Tonight Isaac and I were having a battle. We both had our heels dug in. He insisted his mac and cheese was too hot and wanted to poor milk on it. I refused to let him knowing he wouldn’t eat is once it was covered in milk (and it wasn’t too hot). Back and forth we went both getting more irritated. Finally Nora comes up to me, puts a hand on my arm, and says, “Mom, let me help you.” She then goes to the fridge and pulls out the can of parmesan cheese, shows it to Isaac, and says, “This will make your noodles cold, do you want to put some on?” He ran to the table nodding his head, grabbed the can, sprinkled on the goods and then eagerly shoveled noodles into his mouth. Nora 1, mom 0.
Isaac the Destroyer
It amazes that me that after getting two kids through the toddler stage Isaac can still bring new tricks to my life. Since he is two and a half in a week he is into everything. Of course that means that he isn’t as careful as he should be with his older siblings things. I expect that. It also means he makes a mess when he eats and loves to dump things on the floor. Again, this is expected. But he goes well beyond the expected. The other day I read him an animal pop-up book I used to read to Nora and Zane when they were little. He loved it. He loved it so much that now none of the pop-up animals have any tails, ears, or in one sad case, eyes. And I really don’t want to talk about the cache of good I found in the vent the other day. But the worst, WORST, was this morning.
All three kids fell asleep early last night so I wasn’t surprised when Zane and Isaac both woke early this morning. I got up, got everyone breakfast, turned on a show, and went back to bed. What felt like a very short time later Zane came running into me room saying, “Isaac is drawing on everything!” He has done this before and knows very well that we only draw on paper. It’s a pain, but thankfully even the big kids still use washable markers. I turned my head and saw Isaac. He was COVERED in black marker all down his legs and arms. Then in his hand I saw an uncapped Sharpie and my eyes went wide. I jumped out of bed and hustled down the stairs. I was halfway down when I saw the first evidence with lines of Sharpie leading up the walls in the stairwell. It was just the beginning. There was Sharpie everywhere. The walls, the TV, the glass TV stand, the leather couch and chair, the wood floors, the marble coffee table, a wood side table, the tops of 3 laptops (at least they were closed), DVD cases, toys, the window. The only thing NOT marked was any paper of course. I stood gaping at my living room is disbelief. Nora woke up in all the commotion and ran around the room pointing out new marks I hadn’t noticed yet. I turned to Zane, “Why didn’t you stop him?!” Maybe unfair to expect the 6-year-old to take control, but he had to have noticed the devastation occurring all around him. Of course then he broke down crying. Not helping. The entire time, even as I raged and threatened, Isaac giggled.
Mornings are tight as it is so I turned by back on the scene, wiped Isaac down with nail polish remover to at least dull his appearance, and hustled everyone out the door. At work I spent a lot of time Googling life-hacks involving Sharpie removal from various surfaces. On the way home I picked up Isaac at daycare and we talked about we he did at school. He told me he did some drawing.
Me: “Oh good. We aren’t going to be drawing at home for a long time. Do you remember why?”
Ike: “I draw on myself.”
Me: “Yes, that’s right. Where are we supposed to draw.”
Ike: “On the paper.”
Me: “That’s right. But where did you draw that was bad?”
Ike: “On the walls.”
Me: “And where else?”
Ike: “On the couch.”
Me: “And where else?”
Ike: “On the computer.”
Me: “And where else?”
Ike: “On the TV.”
Me: “And on the floor and the table too. And that is why there will be no drawing at home for a very long time.”
Ike: “Okay.”
The kid is insanely smart. I just hope he can start using his evil genius for good, like maybe inventing something that will get permanent marker out of leather.
