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January 13, 2015

Resolved …. in 2015

Posted by kkhymn under Knit and Crochet, Random Thoughts | Tags: , , |
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So the New Year is here – finally. And, I decided on some resolutions for the year. Resolutions I am determined to keep, for my own sanity and creativity.

Goodbye Facebook

Goodbye Facebook

First, I decided to give up Facebook for Lent, and actually delete my account this year. I realized that the way Facebook is built, you really end up feeling like life is a popularity contest with your posts, when it never has been for me. Suddenly, I found myself getting more upset with certain friends ignoring my posts and not others. Or not responding to my posts when I regularly respond to theirs. When in reality, your friend may have not seen your post in their newsfeed at all, or unintentionally missed your response in the midst of several others. Yeah, they may be ignoring you, but why was I becoming more and more cyber sensitive? When in the big picture, friendships should be based on more than that? And I was never a person who needed popularity or recognition?  Yes, my real friends are on Facebook and it was an easy way to see what they were up to, if their posts showed up on your newsfeed. But, no, it was not the same as picking up the phone, writing an email or letter, or meeting them for coffee. Facebook actually made me feel more isolated and alone in the end, rather than connected to anyone.

And then there is the constant news of the world and all its crises, reinforcing whatever political and socioeconomic views you already have, and not really creating any sort of meaningful dialogue. More often than not, my news feed would be filled with the latest statistics about the dysfunctional government, the latest school shooting, missing person or animal being cruelly abandoned or mistreated. Once in awhile there would be a feel good story about a random act of kindness, a charity event, or an inspirational quote. But all of it did the same thing after awhile – stole my spoons and time that I could be reading a real book, knitting a new project, having a conversation with a friends or family, or playing with the cats.

And this leads to my next resolution: To learn at least one new knitting technique this year. Actually, I want to learn new creative things all year long. whether it be with knitting, crocheting, sewing, art or dolly related. Even though I have been knitting for several years now, I still have plenty to learn. I want to learn how to cable, do entrelac, short rows, read charts properly, and more.

I have been knitting shawls lately, and found several that I want to do, but they have this shaping technique called short rows. Something I have avoided learning because people have told me it can to be difficult and take too much concentration. This month, I finally decided to learn how to do short rows, also called wrap and turn, in a knitting pattern.

I picked a shawl pattern that is almost completely based on short rows to learn the technique. The pattern is Pendulum, available for purchase on Ravelry. The pattern instructions were very vague, especially for someone new to the short row technique. I had to do a ton of research on short rows before I could even understand how to begin the pattern. But now that  I figured it out, the pattern has been very relaxing and enjoyable.

There are several different  ways to work short rows in knitting. Each method is different, and none of them are 100 percent invisible in your work. The short rows create little bumps, and if done correctly, leave minimal holes or gaps. I tried several versions of the short rows, including the German short row technique and the traditional wrap and turn.  Neither worked as well for me as this bobby pin technique (#3) shown very quickly in the video below:

 

I have created a photo tutorial on the short rows with a bobby pin, seen below.  It is based on the Pendulum pattern, but the concept is the same with any pattern using short rows.

In the Pendulum pattern, you work the two edge stitches and knit 18 stitches across before doing the turn for the short row. Then you work the row on the wrong side of the pattern. Then you work the next row on the right side of the pattern, knitting until you have gotten to stitch #18 on that short row. You pick up your wrapped stitch on the bobby pin and place it on your left needle, next to stich #19 on your needle. You knit that wrapped stitch together with the next stitch, #19. Then you start again by knitting 18 stitches past the stitch you have just knitted together.

I hope this helps someone learn short rows in knitting too. And encourage you to keep learning something new this year.

