We had another funeral recently, this time it was Hubbs’ beloved Aunt Janet; a giant in our family, musical, capable, talented, hilarious. Her passing leaves a gaping hole. The week before her service we attended the memorial for an uncle, and the week before that, the funeral of an extended family member. Nine deaths in our extended (2) families since last summer and this is our season of life, I guess. We long for happy gatherings — reunions, baby showers, weddings, but it’s been funerals bringing us together.
Taking in how others manage a death can be jarring; some are foregoing services altogether. In other situations we’ve experienced large swaths of time between the departure and a funeral. Obituaries are no longer a given; we live at the confluence of tradition and modern, and what’s “normal” to us is foreign to others. Then there are estrangements which seem to be everywhere. Hurt feelings, harsh words, doors that closed. I wonder, when death comes, and it will, what happens then?
All of this funeral stuff has Hubbs & I talking about what we want when the time comes. It’s not something we want to spend time talking about but we are ~ soon we’ll meet with a funeral home to answer questions and make our desires and intentions known.
I don’t know about you, but I agree with this line, “there’s a difference between living and living well.” ~ from a George Strait song.
Bubble baths? Long walks? Prayer? Honey-do lists? Sweat & exercise? Loud music? Chocolate? Meditation and quiet? What’s your go-to? I have many, and am grateful for them all.
Reading
Walking / Time in Prayer
Music / Singing / Dancing
Cooking /Creating /Organizing
Journaling / dreaming / discovering
With the turn of each season, I get itchy; I can feel something coming, just out of reach. Trees are starting to turn, mornings are a bit darker, and the evening air has a bite to it.
Work continues at a crazy, stupid-busy pace. It’s a daily pie-eating contest and 1st prize is … more pie. So many have left, “peace out, not for me,” they said. I’ve stayed. Somedays I wonder if I can. But I say the same thing year after year: I still enjoy the work and do my best to survive the chaos created by others, and the stress that comes along with it. Walking/Prayer/Reading/Music/Cooking nourish my soul.
What if we fed our souls first and then shared what’s left, instead of the reverse? Hmm, what a concept.
With 64 books read YTD, I don’t remember them all, but this one, this one, this one .. this one will stay with me a long time. This one I will read again.
Today is a beautiful September Saturday – full of promise.
I don’t know about you I’m moseying, walking, cooking, baking, stretching, singing, reading, and resting. I’m feeding my soul! Lastly, I leave you with this, which serves as a wonderful reminder for me:
I recently joined a church in my new-to-me hometown. Actually, I transferred my membership, and have so enjoyed attending, learning, and belonging.
My new-to-me church is a large, solid, old Church with high ceilings and beautiful stained-glass windows. There’s a balcony area and many staircases, with one that leads to the basement kitchen, like we had in my prairie home church. The pew Bibles are well used, and comforting to me, as many hands before mine have held them close. Fans hum, the a/c works some of the time, and we smile and fan ourselves with the church bulletin.
My little home church on the prairie
We greet each other in the parlor, “Earl” encourages name tags and there’s always a low hum of friendly visiting as we enter the sanctuary. “Doc,” another greeter, welcomes us, with a joke and a chuckle. The weekly message varies and so does attendance, hymns are traditional but newer, more upbeat songs are sung, too. Guest speakers appear sometimes, and, at others, congregants share testimonies of faith. So much to savor and enjoy.
From my very first visit I found the congregation warm, and welcoming; everyone made me feel right at home.
It’s not just the message, and the hand squeezes from old ladies half my size. It’s the coffee & fellowship afterwards, in the Church basement. I always take part, and heard one lady exclaim recently, “Church is great but this is the best part!” She may be on to something.
Ladies flitting around, men helping brew the coffee. There’s always snacks – cookies, cakes, muffins, crackers & cheese, and fruit. Coffee, regular and decaf, water and juice boxes, too. I’ve signed up to help on a regular basis. Why? Most of the congregation is far older than me, and some of these ladies have been serving and fussing for 40+ years – they are the ones who have appreciated a new helper the most. Plus, I love to cook and bake – today was my turn and the 2 sheet cakes, treats and crackers & cheese I contributed were soon gone; lucky for me another church lady showed up with cupcakes.
I brought a chocolate & a vanilla sheet cake – not a crumb left!
Had fun making some festive “Independence Day” treats – white chocolate covered pretzel sticks (aka fireworks) with red, white and blue sprinkles.
Yes, I am enjoying attending church again and am often moved by the Spirit. I cried through the first few services, and looking back, I can see that my soul was happy to come home. I’m better now. What I’d forgotten is the joy in fellowship — in the serving, the sharing, the visiting, the laughing, the telling of stories. Fellowship is the heartbeat of an active congregation; fellowship isn’t what I was looking for, but I know now that’s what I was lacking. Fellowship has me contributing, engaging, and growing. Fellowship feels good.
“Ah, Lovely October, as you usher in the season that awakens my soul, your awesome beauty compels my spirit to soar like a leaf caught in an autumn breeze and my heart to sing like a heavenly choir.” ― Peggy Toney Horton
All the colors in one tree ~ An Emjayandthem (C) Photo
Brilliant reds and all the sunshine ~ an Emjayandthem (C) photo
Color tours, fresh air, low humidity and all the sunshine …. ahh, October!
It has been the. most. beautiful. Autumn. in recent memory!
