Growth

Daylight, off buttons, & Time-out chairs

It’s Sunday, I’ve been up for hours, the coffee’s hot ~ here are 5 randoms from my world.

1 ) Daylight is lingering longer .. anyone else notice it? We live in the western-most part of the Eastern time zone, and our state participates in that stupid “daylight savings time,” ugh. Lately, 5pm has arrived and it’s no longer as dark as a coal chute. Bonus – January’s bitter cold brought us more sunshine than “normal,” I’ll take it!

2 ) I’ve continued my daily reading habit that started during our multi-year C-vid lockdowns (when I turned off the news and dove into books. For the record, I am up-to-date and well-informed, but via reading, not pundits, ahh!) Anyways .. Christmas Amazon e-gifts were immediately cashed in for a host of Kindle e-books. Of the 10 books devoured in January, these are two I still think about: “The lies they told,” by Ellen Marie Wiseman and “Carnegie’s Maid” by Marie Benedict.

3 ) I’m enrolled in a year-long writing/self-discovery class. Once a month a group of women, including me, meet virtually where our facilitator leads us through prompts, discussions, follow-ups and assignments. In addition to morning prayer/journaling, I’ve added in this juicy-joy-filled creative/freestyle writing, and I’m loving it! Some questions or prompts are more enjoyable and sometimes more difficult than others, and that’s entirely the point. I love to push my boundaries, challenge my habits, and learn new things.

4 ) Drifting snow & freezing rain for weeks at a time have me daydreaming of beach days, swimming in an oceanfront pool, savoring fresh seafood caught in the Gulf, and going to bed sun-kissed and happy. I aim to plan another getaway with my sister this Spring. While our trips together are always enjoyable, we’ve agreed that our Florida beach trip last year was one of our most relaxing and delightful. Adult time-out chair, STAT!

5 ) I go back to this over & over: Turn it off. Read. Get outside. Volunteer. Learn a new skill. Life is SO much better without a constant negative narrative blaring at me! Want to learn or do something new but not sure where to start? Try this – https://www.eventbrite.com/ <– you can find classes, events, conferences, outings, and AND many are free 🙂 – you’re welcome.

How about you? Need an adult time-out chair? What habit do you find particularly restorative?

Categories: Attitude, Books, Confidence at any age, Family, Fun, Growth, Joy, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Travel, Women, Writing | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Pie-eating & Lead dogs

I’ve been away more than home, “on” more than “off,” going more than staying. Someone at church asked, “So, how was your summer?” I paused to respond, realizing my lack of one. No trips to the lake; no vacations, no exciting outings to share highlights of. I mumbled something about work and travel and shook my head to do better.

The work itself I enjoy, but I’m worn down by a steady stream of last-minute “asks” packed with unrealistic expectations. We get them done, but there’s no time to revel in our accomplishments.

Think baking a pie and, while your hands are full pulling a hot pie out of the oven, you’re told to bake another one. A bigger one. Maybe three or ten more. Work has become a daily pie-eating contest and first prize is more PIE.

One end of the pie table at my hometown’s annual Fall Supper.

I’ve made a concerted effort to push my employees to the front. I have them lead department presentations vs. me. I can do it in my sleep but they need the experience, and the opportunity to shine. They articulate time saving tips and best practices we’ve curated together; they get the glory and I stand at the back, smiling proudly. As a leader, that’s the crux of my job: championing their development while we blow past goals.

My favorite boss had this saying on his desk, “If you’re not the lead dog, the view never changes.” True, but sometimes you have to give other pups a turn, too.

The road to home with two silly dogs ~ at the family farm in Saskatchewan.

If you are a people leader, can you relate to this post? How has your leadership style changed over time?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Growth, Joy, Life, Uncategorized, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

14, winter & one-night stands

It’s been bitterly cold with plenty of ice, snow and artic winds here in the Midwest (and, in MUCH of the country!) None of this has been friendly to my walks. I’d like to say I’m walking inside but I’m not; I move, stretch & stand as much as possible, but days happen where driving, working and later, reading at night consume me, and I’m just less active in winter than in summer/spring/fall. Ice – and the fear of falling / injuries – will do that to you.

A few months ago, Word Press reminded me of a milestone: 14 years of blogging! (first post here!) I fell away from a regular writing habit a while back – life/work/other things/lack of interest took priority. And that’s ok. I’m at the age where I no longer “should” on myself. (Shoulda done this, shoulda done that, that’s enough of that). But still, 14 years! I’m glad I started and yes, I’ll continue but now, I’ll do it as the mood “strikes.” It struck today.