 

Short Rows in Progress

Short Rows in Progress

 

Short Rows in Progress

Short Rows in Progress

 

Finishing the Short Row

Finishing the Short Row

 

Resolved in 2015, I will be reading more books, sharing conversations with friends and Tony, learning something new, and playing with my cats. I will learn about what is happening in the world on my time, watching the evening news. My friends will remain and we will keep in touch as best we can the old fashioned way. And the random acts of kindness will continue, with or without recognition. Hopefully, I will find some balance in my life again, with some new opportunities and more time to reflect, relax and create.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

October 28, 2014

Celebrating Day of the Dead in the Midst of More Sad News

Posted by kkhymn under Random Thoughts, The Cat's Meow | Tags: , |
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Yoshi Boy

Yoshi Boy

It has been another tough few weeks. While still grieving Reina, we took Yoshi – our older cat – to our new vet for a check up. He suddenly stopped eating. The new vet did complete blood work, and also suggested we give him some B12 shots in the meantime to make him feel a bit better. Initially, we were hoping Yoshi just had a sensitive stomach, perhaps some IBS, in his old age. But, after running a highly accurate VDI-TK blood test, Yoshi was diagnosed with lymphoma (cancer).  Lymphoma is the most common cancer in cats. And the blood test, which was developed a few years ago, allowed for a non-invasive way to diagnose his condition, which we are grateful. There are two types of lymphoma in cats. one which is more aggressive than the other. We don’t know which kind Yoshi has, and we aren’t willing to put him through surgery and other tests to find out. Eighty percent of lymphoma in cats are the slow progressive kind, giving him a year or two in survival rate, with treatment of steroids and chemotherapy drugs. The more aggressive type of lymphoma in cats is more unpredictable, anywhere from six weeks to six months survival rate, even with treatment.

Right now we are giving Yoshi B-12 shots and steroids, to help his energy levels and reduce his inflammation levels. My dear friend Molly let me know of a site that sells natural health products for our pets. The site, Pet Wellbeing, has specific drops for cats and dogs with cancer, called Life Gold. And, it has gotten amazing reviews. I have ordered some and hope to give it to him to help him as he takes the drugs for the cancer. We are hoping to start his chemo drugs soon but he started getting a cold or some sort, and we have to wait until he is as healthy as possible before starting the chemo drugs. We don’t know how well his body will tolerate the chemo drugs, even though it is his best chance of slowing the cancer down or getting it into some sort of remission. It has been overwhelming and sad to know that our time with Yoshi boy is limited, and that he will be crossing the Rainbow Bridge too, so soon after Reina.

To help us cope and heal, we have decided to create a Day of the Dead altar this year. We know that next year Yoshi may be at the altar too, which makes me sad and want to cry endlessly again and scream at the universe, but I hope he knows how much we love and want him with us. Miya needs him to teach her how to be a good kitty and to be her playmate. She still follows him around even as he is sick, wanting to cuddle next to him.

Day of the Dead Kitty Altar

Day of the Dead Kitty Altar

Our altar is small and represents all our kitty fur babies at the Rainbow Bridge. We did not have room for all the photos of various cats who have crossed our path and are perhaps on the other side, but we have kitty Calaveras and totems to represent them too on the altar. The photos on the altar are Misty and Reina, two cat rulers of the house, when they were with us. There are paper marigolds,  a banner of paper cut outs, saints, Calaveras, a lotus flower, a candle, a favorite kitty toy, a crown for Reina’s head, and their favorite cat food flavor and treats. We covered the table with a bed sheet, and covered different sized boxes with pillow cases for the various levels on the altar. If you want to create your own Day of the Dead altar, it does not need to be complicated. Just have your favorite mementos, photos, food, flowers and candles.

For me, the Day of the Dead altar is a way to honor and remember our sweet cats, and connect with them this holiday season, thanking them for being in our lives and watching over us. Every night this week, we are lighting the candle to send love to Reina, Misty and our other fur babies. We will continue to connect to them this way until November 2, the Day of the Dead.

I miss you sweet Reina. I know Tony misses Misty too. We really don’t want to say goodbye to Yoshi anytime soon. If you can help him make his time with us as comfortable as possible, and help him cross over peacefully, we would be forever grateful. Thank you for picking out princess Miya kitty for us, and for helping her adjust so quickly to our home. Thank you for watching over all of us.

