The Cat’s Meow

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October 28, 2014

Celebrating Day of the Dead in the Midst of More Sad News

Posted by kkhymn under Random Thoughts, The Cat's Meow | Tags: , |
1 Comment 
Yoshi Boy

Yoshi Boy

It has been another tough few weeks. While still grieving Reina, we took Yoshi – our older cat – to our new vet for a check up. He suddenly stopped eating. The new vet did complete blood work, and also suggested we give him some B12 shots in the meantime to make him feel a bit better. Initially, we were hoping Yoshi just had a sensitive stomach, perhaps some IBS, in his old age. But, after running a highly accurate VDI-TK blood test, Yoshi was diagnosed with lymphoma (cancer).  Lymphoma is the most common cancer in cats. And the blood test, which was developed a few years ago, allowed for a non-invasive way to diagnose his condition, which we are grateful. There are two types of lymphoma in cats. one which is more aggressive than the other. We don’t know which kind Yoshi has, and we aren’t willing to put him through surgery and other tests to find out. Eighty percent of lymphoma in cats are the slow progressive kind, giving him a year or two in survival rate, with treatment of steroids and chemotherapy drugs. The more aggressive type of lymphoma in cats is more unpredictable, anywhere from six weeks to six months survival rate, even with treatment.

Right now we are giving Yoshi B-12 shots and steroids, to help his energy levels and reduce his inflammation levels. My dear friend Molly let me know of a site that sells natural health products for our pets. The site, Pet Wellbeing, has specific drops for cats and dogs with cancer, called Life Gold. And, it has gotten amazing reviews. I have ordered some and hope to give it to him to help him as he takes the drugs for the cancer. We are hoping to start his chemo drugs soon but he started getting a cold or some sort, and we have to wait until he is as healthy as possible before starting the chemo drugs. We don’t know how well his body will tolerate the chemo drugs, even though it is his best chance of slowing the cancer down or getting it into some sort of remission. It has been overwhelming and sad to know that our time with Yoshi boy is limited, and that he will be crossing the Rainbow Bridge too, so soon after Reina.

To help us cope and heal, we have decided to create a Day of the Dead altar this year. We know that next year Yoshi may be at the altar too, which makes me sad and want to cry endlessly again and scream at the universe, but I hope he knows how much we love and want him with us. Miya needs him to teach her how to be a good kitty and to be her playmate. She still follows him around even as he is sick, wanting to cuddle next to him.

Day of the Dead Kitty Altar

Day of the Dead Kitty Altar

Our altar is small and represents all our kitty fur babies at the Rainbow Bridge. We did not have room for all the photos of various cats who have crossed our path and are perhaps on the other side, but we have kitty Calaveras and totems to represent them too on the altar. The photos on the altar are Misty and Reina, two cat rulers of the house, when they were with us. There are paper marigolds,  a banner of paper cut outs, saints, Calaveras, a lotus flower, a candle, a favorite kitty toy, a crown for Reina’s head, and their favorite cat food flavor and treats. We covered the table with a bed sheet, and covered different sized boxes with pillow cases for the various levels on the altar. If you want to create your own Day of the Dead altar, it does not need to be complicated. Just have your favorite mementos, photos, food, flowers and candles.

For me, the Day of the Dead altar is a way to honor and remember our sweet cats, and connect with them this holiday season, thanking them for being in our lives and watching over us. Every night this week, we are lighting the candle to send love to Reina, Misty and our other fur babies. We will continue to connect to them this way until November 2, the Day of the Dead.

I miss you sweet Reina. I know Tony misses Misty too. We really don’t want to say goodbye to Yoshi anytime soon. If you can help him make his time with us as comfortable as possible, and help him cross over peacefully, we would be forever grateful. Thank you for picking out princess Miya kitty for us, and for helping her adjust so quickly to our home. Thank you for watching over all of us.

To learn more about Day of the Dead, click here for some basic information about the history, traditions and ways to celebrate. Remember to honor your loved ones all year long, and to celebrate them even after they have left this earth. Yes, we will still grieve over the loss, cry endless tears, and miss them. But don’t forget that they have not left you completely. They still live in your heart and memories. And they are watching over you as angels of love and light until you are reunited.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

 

 

September 4, 2014

Knitting Through It, Hope Gardens and Miya

Posted by kkhymn under Knit and Crochet, Living with Chronic Illness, Random Acts, The Cat's Meow
[3] Comments 
Hope Garden Monsters 2014

Hope Garden Monsters 2014

It seems I have been in a pool of endless tears for the past month as we waited for Reina to say her final farewell to us. I tried to stay sane and “normal” as best as possible and really spent quite a bit of time “knitting through it” all. I have knitted several RAKs for different projects and people, who are all fighting different battles in their lives.

