As per my previous post, it’s been a rough couple of weeks in my little world. It’s easy to feel helpless in the face of something so potentially life changing. I am, however, gradually getting my feet back underneath me and regaining my equilibrium. I’ve had a couple of epiphany moments along the way, and as per usual the biggest of these has been courtesy of my students.
This involves a bit of a back story …
Way back in September, I took ownership of a Year 9 form group. This was slightly against my will and certainly against any previous inclination. Weirdly though, I seem to have taken to being a form tutor like a duck to water. I love seeing the same kids every day (even if it is only for a half term at a time), I love being able to keep track of how things are going for them and I love hearing their distinctly random stories on a regular basis (and believe me when I tell you that my kids are random beyond all belief!).
All through the year, I have been promoting positivity with them; both positive actions and, in particular, positive thought. Knowing that many of them aren’t having an easy time of it for whatever reason, I’ve been very enthusiastic in my promotion of this concept. I’m not sure they’re quite as convinced; many of them have spent a huge amount of their time looking at me with equal parts bemusement and disbelief (and in the case of one or two of them, complete dismissal). For one or two of them though, the whole idea seems to have struck a chord. When my first group left me, I made each of them a laminated card with a positive message on (I really didn’t want that particular group to move on). These messages were personalised and based on what I knew about each student. Some of them were abandoned on my desks (although oddly, the chocolate that went with them had mysteriously vanished) but some of them have been kept and cherished.
The one that sticks in my mind is a card I made for a student who can be an absolute handful. The phrase I use to describe him most often is “mad as a box of frogs”. He has energy levels through the roof, loves playing to an audience, can lose any piece of equipment in two seconds flat and on a recent trip managed to talk for about four hours straight without, it seemed, pausing for breath, He’s also an absolute sweetheart. He makes a point of popping in to see me every day, has always got a funny story to tell and a long and complicated excuse for why he’s in trouble this time.
He also keeps his ‘positive card’ in the back of his phone so he doesn’t lose it. Every so often, he very proudly drags it out to prove he’s still got it. Having had a conversation or two with his mum, I know that things are not always easy at home and he’s had a rough time. I frequently find him sitting by himself in the corridor at break or lunchtime. When I ask him, he says he’s fine, he just likes to sit quietly (something that most people who know him probably wouldn’t believe if they heard it). I worry about him. Not that he’d want me to. If a positive message from me helps him keep his head above water, it was absolutely worth the many hours I spent typing, cutting out and laminating them. His card reads:
“Even when things are tough, remember that you’re awesome and you CAN do it“.
It says this because one of the things he says all the time is “You can do it!” … delivered in a silly voice that I can hear in my head even as I’m typing this.
I’ve been hearing that voice, repeating that phrase, a lot over the last couple of weeks. It seems to sum up everything I need to hear, even if it is only the voices in my head that are saying it. I’m good at what I do. I’m beginning to believe in myself – which as things stand, is probably a good thing!
I’m going to be fine. I can do it.
absolutelynotnormal 