To learn more about Day of the Dead, click here for some basic information about the history, traditions and ways to celebrate. Remember to honor your loved ones all year long, and to celebrate them even after they have left this earth. Yes, we will still grieve over the loss, cry endless tears, and miss them. But don’t forget that they have not left you completely. They still live in your heart and memories. And they are watching over you as angels of love and light until you are reunited.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

 

 

August 5, 2013

Meet Abby Blythe …

Posted by kkhymn under Blythe Love, Random Thoughts | Tags: , , |
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Meet Abby Blythe

Ok. The stuff with Medicare continues. I have drastically decreased my doctor appointments cause I just don’t have to funds to pay for all of the it, even at 20 percent of the cost. I am really hoping I have insurance the last few months of the year. If not, cross your fingers that nothing goes wrong with my sad body. It is just the way life goes sometimes. I am trying not to stress out. I know next year I will have some sort of insurance, but I am still waiting to hear what social security will do with my benefit amounts after the work review, and it is getting harder not to worry about the funds you have now or the funds that you will not have in the future.

I have been keeping busy with my dolly groups on Ravelry and Facebook. There has been more dolly drama, which has been energy draining and sad.  But I am hoping things calm down and people can just move on and love their dolls. I know that in the “real world” people are not always 100 percent honest about things, people do get taken advantage of, and one’s generosity is not always appreciated. But what happened to “Doing unto others as you would like to be done to you?” Simple respect seems to have been forgotten these days, and I am just feeling as old as my body is acting. It is just sad.

On a happier note, I was able to get one of my “grail” girls. In dolly speak, a “grail girl” is the “holy grail” of dolls you long for on your wish list. I have a few “grail girls” on my wish list, but I have wanted a Blythe girl with long straight black hair and bangs ever since I started this hobby. And there were really only two girls that fit the bill – B2Holic Blythe and Bow Wow Tradition. The two dolls are from different doll molds, so they are not completely identical. But they are both limited edition dolls, and very hard to find for a reasonable price.

But, the universe was kind to me. I went on Blythe Kingdom and happened to see a used Bow Wow Tradition, sold nude, available for sale in the USA. I immediately negotiated the price and have been in love ever since with this girl. I have named her Abby, because I have now customized her to by my Abby Sciuto Blythe from NCIS. I love Abby’s character on NCIS, and I have wanted to do her as a Blythe doll for the longest time.

I did all the customizing myself:

I did slight lip carving. It really isn’t a skill I have mastered. I repainted her lips with three different colors of acrylic paints – red, burgundy wine, and black. I did not feel like changing her lashes, but managed to paint her eyelids black.

Abby's Skull Eyelids

Abby’s Skull Eyelids

Then I got these really cool vinyl skull nail stickers from Etsy and put them on her lids. The Etsy store is StickItVinyl, and she has pre-cut vinyl stickers for your nails that fit perfectly on Blythe eyelids. You just place the sticker on the eyelid and then rub it off with your fingernail to transfer it onto the desired surface. I put a coat of clear varnish on top of the sticker to protect and seal it. The sticker does not interfere with the eye mechanism because it is so thin, and it is perfect for me because I can not draw or paint anything cool on eyelids.

I also gave Abby all new eye chips. I painted one set metallic black with acrylic paint. And the other three sets were painted with metallic nail polish! I painted a couple layers of nail polish, then one layer of top coat,  then added the paper foil backing that came with each eye. It protects the eyes and eye socket from any potential damage from the nail polish, and protects the polish from any glue in the eye socket. She got a pair of ruby red eyes, smoky grey eyes, and sparkly olive green eyes all with nail polish! The nail polish are so rich and have a different sheen than the acrylic paints. I am definitely becoming a nail polish addict again, thanks to Blythes!

I also found the perfect pull charms for Abby. I got a skully butterfly shaped rib cage pendant from a necklace at the Hot Topic store at the mall. And, a Jack Skellington pull charm from Etsy. I added a few beads to her pull strings too.