I have knit several critters that I have never tried before – including several pill bugs, a couple of knitted chickens and a hedgehog. And, last week, as I grieved and prepared to send Reina with the angels, I knit until I couldn’t anymore. I knit FIVE monsters in ONE week for this year’s Monsters in Hope Gardens project. In the midst of my darkest hours, knitting distracted me from the tears and sorrow. And reminded me that I can still give love and light in the midst of the darkness.

Hope Gardens is a homeless shelter for women and children who are escaping abuse. Every year my friend Bonnie Jacobs makes several monsters to give to the shelter just before the Christmas holiday. Several of us knitters and crocheters contribute each year. You can see the project details on Ravelry on Bonnie’s page here. There is still time to donate handmade monsters and critters, so please join in.

After Reina left with the angels, I thought my tears would drown me completely. I could not even knit. Tony tried to distract me in his own way, but I couldn’t stop crying. I wanted to die with her. A part of me has died with her, even though I know she is still with me in my heart.

Then yesterday I woke up with less tears. And, I felt Reina tell me that it was ok to get another girl kitty. Reina wanted me to stop crying and to know she is ok. And she wanted me to have another girl kitty as a birthday present from her. My birthday isn’t for several months, but Reina would have been six years old this week. She wanted to give me a present on her birthday. And it was ok to accept her in my heart too.

Tony and I went to the local animal shelter. And we saw so many sweet kitties waiting for adoption. I asked Reina to help us find the perfect sweet tempered girl to join our family. One that would get along with Yoshi, our older boy cat. I saw a sweet tortoise colored cat with the most beautiful, unique markings on her face and paws. I held her and she just purred and stayed in my arms. We took her home. She was five or six months old, spayed, had a microchip and updated on her shots. It was a blessing to not have to do all that with her.

Meet Miya

Meet Miya

Her shelter name was Macadamia. Much too long for a cat name, and definitely not pretty enough for this girl. Today we named her Miya. It is Japanese and pronounced Mee-yah, meaning “beautiful, princess, temple”. Miya is already at home with us, cuddling and running around the house looking for Yoshi to play with and be friends.Yoshi still isn’t used to her yet, but he will come around in time.

Thank you my dear sweet Reina for giving Miya to us. She will never replace you, and you will always be the queen of my heart. I will love you forever.

How do we change the world? One random act of kindness at a time. Keep sharing the love and light, fight the darkness in this world, with your gifts of kindness.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

August 30, 2014

The Rainbow Bridge

Posted by kkhymn under Living with Chronic Illness, The Cat's Meow
[3] Comments 
Reina is My Angel

Reina is My Angel

Today we said farewell to our dear queen Reina kitty. Last week I had the opportunity for archangels to visit our home, and I asked them to take her across the Rainbow Bridge with them. Today, she crossed the bridge with the angels. It was heartbreaking. I don’t know if my heart will ever mend.

The house vet arrived at 11:15 a.m. and administered the two injections. I had lit a white Reiki candle specifically for this moment, to help her cross the Rainbow Bridge. I reminded her to hiss at God for me. The vet had never heard anyone say that before, but she agreed it was so appropriate for the moment.

The first injection made Reina meow loudly, in shock and inevitably with some pain because was just skin and bones in my lap. I held her tightly and told her everything was ok, as her song “You Are My Sunshine” played in the background. Within several minutes, she fell to a deep sleep. The second injection went quickly into her system, as I cried endless tears, kissed her tenderly and said goodbye. We all said our final farewell before she was taken away.

We love you Reina. You will forever be queen in my heart. Thank you for the love and happiness you have shared with us.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

August 15, 2014

Saying Goodbye to my Queen

Posted by kkhymn under Living with Chronic Illness, Reiki, The Cat's Meow | Tags: , , |
[9] Comments 
Baby Girl Reina

Baby Girl Reina

I have not been posting in a long while. I know I promised to post photos of some the latest projects and RAKs, but life has been overwhelming and insane. My medical challenges continue, including getting all the coverage straight for my bills and prescriptions. And, the social security administration keeps asking for more information over and over again, threatening to cut my disability benefits if I don’t do it all correctly and fast enough. And, there have been more vet visits and tests and medications for my sweet kitty Reina.

The test results showed that she was suffering from aplastic anemia. It is when the bone marrow is being attacked, and her white blood cells, red blood cells and platelets are all below normal. She doesn’t have cancer or any feline virus to cause this, so it was determined that it was an immune mediated response. Translation: My Reina has lupus.

