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For some, the “whatever it takes” drive focuses on leading the organisation and accomplishing goals; for others, it is a drive to help someone regardless of the costs. While personal sacrifice (Luke 18:28–30) and dedication (Matt. 6:24) are admirable traits, they can become destructive to self, family, and ministry if not seen in context with healthy boundaries and human limitations.

28 And Peter said, Behold, we have left all, and followed thee.

29 And he said to them, Truly I say to you, That there is none who has left home, or parents, or brethren, or wife, or children, for sake of the kingdom of God,

30 Who should not receive many fold in this time, and in life coming, eternal life. (Luke 18:28–30)

24 None can serve two lords: for either he will hate one and love the other; or hold firmly to one and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. (Matt. 6:24)

William Carey is famous for his “whatever it takes” attitude in his mission venture to India, so much so that he is widely accepted as the father of the modern mission movement. However, he is infamous in his neglect of his family..*

In the early days, Bill Hybels built Willow Creek Community Church with a “whatever it takes” attitude. One night his wife begged him to stay home and share a meal with her. He responded,

“Kids are dying and going to hell and you want me to stay home and hold your hand?”

 The only reason anyone knows this story is that Bill and Lynn Hybels courageously shared their mistake in their early ministry so their readers would not repeat them. Hybels is not the only well-known leader who made poor priority choices in the early days of ministry.

Billy Graham has a similar story to tell about when Ruth asked him to stay home with her because she was having labour pains. She asked him to cancel his speaking engagement at a meeting in Alabama. Graham refused. That evening Ruth delivered their daughter Gigi.

In 1949, at the famous Los Angeles crusade, Ruth’s sister and brother-in-law came to the meeting. While they were together, Billy admired a child they were holding.

“Whose baby is this?”

Graham asked.**

It was Anne, his daughter. In his later years, Graham, said that if he could do it over again, he would have devoted more of his time to his family.

This is not just an issue with famous ministers. Pastor Dan is not famous at all. In fact, he is a rural pastor who looks after two small rural churches simultaneously. His daughter’s third grade teacher insisted that he accompany his wife for the annual parent teacher conference. At the conference, the teacher showed Dan a picture that his daughter drew of his family.

Dan looked at the picture and asked,

“Where am I?”

“That’s why I called you down here today,”

the teacher responded.

“I asked your daughter the same question. She said you’re never home, so she left you out of the picture.”

Dan was doing “whatever it takes” to take care of two flocks, and in the process was missing precious years of his daughter’s life that he could never replace. Pastors can delegate some things, but not all things.

In an interview with Dennis Rainey and Bob Lepine on “FamilyLife Today,” Pastor Ben Freudenburg said,

“We have become ministers because we have this great passion to care for and love people to Christ. We’ll do whatever it takes, and sometimes we get misguided and put so much energy into the work of the church that we don’t realise what we are doing to our own families and to our own lives …

Pastoral Ministry in the Real World: Loving, Teaching, and Leading God’s People, © 2015 by Jim L. Wilson

*

The Brothers in Christ are convinced that we have the mission to proclaim the Good News. But that should never happen through neglect of the people around us. The family cannot be neglected at all or left behind to perform missionary duties in other remote regions.

**

For us, such facts are unfortunate events that we hear much more often about evangelical preachers. It is actually outrageous for B. Graham who asked who the girl was that he did not recognise his own child.

As followers of Jesus Christ, we must show the same love as Christ and not neglect our loved ones.