Personal

Daylight, off buttons, & Time-out chairs

Posted on February 8, 2026 by emjayandthem

It’s Sunday, I’ve been up for hours, the coffee’s hot ~ here are 5 randoms from my world.

1 ) Daylight is lingering longer .. anyone else notice it? We live in the western-most part of the Eastern time zone, and our state participates in that stupid “daylight savings time,” ugh. Lately, 5pm has arrived and it’s no longer as dark as a coal chute. Bonus – January’s bitter cold brought us more sunshine than “normal,” I’ll take it!

2 ) I’ve continued my daily reading habit that started during our multi-year C-vid lockdowns (when I turned off the news and dove into books. For the record, I am up-to-date and well-informed, but via reading, not pundits, ahh!) Anyways .. Christmas Amazon e-gifts were immediately cashed in for a host of Kindle e-books. Of the 10 books devoured in January, these are two I still think about: “The lies they told,” by Ellen Marie Wiseman and “Carnegie’s Maid” by Marie Benedict.

3 ) I’m enrolled in a year-long writing/self-discovery class. Once a month a group of women, including me, meet virtually where our facilitator leads us through prompts, discussions, follow-ups and assignments. In addition to morning prayer/journaling, I’ve added in this juicy-joy-filled creative/freestyle writing, and I’m loving it! Some questions or prompts are more enjoyable and sometimes more difficult than others, and that’s entirely the point. I love to push my boundaries, challenge my habits, and learn new things.

4 ) Drifting snow & freezing rain for weeks at a time have me daydreaming of beach days, swimming in an oceanfront pool, savoring fresh seafood caught in the Gulf, and going to bed sun-kissed and happy. I aim to plan another getaway with my sister this Spring. While our trips together are always enjoyable, we’ve agreed that our Florida beach trip last year was one of our most relaxing and delightful. Adult time-out chair, STAT!

5 ) I go back to this over & over: Turn it off. Read. Get outside. Volunteer. Learn a new skill. Life is SO much better without a constant negative narrative blaring at me! Want to learn or do something new but not sure where to start? Try this – https://www.eventbrite.com/ <– you can find classes, events, conferences, outings, and AND many are free 🙂 – you’re welcome.

How about you? Need an adult time-out chair? What habit do you find particularly restorative?

Categories: Attitude, Books, Confidence at any age, Family, Fun, Growth, Joy, News, Opinion, Personal, Self Discovery, Thoughts, Travel, Women, Writing | Tags: Adult time out chair, Adventure, assignments, Beach, Books, Carnegie's Maid, change, classes, conferences, creative, Ellen Marie Wiseman, enjoyment, eventbrite, events, grateful, growth, learning, life, Marie Benedict, new skills, news, oceanview, outings, pool, progress, prompts, Reading, rest, self-care, self-discovery, seven daily seeds, start reading, stop living in fear, sun-kissed, sunshine, The lies they told, thought-provoking, turn off the news, winter, work, writing | 6 Comments

Random 5, August 2025

Posted on August 10, 2025 by emjayandthem

It’s hot and steamy, and Summer is flying by. School supplies are out, 4-H Fairs underway, and fresh produce and seasonal fruits plentiful. Sharing 5 randoms from my August~

1 ) Sweet Corn is ready, and will have a starring role in our menu this week – yum!

2 ) The past few years I’ve said “No thanks” more often than “Yes, please.” Saying “No” = “Yes” to me.

3 ) I’m in a transition phase again, example: encouraging team members to step into speaking roles meant for me. I share tips, and feedback then cluck proudly as they do well.

4 ) There’s been a round of losses in my family this summer – one Auntie, two Uncles. An unmooring feeling lingers with each passing. Uncle Mac, Mom’s “baby” brother, is one example – to me he remains forever young, hip, and handsome. A tall & lanky airline pilot; witty, adventurous, engaging ~ how / when did he get old?