Looking around, I’ve noticed something: we (Hubbs and I) actively lean into the pause that winter brings. He’s got his sports, politics and current events – I have my work, books, and church; we both have our family, friends and other things going on to keep us as engaged as we want to be. I enjoy this leaning business and the contentment it’s brought. Having joined and becoming active in my church gave me the community I longed for. I can see now how much I missed being part of one, and how all of these experiences have rounded out the edges.

After church today, I popped a ham, a big dish of scalloped potatoes and, separately, a green bean casserole into the oven to cook slowly on a lower heat; the house is cozy, the smells amazing. Sunshine sparkles on the snowbank outside my window, and I’m right where I need to be.

This made me laugh, and I hope it does you, too. Have a great week!

Categories: Animals, Blogging, Books, Faith, Gratitude, Growth, Home, Humor, Personal, Random | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Summer’s end & seasonal shifts

What is it about the crackling pops of wood burning that is so alluring? Friday night, after a full work day, we indulged in a simple summer pleasure: a backyard campfire visit with youngest boy & his wifey. Their two dogs joined in, leaning in for a pet or five, we had laughs, snacks, music and a summer favorite – hot dogs cooked over an open fire. The dogs circling, convinced weinies being roasted were just for them ~ later as dusk turned to darkness bats swooped overhead and stars sparkled above. We talked about so much, never finishing one conversation, jumping from one to the next and back again, our heads thrown back in laughter. So lucky – moments like these, with our grown kids, are just the best.