“I notice that Autumn is more the season of the soul than of nature.” — Friedrich Nietzsche
*All photos taken on my daily walks.
What began as a break from work stress morphed into a daily routine that brought me back to something I’d forgotten – my love of being outside. Nature soothes me, it truly does restoreth my soul.
Nature, fresh air, birds, sunshine, the smell of the earth, movement.
So grateful!
What habit did you start that became one you can’t live without?
I’ve been working, walking, reading and repeating.
Autumn colors from my daily walks
Some travel. A few meetings.
All the calls.
The demand is constant, it never slows.
Demands mount.
Fires loom.
The pace, the pressure, the expectations can be unreal ~ some have left, moving on to other opportunities. New stress and chaos, most likely!
Evening arrives, laptop closes, phone is muted.. and I read.
Recently I celebrated my 20th year with the company and a Sr. Exec. asked about future plans, including retirement. Well, I’m not there yet. It’s closer than it was but it’s still far off on the horizon. He asked, “When that day comes, what are you going to do?” My response, without skipping a beat, “Live! And read all the books I haven’t had time for yet ….” 😀
yes!!!
“I can never read all the books I want; I can never be all the people I want and live all the lives I want. I can never train myself in all the skills I want. And why do I want? I want to live and feel all the shades, tones and variations of mental and physical experience possible in my life.” ― Sylvia Plath,The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.” – Roy T. Bennett, “The Light in the Heart”
Autumn makes me happy. Of all my seasons to choose from, this is the one that makes my heart sing ~ the colors, the sights, the smells. I love Autumn!
My favorite neighborhood tree!
A dog’s attitude is a great reminder on how to live: play, play, play, sleep.
Sully with a stick = happiness
Being and staying healthy makes me happy.
And grateful.
Every day I choose to put myself on the “to-do” list I’ve carried for 40+ years.
I choose movement, engagement, discernment, nutrition, and sleep.
I choose by turning off the “news” & smart phones and reaching for a book instead.
I choose by tuning out the voices who blather on with opinions on issues or choices they’ve never lived, researched, or attempted.
I choose to walk outside even if that involves gloves and long johns.
I choose to go to bed sooner and get up earlier to savor the sacred stillness of a quiet morning.
I choose to honor my body with real, whole foods made at home by yours truly.
I choose me.
What are you choosing? Have you put yourself on your “to-do” list yet? If not, why not? If not now, when?
Chatting with my sister yesterday we laughed about how, like Mom, we wear the same things over and over: A raggedy tee shirt, a fraying nightie, favorite shorts with a rip in the pocket.
There’s comfort in old clothes and in old things ~ they’re worn and soft and easy on the skin. We know what to expect and they deliver. It’s not that we can’t buy new clothes, we can. It’s not that we can’t wear new clothes, we do. But, time and again, we reach for what’s comfortable, what’s familiar, what endures.
Old recipes on batter-stained pages.
Coffee cups that fit our hands.
The love of an old pet who leans in for more.
How good the house smells as something simmers in the kitchen.
We talked further about “the good stuff,” about how, as you get older, material “stuff” matters less and less. What we want are connections, meaningful conversations, comfortable temperatures, good stories, tasty foods, deep sleep, great coffee, and loyal friends. We want our kids and grands and pets to be OK and everyone we know to feel safe and loved and remembered. And in the chaos this year has brought we reach for the good stuff.
It’s Sunday in Summer and time for 5 randoms from my world. Ready? Let’s go!
1 ) Pandemic Groceries – Still working my way through our pandemic-groceries. Background: at the start of the lock-downs, Hubbs was doing the weekly grocery shopping, a task he enjoyed very much. I pulled the plug on his outings given his asthma & other risk factors. Other risk factors included the potential for altercations in Aisle #5 (paper aisle). But before our shift change in late-April, he was Mr. Pandemic-buyer. I think we have enough canned goods to last to 2028. With just two of us, it was already difficult to cook “small,” (I grew up in a family of 7… leftovers were a rarity in my house, and Mom prepared multiple meals daily). But while I’ve teased him about his purchases, I admit to having enjoyed “perusing” the pantry to set a meal plan for the week. Not ours, but pantry-envy worthy!
2 ) Hanging on – There’s been a shift again working remotely ~ we haven’t re-ordered letterhead or business cards. With no in-person meetings now or anytime soon, there’s simply no need. Logos & return addresses can be affixed digitally, e-copies suffice. Conversely, my days are longer than ever because I start earlier and work later. I exercise early mornings but rarely take breaks or more than 15 minutes for lunch. It’s not uncommon to have Corporate schedule (video) calls that start at 5pm, 6pm or later. It’s a weird world nowadays. I’m adapting, what else can you do?
Hanging on!
3 ) Great trees make me grin – Below are a few of my favorite neighborhood trees ~ totally climb-able. Being raised a prairie child I shall forever appreciate a great tree.
Aren’t they gorgeous?
4 ) Quiet: The older and busier I get the more I savor quiet ~ the quiet of an early morning, a Sunday afternoon, or that moment when dusk turns to night. Hubbs is a TV-on-all-the-time kind of guy. He often wanders through the house to find me tucked into a book, the only sound that of a slow summer fan. Ahh.
“Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.” ― Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth.
The magic of a summer read in a house full of quiet.
5 ) Driving. I don’t know what’s up but some appear to have lost their ability to make rational decisions AND drive at the same time. I blame the masks!