Mom & her “little” brother, our Uncle Mac (he towered over her by a foot & a half)

5 ) Booked a trip with my sister this Fall ~ time waits for no one. Book the tickets, take the trips, and lean into real connections. Tomorrow is not promised.

And you? Care to share any randoms from your world this August?

Categories: Family, Home, Life, Opinion, Personal, Seasons, Uncategorized | Tags: boundaries, career, loss, margins, meaningful, mentoring, real connections, relationships, shine, summer, sweet corn, take the trip, transitions, travel | 3 Comments

Random 5 for April ’25

Posted on April 27, 2025 by emjayandthem

It’s been the coldest, wettest Spring in years. I just finished a months-long project, so detailed and focused that weeks and months passed without me noticing. I started in February and, before I knew it, April had whizzed past. I don’t love it, but that’s the nature of the work I’m involved in right now.

Hubbs and I had 3 funerals in the past 7 days – parents of friends. 3 rounds of funeral flowers, funeral programs, and funeral lunches. 3 versions of “In the Garden,” “How Great Thou Art,” and “Amazing Grace.” In the same week, 2 Aunts on my side of the family passed away; one I wasn’t close to but the other I was, my mother’s youngest sister. Time marches on and stops for no one, right?

Canadian election tomorrow ~ will the country make a change or go for Trudeau/Carney? My guess is the latter; many seem distracted by tariff noise vs. rejecting the disastrous record and totalitarianism regime of the past 9+ years. Pray for the true North strong and free, I do.

A few months into the pandemic lockdowns, I turned off the news. I have never gone back; instead I read news via a variety of sources. Reading, without the screaming headlines and commentary, helps me to ingest the information without the system overload. Whenever someone brings up headlines or the latest in fear-mongering, I think of my dear Mom who often quipped, “It has an off button.”

Later this week I’m kicking off two – count ’em – two glorious weeks of vacation. Two weeks without projects, deadlines, conference calls or spreadsheets. I have lots of vacation time and it can be a challenge to take it, but I do. Every year! Two full weeks with more in the hopper. I’m meeting up with my sister for a nice long holiday by the ocean. We will laugh and talk, and shop and giggle; we won’t make a meal or our beds for 10 days (ok, we will make our beds b/c both of us do as soon as we get up). We will stop at flea markets and take walks along the shoreline; we will pull up a chair on a pier at night to listen to birds and surf and sea songs. We’ll pack a lunch and head up the coast on a drive to who-knows-where. We will be unencumbered by jobs, duties, kids or spouses – we will breathe and laugh and relax. When he realized I intended to be out of office/offline/out of commission (i.e. no, not reachable) for 2+ weeks my boss looked sick. I assured him the work will continue, my team is highly capable and life will go on.

I’ve loaded up my kindle for flights and layovers and for quiet mornings on our beach-view balcony. I downloaded this after watching an interview with the author – very good:

And what’s new in your world?

Categories: Attitude, Books, Faith, Family, Gratitude, Joy, Life, News, Personal, Politics, Thoughts | Tags: Adult time out chair, Beach, Canada Election, Imagine Heaven, John Burke, simple pleasures, Socialist, time, totalitariansim, turn off the news, vacation | 14 Comments

14, winter & one-night stands

Posted on January 26, 2025 by emjayandthem

It’s been bitterly cold with plenty of ice, snow and artic winds here in the Midwest (and, in MUCH of the country!) None of this has been friendly to my walks. I’d like to say I’m walking inside but I’m not; I move, stretch & stand as much as possible, but days happen where driving, working and later, reading at night consume me, and I’m just less active in winter than in summer/spring/fall. Ice – and the fear of falling / injuries – will do that to you.

A few months ago, Word Press reminded me of a milestone: 14 years of blogging! (first post here!) I fell away from a regular writing habit a while back – life/work/other things/lack of interest took priority. And that’s ok. I’m at the age where I no longer “should” on myself. (Shoulda done this, shoulda done that, that’s enough of that). But still, 14 years! I’m glad I started and yes, I’ll continue but now, I’ll do it as the mood “strikes.” It struck today.

