Saturday, March 19, 2011

One to Ten

If you ask me if I love you

on a scale of one to ten, you’d
better be ready for my arbitrary answer,
“Well, what does the ten mean?”
Then I might ask, “What’s the one to me?...
while you’re throwing all these numbers at me.”

At moments a memorial would seem
too meager a recompense to me.
A random, thought provoking inquiry
of your love as it applies to me.
The princess sat upon the very pea
that brought such good fortune to me.
That brought my sweet fortune to me.

When you speak up...must you repeat
what I say metaphysically?
If we only know that we know nothing,
should I ever say what I mean?
So when I ask you if you love me,
must you spill these words upon me?

~ wonderful lyrics by The Mollies

Friday, March 18, 2011

guard harder!

Finally some sort of happy post, i guess.....
Past four weeks of my elective attachment in XXH was like some of the longest days where they creeped by so so so so slooooooowly. With tonnes of other things to focus, I didn't quite enjoy the attachment as I expected it to be. The posting was in O&G, due to lots of limitations. I thought we were just flower pots in the wards looking nice, smiling away to mothers and babies. Other than talking , we were speaking with mothers. True! 4 weeks of talking and smiling. Luckily the staffs were kind enough to babysit us.......

Finally , it had came to an end today.

Big things never comes when you expect it.
Today, today I had my first hand experiences in delivery. Dare not say conducting a delivery, for some of reasons, we are not even allowed to even touch it !(this was an emergency)
Wanna know why? because some individuals thinks that there are more important things to attend to than to attend a woman in labour, then coming in late giving lame reasons according to their previous reasons. Anyway, I was grateful that there were people like that , if its not because of their *ahem* attitude, I might not get the experience today =D

What happened was.....
"wanna do artificial rupture of membrane arr?? "
"yar, bring the kidney dish"
"ok"
brings the kidney dish, and she starts digging into the 8th wonder of the world.
a huge round of pulling , screaming and comforting. pulling , screaming and comforting.
"err, cant la , its ok , just leave it as it is"
"ok"
2 secs after she left
splash!!!!! why so yellowish ??
" membranes already ruptured!!!"
" os already full, be careful"
an enormous round of screaming and pulling, and screaming and pulling
lifts up the gown, huh?? whats that yellow bun doing there, looks closely
"BABY'S HEAD!!! BABY'S HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
grabs the pad and guard, trembles........ . actually it was like just placing the pad under the 8th wonder of the world, pressure???? not so ........
And the wiser one comes in and take over....
was still trembling ..........
baby was all out, crying his lungs out.....

All the above happened in less than 3 minutes, I was still trembling .....

Unfortunately, there was still a second degree tear.
Why ? because everything happened too quickly and it wasn't guarded properly.
The right thing to do was: To guard harder and try to push the head low.
Thankfully, the person who is suppose to do all the above was finally there to repair the damage.
This was the biggest lesson I had for the entire attachment. And it only happened on the last day.....
Lucky me, I didn't had any training for these but I had a feel of it.
Thinking of it sends shiver down my spine.
Well , its time to reconsider on what I've thought all these while, one month wasn't enough to convince me.....

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Fears when i Fret

I'm proud to announce my biggest fear now is ....... *drum rolls *

FRET!!!

there is nothing to fear about other than to FRET.

Fret: –verb (used without object), to feel or express worry, annoyance, discontent,
or the like:Fretting about the lost ring isn't going to help.


Yes. See that example from the dictionary, fretting isn't going to help.
But who would help me to stop fretting over things that is almost beyond my control???
I'm still paranoid about the fact that I fret and always have those thoughts blocked. It is actually quite stupid of it. Lately, nervous breakdown seems to be too common. Its easily masked but deeply engraved in the thoughts day by day .
Why am I going through this? Wouldn't it be so much better if I could be less sensitive in life.
Anyone kind enough to give me a break.

Friday, March 11, 2011

just some water

Japan has always been one of the greatest civilizations that I admired.
This little island , packed with people is one of the leading country of Asia's economy and technologies advancement. Today, it was hit by the force of nature with just some water. Whats on the news were terrifying. Some said that its a pirated version of what happened in Indonesia, 2004.



All it takes was just some of the much much water of the earth to wipe, bit by bit , maybe the entire civilization? Of all the effort and ego, no matter how smart human could be. Nature will still take its course. Its time to think about it.
May God bless Japan.

Sunday, March 6, 2011

To my one and only

19 years ago, he was born and i'm no longer the only child in the family.
He came and brought along so much laughters, happiness and joy into my life.
He might be a bit disobedient at times , sometimes rebellious, but I believe he is clear of what he wants.



On this blessed day, I wanna wish you a happy 19th birthday !!

you know i love you =)


loving you always,
Che che