Summer Teeth
Nora seems destined to not only inherit my awful teeth issues, but redefine awful. At her first dentist appointment at age three we found out her four back molars came in without enamel and were rotting resulting in four caps and baby root canals. Since then every dentist appointment seems to be an adventure. Six months ago we were referred to an orthodontist as Nora’s xrays showed some serious crowding for the teeth trying to come up through the holes left by her baby teeth. She had lost eight baby teeth. After the first four came up it was clear there was no room for the additional four to emerge. At that time he said to come back in six months when the next teeth came in. So the next two came in, but in a row behind the rest of the teeth. It’s like a scary shark with multiple rows of teeth. This time the orthodontist recommended we pull her four canines in order to make room for the “back row” to come forward.
Of course since she is only seven he referred us to a pediatric oral surgeon and anesthesiologist. I was just working on getting this scheduled when at Nora’s regular cleaning appointment Friday they discovered that the root of one of the teeth that was capped four years ago had become infected and disintegrated. So we need to add one more to the extraction list. Sigh. This all seems unfair since Nora is so good about brushing and flossing. I never have to remind her or ask her to do these tasks. I guess that’s at least keeping us from cavities! She’s got enough going on without adding those to the mix.Amazingly, Nora doesn’t seem too upset about having five teeth pulled. All she can talk about is what the tooth fairy will bring her for FIVE teeth. Unfortunately, I think the tooth fairy is going to be pretty broke for the foreseeable future.
River Wild
I finally have a chance to catch my breath after getting back from our (dare I say annual?) rafting trip. This was our second year in a row taking the kids with us and I think it’s safe to say it will be an on-going event. Last year I was nervous the great outdoors wouldn’t compare to the electronic stimulus of TV and the ipad for the littles. This year, I was just excited to have us all totally escape it. The kids once again did great. Unfortunately, Zane was so excited about that trip that he woke up at 3am the morning we were supposed to launch and pretty much kept us all up till we rolled out of bed at 6am. While I tried to get him to snuggle me in the wee hours he accidentally delivered me a head butt resulting in a fat lip. What a way to start the trip. Then our first night on the river the kids were a little nervous about sleeping alone in their own tent and woke a couple of times so by the following day Zane was pretty much shot. After losing at cards he had a major melt down, but besides that episode they were fantastic. The weather was perfect and it was one of my favorite river trips in the 13 years I have been going. We played a ton of games, read, took naps in the hammock (great new trip addition), swam, ate, laughed, skipped stones, and hunted for unique rocks. We saw 4 bears including a trio of a momma with her two cubs. We saw several otters, eagles, and turtles. We caught crayfish and tried to swipe minnows.
Surprisingly, Zane opted to spend the majority of the rafting time in Grandpa Craig’s boat. I was a little surprised since we only see Craig a few times a year, but Zane had a blast with him and we were told that he talked the whole time, spewing stories and animal facts! Again, shocking. I guess he enjoyed being the main attraction on Grandpa’s boat instead of fighting for center stage with his chatty sister. It was pretty cute actually and definitely made for more peace between the siblings since they were excited to see each other when we made camp and had much fewer arguments. That meant Bryan and I got to relinquish referee duties and could relax and enjoy ourselves as well.
It felt like we were in our own separate world being so unconnected to the media and others and it felt amazing. It wasn’t until we packed up and hit the road that I started to worry about how Isaac had done with Grammy and Papa or how many emails were waiting for me. As soon as we hit consistent cell phone coverage I called my mom and was (mostly) happy to hear that Isaac didn’t miss me one bit. He was very excited to see us when we got back, but he did great with his grandparents when we were away. He’s a pretty chill guy.
I’m thrilled the kids are liking these river adventures as much as Bryan and I do and I can’t wait until all five of us get to be there together.
Hot Fun in the Summertime
It has been an unbelievably beautiful summer here in Portland. Summers are always amazing here, but this is ridiculous! Since the weather is so mild here most people don’t have air conditioning in their homes. Luckily we do, kinda. I mean that we’re kinda lucky. While I haven’t worn a jacket or a sweatshirt outside in months, inside I have on my heavy fleece and flannel pj pants. Bryan hates the heat and is constantly hot so the AC is cranked to freezer level. While my neighbors are sweating at their dining tables I have often gone out to sit on my front steps to warm up. And I’m not the only one feeling the chill!
