If you think sunshine brings you happiness, then you haven't danced in the rain

rahhh
yesterday slept so much!
i calculated,
a total of 10.5 hours of lalaland
and i'm not even halfway done with exams!
rowena lee what do you think you are doing?!
so screwed for 102 on tuesday.
today is camping day at comp lab
to mug for the subject which i'm so gonna fail?
hahah funneh.
but i foresee that today and tmr will pass
swoosh, in the blink of an eye.
it's biz law on wednesday FIVE to SEVEN THIRTY
that will seem like the longest dreariest wait that will befall.

then it'll be freeeedom till christmas!
though i know i should expect many more deadlines
xphysique programmers church

but in the meantime,
jiayou for your mugging!
these are the four words that i so wont miss after exams.
hahaha
:D

dont you just miss the good old times.
sitting at the benches at the bustop.
look at the vehicles come and go.
and not be bothered by anything.
just let your mind wander freely
and aimlessly without worries
about what tomorrow might bring you.

wondering when's the next time i can do sucha thing.
forty fifty years time perhaps?
hmm.

i dont know.
just wish to spout some brainless nonsense now
after sitting for my first paper.
haha.

this is much harder than i expected.
i dont think i'm strong enough,
as i should be.

falling from grace.

Dear God please give me a little strength and hope.
and let me know you're there please

So let's take tonight
And never let go
While dancing we'll kiss
Like there's no tomorrow
As the stars sparkle down
Like a diamond ring
I'll treasure this moment
Till we meet again

But no matter how far
Or where you may be
I just close my eyes
And you're in my dreams
And there you will be
Until we meet

just wanna say that yesterday was a teary but blissful dinner i had.
nothing beats that really, thanks (:

the exams are drawing so near,
and for me i simply
dont really feel the pressure.
i feel the obligation to "study cos i need to"
but not the drive to score well.
the run this morning finally jolted me,
to realize that i must procrastinate no more!
revisited my studying tactics and i am proud to say
that its headed somewhere now.

though assignments are over,
i feel the pressure to complete studying and cramming
everything into my brain which i realize,
isnt that big after all these years
hmm..
no wasting away my life, youth and academia!
gpa important, everything else can wait.
is this the mentality that i should maintain?
at least for now right.
this should be the mindset of every tertiary student.

the creepy lift lobby that i shiver and loathe walking pass
every single time, even during the day.
its just part and parcel of life (in school)
it's me who has to change. to be brave enough
to walk through and overcome my fears.
or simply go for alternatives.
i should not be so dependent on company all the time right?
its all about changing myself in this. and not anyone else.

this seems to be the only way which you can read through
my thoughts almost always these days right.
everytime we meet, its either random nonsense
or just silence.
but i am getting used to it.
hopefully things will be different two weeks from now!
i cant wait!

sister's confirmation today
made me think about a whole lot of events.
i was reminded of my own confirmation!
its very blurred now, the memories.
but all i knew was that i was dressed in all white
and there were many photos taken on that
hot sunny sunday morning.
church people are still the same old bunch,
not much changes.
its a nice feeling,
that i can actually feel such sense of belonging,
something i never would've imagined just a mere 2yrs back?
its amazing how i've grown.
i am thankful for the acceptance and grooming.
going to ask roomie to go eyr with me!
lectors so pangseh, none can confirm.
hope that it'll be an enriching one.
that like nyc,
can kinder new friendships,
relight old ones
and relive forgotten and abandoned ones.

but in the mean time,
i'll be needing to study like never before,
and catch up on lost time.
time thats not on my side.
to all those taking papers as well,
jiayou!!
let's aim for the stars!
cos if we fail,
at least we'll land on the clouds (:

it's all about you
it's all about you baby
it's all about you
it's all about you

yesterday you asked me something i thought you knew
so i told you with a smile
it's all about you

then you whispered in my ear and you told me too
said you'd make my life worthwhile
it's all about you

and i would answer all your wishes if you asked me to
but if you deny me one of your kisses,
don't know what i'll do

so hold me close and say three words like you used to do
dancing on the kitchen tiles,
it's all about you

yesterday was one filled with many emotions.
somehow didnt feel very complete in the day time when
i attempted to study at the canteen.
then i went to meet roomie,
who just had a presentation
which was bad according to her,
and all i could do was just listen,
and unable to contribute advice or help.
helpless.
and just when i thought that i was bad enough a roomie,
it was time to leave her because i had to make my way back to kovan
to celebrate darling lizabeth's birthday!
thank goodness jane was there for polar.

dinner with liz, min, rach, ld and clara
was awesome (TRADEMARK from G. Ho)
chinese food never tasted better with this bunch of lovelies.
loads of camera sessions,
and attempted polaroids which ended in shambles
cos liz only had one available film.
roomie called to tell me that she was locked out of room
:/
the clique went to buy polaroids and i said bye.
went back to jurong,
within one hour surprisingly!
met sl but not for long cos i had to redeem roomie.
ONLY to realise that she was alr in her room.
she's classical.
i'm sorry roomie,
to just leave halfway
i promise it wont happen again,
for a long long time.
or ever.

to the one who's been there enduring my stupid highs and lows,
sacrificing and giving in to me,
unconditional(with some conditions) love <--haha
you bring out the best in me
like no one else can do
thats why i'm by your side
thats why i love you
(:

today was totally unproductive.
did three readings.
(N)
could definitely have pushed harder.
but the drive is hardly there.
thank goodness for roomie.

i'm eating a lot in hall.
the amount spent on food is
MORE than the amount spent studying.
dont ask me the basis of comparison,
i dont know.
and i'm spending a lot of time
thinking of intangible stuff also.
hahaha
cant wait for exams to end.

in the meantime,
i'll just try to study and not get too distracted.

sleep sleep sleep
thats all you do.

hall never felt so cold,
and scary at night.
with no one next to me
to talk trash,
and have weird supper desires.
i realise, i cant live without her!!!

sum41 brings nostalgia to the night.
no wonder the night you say,
is the best time to do things.
Here, Best of me- always my choice in underclass heroes.

It's so hard to say that i'm sorry
i'll make everything alright.
All these things that i've done
now what have i become
and where'd i go wrong

I don't mean to hurt, just to put you first
I won't tell you lies
I will stand accused with my hand on my heart
I'm just trying to say

I'm sorry, it's all that i can say
You mean so much and
i'd fix all that i've done,
if i could start again
i'd throw it all away
to the shadows of regret
and you would have the best of me.

I know that i can't take back
all of the mistakes but i will try
Although it's not easy
I know you believe me cause I would not lie

Don't believe their lies told through jealous eyes
they dont understand.
I will break your heart, i will bring you down,
but I will have to say

I'm sorry, it's all that i can say
You mean so much and
i'd fix all that i've done,
if i could start again
i'd throw it all away
to the shadows of regret
and you would have the best of me.

time is running out!
assignments are fortunately not piling up
thanks to the early wake up call
i got from my
mugger class.
hahaha scary shit.
so many things to study.
i musnt lag behind!
determined to make things work out
and excel even up till the last minute!
havent felt such a force in some time.
i'm so motivated!
maybe it's because of
the meal i'm going to eat later.
kimchi ramen!!!
wootz!