If you think sunshine brings you happiness, then you haven't danced in the rain

A part of me wants to find you tomorrow, really.
But I know I can't, so..

i tried, talking to you. so much.
and you judge me merely based on pictures.
i dont know what to say.
maybe i should follow your orders, and stop.

回头吧不要走不要这样离开我
恨太多没结果往事重提是折磨

Hao xin fen shou?

Well, you succeeded.
You asked how and what must you do so that you can get back and even with me right?
Its coming true. I feel the pinch now.
I miss you like crazy now, and you refuse to talk to me.
How long do I have to endure this?

Le, they say that in order to neutralize the alcohol effect in your body
its good to take acidic stuff to balance out.
like lime or lemon.
but i think you'll just cringe right.
eat orange or something okay.
i learnt during sports ball that cheese can make you less wasted too,
but you dont like cheese!
ohwell.
haha mogu mogu mango is not bad =)

is there really no way out?

One last thing, so important how could I forget!!
Please take care tomorrow and don't get drunk.
But don't worry. I'm always here I promise you..

Figured that you're not gonna talk to me.
I know it's your right to avoid me,
and wish to have nothing to do with me.
I would, if I were you.
So I guess virtual reality is the best and only way I can convey
my one sided thoughts to you.
Which honestly, is more than I can ask for,
If you even still read this blog of mine.
I will use this blog to talk to you, all the days that you ignore me.
This blog will be my best friend,
My only tool of communicating with you.
And that's cos I never treasured the real moments I had you by my side.
Foolish rowena.

Just wanna tell you that today as I was walking back,
There was this huge cockroach at the flats!
I walked past it. Are you proud of me, still?
And when I reach home, I realize my mum baked pineapple tarts already!
Wanna take some to you,
but don't know if they'll still be fresh by then.
Oh well. Chinese new year's coming so soon.
Guess what, I'm starting on my tutorials this week already.
Nat's vibes are really getting to me :/

tata for now =)

I will try again..

I can't let go. I don't want to let go. Something tells me that I can't let go and I won't let go. I don't want to let goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo.

Kill me please

i dont know if what i'm doing is correct,
but i know its the convenient way for me.
i dont know what my heart says,
i just know in my mind,
that i need to stop hurting you.
how else?
you wont believe me.
i think of you always,
your pig face is still on my mobile.
gosh.
this is not easy.
its my fault from the start.
i thank you for being gracious and loving,
and giving me the second chance which i should have treasured more.
but after monday night, i being a girl
cannot help but have my reservations.
its wrong to feel that way because our relationship means so much more than just that.
but i feel that i have become uncertain.
makes me wonder what will happen in future.

i say it is not true that i am like my "past".
my past haunts me in my mind to this very day.
my past was pure heartless,
doesnt blink even after doing wrong and been exposed.
i tried. i really tried.
i just cant find that flame back.
how can i continue if its just mere human effort i'm putting?
i'm not trying to justify.
i'm not telling you to stop blaming me.
i just hope you see my point of view.
i hate being hated.

i wanna learn to love you again.

Please don't walk out on me. Please. Please. Please, not like that. I want to make amends, I really am sorry. Please give me one last chance. That's all I ask of you. You don't need to do anything else. Let me do it. I wanna make things right again. I want to love you again. I want to show you that I can, and for us to really last for good. Please don't leave me alone. I can't do it myself. And I don't want to do it with anyone except you. I know I never should have done you wrong in the first place. I was childish and foolishly self-centered. All I ask, is this last opportunity to make good our relationship. Don't go. Please stay. Please.

My dear. I am sorry, and I never mean it more my whole life.

Dear diary. Thank God firstly, for sending me an angel these two years to walk with me and bring me abundant joy. I feel extremely comforted and loved by this angel, who has never complaint about my misdeeds.
But I was getting out of hand, and soon I began to feel the real need to treat my angel the way my angel has treated me. I fell from grace. I feel like if I am inferior, I do not deserve the angel. My angel should be released and free to be happy and bless the other people all around. People, who deserve my angel more than I do.
Now my angel is finally free, free to love and free to give. Hopefully to do so without and resentment and hatred from me. But I know I've hurt my angel a lot, very badly in fact. That's why I need to let go, to prevent more of such emotions from brewing.
Lord, please tell my angel that a very special position in my heart is reserved for my angel. It can never and will never be replaced. I don't want them replaced. I will keep all my memories of my angel close to my heart. How could I let something so special pass me by like that?
My angel might no longer be here, but I'll always be looking out of the window, amongst the crowd, and amidst my surroundings to have a peek at this dear angel of mine.
You're free, make love, not war.

I am sorry. You really, deserve nothing but the best. It's not me.

I don't really know why and how things turned out the way they have, but I want to thank you for being so very patient and enduring this whole time. It is an ordeal I know, to be going through something so tough and not knowing the reason behind it. I'm confused too. I hate myself for hurting you. You deserve so much better you know. I think about it all the time. But I just don't know the right things to say, to sound right. What's right, anyway.

Hello. How are you doing? I'm really fine thank you.