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I had a hard time trying to open my eyes wide and digest the truth. I thank each and everyone of you for your concern about me through your comments. I do not regard your comments as attacks or what soever. As much as you want to see me and people around you happy and live a perfect life, I do appreciate and accept all your comments and critics with transparency. If it was hard for you to see me falling in love with someone I can’t have, I know you all are well aware it must have been harder for me. And to tell you all the truth, yesterday was a HARD day for me. My mind and my heart battling each other. The facts that I am loving Ayu and that she can’t be mine, it is wrestling deep within me. And for the ladies, your opinions about Ayu from your perspective as a woman is seriously taken into account.

The assumptions that Ayu is just enjoying the affection from me, her being unfaithful to her fiance and the chances of her doing the same thing to me, her playing with my heart and all. These are real possibilities although only her herself has got the actual answers. Whatever we conclude about her, the bottomline is that I cannot be with her. And then I need to see myself in front of a mirror and analyse myself as indecisive, hypocrite and stubborn. Love, it made me do things that obeys instructions from my heart bypassing my brain. Love happens, my heart took control, dragging me into an ocean that I can’t swim, thus I drowned.

I guess I had too much to digest and absorb, but once again I thank you all for your efforts to make me realise what I have done, where have I done wrong. I might be of a fully grown up age but I know we will keep on learning the facts of life even when we are about to draw our last breath. It was a painful day, and when Eza again interrogated me with the subject of who is ‘someone’, I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. Too many things were already squeezing and battling in my mind and I wasn’t ready to be questioned with another issue. I broke down, I couldn’t take it anymore. My brains are just overloaded with data. Obliged to answer like a witness taking up the stand, I had no choice but to make things clear for her, as clear as a star on a clear night, as clear as a rainbow against a gray sky. With my last comment on the previous post, I hope it is now also clear for the rest of you. And I do not wish to talk about ‘someone’ again.

Eza, please forgive me if I was in any way harsh to you last night. I didn’t mean to and have no intentions to give a slightest scratch to your heart. My readers, I’m sorry if I have made you guys upset or ruin your happy day with my stories, and sorry if I have created arguments amongst yourself.

I need to rest now, I need a very long, uninterrupted, peaceful sleep. No dreams, just a deep sleep.