Summer lingers, but it’s mostly on its way out; I’ve made it to the big Lake once, and after hauling my chair, cooler, towels and self to the waters’ edge, the sky opened and rained us out. We packed up and went for iced cream, what else can you do? It wasn’t what we planned, but it was still fun.

~~~ ahhh ~~~ An Emjayandthem(C) Photo

Kids are back in school, Halloween candy is on store shelves and soon, pumpkin spiced everything will be upon us. Is it just me or do our seasons feel rushed, and difficult to hold on to?

Yesterday I felt a blanket of fatigue come over me. I know what this is: the rush-rush-rush of my job. Closing the blinds and turning on the fan, I nearly leapt into bed for a “short” nap. 90 minutes later I stretched awake, feeling refreshed, my body smiling in relief. Yes there’s the transition of seasons happening now but I recognize this: it’s years of high stress and endless deadlines, unrealistic expectations and hamster wheels that never stop. It’s not going to change, I know that, so the lesson that comes for me again is in how I change, how I manage, how I cope.

  • Friday I said, “no, we can’t take that on, too.” Surprisingly, alternate arrangements were made. Hmm.
  • I stopped giving up my weekends. Yes I’ll work late or over a weekend when a project requires it, but no longer because someone disorganized expects me to save them, yet again.
  • I’ve joined a church and attend weekly; starting my week and day in prayer feeds my soul.
  • Regular walks and daily reading move my body and stretch my mind.
  • Rest days are woven in; yesterday was one of them. No guilt.
  • Silence ~ being on/in meetings most of every work day, my ears ring from the noise; quiet is healing for me.

Do you feel the seasons changing where you are? What changes does this prompt in you?

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Family, Growth, Home, Life, Personal, Seasons, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

2024: Mid-way musings

It’s officially mid-year; we’re busy finalizing 2025 work goals and budgets ~ leaders are talking targets and reviews. Well, given that, here’s my random mid-year recap:

1 ) Pace cars vs. Packs: At work, each team is given metrics we’re measured against and my team &I are in the lead. Why? I’d rather be the pace car than the pack, choking down fumes. Zoom Zoom!

Outta my way, peeps, I’ve got places to be!

2 ) Throwbacks: Sorting through old photos, I came across this ’90s gem, taken on a camera using real film:

That’s me in the NY Harbor w/ the Twin Towers in the background. Surreal.
An Emjayandthem (C) photo

3 ) Ch-ch-changes: Several of my long-term colleagues recently retired or otherwise left the company; it’s weird to be one of the “last men standing,” (ahem, women). I do think about retirement, as it’s coming sooner than not; I view (and hope) retirement will be an extension of my weekends – daily walks, daily reading, cooking, Church, time with Hubbs, kids/grands, friends, and pets – and free time to pursue interests I’ve not had time for. I’ve had a wonderful career and many adventures, and am thankful for all of it. But there are also parts I can’t wait to leave behind (calls, video calls, and more calls, blah).

4 ) Grown-up stuff – This week, Hubbs & I formalized – and paid for – our funerals. Just typing that is sobering. Here’s the thing: he’s retired, I’m working, so why not lock in costs now? So we did. What’s not surprising is this: while we grew up in two different countries, we share the same values. We both chose cremation, a time of visitation, a Church funeral with a “church lady” luncheon after. We own a plot in the family cemetery that the two of us will share when the time comes. One less thing for our boys to worry about; pre-planning can help eliminate confusion and strife while grieving. And, surprisingly, neither of us were creeped out by the action; instead we feel relief.

5 ) Keep it coming, Love: Finally, at the top of my walking playlist is this song, “Keep it coming, Love” by K.C. and the Sunshine band. It’s a fun, fast-paced song that I walk briskly to. I’m sure I get some looks as I saunter along but who cares? So fun! We saw them in concert years ago; I never sat down once. Whee!

And how was your week? Any ch-ch-changes coming your way?

Categories: Faith, Family, Growth, Home, Life Lessons, music, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Seasons, Thoughts, Women, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Funerals, plans and living well

We had another funeral recently, this time it was Hubbs’ beloved Aunt Janet; a giant in our family, musical, capable, talented, hilarious. Her passing leaves a gaping hole. The week before her service we attended the memorial for an uncle, and the week before that, the funeral of an extended family member. Nine deaths in our extended (2) families since last summer and this is our season of life, I guess. We long for happy gatherings — reunions, baby showers, weddings, but it’s been funerals bringing us together.

Taking in how others manage a death can be jarring; some are foregoing services altogether. In other situations we’ve experienced large swaths of time between the departure and a funeral. Obituaries are no longer a given; we live at the confluence of tradition and modern, and what’s “normal” to us is foreign to others. Then there are estrangements which seem to be everywhere. Hurt feelings, harsh words, doors that closed. I wonder, when death comes, and it will, what happens then?

All of this funeral stuff has Hubbs & I talking about what we want when the time comes. It’s not something we want to spend time talking about but we are ~ soon we’ll meet with a funeral home to answer questions and make our desires and intentions known.

I don’t know about you, but I agree with this line, “there’s a difference between living and living well.” ~ from a George Strait song.

Amen.

Categories: Faith, Family, Grief, Growth, Home, Life, Personal, Quotes | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

