Zee

Seriously.. sometimes you don't know to do.. Being honest is the best policy, but there're somethings that may be better off without being told. Not being able to be myself is something I don't like and I hate it. Agree that there are things that we have to compromise to make it better since we can't expect everything to be "in our way", but to what extend ?

I used to ask myself this question pretty often "would it be happier just living alone?" To be fair, there's always two sides of the answer and it really depends on which side you are more inclined towards. Perhaps it's within me that I know I don't like to be restricted and it's just not me if you take away some parts of it isn't it?

I've been trying to stay positive during my work, finding things to do and be productive. Looking at the progress lately, I need motivation and drive and some other things to spur me on.. Where are those factors? When all else fails, you can only fall back on something that you know will never fail you... that's yourself.. which is why I'm focusing my energy and time back into training... It will consume tons of time and the process is painful, but I know I will enjoy the outcome eventually. It will take many things off my mind at the same time, giving myself a peace of mind.

Is that the reason why I'm actually introverted in nature? I don't think anybody will believe that.. personally, I'm introverted and the extrovert things that I'm doing are what I can do, but not something that I like.. Noting that the sports that I enjoy, i.e. Pool, Diving, Ironman are all individual sports and that gives me ample time to be alone just enjoying what I'm doing..

I enjoy the peace,
I enjoy the nature,
I enjoy being myself..

It's being one more week of work and it's already the third week. It's fast. How much have I learnt? Well, I would say the progress has been slowed down considerably and that's inevitable. Just like a reaction curve, the initial progress is always fast as there are a lot of substrates and high frequency collision will occur. As the reaction proceeds, lesser collision and slower reaction. I'm reaching that stage, and what's left is for me to go for the SIEMENS hearing consultation course to know more, before I can be certified.

Hanging ard in the office for the time being, going out to help out in certain events at time has given me some valuable experiences. However, I don't really like the feeling of acting as a receptionist. When I do shift to the branch at East point, I will be responsible for the recep counter as well, since it's a 2-man team. We'll each have to handle most of the stuffs ourselves. I don't think I'll have any problem with that.. honestly, I don't think you need a Uni grad to do that job, and if you think it's that tough with so many things to learn, you are underestimating me. I don't like the nature of being a recep, and I hope I won't have to deal with too much of it. If not that may be the last straw for me.

Being green at a location, you have to be humble and attentive to the details, as you are supposed to be learning. What if you have opinions and you notice something wrong/ can be improved? Do you go ahead and inform them, or just leave it as it is, since they are "seniors", Some respects need to be given? I believe in a level platform, where anybody has a voice to speak as long as it's valid. But workplace is workplace, not my home and I will have to be more careful and be politically sensitive with regards to such situations. I won't stay at this office for long, just have to keep going, until I head out to my perm location in east point.

Using the spare time I have to do admin stuff, like finding out on CPF loans, housing, Triathlon, Australia, and of cos not forgetting reading up on hearing related materials. It is pretty good in that aspect that I have time to do those things, but I want something to keep me on my feet more often. I need something challenging and analytical..

No time for Training recently and I had to force myself to go running at 10pm yesterday after one full day of work and tuition at night. I was tired, but just have to do it... and many a times, it's just a matter of whether you want to.. I'm left with 2 months to train for SCSM, mileage has to increase exponentially if not I'm so screwed. How am I going to squeeze in time to swim/cycle? I guess I'll find a way to. Still aiming for a full Ironman next yr, although I think it may be better for a half first and save some money to upgrade to a tri-bike before I do so.

If there's a will there's a way.

Will is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it becomes.

I totally agree and feel for this phrase, and I will live to internalise within me.