Looking around, I’ve noticed something: we (Hubbs and I) actively lean into the pause that winter brings. He’s got his sports, politics and current events – I have my work, books, and church; we both have our family, friends and other things going on to keep us as engaged as we want to be. I enjoy this leaning business and the contentment it’s brought. Having joined and becoming active in my church gave me the community I longed for. I can see now how much I missed being part of one, and how all of these experiences have rounded out the edges.

After church today, I popped a ham, a big dish of scalloped potatoes and, separately, a green bean casserole into the oven to cook slowly on a lower heat; the house is cozy, the smells amazing. Sunshine sparkles on the snowbank outside my window, and I’m right where I need to be.

This made me laugh, and I hope it does you, too. Have a great week!

Categories: Animals, Blogging, Books, Faith, Gratitude, Growth, Home, Humor, Personal, Random | Tags: blogging, Books, church, community, contentment, growth, humor, life, lifestyle, milestones, peace, quite, Reading, thoughts, winter, writing | 6 Comments

Summer’s end & seasonal shifts

Posted on August 25, 2024 by emjayandthem

What is it about the crackling pops of wood burning that is so alluring? Friday night, after a full work day, we indulged in a simple summer pleasure: a backyard campfire visit with youngest boy & his wifey. Their two dogs joined in, leaning in for a pet or five, we had laughs, snacks, music and a summer favorite – hot dogs cooked over an open fire. The dogs circling, convinced weinies being roasted were just for them ~ later as dusk turned to darkness bats swooped overhead and stars sparkled above. We talked about so much, never finishing one conversation, jumping from one to the next and back again, our heads thrown back in laughter. So lucky – moments like these, with our grown kids, are just the best.

Summer lingers, but it’s mostly on its way out; I’ve made it to the big Lake once, and after hauling my chair, cooler, towels and self to the waters’ edge, the sky opened and rained us out. We packed up and went for iced cream, what else can you do? It wasn’t what we planned, but it was still fun.

Kids are back in school, Halloween candy is on store shelves and soon, pumpkin spiced everything will be upon us. Is it just me or do our seasons feel rushed, and difficult to hold on to?

Yesterday I felt a blanket of fatigue come over me. I know what this is: the rush-rush-rush of my job. Closing the blinds and turning on the fan, I nearly leapt into bed for a “short” nap. 90 minutes later I stretched awake, feeling refreshed, my body smiling in relief. Yes there’s the transition of seasons happening now but I recognize this: it’s years of high stress and endless deadlines, unrealistic expectations and hamster wheels that never stop. It’s not going to change, I know that, so the lesson that comes for me again is in how I change, how I manage, how I cope.

Friday I said, “no, we can’t take that on, too.” Surprisingly, alternate arrangements were made. Hmm.
I stopped giving up my weekends. Yes I’ll work late or over a weekend when a project requires it, but no longer because someone disorganized expects me to save them, yet again.
I’ve joined a church and attend weekly; starting my week and day in prayer feeds my soul.
Regular walks and daily reading move my body and stretch my mind.
Rest days are woven in; yesterday was one of them. No guilt.
Silence ~ being on/in meetings most of every work day, my ears ring from the noise; quiet is healing for me.

Do you feel the seasons changing where you are? What changes does this prompt in you?

Categories: Attitude, Faith, Family, Growth, Home, Life, Personal, Seasons, Uncategorized | Tags: adjusting, coping, Fall, growth, introvert, quiet, Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't stop talking, Reading, seasonal changes, soul, summer, Summer's end, workplace stress | 4 Comments

2024: Mid-way musings

Posted on August 17, 2024 by emjayandthem

It’s officially mid-year; we’re busy finalizing 2025 work goals and budgets ~ leaders are talking targets and reviews. Well, given that, here’s my random mid-year recap:

1 ) Pace cars vs. Packs: At work, each team is given metrics we’re measured against and my team &I are in the lead. Why? I’d rather be the pace car than the pack, choking down fumes. Zoom Zoom!