Abby's Nailpolish eyes

Nail Polish Eyes

Then came the hunt for the perfect outfit. I had a friend of mine custom make me an outfit for Abby, including the white lab coat. Then found more punk style outfits and boots on Ebay and Etsy, and had a friend make me an NCIS t-shirt too. I got a Caf-Pow drink from the CBS store, and knitted the perfect grey hippo using Rebecca Danger’s Harriet the Haberdashery Hippo pattern. I used Lorna’s Laces sport weight yarn for the smaller sized hippo, the colorway was 50 Skeins of Grey -Charlie Tango.

Abby and I have had some great adventures together. We have taken a short walk in the woods (aka my backyard) and were surprised with tickets to the Circus last weekend. My body is not happy and is screaming bloody murder after this outing, but it was so worth it. You can see the circus photos in my Flickr set here. I had never been to the circus before, and I had more fun than the kids around me. I definitely needed some fun to fight the bad with some good.  I am also slowly becoming a baseball fan – the Dodgers – watching the games on t.v. and learning all the lingo. You may see one of my dolls in a Dodger outfit soon. LOL.

Still practicing random acts, just more quietly in the background. I just don’t think people get what I do with my knitting and the random acts. It doesn’t seem to inspire others to follow and practice their own. Maybe they are practicing it quietly in the background too. I have stopped worrying about it or trying to get others to follow. I am just doing what I do. Keep sharing the dolly and monster love.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

June 28, 2013

Have a Beautiful Day …

Posted by kkhymn under Blythe Love, Doll Collection, Living with Chronic Illness, Random Thoughts, The Cat's Meow | Tags: , , , |
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A Beautiful Day

A Beautiful Day

Well, I have been struggling along still. Minimizing my medical stuff until I can figure out all the Medicare coverage, which still needs sorting out. Worse case scenario, I have no coverage for the last four months of the year. Not having physical therapy appointments is killing my mojo to get anything done – crafts, knitting, running errands, and just going out is a challenge. But, I am trying to stay positive and believe things will get better eventually. Each day is unpredictable.

Reina kitty has her own share of medical stuff. A few weeks ago, she started squinting her right eye. It seemed like she was blinking at first. But, then it completely shut. I took her to the vet to find out she had a corneal ulcer! If it did not heal properly, she could lose her vision in that eye. Yikes! We did her eye drops faithfully, and four days later, she was all healed. But, it did not stop there.  A week and a half after her first corneal ulcer, she had another one in the same eye! The vet suggested we take her to a vet ophthalmologist, cause something more serious could be going on my sweet girl’s big eyes. I did not even know that existed. A kitty eye specialist?  We took her to the vet ophthalmologist and now Reina most likely has feline herpes virus. It lays dormant in cats who have been exposed to the virus, and then flares up in times of stress.

My first thought was “Oh no. My sweet kitty has a chronic condition like her mum.” It makes me sad to think my sweet Reina is stressed out in some way. The condition is treatable with more eye drops. We have to follow up with the specialist in three weeks to see if it has healed completely. And, then hope that she doesn’t have another corneal ulcer any time soon. If she does, more tests to figure out what else may be going on. I need my sweet Reina to be better, for good. Her sweet big eyes don’t need this. I have enough chronic crap for the entire household. Please send her some kitty mojo, love and prayers. And, of course, any prayers for financial miracles to recover for the vet bills would be appreciated.

I am trying to stay positive despite it all. And my dolly collection continues to change, with some dolls going to new homes and other new girls coming in. I have fallen in love with Pullip dolls. They are big eyed dolls, like Bythes. But Pullips have more articulation in their bodies, allowing for great posable photos. You can also easily change their looks with different wigs. What a difference new hair makes! They have little sisters called Dals and Byuls. I have managed to get a couple of Dals in my collection too. There are several US sellers for Pullips, Dals and Byuls. It makes it so much easier to get that dolly mail. Several US sellers are even on Amazon, with dolls on Amazon Prime! Perfect for the impatient collector. LOL.

I was reminded of a wonderful music artist named India Arie this week. She was on Good Morning America promoting her new album. I started thinking of how wonderful her songs are – speaking love, truth and strength in her lyrics. One of my favorites is titled “A Beautiful Day” and it is what I wish for everyone, no matter what their struggles are. May you have more good days than bad, and things to be grateful for each day. I know it is not easy to be grateful or positive in the midst of endless crap. But, it helps me live in the now and make it to the next day, hour, minute.

