翻阅整个chat list,我找不到一个可以跟我聊的人..是我对人不真诚吗..身边没有一个人了解我的所有..我的故事在这里粘了一下，又在另一处粘了一下..或许每个人都是这样的吧..没有一个人比自己更了解自己..我到底在寻找什么，只有我自己知道....时间过得太快了，已经开始跟不到它的脚步了..我到底什么时候走到了22岁..这个曾经是我觉得多么遥远的年龄，我竟然已经走到了..为什么我梦想中的东西，我梦想中的青春活力的18岁，踏入精彩又浪漫的大学的20岁..这些东西都没有实现...我的18岁除了考试上课和偶尔跟朋友出去玩之外，就是什么都没了..我憧憬的是什么，我也不能确切地形容出来..但就不是这么枯燥乏味的...20岁..大学这座神秘的大门，踏入以后却是没有跟中学多大差别的地方..每天的上课下课..虽然偶尔有参些活动..但是这些让我忙得忘了自己..忘了自己真正需求的是什么..我想要自由..那种自由..让我能做我喜欢的事...是谁限制了我..我不知道...我感觉自己在虚度光阴..中学时拼命努力，为了上更好的大学..结果大学也根本不好..大学时拼命努力，为了更好的未来..那种未来,也不会是我想要的...那就是有份更好的工..做工，谁会想要...
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Saturday, November 12, 2011
sick week
after bout more than 2 months, finally i am home again.. but damn, i caught on fever exactly the night i came back..
crazy thing bout me is, i feel lucky to be sick at dis moment, at least i am at the safest place, where i can rest without worries..
now i m in mid-semester break already.. every sem comes and pass by so fast..
i think i cant keep up already..
Accounting.. Accounting.. why are u so difficult..
In my theory, ACCOUNTING = CHEMISTRY
becoz i just dont understand why i cant answer the exam questions even though i understand most of it already when i read..
this semester, i had a change in mindset..
i dont have any more enthusiasm in organising activities.. ya, i know it is fun..
but i always blame myself when i did bad in my exam..
i dont get it why ppl can do it but not me..
i wanna change my attitude towards my academic.. ACCOUNTING is not really something i can take it easy on..
if i wanna blame, blame myself for choosing this subject..
Academic & Activity, i can only choose 1..
Plus, there are no more ppl i wish to co-operate wif anymore in organising activities..
different anthenna, no choice..
for now,
看清目标，走下去就对了..
Monday, August 1, 2011
long semester break
it feels like a long time since i last wrote in this blog. Well, i am currently in the 4 months semester break,and now i still have 1 month left before schools reopen.
So what have i done in this 3 months?? ok,it feels like a nightmare.
i had worked at G company.. as a customer relations officer. Sounds BIG?
u will think it is BIGGER when i tell u i had to undergo 1 months training 1st b4 i can officially starts working. What is my job actually? ok, i need to answer calls. Just ANSWER CALLS wholeday, NONSTOP. For ur information, G is a big company, Customer will call in to book hotel rooms and concert tickets. And it's business is damn good. The bookings is non-stop, and the calls came in non-stop too. There are so many lines there, i think nearly 30 to 40 lines there, but they will still have queue calls. Really cannot understand how come everyone is so rich. The hotels are very expensive and not as gd as other hotels out there in terms of the room size and the facilities. But still people keep on being attract there becoz of something SPECIAL there, only available there in whole malaysia.
alrite enough of mumbling bout the company. ok, so i started as a trainee in the company. Undergo the very boring training,listening to something like lecture in university lol.. and then system training where they teach u how to use all the computer systems to do booking, check for room availability etc. i already began to feel regret that time. hey, i am just doing a temporary job, not job for a lifetime, y should i memorize so many things?? TEST?? Listen here, TEST! i had to pass about 4 tests before i can start working. I had to undergo something called buddy training where i will be lead by a senior. I really cannot understand y i always had bad luck in my life. I got an awful buddy trainer. He is so impatient,not understanding,never even care about me. You know, my other frens, their buddy at least ask them whether wanna go for lunch together. But mine? NEVER. Dont u think it is like a respect to ask your junior about dat?? Fine, forget bout dat, when i had officially start working and free myself from that awful creature, i had swear to myself never ever ask him questions again even when i encounter problems. I will ask anyone except him! and then my days become more beautiful~~
The things never just end there.. when i juz started working, i feel more relax already.. but then, i had trouble with those team leaders. u know chinese 8字？i think my 8字 really not ngam with that place. I keep on encountering troublesome cases. Not only that, I had being scold by a team leader,which is a woman with distorted mind. This scold is not a normal scold, u know, she shout like a crazy fella in TANJUNG RAMBUTAN. I had never been scold like this, not even by my own mother. Yea, i know, u r thinkin that, working is like dat, we should bear all these, our boss is always right, we are always wrong. SORRY, I AM JUST WORKING HERE TEMPORARY. it is not like i will die if i get fired. there is no reason for me to be humiliated like dis by someone i did not respect at all.