1/24th of your day

Earlier this week I returned from vacation, a total of 9 business days off, nearly 2 full weeks, and man-o-man, that was needed. My sister and I enjoyed a most excellent adventure wherein we:

  • Laughed
  • Slept in
  • Stretched, and walked
  • Dined out
  • Sang
  • Danced
  • Adventured
  • Read
  • Laughed some more
  • Slept in
  • Dined out again
  • Sang
  • Danced and
  • laughed more.

Self-maintenance: 1 hour or 1/24th of your day should be spent doing something restorative, something you enjoy. Try it and imagine giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.

Ahhh….when’s the last time you took a break? What did you learn?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Family, Fun, Growth, Joy, Life, music, Personal, Travel, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Country roads

I am grateful that my job takes me into the most rural parts of the state. Leaving the busyness behind, I lean into the adventure that navigating country roads brings.

Over the years, GPS has deposited me in a cornfield instead of a town hall, a graveyard instead of Village centers, and in someone’s driveway instead of a community site. But … misadventures make for great stories. I’m experienced now, and add 30 minutes to any estimated route because a map app cannot anticipate what being behind a grader, combine or tractor does to your “drive time.” If cell service wanes or is nonexistent, it’s hopeless.

It’s in those moments I have to drive on instinct- I look around, up at the sky, take in the horizon, and figure it out – I watch for road names, and sometimes, double back and see a turn GPS missed. It does this country girl good to tune into bird calls instead of project calls, watch calves and lambs scampering in pastures, and leave the noise behind. John Denver had it right:

I’m back in my “nest” after multiple weeks of travel. Slept in this morning, coffee tastes good, and today is prep day for our Easter festivities tomorrow. Happy Easter to all who celebrate!

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Faith, Growth, Holidays, Joy, Life, Personal, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Random Advice

This prompted me to think about how I would answer. So I did.

Please add your random advice in the comments.

  1. Pick the hill you want to die on. P.S. few things are hill-worthy.
  2. Keep gas tank 1/2 full; ditto for cash, keep some some on you and near you.
  3. Turn off the T.V.
  4. Drink more water.
  5. Prioritize sleep.
  6. Make the phone call / visit.
  7. Take the trip.
  8. Let it go.

You? How will you answer?

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Forgiveness, Growth, Life, Opinion, Personal, Share, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Random 5 Sunday ~ Weather, un-bucket lists, snow days, and trust funds

Good morning! Snowed in today ~ “lake effect” snow (heavy, wet “Heart attack” snow and lots of it), followed by bitter temps, high winds and blowing snow — and, yes, more snow falling right now. The plows haven’t come by so I forfeited in-person church attendance and changed back into my “home” clothes. With that, here are (5) randoms from my world. Ready? Here we go:

  • 1) Weather events make people chatty.  In my part of the Midwest, there’s nothing like a pending storm to get everyone out of the house, out to the local grocery store / gas station / party store and those who are out are (mostly) chatty. ”How about that forecast?!” ”You all set?” ”Hope we don’t lose power.” Weather is a “safe” topic and an easy entree into a conversation for total strangers. Something I love about living here is that, generally speaking, people look out for each other, neighbors check in, people care. Another reminder that good people and good deeds are all around and rarely make the headlines.
  • 2) Unbucket lists: We all are told we should make a “bucket list” – a list of trips to take or milestones to meet before “kicking the bucket.” How about the opposite, the un-bucket list? What are things you’re never doing again? Here’s one of mine:  Giving up or not using vacation days. Vacation time is a benefit of and condition of employment, and I use every single one. Time off to recharge makes me a better, happier employee. Sometimes time off involves a trip, but many times it doesn’t. It takes effort for me to unplug, but I am always happier for having done so.
  • 3) TSA-Pre-Check : Using vacation time makes me think about airport travel ~ I don’t fly often but, when I do, having TSA pre-check is a game-changer. I applied for and received this travel status a few weeks into our 2-year lockdown ~ it’s good for 5 years. I should get a 2-year pass 🙂 . I’ll definitely renew when the time comes, it’s worth it.
  • 4) Snow days – Kids just went back to school this week and then *BAM* 1, no 2, no wait, 3 glorious snow days. Hubbs and I reminisced over the similarities of our childhood snow days — tobogganing with friends or cousins, scoping out “the best hill” – we agreed the ideal was steep AND long … and then there was the walking back up part. We agreed it was time to go in when our mitts were wet, and boots full of snow. We both remember when snowmobile mitts came out and replaced woolen mittens – they were water-resistant and long enough to cover jacket cuffs (ever had an inner wrist snow burn?? YEOWCH). He had face masks, I preferred a Toque + scarf, but both of us smiled at the fun we had zooming down hills, lying in the snow at night, looking up at the stars and wondering about the big world all around us. Even though I don’t get them anymore, Snow days take me back to being 9:
  • 5) Trust funds ~ this made me chuckle because my “Go-Fund-Me” began with babysitting; I was so small I could hardly lift the baby out of the crib! But I did it – yes, self-funded and proud of it. 

What do the words “Snow Day” mean to you? What’s on your “un-bucket” list? Were you “trust-funded,” too?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Faith, Family, Fun, Growth, Home, Humor, Joy, Life, Personal, Seasons, Thoughts, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments

