Simplify

28 Feb 2008 Leave a comment

by socompletely in Lessons, Unfinished

I have been thinking a lot the past few months about the word simplify.

I want to simplify my life. But what does that really mean? Sure, there are lots of physical things cluttering up my apartment that I could live without. And I really don’t need all square footage I have in my apartment. Downsizing physically is very possible for me. Yet, I find comfort in being surrounded by my things. Yes, I realize that as a Christian the only comfort I need comes from God. There is still that human side of me that wants the comfort of my belongings. I am not what most would call materialistic. I just like the comfort of the known.

The part that really keeps gnawing at me is the thought that there must be some way for me to simplify my life in the area of my emotions. I over-analyze everything, all the time. I take everything personally, even though I have become quite adept at acting like I take nothing personal. I stress way too much, although I have gotten better in this area over the past five years. I worry. I doubt. I do a million things like this that I should not do. Some are even sinful, like the worrying.

I feel like there should be a connection to my emotional state and the idea of simplifying. Yet, I cannot complete the connection. The cord is just that much too short. Close enough to know that it should work; short enough to cause frustration over not being able to make the connection.

I have no way to neatly tie this up. It is still a work in progress. I pray that the Lord reveals to me soon the ways in which He wants me to simplify my life.

Check It Out!

25 Feb 2008 Leave a comment

by socompletely in Check It Out!

If you couldn’t tell, I am trying to revitalize this place. Mainly that translates into posting more often. Since most of you don’t want to read about my daily happenings because all dozen of you hear about that away from here, I am trying to find other stuff to share with you. In that vein, I am going to try to start a semi-regular feature called “Check It Out!”

I will cover a variety of things in Check It Out! It may be some random tip or trivia I’ve picked up along the way, a website or blog that is especially worth the time, a book I am reading or have read that I think is exceptionally good, or an artist of some kind (music, painting, etc.) that deserves some extra support. Suggestions for a future Check It Out!? Leave me a comment or send me an email.

I discovered this website some time ago and after a few trials, have found it to be very legit. (I have to admit I was skeptical at first.)

If you like relatively free stuff, and wear jewery, you should check out Silver Jewelry Club. You have to pay $5.99 for the shipping, but the actual jewelry costs you nothing. It can be limited; if they are offering a ring, it may only be in a size 5. On the plus side, they change their offerings every 10-15 minutes and you can see what kind of stuff they will be offering at some point in the future.

I have ordered a few a things for myself off this sight and have been pleased with every item. One pair of earrings have become a favorite. I have even ordered some items as gifts and they have all been received with wonderful comments. And so far nobody has had any negative side effects like their skin turning green.

Check it out!

Complaints

21 Feb 2008 Leave a comment

by socompletely in Inspiration, Lessons

I have mentioned and alluded to the fact lately that God is doing some work in me. One of those sweetly painful times where it hurts but you know that in the end it will be a great thing.

One of the things God and I are working on is how much I complain. Janna has a great post on how when we complain, we are complaining against God. Go check it out!

Protected: Humility

20 Feb 2008 Enter your password to view comments.

by socompletely in Lessons

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Revisiting A Post

19 Feb 2008 Leave a comment

by socompletely in Lessons

Many times in the past few days I have been reminded of this post I wrote almost two years ago when I first moved to North Carolina.

Sometimes the hardest lessons to learn are those we thought we had already mastered.

No Title

17 Feb 2008 Leave a comment

by socompletely in Concerts, Inspiration, Lessons, Music

Three posts in a single week? You would think I’ve actually had some freetime recently! Actually, I have noticed that I have had more time to sleep and breathe this week. Not to say that it has been an easy week. In some ways it has been more challenging than any other week in the past few years. And if you know what all has happened in my life over the past couple of years, you know that is saying a lot!

Why has it been challenging? Well, for one, God has been doing some major work on me. I alluded to some of it about this time last week. In spite of the peacefulness I have experienced in knowing that God loves me too much to allow me to stay how I am, I have gained a better understanding this week of spiritual warfare. In that peace, I have felt Satan stealing away my joy. In my awe that God is faithful despite my stupid humanness, I have heard the evil one audibly reminding me of my past and the issues that come along with my past.