So bye bye~~ feel so relieve dat i finally no nid to go bac to c those faces.
but apart from dat, of coz i do get to noe many new frens. There r oso many nice ppl there. They help me alot when i face wif problems, encourage me and we share hard and happy moments together. Feel sorry for them coz i had to leave earlier, wish them all the best. I really admire thier spirit, to be able to bear with all the stress in that environment, is really not easy.
huh~~ i began to miss school life.. it is very enjoyable..
but of course not as enjoyable as i am right now, laying at home everyday.. watching tv, surfing internet,hehe...
fell kinda 矛盾.. i miss my university friend a lot, but then i will miss my home,my family and frens here very much when i go bac there..
cant believe one year passed by so fast.. last year at this moment, i juz began my 1st year university life..everything is so fresh and challenging at that time.. but now, haha.. i gonna become ppl's senior already..
i had determined to study harder for next year, becoz i am really not satisfied wif my performance for the past year. hope i can keep this spirit on, coz saying it is alot easier than practising it, hehe..
i think this is gonna be the longest post till now, haha..
Monday, April 4, 2011
幼稚
以为自己有多么成熟
每次说别人很幼稚
最幼稚的是自己吧
不是不明白
不是不谅解
但是就是控制不到
流泪
心痛
想把那些画面从脑中删除
如果有delete这个function就太好了
曾经幼稚地想那天快点过去
那么以后就没有顾虑了
可是
那天对我造成的阴影
太恐怖了
我宁愿没有那天的到来
自己也觉得自己好幼稚
幼稚到没办法告诉任何人自己有多幼稚
也知道自己的幼稚会伤害到别人
可不可以不要那么幼稚？
不可以
控制不到
我也想成熟
江山易改本性难移
我觉得不只是“难移”，而是根本不可能“移”到
永远都不可能插队的
迟了就要站在后面
看到前面的人怎样都好
安守本分吧
说就容易
不想再看到
不想再听到
但是不可能
我还是会看到
因为犯贱
特地去看
特地去听
之后才来为自己的幼稚承受伤痛
知道自己幼稚
就不要渴望别人的体谅
如果有一个安静的地方让我尽情地发泄出自己的幼稚那就太好了
我
幼稚得没药救了
没办法自救
也不希望任何人救我
如果有面具让我把自己的幼稚隐藏起来那就太好了
Friday, December 24, 2010
end of holiday
1 month of holiday just end like that.. alright.. it's my fault, not being able to use it wisely.. the more time you gave me, the more time i will waste...
well.. this holiday had been a hard time for me and my family.. each of our heart aches so much going through all these.. but i know, the person that suffer the most is not me, i am so relieve that the condition seems to get better by now.. i can now go back to penang feeling more relieved..
I had no idea that you had become so mature.. had such a strong heart.. you are so calm when all of us are crying.. when it is so scary and it makes me tremble, u are still as calm as ever.. the pain that u had suffer, i dont think i can imagine it.. it must have been like hell ya? i don't even wanna think about it..
but it is all over now.. the nightmare is over.. dont have to worry bout it anymore.. it is all fine now..
gotta go back to school on sunday.. haih.. although i am so unwilling to leave my home sweet home, but i gotta keep moving on..
i will be back again soon.. the next time when i'm back, it is chinese new year.. hehe..
will miss my family,my home,and of course, my frens here so much~
Sunday, December 12, 2010
坚强吧
好想分担那彻骨的痛，
好想减轻那些痛苦，
好想找到解决的方法，
好想帮上一些什么，
好想看到阴天之后的彩虹，
好想有一天，
能够看到真正幸福的微笑。
当坚强的大树也挡不住狂风的时候，
我那微弱的力量也只能给它微不足道的扶持，
大树始终需要自己撑下去
就算狂风把树上的叶子都吹落了
那坚硬的根也要继续扎紧着土地
而我
就一直站在大树的旁边
累了，就让它靠一靠
大树一定要一直坚持下去
狂风之后
那棵大树就会是所有大树之中最强的大树了
Thursday, December 9, 2010
惜福
很多时候，都不知道自己原来很幸福。遇到小事就怨天怨地，埋怨这个不好那个不好，这就是没用的我。看一看别人吧，遇到那么痛苦的事，还能好好的活着，隐藏着自己的痛不让任何人看见。而我呢？一点小事就大呼小叫，我像什么样了啊？
一点点小病痛就非得告诉妈妈不可，也没想过在远处的她会担心。别人呢？伤得那么严重也不愿透漏任何一丁点让父母知道，只怕他们会担心。而我，我为什么就这么不会想？？
自己已经很幸运了，不，应该是说的确很幸运，能够拥有完整的家，大家融洽的相处。只是，自己都不会珍惜，还时常埋怨。不会多点疼惜自己的父母，不会多点付出子女应有的本分。
我，看到了原来，藏在各个角落，有很多比我痛苦几百倍的身影。他们独自撑着，有苦说不得。坚强的外表，开朗的性格，让人根本就无法想像他们内心深处所承受的痛苦。
所以，请珍惜吧，我希望自己真的可以从这一刻开始，好好珍惜自己目前的生活。
我是幸福的，一定要惜福
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