N*ked On the Roof…

Life would be easy if the issues that come up would just line up and allow us the opportunity to address them one at a time, but that doesn’t happen.   We are forced to stand in the batter’s box and face Nolan Ryan fastballs and Frank Tanana curve balls all at the same time.  Time is going to be a tough thing for me to get my hands on for the next couple of months…but I’ll find my way through.

Being serious all of the time isn’t always the best solution…as I try to “fix” something standing in the right handed batter’s box…I am going to try to keep “funny” on the left side of the plate.

Here are five thoughts for today…

1. Baptist pastor Eddie Long is defending himself against accusations of inappropriate relations with young boys in the church youth group. Preparing a criminal defense is the easy part of this situation for him…

it’s the patent suit he’s going have trouble with…

the Catholic patented this in 1954.

2. If pastor Eddie Long didn’t want to raise questions about his relations with boys in his baptist youth group, maybe he shouldn’t have named the group the “Longfellows.” I am not making up the name…trust me.

3. Jersey Shore star Snooki tells People Magazine that, earlier in her life, she “almost died” twice. “Almost,” for her, is like her “almost” passing her GED, but “dying” has nothing to do with needing to get her stomach pumped after a bottle of Tequila.

4. The pending departures of Rahm Emanuel, Robert Gates, Larry Summers and David Axelrod from President Obama’s staff are beginning to look more like lift rafts departing the Titantic.

Wait!

This is America and we should use analogies American’s can understand.

How about Simon Cowell departing American Idol?

5. After posting $300,000 bail, Lindsay Lohan is back out of County Lock-up.

She goes in and out of jail like Snoop Dogg goes in and out of a California Pot Store.

Feel free to add your own here…

I have already had  a couple of suggestions from a couple of people on another social network…

…in and out faster than Oprah at a Krispy Kreme.

…in and out of jail faster than men go in and out of Lindsay Lohan.

…in and out faster than Snookie’s lunch