We have been treating Reina with various doses of steroids, and my sweet girl did seem to be improving some. But I think she is just being a trooper for me and the rest of the family. When I took her to the vet this week, she had a high fever, and her red blood cell count was well below normal, and she had not gained any weight at all. They wanted to do a transfusion to up her red blood cell count, but they would need to have her on IV fluids again first to get her fever down. The total cost for both would be another $3,000. And, in the end, it would only be a band aid to help buy one or two weeks time to try more medications and dosages, which still may not work to bring her into remission. And, most likely a second transfusion may be needed as we wait to see if any of the new medications and dosages are working.

We decided to stop further treatment for my sweet girl. My heart is breaking, but I just don’t want my baby girl to keep struggling and living her life in and out of the hospital. She finally got most of her hair back from all the tests and stuff done to her, and she likes having sexy little paws again. She stretches them out to show us how she has her fur back.

My sweet baby girl has her birthday next month. If she makes it, she will be six years old. Much too young to leave this earth. But I know what she is doing is a supreme sacrifice for me. She is taking some of my lupus with her and I will be eternally grateful. We are taking things day by day now, and when she is ready to go, she will tell us. We have found some vets who will come to your home within 24 hours to euthanize with compassion. If you want to consider this option for your pet, check out this site: http://www.petlossathome.com/ to find a local veterinarian who performs this service.  I don’t know if she will need that or if she will go on naturally, but I am cherishing every day with her.

I know to some of you reading, you will never understand what this girl means to me. She is “just a cat”. But Reina picked me. See my first post about her here.

You Are My Sunshine

You Are My Sunshine

She picked me years ago at the cat show because it was her destiny to be with me. She has been my companion every day, keeping me company as each one of my friends and co-workers disappeared from my real life. (I am not blaming my friends for this, it happens with chronic illness. You get more and more isolated as you live a completely different life than your friends and co-workers.) Reina used to sleep with me on my pillow and wake me up every day. She stopped doing that when she started getting sick last January.

But she still gets up every time I go to take a shower or a quick bath, cause she knows I have trouble breathing in there. She follows me to the kitchen to help me make dinner, sitting on the step stool, cause she knows sometimes I fall in there. She helps me pick out colors when I am knitting a project, and even watches me knit, letting me know when the yarn is a bit out of control. When I get ready to go out, and want to put makeup on, she sits with me at the vanity table to put our makeup on together and looks in the mirror approvingly. She is no ordinary cat. She is my queen, and I love her more than anyone will know.

I told her this week that it is ok for her to go now, I understand what she must do. I thanked her for sacrificing her body for me, and for sharing the lupus. I told her she does not have to stay for me anymore.  My friend told me that Reina considers it a privilege to do this for me, it is her calling and destiny, and the highest honor a pet can have to take some of the illness away. She also said that Reina’s spirit will still be with me when she leaves her body. Reina said she is going to stay with me until I am ready to leave this earth too.

Another friend reminded me that animals are not tied to this like we humans are. They understand their place in the universe, and that everything has its time. Reina will know when it is time to go. She doesn’t understand why I am so sad to see her go, because in her mind, she will still be with me. So I am trying not to cry endlessly. I want her to feel the love I have for her, and not the sadness. I want her to go knowing I will be ok. I also told her to hiss at God for me when she gets up there for me. She never hisses, so I am sure it will be quite a shock to God to hear that coming from her. LOL.

I have been practicing my Reiki again and trying to see the bigger picture in the midst of all this insanity. The universe is bigger than all the crap in our lives, and I am trying to accept and embrace that infinite awareness of love and light.  But it is not easy. I am grateful to Reina for helping with all this, even as I learn to say goodbye to her. Every day now I will sing her song to her – “You Are My Sunshine”. And I will sing it to her when we say our final farewell. She is my sunshine. She is always going to be the love and light in my universe.

I love you Reina. I thank you for watching over me on this earth and for the kitty kisses, hugs and love. I will treasure the last days I have with you. It has been a privilege to be your human mom on this earth.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

June 17, 2014

Prayers for Reina, Dolls for Sale

Posted by kkhymn under Blythe Love, Living with Chronic Illness, Reiki, The Cat's Meow | Tags: , , , |
[4] Comments 
Prayers for Reina

Prayers for Reina

I know I have not posted in a long while. I have been busy focusing on the hassles of health insurance issues and the after affects of not being able to afford everything for my own doctor appointments and medications. Mainly, a screaming body. I have managed to still knit and do random acts of kindness in the midst of it all, making adorable critters for folks who need them. I will post photos and their stories another time.