Random 5- Plans, Rats and Travel do-dads

Here we are as in olden days …. Happy golden days of yore. Faithful friends who are dear to us, gather near to us once more … local stations switched to Christmas music the day after Thanksgiving and I just want to know – where’d that Holiday go?

I’ll tell you, in my Random 5 from recent days of old:

1 ) I planned a glorious week off from work for the week of Thanksgiving — it started out great, with a fun-filled Saturday of thrifting and lunch out with my sister-in-law. Sunday brought Church, fellowship and a Sunday supper at home. Monday, I happily declined all calls/meetings scheduled and spent the day cleaning closets – I took 6 bags of clothes, jackets, books, suitcase(s), weekenders, and other trinkets to a local non-profit. Monday evening with my honey and then Tuesday morning I felt it . . . a scratchy sore throat, “hot” eyes and what felt like a cold coming on. Ugh, the body knows, and my body knows that if I have time off, I have “time” to be sick! Nooo……Blah!

2 ) Friday had me in Urgent Care, chest X-rays and a Pneumonia diagnosis. Pneumonia! Scary stuff. Loaded up with RX and Inhalers, home to bed I went, Hubbs watching gravely and checking in constantly. I slept and coughed and slept and coughed. My week off stretched into 2, then another ER visit and then came week 3, the out of office message on, phone ringer off, and others above learned to deal but mostly awaited my return. In the interim, a chaos orchestrator, and major source of my perpetual stress over the past 5+ years, parted ways with the company (AKA was fired). Being out sick gave me the perfect reason to miss the big fake “farewell” send off (web) call. Like the “Rat” before him, he operated in a similar fashion, “all hat and no cattle,” but was a smoother talker with a better wardrobe. I knew everything about him – we all did – because he told us all about himself, what he did/was doing/was watching/traveling to – in. every. single. call. In the 7 years we worked together he never knew the names of my husband or kids or anything else about me.

God has a sense of humor and I’m grateful.

3 ) Last year, on Black Friday, after having sworn them off entirely, I bought a Kindle Paperwhite. I know, I know. But opinions can change and with research, mine did. Moving 5 times over 22 years, I’ve gotten good at packing, moving and downsizing. I’ve always been a voracious reader but, over time, have learned not all books are meant to be kept. And – surprise – getting a Kindle actually increased my reading. I am not that patient, and being able to download a book immediately is the “bee’s knees.” Traveling as much as I do, whether it be in-state via car/overnights in hotels, or flying to corporate meetings and the odd vacation, this is something I use daily. Also – I found the coolest doodad for it – the FlexFlap airglo created by a flight attendant who saw a need for a phone / Kindle / iPad flexible stand that would allow users to read, watch movies or TV shows on flights. **** You fold it into the shape you want, and it folds flat for travel — best $16 I ever spent!

4 ) Being sick you’d think I would have all the time to read: yes, I had the time, but I didn’t have the ability. Not being able to breathe is exhausting and my head, chest, eyes and hair hurt. However, as I’ve recovered, I’m back reading again. Just started this book by Stephen King, and it’s twisty as can be. Now I stopped reading Stephen King in my 20’s, after some books were just too gory for me. However, I recently read and very much enjoyed “11/22/63,” which is a book about a time traveler who attempts to prevent the assassination of U.S. President Kennedy, which happened on 11/22/63. I’m still thinking about it. Under the Dome has me clamoring to get back to it. Now that’s a good read!

5 ) Another travel necessity I’ve used the heck out of is this LoveVook Travel Backpack (found on “Travel Tips by Laurie” YouTube page; she’s a pilot’s wife who creates video content with GREAT tips to make travel easier). I often use this as my overnight bag for in-state travel, and it pairs well with carry-on luggage; I’ve taken both on a 10-day trip with my sister, with room to spare!

It’s only a couple of weeks until Christmas. The tree is up and decorated, no cookies have been made, but presents are purchased and waiting to be wrapped. After 3 weeks “off,” and working some “behind the scenes,” I’m back at it tomorrow, full-time. I will pace myself, and yes, I will read every night, snuggled up in my chair, my happy place.

I leave you with this – my favorite read of 2023:

Any doodads you’ve found worth sharing? Happy Holidays!

Categories: Books, Determination, Growth, Home, Opinion, Products I love, Technology, Thoughts, Work | Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Self-Care & my 7 Daily Seeds

A course in self-discovery a few years ago still bears fruit. Journaling let me identify my 7 “daily seeds.” Seeds, that when nourished, let me harvest a life I love living.

In no particular order they are:

  1. Daily Prayer
  2. Daily Music
  3. Daily Movement
  4. Daily Water
  5. Daily Learning
  6. Daily Quiet
  7. Daily Sleep

My ability to give each the attention they deserve varies; when any are overlooked, I suffer. I start and end my days the same way – in quiet. I try to learn every day. I make time to read, having shut off the TV 2 years ago, during our seemingly endless Michigan lockdowns. Music is my go-to, along with books and podcasts. No screens after 8pm; a consistent bedtime, even on weekends, and a daily walk, keep me steady and grounded.

What daily seeds are non-negotiable for you?

“Taking care of myself doesn’t mean ‘me first.’ It means ‘me, too.” ― L.R. Knost

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Growth, Life, Opinion, Personal, Seasons, Self Discovery, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , | 4 Comments

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