De’ Life

I promised myself : never again! I reminded myself how it felt like, every inch of it so that I won’t ever need to feel it again. BUT I failed,not just that but I broke my own promise, I felt as if pride was lost, I felt like a total idiot. I never once expected anything in return. I said way too much,words which was best left unspoken. Now, I am lost of words. I don’t know what to say anymore, or how to say anymore. I wonder if the guessing game never ends just like when  we were young, Is waiting, patience over-rated today? I was excited at first because I placed hope, hope for the better. Now, I feel lost, lost in myself,drown in my own little world. I have always wanted the best for you, this time its the same. Maybe all of this is for the better. I prayed it is. Cant see the point of all this if it wasn’t. I still have so much more words which I want to say but I promised myself to keep what is left in me , the very least of it.

I learned that with every battle and with every scar and bruises, you toughen up. I don’t like the feeling of pain but this is survival skills. You learn to deal with it.

Saying I love you
Is not the words I want to hear from you
Its not that I want you
Not to say, but if you only knew
How easy it would be to show me how you feel
More than words is all you have to do to make it real
Then you wouldnt have to say that you love me
Cos Id already know

More than words

2 more days and I will be back! This few days, can’t seem to sleep well. Reminded me when I was kid. I would always have sleepless night the night before a holiday trip. The excitement is sort of more toned down now but what I’m feeling right now is sort of similar. Wonder how’s everyone back in Malaysia is doing? Whether they changed? Or even looked the same?I for sure, am not the same. I really hoped my family and friends see the good changes in me. Been reading friend’s blogs and the fun they have had. I prayed this holiday would be rejuvenating and fruitful.

SEE U ALL IN MALAYSIA SOON!