I also know my friends want to pray and wish for a miracle for me. Something that would fix and cure me from the lupus, fibromyalgia, back and butt pain, and everything on my medical list. But, for whatever reason, this is what has been given to me. I don’t look for the cures and hope for the miracle healings anymore. I look and find the smaller things of every day life to celebrate and be grateful for. And celebrate the mini miracles. It is the way I can find my beautiful days in the midst of my daily battles.

Let this song sing in your day today. Let it run through your head, and speak to your heart. Don’t worry about fixing me. Don’t feel sorry for me. Celebrate you. Your life. And have a beautiful day.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

July 9, 2012

I Heart Blythe

Posted by kkhymn under Blythe Love, Living with Chronic Illness, Random Thoughts | Tags: , , |
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Well, I am finally feeling a bit like my old chronic self. I had to start a second course of antibiotics for the cold/flu from hell. My doctor actually thinks I ended up with whooping cough! Really? How the hell does that happen? My eye infection finally cleared up too. But, the bad news was that I am officially old – I need bifocals! I picked out a pair of pink glasses, and settled with the bifocals with lines on them; they were cheaper than the ones without the lines, and my prescription is expensive enough on its own.

I Heart Blythe

I have finally found my knitting mojo again too. Knitting more monsters and monkeys. But I have also been obsessed with Blythe dolls – 12-inch collectible dolls made in Japan, that make me wish I was 12 years old again. These dolls have beautiful facial features, large eyes that change color, and look so much better than the old Barbie dolls I had as a child.

I have always been frustrated with dolls because they only came with blonde hair and blue eyes. I never found one that had dark hair and brown eyes like me. But these Blythe dolls have all sorts of colors for their hair and eyes, and I am officially in love with them. If only I could win the Lotto. But wait, then I would actually have to enter it to win it. Damn.

Even though I walk with a cane, and will soon be wearing bifocals, I am finding myself wanting and wishing I was young again. When life was a little simpler, and my body was not so chronic with all the crap. I think that is why I love knitting the monsters and critters too; they are comforting and remind me of childhood hopes and dreams. Oh, the Blythe dolls would look so great with my monsters!

Living with chronic crap does make you want to find comforts and happiness with the little things in life. A knitted toy to hug, kisses from your sweet kitty or dog, skeins of yummy yarn, and wishes for Blythe dolls. Even a scoop of ice cream is a small moment of joy in the midst of a long day of pain.

You get so tired of doctor’s appointments, lab tests and procedures taking over your life, medical bills that never end, and all your body parts not cooperating like it used to. You just want to forget it all and focus on something that makes you happy. Even if what will make you happy is a 12-inch doll with big eyes, and long dark colorful hair. Yeah. Wishing for a doll that costs over $150 seems nuts to the normal person, but it makes sense to me. I know what I really want is just to find something to distract me from my chronic life, and make me feel happy again.

I Heart Blythe.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

June 25, 2012

Monster Love for Your Car …

Posted by kkhymn under Random Acts, Random Thoughts | Tags: , |
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So I am sick deathly sick from this flu/cold. Add an eye infection (pink eye), and my body is just about ready to keel over.  Yeah, when I get sick, I give it my all. But, one thing has really cheered me up – some  monster love for my car!

I wanted to do something to show my love of monsters on my car. Tony did not want me to get any custom items for my license plate or frame. And, I wanted something a little bit more obvious and unique. I searched for vinyl decals for the car that were monster-like; there was very little out there.  I did find one seller on Etsy though – Stephen Edward Graphics – who had some great monster decals for decorating your walls or laptop computer.

I originally custom ordered a decal with a peace symbol, a heart and a monster. You know, “Peace, Love, Monsters”. I anxiously awaited for the item to arrive. I showed it to Tony and asked him to help me put it on the car. Man-brain hit cause he did not want me to “clutter” my car with girly items. He even suggested that he would not drive my car if I put a decal on it. Yeah, I know. Blame it on the man-brain.