Right now I need your prayers and mojo for my dear sweet kitty Reina. For the past several months, since February, we have been taking her back and forth to the vet for symptoms of dehydration, fever, lethargy and anemia. We have run blood tests, given her IV fluids, antibiotics, and even undergone an ultrasound and bone marrow tests. The vet bills have been astronomical, so far totaling close to $5,000. Her red blood cells, white blood cell and platelets are below normal right now; and fluctuating. Her albumin levels are also below normal. I am still waiting to hear from the vet today to confirm it isn’t cancer, and hope that it is something actually treatable. It has been heartbreaking and stressful to see her go through all this and not know what is ahead.

Chances are it isn’t cancer, but I won’t know for sure until all the tests are in. My sweet Reina may also have an autoimmune condition causing this. It would be extremely rare, but she could actually have lupus, just like me. I am devastated at the thought of her having this too, but the possibility for treatment is there.

I have started doing my Reiki again, and doing Reiki with Reina too. It seems to be helping her, as she is perky, alert, feisty and still acting  like her old self. She is sleeping more, but when she is awake, she seems quite happy. There is a theory out there in the universe that sometimes pets absorb the owner’s energy and illnesses to help clear the karma and help with their illness. It is supreme love from the pet to its owner. I am open to this possibility, but I want Reina and I to get better together, as I am not ready to say goodbye. I don’t think she is yet either.

Queen Reina

Queen Reina

Tony is putting all the vet charges on one credit card right now. And I am selling my dolls on Facebook to try and raise funds to contribute the bills. Right now my Gillian Merida and Alice in Wonderland Blythe girls are up for adoption. I have put the details of the dolls up on Facebook here. Please message me if you are interested. These dolls are priced high because of the expensive mohair scalps, hand painted eye chips, new pull charms and custom details on the face.

This is my prayer to the Universe for my sweet girl Reina, if you would please say it with me:

Dear Universe, Please keep Reina strong and restore her body. Bring her blood cell counts back to normal, and her platelets too. Reduce the inflammation in her liver, and help her fight any infections that we still have not found. Please let the medications bring her into remission, and with minimal side effects. Please protect her body from permanent harm. You brought her into my life, please allow me to love and care for her for many more years to come. Thank you.

Update on Reina: The vet says it is not cancer! And most likely, it is lupus. We are starting on steroids. And doing more blood tests in two weeks ($350) to check how it is working. There is risk for diabetes with the steroids, as well as other side effects. I am hoping it will be minimal and that she will be in remission quickly so we can take her off these medications.

 

June 28, 2013

Have a Beautiful Day …

Posted by kkhymn under Blythe Love, Doll Collection, Living with Chronic Illness, Random Thoughts, The Cat's Meow | Tags: , , , |
1 Comment 
A Beautiful Day

A Beautiful Day

Well, I have been struggling along still. Minimizing my medical stuff until I can figure out all the Medicare coverage, which still needs sorting out. Worse case scenario, I have no coverage for the last four months of the year. Not having physical therapy appointments is killing my mojo to get anything done – crafts, knitting, running errands, and just going out is a challenge. But, I am trying to stay positive and believe things will get better eventually. Each day is unpredictable.

Reina kitty has her own share of medical stuff. A few weeks ago, she started squinting her right eye. It seemed like she was blinking at first. But, then it completely shut. I took her to the vet to find out she had a corneal ulcer! If it did not heal properly, she could lose her vision in that eye. Yikes! We did her eye drops faithfully, and four days later, she was all healed. But, it did not stop there.  A week and a half after her first corneal ulcer, she had another one in the same eye! The vet suggested we take her to a vet ophthalmologist, cause something more serious could be going on my sweet girl’s big eyes. I did not even know that existed. A kitty eye specialist?  We took her to the vet ophthalmologist and now Reina most likely has feline herpes virus. It lays dormant in cats who have been exposed to the virus, and then flares up in times of stress.

My first thought was “Oh no. My sweet kitty has a chronic condition like her mum.” It makes me sad to think my sweet Reina is stressed out in some way. The condition is treatable with more eye drops. We have to follow up with the specialist in three weeks to see if it has healed completely. And, then hope that she doesn’t have another corneal ulcer any time soon. If she does, more tests to figure out what else may be going on. I need my sweet Reina to be better, for good. Her sweet big eyes don’t need this. I have enough chronic crap for the entire household. Please send her some kitty mojo, love and prayers. And, of course, any prayers for financial miracles to recover for the vet bills would be appreciated.

