When I got up this morning, I felt awful. I got out and out the door and went a long way. It was hot. I couldn’t take it. I took a different route just to see where it took me. I was 12 minutes late. I looked at the room and the door entered at the front, and everyone would see me walk in. I was uncomfortable. I sat in the lobby 10 minutes playing with my phone. And left.

I went back to Skytrain and went home. I laid down. I was still awful. But not so hot. The heat of the outdoors had not reached inside yet. I’d left only one window open. I thought that was smart. I ate the flat of strawberries I got Thursday throwing out 4 or 5 that did not look the same. I’d eaten the other flat the last two days. Two flats for $20: I thought that a bargain but was wondering if I would get through them.

I walked past the building above on Thursday. It wasn’t so hot and I felt good. I don’t feel the same any more. I am 68 and will be 69 on July 3 next week (2017). Canada Day July 1 is on Saturday but will be observed on the Monday July 3 conveniently my birthday. My birthday is a holiday this year, not especially for me. In 1608 on July 3 Quebec City was founded by Samuel de Champlain of France, exactly 340 years before I was born. Now isn’t that exciting. I had to find something special about my birthday when I was young and growing up and this was the special day I found. I learned more recently that Prince Charles of England was born in November 1948, so I am a few months older than him. I am glad they did not get the babies mixed up. I would not want to be in Prince Charles’ position. I would not want to be Prince Charles. He has all the money in the world and privilege to boot but it must be boring.

I have done many things in my life. A lot of people like to travel. Not for me. I lived in Toronto for 23 months but otherwise have lived in British Columbia: in a small town called Chemainus (my first memories) until Grade 3. And then in Metro Vancouver for the balance. When my parents first married, they lived in a basement suite in the upper reaches of North Vancouver. When Mom’s parents moved to Duncan, they let Mom and Dad live in the vacated house in Vancouver. I spent the first year of my life there.

Now I am an old man not so old but fading it seems because I am getting tired of my little ills that seem to be increasing and I hate it. I have been fine up until almost a year ago. Now I am getting very tired of all the little ills that are popping up. The doctor says they are normal. Thanks a lot. I try to eat perfect diet, get lots of exercise, and get out and see people. I often feel people don’t like me much. I have never been good socially. It was only in 2003 that I realized that it was fear that was stifling my ability to learn how to socialize a all. When I was 55. People had been saying to me around that time it was best to take risks socially. And when I started doing that, I figured out the fear part. I think I have autism. I am very smart and functional.

I have no specialty or special interest. I have many. You have to be an expert at one thing to do a job. And I have never been able to decide on one. I think they are either too easy thus boring, or too hard and I can’t do it. You have to start somewhere. Maybe that is the lesson I just learned now. Instead of pandering my little body day in day out, I should pick something and start at the beginning. What am I good at?