The couch blankets are getting a ton of use and Zane will bring a blanket with him to the table so that he doesn’t get cold while eating. Nora is much more warm blooded like daddy so she is usually sitting right over the vent, but she didn’t want to be left out when I decided to snap this pic of Zane in his usual position covered in fleece. I won’t complain because even though I tend to run cold I CANNOT stand to be hot when trying to sleep and I’ve been able to sleep like a baby in my chilly house during this glorious summer. I did get a little shock last week when I decided to run out for an ingredient after thinking I was in for the night. I got halfway to the car before I started to sweat, pivoted and ran back inside to shed my Ugg slippers, fleece coat, and sweatpants. At least I’m still getting good use out of my winter gear.
Wordless Wednesday: Wishes
20 Years Ago
Saturday i went to my 20 year high school reunion. There were three people there I had seen in the last twenty years and only one I had seen this year (and he is a relative). To say I haven’t kept in touch with my high school pals is a vast understatement. I think a large part of this is due to the fact that I went 2,000 miles from home for college and when I returned even in the summers, I went back to my childhood house that was a state away from where my high school and the majority of the student body resided. The other major part was that for some reason in high school, and for really the only period in my life, I was very insecure and shy. I didn’t really connect with many of my classmates. There were a lot of cliques especially among the people who went to grade school together, but they weren’t mean to me and I was well liked. Still, I didn’t feel like I had many deep friendships. I had much stronger relationships with the girls I played softball with outside of school and that is where my passion was as well.
When my cousin asked me if I was going to the reunion I had to think about it. First of all I didn’t even know about it, and second I felt like I wouldn’t “know” anyone there. Still, I decided I had to go. I feel like I am a wholly different person than the one I was at that point and this was my chance to come back like the person I wished I could have been confident enough to be in high school.
I’m glad I went. It was good to catch up with a few people I knew well in high school and to get to know others I now wish I would have known better. There were several that I’m amazed I hadn’t run into since we now run in many of the same circles. There wasn’t a very strong turnout (maybe 50 grads) and none of the reunion drama you hear about at some of these get togethers. It was a good casual time. Everyone was very nice though I apparently have Facebook cooties. Every time I told people I hadn’t heard of the reunion or kept in touch their first response was, “Oh, are you not on Facebook?” I seriously heard that at least 4 times. Yes, I am on Facebook – I just don’t have any high school friends! Sorry! I also realized that I have it really good. I don’t think I missed out on anything by being disconnected from high school for the past twenty years. I moved on and felt no regrets. I re-met some nice people who I may stay in touch with now or may not, but definitely no looking back. I’ve already got all this:
Floaties
I’m pretty laid back when it comes to life and definitely when it comes to parenting. Being a parent is a tough business and about 99% of the time I can respect the decisions parents make about how they raise their own kids. There are A LOT of parenting hot topics: breastfeeding, co-sleeping, pacifiers, cloth diapers, starting solids, saying no, baby wearing, etc. Even though I have my own preferences and beliefs, I feel that these topics really have no wrong answer as long as everyone is safe and loved. You do what works for you and your family and that might even vary from kid to kid! If I have my own parenting philosophy I would call it “natural consequences”.
I believe that you can’t, and absolutely shouldn’t, protect your kids from everything. They have to understand there are consequences for their actions and words. I let me kids fall when they were toddlers. I did only minimal baby proofing around the house. I didn’t get them training wheels on their bikes or follow them through the playground. Nora and Zane didn’t wear flotation devices in the pool. When Isaac came along I pretty much employed the same techniques. Except for the floaties.
