January | 2013 | Kkhymn's Corner

So I have not posted in awhile. The holiday hustle first kept me busy, and trying to get my medical procedures done for my butt had several hurdles and delays. My dear, sweet cousins and Uncle from Korea surprised me with a Christmas gift of two Blythe dolls. I love them. I won’t post any photos right now, but I promise you will see photos in a future post. I want to share all the health care drama that has happened to me thus far in this New Year, making it the worst beginning ever. I am sharing it though so that any of you who are disabled and receiving benefits can hopefully avoid the “shock and awe” I am dealing with, and be better prepared if and when this happens to you.

January 2013

The New Year. January 2. I got a call from the specialty pharmacy that sends me my heart medication. They asked me if I changed my insurance cause the claim was denied cause I was no longer insured under my plan. I called my employee benefits department. I did not change anything with my health care choices but long story short, my employer somehow changed all my benefit selections and had me as married, with benefits only for my spouse, and in a plan I would never choose in a million years! I told them I have never been married, would never have chosen those health care plans, and I would at least have enrolled myself if I was married. It is a huge mess cause now I have no coverage for prescriptions and all my doctor appointments that I have scheduled every week!

To top things off, my insanely expensive heart meds are supposed to be completely paid for because of the assistance plans I am enrolled in. But, the specialty pharmacy said I had a bill for $650 from last year! I had to call my heart doc office to see if they can help straighten this out again – this happended before and was supposed to be fixed. But, they told me this was my co-pay!

And, to push me over the cliff, I got a letter on that same day stating that my long term disability from my employer is still under review cause they still did not have all my requested medical records. My benefits would be suspended in mid-January if the records are not received.

Week 2 of the New Year. More phone calls to doctor offices, my employee benefits department, the medical records department at my doctor’s hospital, and the long term disability folks. My insurance coverage was corrected and my medical records are finally being processed for review. The heart medication bill is still being looked into, and I thought it was finally just going to work itself out.

But, nope. Things just kept getting worse. I was overnighted a letter from my employer at the end of last week. The letter and all of its paperwork described a severance plan. It gave me less than 10 days to decide whether or not I wanted to take severance pay from my employer. If I don’t decide to “request” this pay, then they can still decide to terminate me without severance due to workforce needs.

This Does Not Protect You

Week 3 of the New Year. Really? I am on disabilty and they can still do this? From what I am reading on the internet, it seems like the answer is yes. Corporations can layoff anyone due to workforce needs and operational efficiency, especially non-represented (non-Union) employeees. Even if you are disabled and feel like you are targeted unfairly or discriminated against, it is very difficult to prove, especially when others who are not disabled are on the layoff list. Yes, it is unrealistic to think that your long term disabiltiy benefits will be paid for by your employer until retirement. It will eventually end. Still it came as a complete shock to me. I was and still am totally unprepared.

But, what is truly unfair to me and other employees who received this letter, is that we only have until this Friday to complete and send in the paperwork. In reality, I have until tomorrow, Wednesday, to make this decision, cause the paperwork has to be received by this Friday. It feels like a “Gun to the head type of decision” on something so important. My employer must have planned for this; a layoff is not a last-minute decision. They should have let me know last year that I was on this list, so I could have things in place so I could have health care coverage, some more savings, rather than this feeling of panic and dread.

I don’t even have time to find legal counsel to see if this is the right decision to make. Or even to confirm with them that this the only choice that I really have. I tried calling some non-profit, low cost organizations but really I just did not have enough time. For me, talking to a lawyer is not about suing anyone, including my employer. But having peace of mind that this decision is the most beneficial for me. It sucks. And, I hope it never happens to you or anyone else you know on disability.

If you are on disability now and are receiving benefits from your employer, just know this could and probably will happen to you some day. Your disability coverage will not last forever. Talk to someone now and ask them for advice about what to do if your company offers you a severance package or in some cases, an early retirement package. Figure out your options, and what is best for you while you have the chance and time to think it through.

What is Next? I have no clue. I have to call Medicare and figure out my medical coverage once I get terminated. I have to talk to my current doctors about what medications I can not afford to take any longer when I don’t have health coverage. My heart medication is definitely off my list. I can’t even afford it now, with the medical insurance. I am hoping my body will survive this. I am hoping I can get my doctors back once I do see what my health plan choices are and get coverage again. Financially, I will be broker than broke. I would be homeless except for Tony, who says he will deal with the rent payments while I try and figure what I can afford to contribute. We will both be making more sacrifices.

Can We Start Over?

A not so happy New Year. It really sucks. I feel guilty that this is happening to Tony too. I feel like I have less and less to contribute to the household now. My independence was already stripped as my body has gotten less able to live a normal life. My independence was stripped again when I was finally approved for Social Security disability, only to realize that my income is even less than when I was a student. And now, I feel even worse than ever. I don’t even have the funds to pay rent now that my employee benefits are going to end.

I will make the adjustments to my life again. Tony will make his sacrifices too. And, eventually, it will become a “new normal” again. But this is not normal. None of this is. I can’t work. I am in pain 24-7, totally exhausted half the time. I am tired of adjusting to the changes in my life, and having these “new normals”. I am tired of fighting just for my health, for more good days than bad. I am just tired.

Yeah. I will be ok eventually as I adjust. I just want you to know that on the inside, I am screaming and crying for my life back before my body gave up on me. And disabled people do not want to be disabled. They did not ask for this life. The benefits they receive and fight for are not “extras” or “entitlements” to enrich their lives. The benefits are earned, and help us try and survive.

Living one stitch at a time. And, hoping this helps someone not face this unprepared. And also lets them know they are not alone.