Life at the Keever House

Guess brother just REALLY wanted sister to see those fish...haha

I'm sure you're thinking, "Oh geeze, why did she use my middle name?"...so for the five hundred thousandth time, I love your middle name...and if you won't let me use it on one of our kids, I can at least use it in a letter.

Anyway, you're somewhere on the other side of the world right now...I have a general idea where, but don't know exactly. I hate not knowing where you are. Not because I'm some crazy controlling person, but because when I don't know your location it makes the distance all too real. You are 7500 miles and twelve time zones away...or something like that. That is SO far. Thank goodness you're in my heart...and thank goodness I can sit in our home and see you everywhere...

I see you in the big leather chair in the living room...I see you in the fridge every time I see tupperware full of leftovers...I see you in our closet--all of your shirts hanging neatly and color-coded...I see you in our back yard that you meticulously planned out...I see you in the three hundred pieces of mail that we get from USAA every week because you refuse to go "paperless"...I see you in the garage when I see your spotless "middle-aged man mobile" just sitting there...I see you at the top of the stairs every time I look at the many pictures from our travels together...I see you in the playroom when I remember you standing on a stool, hanging the artwork in there... I see you in the office, sitting at your big desk working, keeping this family afloat...and I see you in the faces of our children whenever I am near them.

I can't imagine being where you are. You are on a big tin can of a boat....the only reminders are pictures and video that you have saved on your computer. My heart breaks for you...while sometimes the reminders are painful, they are comforting too. What a sacrifice you make, my darling! I am inspired by your selflessness and strength every day. I wish I could send you a package with enough reminders to last you the rest of the deployment, but I don't think the post office allows packages that big. Hang in there, honey...it will be over soon...

For the time being, know that I am here...loving you and missing you so much that it hurts. I am sitting in your chair, eating leftovers, smelling your lingering scent on those organized shirts, marveling at the back yard that you designed, opening all of those envelopes and laughing, sitting in your car from time to time to "make sure it still runs", staring at the pictures of our adventures and realizing that I don't regret a single one, playing in the playroom and being thankful that you let me have it, sitting at your desk and trying to keep things going, and embracing our babies and wishing you were here to do it too.

I love you, Joshua. You are my hero.

Eden Melissa