ursula andress – Pop Culture Thoughts

For a movie with so much money behind it, so much potential, and so much onscreen class, you’d think it’d be a lot more fun than this. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t exactly a cure for insomnia or anything: The special effects are charming as all hell, the sets are terrifically ornate and deliriously over-the-top, and there are the likes of *the* Maggie Smith as Thesis, walking around being a big bitch to everyone like nothing could be more artistically satisfying. But after a strong start that includes the kind of cheesy special effects, fantastical action and a distinct, striking original score that suggest a rollicking fantasy fare like a live action “The Last Unicorn” or “The Black Cauldron,” things seem to pipe down for a while. The next hour that follows is ok, with some adventures here and there that are fine but overall it’s a bit boring, until we reach the final stretch, where the movie finally comes alive again. The climactic fight against the Kraken is pretty cool, but it’s got nothing on the battle against Medusa, which is the stuff of nightmares: A stop-motion, snake-like Medusa stalks our heroes inside her darky lit lair with the vociferousness of a wounded animal, and it’s impressively (and legitimately) scary. So overall, the movie is just fine and it has its moments for sure, I just wish it was as entertaining as it could have been.

Rating: ★★★ (out of 5)

A few years back, my husband conned me into watching all the Marvel movies in chronological order despite my rather thorough lack of interest, and much to my surprise I ended up enjoying a number of them more than I anticipated. So, given that he’s a big James Bond fan we decided to give this franchise a shot (given my rather equal lack of interest in either 007 or Marvel), and while this isn’t exactly bad or anything, it’s not exactly good either? To me, it’s one of those movies that’s just sorta ‘there,” I looked at it for all 110 minutes and yet retained very little of it… other than the fact that, according to this movie, Jamaica is largely made up of pasty white British people at all levels of business and government other than the custodial or hospitality industries. I guess Sean Connery is fine as Bond, I’m not a big fan of his given his propensity for not only beating women but also defending beating women to a female interviewer during a primetime broadcast so I always get a bad taste in my brain whenever he’s on screen, but if you can remove the baggage I guess he’s fine? The same can’t exactly be said about Ursula Andress, who looks good in a bikini and that’s about it: I guess you could charitably describe what she does here as a “performance” but mostly it’s just pouting and posing. I dunno, it’s all just so lightweight and kinda dorky but it’s not objectionable either, other than maybe its egregious running time. So, I’ll give it a 3 because I don’t really have a strong opinion about it but I also didn’t exactly mind it. It’s just a movie I watched one time, you know?

Rating: ★★★ (out of 5)