Tag Archives: Tenacity

Fortuitous Thoughts and the Big 3-0

Posted by abstrusebrunette on

Hello there.

I was a bit MIA for a while. Not that I am narcissistic enough to think that anyone had noticed the scarcity of posts. After all, this blog merely serves as a web of escapism for me. I doubt if a single soul has genuinely wondered about the blogger (AKA, moi).

My new job is keeping me extremely occupied. I am getting used to working longer hours. I may be dead tired when I get home, but all the complaints about painful feet and weary bones evaporate once I receive my paycheck.

Unfortunately, I seem to be getting a tad reckless with my spending. I need to be more prudent with my expenses, or I would not be able to save something for rainy days. I want to build my sense of security about my future, as I am only a year away from the big 3-0.

Yep, it is around the corner, silently mocking me. I cannot say that I am looking forward to it. I do not lament its approach, either. My emotional ambivalence is more focused on where my life is heading at this point.

I have always been a goal-oriented person, so my mind is constantly streaming with strategies and plans to accomplish what it sets out to do. I may stir off the path for a while, but the target never deviates from my sight. It frustrates me at times when things go awry. Nevertheless, I just refuse to let go without so much of an effort.

I am also trying to inject more time for my social life. One of the good things about a new job is meeting fresh connections. My world is getting more diverse. Knowledge is expanding into a considerable scope. I feel as if I have grown more as a person, as a human being, in the last few months. Why, I am definitely getting older!

Life is absolutely launching off into an unprecedented path. Venturing into something novel and unknown can be nerve-wracking, yet I will not have it any other way. I have always strived to constantly challege myself. I believe that it is the best way to discover oneself. One will never grow as a person if she indulges herself with mediocre ideas and dreams. Maybe it is enough for some people; it is not for me. My universe will turn into a lethargic cycle of redundant experiences, and I may as well cease breathing.

In the meantime, I will concentrate on not causing any injury to my already exhausted body. Oh, and minimizing my shopping sprees. Huh. That actually sounds more excruciating than being on my feet all day. Well, financial atrophy is not included in my goals, so I will have to curb the retail temptations.

Maybe right after I buy the cute dress from shabby apple. 😉

Art: Thought

Compass

Posted by abstrusebrunette on

When I was a child, I remember playing on a pile of stones and pebbles, which constructors used in building homes. My aunt just bought me a “doctor set” of toys, complete with fake stethoscope and thermometer. I think that was the moment when I decided that I wanted to be a doctor when I grew up. When my dad had a stroke and I actively took part in his rehabilitation, I concluded that I would be a physical therapist, instead. Fast forward to the present, I am neither a doctor nor a physical therapist. However, I am still in the medical field.

A part of me is scared that my childhood dream will never achieve its realization. See, I am the kind of person who goes after what I want and focuses on it with fierce tenacity. I have noticed that even though it may take a while for me to secure something I set my mind to, I eventually obtain it. Some people say we do not always get our heart’s desire. On the contrary, it is a matter of how bad you want something and how willing you are to work hard in procuring it.

My unyielding obstinacy is my greatest ally in accomplishing my goals. I am aware that unexpected circumstances occur — loss of a loved one, flickering doubt about a choice of career, or a sudden epiphany which makes someone steer in a different direction. An abrupt change which shepherds the journey on unprecedented path. I know this. As much as I vehemently crave for a smooth navigation towards my plans, I know that life enjoys throwing a few surprises along the way. Nothing is set in stone. Life is a series of astonishing mutations, resolute in reaching the best outcome possible. Darwin’s theory of Natural Selection is alive and well, folks. Fortunately, I refuse to remain a stolid observer and disappear into extinction. Time for Plan B.

When an impetuous event transpires, my mind instinctively goes through a variety of plausible tactics to anticipate any conceivable harm. This inherent gift has saved me from probable disasters a few times. It is as if my brain has different compartments for various impending scenarios, ready to perform its scheduled reconnaissance.

Does this mean I have never been caught unaware? Of course not. There have been moments when I have remained oblivious to an imminent doom. But instead of simply sinking into oblivion, I have learned to recognize my mistakes and have vowed to be more cognizant next time. Second opportunities are hard to come by, so I do not expect them. I just take pleasure in the knowledge that I have gained from the lapses. Although, there may have been times when I berate myself for not being mindful enough, I shun the idea of being too difficult on myself. I must learn to let go and move on.

How do I know where to proceed from a previous mistake? I follow my inner compass — the elemental guide which has directed my route throughout the years. Divine inspiration? Maybe. But it is more of an ingrained voice that navigates my decisions. I have a goal, and my mind is focused on that sole thing. Whatever abrupt interruption blocks my path, I tackle it and then return my concentration on the goal, afterwards. It helps to have a one-track mind, sometimes.

The question of how far I will go in my field has plagued my thoughts constantly. I know I won’t be fully happy if I do not accomplish the dream that was brought forth by the “doctor set”. Will there be a title of “Doctor” that will preceed my name in the future? The answer is a glimmer of silhouette that hovers in my mind. However, there is one thing for which I am certain: I have not yet reached what I set myself to achieve. Am I scared? A little. But, I know I will be fine as I have my inner compass to guide me.

Art: CapturingMoods