I got lazy. I blamed it on the fact that my head was already on a swivel watching the big kids, but basically I just wanted to be able to read a damn book at the pool. So Isaac got a puddle jumper. That thing is great! He loves it and throws himself into the water with abandon. So +1 for helping him like the water. +2 for giving me a little slice of heaven where I could let my guard down and could pay attention to the big kids when Isaac was in the water. -10 for making my baby reliant on a crutch. As soon as he got used to the freedom of the puddle jumper he didn’t want to go into the water without it. Tonight we were at the in-laws neighborhood pool and Isaac jumped in the water and paddled around in his floaties having a blast. An hour later we got out of the water and he laid with me on the chair to warm up. I got up to grab shoes and he sprinted to the edge of the pool and jumped. And sank to the bottom. I was 2 feet from the water’s edge and Nora was in the water when it happened so he was hauled out just two seconds after he went in, but I felt like it was a huge parenting fail. Not the part when he jumped in and sank, but that he had zero pause about jumping in. Had no thought to what might happen. When Nora and Zane were that age I stood in the water and they jumped in from the side all the time. They popped under the water when they jumped, but quickly learned to push themselves to the top and as they progressed I helped them less and less. I also was verbally all over them to wait until I said it was okay to jump. That I had to be looking or they would drown. I got lax with Isaac and it showed tonight. He didn’t even try to stay above water when he jumped. His experience was that he would quickly pop to the top without effort and the kid sunk like a stone.
As a society I think too many parents are setting up their kids to sink. All the hovering and protecting we are doing is making our kids under equipped to deal with real life. With winning and LOSING, with getting hurt, with navigating, trusting, and so much more. It is sad, but what is even more tragic is that this level of protection is so engrained in society now that even parents who want to lift some restrictions from their kids feel like they can’t. I know I do. There are times that I don’t let my kids do something specifically because I am scared that another parent will not only judge me (I couldn’t care less), but will call the authorities on me. And it happens. I’ve been reading a lot about it lately from the more extreme free range kids movement, to a very relatable mom who had the cops called on her, to this recent blog post I stumbled across that is more eloquent that I ever could be. There is a fine line between helping another parent and hounding one and I think the balance is severely out of whack these days.
Tonight was a little reminder for me that sometimes the best way to keep our kids safe is to let them experience a bump so that they avoid a later crash.
Scare Tactics
I’m not above a little trickery or scare tactics to “persuade” the kids to obey, but two lately made me feel just a little guilty. For a moment. But they also had the desired effects.
Every morning is a struggle to get Zane ready. He doesn’t want to change his clothes or brush his teeth. He would wear the same outfit for at least a week if I let him. And by same outfit I mean he literally doesn’t take it off. He even wears it to bed. Sometimes I just give up, but by day three I put my foot down. I have the same struggle at night to get him to brush his teeth or change in to PJs. I’ve given up on PJs, but a couple of weeks ago I’d finally had enough with the teeth battle. I sounded like a broken record telling him horror stories of how his teeth would fall out, how plaque is really little bugs that live in your mouth and eat your teeth, how the tooth fairy only wants clean teeth, etc. Finally I turned to Zane on the couch and said, “Do you want to see what will happen to your teeth?” I googled “rotten teeth” and went to the image results. Then I gagged a little and showed Zane. I’ll just share one lovely image:
Now just picture a whole screen full of shots like these. Zane went white and started to cry. “You’re scaring me!” he sobbed. I did feel a little bad. I hadn’t quite meant to freak him out that bad so I explained that if you just brush your teeth everyday that wouldn’t happen. I finally got him calmed down by googling “nice teeth” and showing him those images. He submitted to brushing that night and I finally got him to bed. At 6am the next morning something nudged me. It was Zane, toothbrush and toothpaste in hand, saying, “I want to brush my teeth.” He hasn’t complained once about brushing since.