Share the Monster Love

I decided to compromise and just put the monster decal on my car, without the more girly peace and heart symbols.  I know that I could have put it all on the car window, just to show Tony that I don’t care what he thinks my car should have on it. But, reality is, that I do care about him, even if I disagree with his opinion.  Life is too short not to compromise with the ones that you love and with those who love you.

I just love this monster on my car. He just brings my car a great personality. Don’t you want to order one for your car? The vinyl decals are removable, and won’t damage your car. It comes with easy to understand instructions and tools to place it perfectly on your car window for the world to see.

How to Order Your Own Monster Decal:

  1. Contact Stephen Edward Graphics on Esty, let him know you want to place an order for a decal for your car window.
  2. Select a monster (or other decal)  from his laptop decals page.
  3. Place a custom order for the item in gloss white. If you order one in any other color, it won’t show up as well on your window.

Show some monster love for your car. And when folks ask you why a monster, tell them it’s all about random acts.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

December 15, 2011

Monster Christmas Greetings – From Grrr!

Posted by kkhymn under Knit and Crochet, Living with Chronic Illness, Random Acts, Random Thoughts | Tags: , , |
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Monster Christmas Greetings

Well, today I got the best Christmas card ever.  It came from one of my monsters, named Grrr, and owner and protector of Charles, a young boy with a rare form of muscular dystrophy.  Charles got Grrr several months ago, and they have been together ever since. Charles wanted to send me an extra special holiday card this year, from him and his monster Grrr. And, it just made my day.

Charles even included a story about who Grrr is with his card. I have retyped it below. For the knitters out there, Grrr is made of 100% wool yarn that felts in the wash; that is why the monster is afraid of the water and dryers. Isn’t that so clever of Charles to figure out?

Charles and Grrr

”My monster’s name is Grrr. He has a monster-sized appetite. He can eat raw meat and any other food options people can eat (e.g., cookies, cake, ice cream sundaes, etc.). He will drink a puddle of mud if he has too and if his life depends on it. He is afraid of warm water and dryers because they might make him shrink. He likes to exercise so he can stay in shape. He will fight off almost anything if his life or someone else’s life depends on it – especially his friends. He is a light sleeper because he is always on guard. If he concentrates, he can levitate. If he gets distracted he falls.”

You can read more about Charles and Duchenne’s Muscular Dystrophy in my blog post here. Please keep Charles and his daily battles in prayer. And, don’t forget to spread the monster love with random acts of kindness this holiday season and in the New Year.

And, thank you Charles so much for the best Christmas gift an auntie could get! I love and care for you little man. You and your mom and dad are in my prayers. And you are one of the bravest persons I know. Hug your monster Grrr and I hope you have a wonderful Christmas too.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

August 5, 2011

Monsters, Prayer and The Letter “T”

Posted by kkhymn under Knit and Crochet, Living with Chronic Illness, Random Acts, Random Thoughts | Tags: , , , , |
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So this week I have had a string of doctor appointments, and was able to give two more monsters away. One went to a woman in my physical therapy office. She did not want her photo or name made public because not all her family members knew about the health battles she is facing right now.  But, she loved her monster. And, now, the physical therapy staff know me as the monster girl. LOL.

So, it’s official. The health condition I get this year is brought to you by the letter “T”. I have an under-active thyroid. Started another new medication this week, and hoping it does something to give me more spoons. My new heart doc has permitted me to up my Revatio (Viagra for the heart) medication.  And, I am hoping all my medications just play nicely with each other. We’ll just have to see.

Back to the monsters …

Monsters Have a Heart

The second monster I gave away was to Bridget. She was in the waiting room with her two sons at my heart appointment today. She has a huge oxygen tank with her because she has basically lost her lungs to Sjogren’s and pulmonary fibrosis. These chronic conditions have come in her life suddenly, with no known cause.  She is on the waiting list for a lung transplant, and she and her family will remain in my prayers.