To top that all off, God has shaken up my “theological” world, which is good and bad. I have always been a firm believer that Christians need to be open-minded when it comes to how they interpret Scripture. Yes, there are some very clear black and white issues in the Word. But there are some things that can change in their meaning depending on what context you are using when you read. Those are the things we need to remain open-minded about. Yet, once again, I have discovered my own hypocrisy. While I want others to remain open-minded, I have not. I have decided somewhere along the road that, as far as my world goes, it was a clear cut thing that was not to be questioned or changed.

Last night we took a group of the kids to Greensboro for Winter Jam. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed the evening considering that none of the artists are ones for whom I would typically spend my money on their live performance. I couldn’t tell you the precise moment, but at some point during the evening, I was reminded of how blessed I really am. I know that I have a natural tendency to focus on the negative. It is one of my faults, among others. Then this morning I go to Mass and the second reading is from Paul’s second letter to Timothy. And while the one particular verse that struck me between the eyes was probably meant as more of an encouragement, it seemed to be a reminder to me of all the crap God is helping me to sort through.

“Bear your share of hardship for the gospel with the strength that comes from God” (2 Timothy 1:8).

Now most people would assume that that little sentence would be a good reminder–a reminder that every trial we go through exists for the purpose of bringing glory to God and that He will give us the strength to get through those hardships. In fact, that was a point made at Winter Jam by one of the speakers. Yet, for whatever reason, on this particular Sunday morning, it caused me to question God. To ask Him why. Why does it feel like I have had to bear more than my share of hardship? Why…

Is this even really my life? At times it all seems so surreal, like I’m living in somebody else’s body, in somebody else’s world. Or like I’m watching it all from outside myself like an out-of-body experience or something.

Can you tell my mind is all over the place? I think it’s time to go sit quietly for a few minutes and try to get some of these thoughts sorted…

I’m It

14 Feb 2008 Leave a comment

by socompletely in Books, Meme, Uncategorized

Traci tagged me some time ago for this meme.

1. Pick up the nearest book ( of at least 123 pages).
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the next three sentences.
5. Tag five people.

This passage comes from “Liberty Falling” by Nevada Barr.

“Anna muscled up the last yard and stepped away from the crumbling hole that once housed five stories of stairs. For a moment she stood tasting the peculiar brand of urban silence. Across the inlet, on Island I, was the mutter of thousands of voices, the growl of ferryboat motors.”

I’m not going to tag anybody simply because not many of the people I would tag blog regularly enough anymore, if at all, to do this.

And then it hits you…

10 Feb 2008 Leave a comment

by socompletely in Lessons

You are coasting along. Life is good and you are in the zone. You know that all is not perfect, but from your vantage point, it is not all that bad either. Then it hits you. One of those two-by-four’s to the head, smack between the eyes type of hit. And while it is painful, at times it can also be the most comforting and reassuring thing to happen to you in quite some time. 

I have been struggling lately. Well, not just lately. I have been struggling for quite some time. It has been an interesting seven months, and I use the term interesting with both a positive and negative connotation in mind. Not that there has been one major thing, it has just been a constant stream of little things. At times, that constant stream of little things is more of a problem than one big thing. And it is not just one area of my life, it seems to have been in all areas, although not all at once.

After all these months of struggling, things have finally come to a head. This is both good and bad, depending on what area we are talking about. I am excited, yet anxious. It is exciting to finally be at that place where I have a better idea of what has been going on and to know that changes are coming, big changes. I am anxious because in one particular area, the direction things go from here could be detrimental to many people because of the actions of a few. It is saddening to see how a large number of lives can be affected in such big ways because of the bad choices of a few.

 Yes, I know this is all very vague. Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to divulge all the details. And those that I can divulge are far too personal for me to share on a public forum.

Lord, thank you for speaking to me at the perfect moment and through the perfect circumstances. I can now see that I was put in that particular place for a variety of reasons and while those reason are none of what I would have hoped or expected, I am thankful anyway. I often need the reminder that you are faithful and I hate that. But I love that you do not give up on me and continue to reassure me of your faithfulness and love. Help me to rely on you alone during the coming times of change. Help me to remember the message you have spoken to me recently, the vessels you used to speak those messages, and the relief that accompanied even the hardest to hear messages.