About a month ago I took the side of Isaac’s crib which means he can climb out. He has actually still been really good about going down for naps and to bed, but he has had some nights where I’ve retuned him to bed 5 times or more. The other night I remembered the trick I used when he was a baby and would stand up in his crib and scream at nap time. The video monitor has a two way speaker and I used to speak into it and say, “Lay down Isaac, time for nap” and he would hit the deck and go to bed. The nanny used it as well. I hadn’t needed to resort to that trick for ages, but the other night I saw him climbing (again) out of bed on the monitor and I pushed the talk button and said, sternly, “Isaac, get back in bed. Time to go to sleep.” He LOST IT! He immediately started sobbing and ran out of the room. Um, not what I was expecting. I asked him what happened (yeah, playing innocent still) and he said, “That scare me. That scare me in my face.” (?) I calmed him down and said that he just needed to stay in bed and the voice wouldn’t come back. Oh I am evil! He now points to the camera and says, “Be quiet! No talking.” And he stays in bed.
I’m not exactly proud of myself, but these little tricks did have the desired effect and also aren’t really lies. Not exactly parent of the year material, but I also think I might be onto something.
I May Have to Stab my Kid
A couple of months ago Bryan called me as I walked into the door at home. I had just stumbled in from the airport after 5 days in Idaho for work.
“Are you home?”
“Yeah, just walked in.”
“Well, can you go get Isaac? Daycare called and said he reacted to something and he’d pretty itchy and uncomfortable.”
Of course, I said sure, but it didn’t sound too serious so I took my time. About 30 minutes later I got to daycare and I hardly recognized my kid. He was bright red, his face was all puffy, and the back of his neck was bleeding where he’d scratched it raw. Apparently he had one bite of a piece of bread with sunflower butter on it and immediately blew up. It was the first time they had served sunflower butter (a replacement for the often dangerous peanut butter). They were about to call 911 when he puked and his swelling started to go down. I guess that means that he looked even worse before I got there which is hard to believe. I packed him into the carseat where he immediately began projectile barfing. I caught as much of it as I could and drove the half mile home where I got him in the bath. Since it was 4:30pm on a Friday I quickly called our pediatrician because this seemed a little over the top to me. As the phone rang Isaac started heaving again while in the tub. Having zero experience with allergic reactions I told the nurse I was concerned because he seemed to be having a reaction I thought might be serious. After I explained she said she would call an epi pin into our pharmacy and that we should come in on Monday. If he had any breathing issues we should head to the ER.
Thankfully Isaac seemed very non-plussed about the puking because he puked every 30 minutes for two hours. He’d be running down the hall playing and leaving a trail as he went. I went through a lot of towels. His swelling went down though and we didn’t have any issues the rest of the weekend. Eventually we ended up at an allergist and discovered he is allergic to both sunflower seeds and also tested positive for sesame seeds. The doctor also thought that much of his eczema was likely slight reactions to one or the other. He prescribed us some additional epi pins and said that if we left the city we should have two with us at any time. Since Isaac’s reaction involved multiple body symptoms with the hives, swelling, and vomiting it is classified as anaphylaxis and is an emergency situation. So completely terrifying. We are to stab him with the epi pin, call 911, and stab him again if symptoms don’t calm down.
The good news is that his reaction is much less severe if he ingests sesame seeds or something with sunflower seed oil in it. I know this because I am a terrible allergy mom. He kept having small skin breakouts or a hive on his face and would be in a terrible mood. Finally I thought to check ingredients on everything. Wow – nearly every chip or cracker has sunflower seed oil as an ingredient. It can also be found in bread, soap, shampoo, and sunscreen. And sesame seed oil is a major part of hummus and other dips. Who knew? I’m getting better about scouring labels and Isaac’s poor complexion is looking much better these days. Still, this is a little tougher than I anticipated. The allergist did say Isaac would get retested annually as kids can outgrow these allergies too. I hope so because how can he ever be a ballplayer without a cheek full of sunflower seeds?!
Life and all its possibilities 