N*ked On the Roof…

Being socially reclusive, most of the Christmas party invitations I receive  are declined.  It is hard to distinguish between sincere invitations and the ones that are sent to mebecause of the position I hold in my company.

On Monday, I accepted an invitation.   The owner is a very hard worker and performs he has a company of about twelve people and can (and does) out work any of them any day of the week. The owner has a similar family situation to me and we are both the same age…37.

I arrived at his office in a not-so-good part of town about a half hour after the gathering started.   It was going to be a very informal gathering in the back of his warehouse that they used for storage and their restoration work.

After being let in through the locked door and made it to the back of the building, I quickly noticed four people gathered around a 10′ table bouncing ping-pong balls into plastic cups.    Bill came and greeted me and reached into the dented refrigerator to get me a cold Bud Light.

As I sat down on a stool next to the table I watched as these guys who I knew from many of my projects and inspecting their work, as they explained the rules of BEER PONG to both myself and Bill.

The rules are simple.   Throw a ball into your opponents cup and they have to drink one of the six half full cups of beer, bounce the ball into the cup and they have to drink two of the cups.    Bouncing is worth more because once the ball hits the table the defender is allowed to block the it from going into the cup.  Each side takes turns and the losing team has to drink all of the remaining beers of the winning team.   A normal game last about 10- 15  rounds before it ends.

This was not a game that I desired to be an active participant in during this party…or any other time.    I am an amateur in the alcohol consumption department.

The Owner and I sat next to each other on a couple of stools next to the table and laughed at the “kids” and their game.   He told them that this had to be much easier than bouncing a quarter into a shot glass.  I joined the banter.

The owner and I didn’t stop.

After finishing my beer, I walked to the trash can and to the bathroom.   As I walked to the refrigerator for a cold one and to my stool I noticed that the owner was standing on one end of the table.

“Don’t sit down…our turn,” he said.

Being the outsider there and being in the building with the owner, I didn’t think it would be respectful to leave him up there “hanging”.  I took off my jacket and joined him at the table.

I talked to him and let him know that this had to be like throwing darts…once I hit the triangle of cups once, it should be pretty easy.   We also decided that we weren’t going to do any bouncing and risk them blocking anything, needing every shot we could get to keep from having to eat our words…and drink a lot of beer.

We quickly dispatched the winners form the table since they spent more time talking trash and less time concentrating on the balls and the cup.   The two of us decided that we would rather be quiet and win to get out of here without consuming a lot of alcohol.

After we dispatched four more groups while only drinking about 20 oz. of beer a piece, there were some winks and smiles as a very confident duo came to the table.    We were informed that this was the end of the run because these two were the best.     We said nothing, but let them throw first.

Their first ball went in the cup…that was mine to drink.   Roars came from the group as I downed mine quickly.

Their second ball went into the cup…this one was for the owner.  High fives rolled around the room as he drank his and rinsed off the ball and let it fly toward their cups.

SPLASH!

“That’s just one…you are still behind!” shouted someone from the crowd.  We had four cups left and they still had five.

Someone made a joke about my level of geekness that must have been funny since the decibel of the laughter rose to a new level.    No one was really watching me, so, despite the agreement we made about not trying bouncing one in,  I chucked my ball on the table and it happened to land in the cup.   We were now up by a cup.

But it was their turn and both of their balls rimmed out.   “It is just a matter of time…”

(More whooping, taunting and yelling)

The owner called for a re-rack, which is allowed once per game.  He called for the three remaining cups to be lined up front to back.    They all laughed at him as he let his ping-pong ball fly…

SPLASH!  

Right in the front cup!

One of our opponents yelled, “LUCKY *SS  B*STARDS!”

The owner replied, “This isn’t luck…this is all skill and concentration.  You guys are jumping around and yelling we are just throwing balls in a cup.   It isn’t like the cup is moving.”

“Your luck is over,” exclaimed Jesse, one of the guys we sent from the table earlier in the evening.

“Look,” He said, “(MTAE) is going to throw this one in the cup.  IF he doesn’t put it in this time, I’ll drink one of ours.”

“Bet!”

Our two opponents stepped away from the table and stretched their arms out beside them about two feet from the table and their last two cups.

Instead of lofting it in the air…

BOUNCE…SPLASH!

Right in the cup.   Game over!

The owner reached behind us, grabbed our bottles of Bud Lights and walked to the stool.   We were done.

He showed them that you don’t beat the boss without working harder and smarter than he does and that throwing, or in this case bouncing,  a ping-pong ball in a cup was indeed easier than bouncing a quarter in a shot glass.  It took a little Internet research to figure out that these “kids” didn’t make up this game…it is quite popular.

I was able to be one of the boys for an afternoon…even if I was the geekiest one of the group.

In the nest two weeks, I will be required to attend many parties that are much more extravagant and better catered, but I guarantee none of them will be as fun as this one.