I am trying to stay positive despite it all. And my dolly collection continues to change, with some dolls going to new homes and other new girls coming in. I have fallen in love with Pullip dolls. They are big eyed dolls, like Bythes. But Pullips have more articulation in their bodies, allowing for great posable photos. You can also easily change their looks with different wigs. What a difference new hair makes! They have little sisters called Dals and Byuls. I have managed to get a couple of Dals in my collection too. There are several US sellers for Pullips, Dals and Byuls. It makes it so much easier to get that dolly mail. Several US sellers are even on Amazon, with dolls on Amazon Prime! Perfect for the impatient collector. LOL.

I was reminded of a wonderful music artist named India Arie this week. She was on Good Morning America promoting her new album. I started thinking of how wonderful her songs are – speaking love, truth and strength in her lyrics. One of my favorites is titled “A Beautiful Day” and it is what I wish for everyone, no matter what their struggles are. May you have more good days than bad, and things to be grateful for each day. I know it is not easy to be grateful or positive in the midst of endless crap. But, it helps me live in the now and make it to the next day, hour, minute.

I also know my friends want to pray and wish for a miracle for me. Something that would fix and cure me from the lupus, fibromyalgia, back and butt pain, and everything on my medical list. But, for whatever reason, this is what has been given to me. I don’t look for the cures and hope for the miracle healings anymore. I look and find the smaller things of every day life to celebrate and be grateful for. And celebrate the mini miracles. It is the way I can find my beautiful days in the midst of my daily battles.

Let this song sing in your day today. Let it run through your head, and speak to your heart. Don’t worry about fixing me. Don’t feel sorry for me. Celebrate you. Your life. And have a beautiful day.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

October 6, 2011

Reina is the Centerpiece

Posted by kkhymn under The Cat's Meow | Tags: , , |
[2] Comments 

So this morning I got up to go to the kitchen, and look who I saw? My little Reina deciding to be part of the centerpiece. Wait, she is the queen, so she really was saying that she is the centerpiece, not these pots and flowers!  LOL.

I barely got this photo of her before she realized I was watching and jumped off the table. Both cats know they are not supposed to be on the table. But, I could not scold her this time. She just was too adorable to scold.

Reina is the Centerpiece

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

September 21, 2011

Jedi Kittens Strike Back!

Posted by kkhymn under The Cat's Meow | Tags: , , |
1 Comment 

Star Wars and Kitty Lovers Unite with this fantastic video! I still love the Star Wars movies, and my kitty Reina does remind me of the adorable Ewoks.  I remember in college, there was this friend who could imitate Yoda’s voice perfectly. All of us had him record our outgoing message on our answering machines.  As a little girl, everyone wanted to be Princess Leia.  She was a princess who kicked ass, battling all the Storm Troopers with the best of them.

Hmmm … Maybe a Star Wars inspired monster is in my future…

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

 

December 18, 2010

Reina Kisses …

Posted by kkhymn under The Cat's Meow | Tags: , , |
[3] Comments 

Took a video of Reina today. Reina’s eyes are so mesmerizing. She still loves to kiss me with them and her pink tongue too. Her eyes just call out to you to ask for some more love and hugs! This video is dedicated to Benny, a little baby boy who apparently watches Reina on the computer and smiles, laughs and reaches out with Benny hugs!

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

December 9, 2010

Today I Said Goodbye …

Posted by kkhymn under Random Thoughts, The Cat's Meow
[2] Comments 

Today I said goodbye to three of our cats – Gabriel, Linda and Misty.  I was trying to hold on to them as long as possible, but it was getting harder each day whenever they wanted to cuddle up with me, sit in my lap or have meow-ful conversations. And, I don’t know if I could have done it if I waited too close to the Christmas holiday.

So, today I took them to the local shelter. I was fine until the front receptionist looked up at me and asked, “How can I help you?”. Then my eyes welled up with tears and I whispered back, “I need to give you my 3 cats; they are in the car and I need help bringing them in.” Then the tears began to fall as they gave me all the paperwork I needed to fill out on each cat. The shelter gave me a few minutes to say goodbye to them while they glanced at me through their caged carriers. I could not stop crying.

I had to go to the doctor this afternoon so I forced myself to not stay home and cry all day in bed. But, I am so sad right now. I hope they forgive me. I hope I can forgive myself. I know we are doing the best thing for Tony and me right now but the tears keep falling.

Please pray that they will somehow have a Christmas miracle and find new homes soon.  Even though Reyna is with me still and Yoshi will be too, I am just so sad. And, I can’t afford to be sad right now; too many things to do before this move is done.  And, my emotions can not get the best of me when my body already has its own problems.

© https://kkhymn.wordpress.com

 

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