWING my steps. it's my choice to want to do these many things so i better make sure i can keep up KEEP UP! if not i dont deserve the chance.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:14

Tuesday, November 09, 2010

"it should've been you.."
should have, could have, would have.

no point looking back now that everything's been set in stone :(
it's not like im unhappy or anything, but just moments like these get me thinking, what if?

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:07

Saturday, November 06, 2010

one semester has flown by so quickly. we're going into the last week of school for this semester and finals are coming up wayy too soon. and i've only got one more semester left in NUS which is abit scary considering i haven't really settled on future plans as of now.

but i've been having such a great time in hall right now, i haven't really thought about leaving. i haven't been hit with the occasional pangs of sadness. which is a good thing i guess (: im starting to believe that maybe i can deal with leaving better than i think i can. or better than ANYONE thinks i can. haha everyone expects me to cry at every Final hall event but it never even occurs to me! but there are two big events that i've always tried to be a part of which has recently passed..

first is CULTURE NIGHT!
i realise i've been lucky enough to do culture night every single year. and somehow every single year i NEVER end up doing the hiphop item for culture night i don't know why. but i'm really glad i did jazz this year because it was tonnes of fun and i loved it! even though the costumes did make me abit uneasy and i felt like i couldnt really pull it off, and my hair was a disaster etc etc and our item eventually had to be dragged into the whole NUSgotalent thing, i was still super glad for culture night! every performance i do gets me psyched up, get me nervous as i wait backstage, gets me so high on adrenaline as we execute the moves we're practiced and polished so hard. so yes my Final culture night was definitely a super memorable one and i feel like it's really helped me to know the juniors so much better!

second is NIGHT CYCLING!
night cycling is honestly one of my favourite events of the hall calendar. but apparently some of the freshies couldnt understand why we feel so :( that's just such a pity i guess.. but this year the route for night cycling is drastically different! we only ventured on the East side, which i guess is a refreshing change of scenery for me and lots of new places to explore (: but i guess what was lacking was like nice landmarks and stops where we could take nice photos at and stuff. but i really liked cycling down the stretch right by the runways where the planes take off and land. so awesome! i kept looking out for planes that were on the move and they're really right beside you! one day i'll drive down and just park there and watch the planes go. i think the blockcomm did an awesome job too because they made our block stand out with the lightsticks and awesome halloween tattoos that we stuck all over our faces haha. yay good job C-pirit! (: then we almost threw in a Changi hospital adventure but in the end felt bad enough to not go through with it.. and it RAINED again! but like what oliver and xun were saying, "it's not night cycling if it doesn't rain.." haha which is very true! and one of my favourite moments of the night was when we were cycling back to ecp in the rain and xun johnny and i started singing the cblock family song (: oh and like 4/5 of CWAT wore our block comm jerseys to night cycling, loud and proud! we are awesome (:

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:30

Tuesday, November 02, 2010

the other day i headed into this lomo shop at penin and ended up learning so much about cameras and film etc etc. i had such a great time talking to a stranger that was the shoplady and her knowledge of all these toy cameras is so immense it thrills me to be talking to her. it just makes me so tempted to want to own almost every camera on that rack. but the few things that i really want is the Golden Half and a Blackbird Fly. and i'm really sad that the flash on my fisheye camera is officially dead and buried which means no more photos to be taken at night :( but i'm going to get my Holga fixed hopefully very soon! i'll bring it back there for her perusal!


and later that night kevin and i headed to Strictly Pancakes to finally try the pancakes there and i got scalded by warm/hot water that came cascading down my bare shoulders and all over my dress :( but i loved the spontaneity of the night when a random whatsapp to faithie to ask her about Strictly Pancakes got her, xian and xiu driving down from town to join us! (:

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 04:25

Monday, November 01, 2010

i'm so upset with myself! i don't know what's wrong with me this semester :( it feels like year 1 sem 1 all over again, when studies completely take the backseat and i just don't give a shit about schoolwork. everything's left to the last-minute and i have absolutely no motivation to get it done early because it just keeps coming one after the other :( so there's always this dead weight resting on my shoulders because i know of the upcoming deadlines and all but then i just let it sit there while i go ahead and do all the other things that i like to do. this is so horrid.. maybe i've been condoning myself and having too much fun. and i know i haven't been putting as much effort into all the group assignments and letting the hardcore labrats settle alot of the finetuning and compiling which is damn bad :( and there's no sense of accomplishment when i'm done with it because it feels so slipshod. sigh.

and then there's all this worry about the future.. trying to make plans for myself but always coming up with nothing concrete in the end. everyone's applying for jobs and going for interviews but ive been doing nothing! i don't even know what direction i wanna head in because i don't know what i want and i'm afraid of committing to a path that i will not be happy on :(

this is going to be the craziest year ever and i had better get my act together fast before it's too late.

xinyi cartwheeled in the rain at 13:47