Outta my way, peeps, I’ve got places to be!

2 ) Throwbacks: Sorting through old photos, I came across this ’90s gem, taken on a camera using real film:

That’s me in the NY Harbor w/ the Twin Towers in the background. Surreal.
An Emjayandthem (C) photo

3 ) Ch-ch-changes: Several of my long-term colleagues recently retired or otherwise left the company; it’s weird to be one of the “last men standing,” (ahem, women). I do think about retirement, as it’s coming sooner than not; I view (and hope) retirement will be an extension of my weekends – daily walks, daily reading, cooking, Church, time with Hubbs, kids/grands, friends, and pets – and free time to pursue interests I’ve not had time for. I’ve had a wonderful career and many adventures, and am thankful for all of it. But there are also parts I can’t wait to leave behind (calls, video calls, and more calls, blah).

4 ) Grown-up stuff – This week, Hubbs & I formalized – and paid for – our funerals. Just typing that is sobering. Here’s the thing: he’s retired, I’m working, so why not lock in costs now? So we did. What’s not surprising is this: while we grew up in two different countries, we share the same values. We both chose cremation, a time of visitation, a Church funeral with a “church lady” luncheon after. We own a plot in the family cemetery that the two of us will share when the time comes. One less thing for our boys to worry about; pre-planning can help eliminate confusion and strife while grieving. And, surprisingly, neither of us were creeped out by the action; instead we feel relief.

5 ) Keep it coming, Love: Finally, at the top of my walking playlist is this song, “Keep it coming, Love” by K.C. and the Sunshine band. It’s a fun, fast-paced song that I walk briskly to. I’m sure I get some looks as I saunter along but who cares? So fun! We saw them in concert years ago; I never sat down once. Whee!

And how was your week? Any ch-ch-changes coming your way?

Categories: Faith, Family, Growth, Home, Life Lessons, music, Opinion, Personal, Relationships, Seasons, Thoughts, Women, Work | Tags: Books, changes, church, fun, funerals, goals, habits, KC and the Sunshine Band, Keep it coming Love, luncheons, music, New York, old photos, Pace cars, race, Reading, seasons, songs, twin towers, work | 4 Comments

Random 5 July Friday – cups, Summer, re-orgs & playlists

Posted on July 26, 2024 by emjayandthem

Good morning, it’s the last Friday in July! Sailing into the 2nd half of the year, so here are 5 randoms from my world.

1 ) I took today off & the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup,” resonates. We deserve to be filled the same way we pour. I’m drinking coffee, meeting a friend for lunch, and NOT joining any calls – whee!

2 ) Summer is half over and hints of Fall are in the air – turning of leaves, crisping of grass in the summer sun. I don’t wish Summer away but I long for the sights, smells and colors of my favorite season, Fall.

3 ) Every 3 -5 years, we endure a company re-org, and we’re enduring one again. People leaving, people joining, positions added, positions eliminated. I navigate the ebbs & flows, and do my best to hang on to see the other side.

4 ) Yesterday I drove 3 hours each way for a 1 hour meeting – the meeting was productive, but my playlist made for a jammin’ drive! 🙂

5 ) Speaking of playlists, check out “Didn’t it Rain” –1964 Gospel blues from Sister Rosetta Tharpe.

And how was your week?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Fun, Joy, music, Opinion, Personal, Seasons, Women, Work | Tags: blues, cups, days off, didn't it rain, driving, Fall, Gospel, journey, music, Playlist, re-organization, road trips, sails, seasons, self-care, Sister Rosetta Tharpe, summer, winds of change | 9 Comments

Celebrating her

Posted on July 3, 2024 by emjayandthem

I’ll love her, I’ll defend her, I’ll champion her till my dying day: America, the beautiful, my home sweet home!

In 2008, Freakonomics asked readers for a new six-word motto for the USA. Their readers chose: “Our Worst Critics Prefer to Stay.” Now more than ever, notice no one is making a move for the door?