I explained to her a little bit about my life, and how I am knitting these monsters and hoping this one will help her through her good and bad days. Her boys babysat their mom’s monster while she had her appointment, and they said “Thank you for giving my mom a monster.”

Sjogren’s Syndrome is an autoimmune condition where a person’s white blood cells attacks its own moisture producing glands.  More than 4 million Americans are living with this chronic condition. So far, Sjogren’s is not on my long list of chronic conditions. But, like lupus, your body decides to attack itself for no known reason. To read more about Sjogren’s, visit the Sjogren’s Syndrome Foundation web site.

Pulmonary Fibrosis occurs when there is damage, scarring and thickening of the lung tissues. The causes and severity of the disease vary. For Bridget, part of the cause could be Sjogren’s syndrome.  She told me her lungs are destroyed, and that it means living with an oxygen tank until she can get a lung transplant.  It is what she prays for.

I realized today that making and giving these monsters to others is my form of prayer. It is my way to show others that they are not alone in their battles. And, a small way for me to share my heart.

I don’t say anything about God when I give away my monsters. I don’t make my monsters to covert or preach to anyone. But, somehow, these monsters have become prayers in my life for each of us. For more good days than bad. For the strength to keep going when we want to give up. For random acts of kindness when we need them the most.

Prayer doesn’t have to be formal or meditative. Prayer can be as simple as breathing and giving a little something to the world around you.  A note, a phone call, a hug. And, even a monster.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

December 9, 2010

Today I Said Goodbye …

Posted by kkhymn under Random Thoughts, The Cat's Meow
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Today I said goodbye to three of our cats – Gabriel, Linda and Misty.  I was trying to hold on to them as long as possible, but it was getting harder each day whenever they wanted to cuddle up with me, sit in my lap or have meow-ful conversations. And, I don’t know if I could have done it if I waited too close to the Christmas holiday.

So, today I took them to the local shelter. I was fine until the front receptionist looked up at me and asked, “How can I help you?”. Then my eyes welled up with tears and I whispered back, “I need to give you my 3 cats; they are in the car and I need help bringing them in.” Then the tears began to fall as they gave me all the paperwork I needed to fill out on each cat. The shelter gave me a few minutes to say goodbye to them while they glanced at me through their caged carriers. I could not stop crying.

I had to go to the doctor this afternoon so I forced myself to not stay home and cry all day in bed. But, I am so sad right now. I hope they forgive me. I hope I can forgive myself. I know we are doing the best thing for Tony and me right now but the tears keep falling.

Please pray that they will somehow have a Christmas miracle and find new homes soon.  Even though Reyna is with me still and Yoshi will be too, I am just so sad. And, I can’t afford to be sad right now; too many things to do before this move is done.  And, my emotions can not get the best of me when my body already has its own problems.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

November 29, 2010

It’s Moving Time!

Posted by kkhymn under Living with Chronic Illness, Random Thoughts
1 Comment 

Home Sweet Home

So, the big news for me right now is that Tony and I found a home to rent and we are moving in next month! It is going to be a big step for both of us, and a great place for us to start a new stage of our lives together.

Tony has been so wonderful trying to take care of me on the weekends, and I know I will feel safer not being alone at home. There have been so many days or nights when I really have had a hard time caring for myself. It will be great having Tony in my life full-time and not only on the weekends.

But moving will bring some sacrifices for both of us, namely our cats.  It was unrealistic for us to think we can find a rental home that will allow for all five of our cats. And, there are city laws that limit the number of pets per household. So, we are going to be giving up our three oldest cats to new homes or a shelter next month, and just have Reyna and Yoshi. We have had our cats for more than a decade each, and it is going to be very sad for us to give them up. But, the added reality is that taking care of five cats will be really physically hard for me, as well as keeping up with a new home. Please pray for me during this time of transition and for the cats to find a good home.

So,  it’s moving time. By the end of the year, we will finally be together in our own rental home. This move has been a quick one for us, and a wonderful Christmas gift. Who knows what other beautiful surprises the new year will bring.

And, if you have any spare spoons to help me pack and move, please share them with me.

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