Quiet Soul, Silent Mind, Fiery Temper

Critic For Sale 9 September 2007

Sucky computer connection these days are really getting on my nerves cause i catn get online because my brother seems to be stealing all the connection. Roar!

New neighbours are in and i wonder whether they might be tapping our line cause i haven got disconnected until they move in. Mmm..

Anyway.. As you can see this is not really the topic i wanna blog about. Yes it is a family ranting post today.

Everytime i go complain to my friends on wanting to kill my sister, everyone will go take it easy.. It is family and plus it cant be all that bad.

Come try living with a critic who thinks just that because she is working and came from the typical sec sch – JC – NT route, that makes her a notch over the non working Sec sch – Poly – SIM route.

Hey i gotta admit i am a tad lazy when it comes to studying at home cause there is far too much distraction from just the noise generated from my ever-nagging mother. I can study in Mcdonalds which almost often threatens to freeze me fingers and toes off and is noisy 24/7 than at home.

Then the blardy critic will come along saying. Aiya poly students are like that one. Cant not study. If not why are they even in poly? Which i often retort back that i chose to go poly route cause i dont want to spend another 2 years in extended secondary school when i knew i wanted to study business.

Then she will launch into this attack on my results being sucky and even if i got into a JC i will probably only be able to go to the lousiest unlike her and AJCian.

As usual i will call her to shut up cause i feel that poly or JC route is up to one’s choice and i cant get into the top 3 unis because i am suay-fully in the Dragon Year’s Batch and poly students dont get much of a chance if they have grades like mine. Even if i did get into any of those schools, i will probably be in some sucky course where i am spending my time stdying something useless when my focus is on Business(Marketing).

In the entire bloody quarrel there is one thing she doesnt there to venture into is the choice of my study cause she was the one to condemmn my choice of marketing instead of banking and finance; while she end up majoring in marketing in NTU cause she cant get into accounting course which is claim she applied too late. Whatever

I totally hate going out for dinner with her cause she will be happily start being a critic in my car. When i say she is a critic, she will complain about my shampoo(Loreal Elseve. How smelly can that shampoo be>), say i smelly(thats coming from her when we use the same type of soap and how can adidas deodrant be smelly?!), say i untidy(when her room is pratically covered in dust and i clear my room once a week) and fat(not my fault if she is pratically anorexic looking), etc etc.

If there is a last piece of chicken wing on the plate she will call me to eat stating that everyone is full. When itake ot and start munching on it, she will start saying stuff like.. Eeee you can really eat alot. so fat already, watch your weight la.

And you will start wanting to clobber her over her head cause she was the nincompoop who ask you to take that chicken wing. Ironican eh.

The funny thing is that she is the one to start all these quarrels when i am just sitting quietly minding my own business. I thought when a topic is sensitive you just stop niam-ing about it to prevent quarrels? She is the exact opposite she goes all the way talking insulting and giving comments and criticizing. THe worse thing is when you cant shut up, neither can you scream back at her.

If you are quiet, then she says silence is consent and decided to be smug about it and constantly bring it up to shoot you.

IF you decided to scream back at her, she say you sensitive and because you became so offensive, you are guilty and proceed to continue bringing up the subject to Ji siao you.

She is stubborn like me. But there is one thing being stubborn to your own ideas and accepting that fact that not everyone thinks like you and being stubborn not forcing your idea on to other people. Not to say myself to be sucja saint but i am more of her former while she is the latter.

Thoughts on how to slit her throat almost envelop me once she opens her mouth. I very much so wanna kill her but the fact that when get thrown into the slammer she will probably be up in heaven laughing down at me much as i wan her to get thrown in hell.

Say.. Wanna try living with a critic? It is very much “fun”.

Damn it 31 July 2007

When i am studying and someone interrupts me. You make me a cranky, evil, bitchy person. Especially people who are not welcomed at all.

In School

Bugger: Hey.. What are you doing back here? Must have retained just as i expected eh? Always knew you weren’t the studying kind.

Me: No. I am studying for my University Exams. If you have opened your eyes bigger you would have seen the cert that is displayed right in front of you.

Bugger: Oh. Usually i only notice diploma with merits you see.

Me: I guess you wouldnt be able to notice your diploma next time then.

Bugger: So which UNiversity are you in now?

Me: SIM’s UOL.

Bugger: For your standard i guess that is the best that you can go to. I am thinking of NUS

Me: NUS? Consider foreign uni’s dude. Local ones dont accept sucky grades.

Bugger: *cough cough* Sorry i am allergic to bullshit.

Me: Surprisingly you can be allergic to whatever that is spewing out of your mouth. No wonder you have coughing fits all the time. Best is you shut up dont ya think?

Much as i want to be nice to him. He is a fucker through and through. Damn this dragon year kid.

At home

Me: I went to collect my diploma certificate. Wanna see?

Mom. I see it later.

Me: Walao… Should be happy and excited ma.

Mom: Also no honours, no merits see for what.

After seeing it, she didnt even smile. Just when ahead to lecture me on my University Education.

Sometimes i wish she treat me half as nice as she treat my brother. To me getting my diploma was something i am proud of. The look on her face send me crashing to earth on how i am never ever going to make her see me the way she sees my brother.

No more expectations from her. It just brings disappointment.

Fuck. I hate her.