Enjoy the sweet harmonies of the Gaither Vocal Band singing, “America, the Beautiful.” And Happy Independence Day from this grateful citizen!

Categories: Attitude, Beauty, Faith, Family, Holidays, Joy, Life, music, News, Opinion, Patriotic, Personal | Tags: America the Beautiful, citizen, Freakonomics, Gaither Vocal Band, Independence Day, love of country, our worst critics prefer to stay, Patriot, USA | 4 Comments

Funerals, plans and living well

Posted on June 24, 2024 by emjayandthem

We had another funeral recently, this time it was Hubbs’ beloved Aunt Janet; a giant in our family, musical, capable, talented, hilarious. Her passing leaves a gaping hole. The week before her service we attended the memorial for an uncle, and the week before that, the funeral of an extended family member. Nine deaths in our extended (2) families since last summer and this is our season of life, I guess. We long for happy gatherings — reunions, baby showers, weddings, but it’s been funerals bringing us together.

Taking in how others manage a death can be jarring; some are foregoing services altogether. In other situations we’ve experienced large swaths of time between the departure and a funeral. Obituaries are no longer a given; we live at the confluence of tradition and modern, and what’s “normal” to us is foreign to others. Then there are estrangements which seem to be everywhere. Hurt feelings, harsh words, doors that closed. I wonder, when death comes, and it will, what happens then?

All of this funeral stuff has Hubbs & I talking about what we want when the time comes. It’s not something we want to spend time talking about but we are ~ soon we’ll meet with a funeral home to answer questions and make our desires and intentions known.

I don’t know about you, but I agree with this line, “there’s a difference between living and living well.” ~ from a George Strait song.

Amen.

Categories: Faith, Family, Grief, Growth, Home, Life, Personal, Quotes | Tags: Aunt, death, family, George Strait, live well, living, living well, memorial, success, traditions, uncle | 4 Comments

1/24th of your day

Posted on May 11, 2024 by emjayandthem

Earlier this week I returned from vacation, a total of 9 business days off, nearly 2 full weeks, and man-o-man, that was needed. My sister and I enjoyed a most excellent adventure wherein we:

Laughed
Slept in
Stretched, and walked
Dined out
Sang
Danced
Adventured
Read
Laughed some more
Slept in
Dined out again
Sang
Danced and
laughed more.

Self-maintenance: 1 hour or 1/24th of your day should be spent doing something restorative, something you enjoy. Try it and imagine giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.

Ahhh….when’s the last time you took a break? What did you learn?

Categories: Attitude, Confidence at any age, Determination, Faith, Family, Fun, Growth, Joy, Life, music, Personal, Travel, Uncategorized, Women | Tags: Books, creative play, dancing, do what you enjoy, exercise, joy, laughing, meditation, music, painting, quiet, Reading, relaxing, self-care, self-maintenance | 6 Comments

Country roads

Posted on March 30, 2024 by emjayandthem

I am grateful that my job takes me into the most rural parts of the state. Leaving the busyness behind, I lean into the adventure that navigating country roads brings.

Over the years, GPS has deposited me in a cornfield instead of a town hall, a graveyard instead of Village centers, and in someone’s driveway instead of a community site. But … misadventures make for great stories. I’m experienced now, and add 30 minutes to any estimated route because a map app cannot anticipate what being behind a grader, combine or tractor does to your “drive time.” If cell service wanes or is nonexistent, it’s hopeless.

It’s in those moments I have to drive on instinct- I look around, up at the sky, take in the horizon, and figure it out – I watch for road names, and sometimes, double back and see a turn GPS missed. It does this country girl good to tune into bird calls instead of project calls, watch calves and lambs scampering in pastures, and leave the noise behind. John Denver had it right:

I’m back in my “nest” after multiple weeks of travel. Slept in this morning, coffee tastes good, and today is prep day for our Easter festivities tomorrow. Happy Easter to all who celebrate!