ADILAH

The Past contains our life, it is really our lives stories. The past is all we’ve done, its all we can remember, its also what some of us base today on. I’ve looked at my past and I’m glad I’ve forgotten most of my childhood. But, there are times that I long to have back. There are some years that were altogether perfect, that if I could go back I would live everything exactly the same. Some of us miss the past and would trade anything to have some of those moments back. All the memories we have in our mind, are the past. We could have gotten where we are without the past being present then. But some of us base our lives on the past. We want the past back so much that we do everything we can to get it. We try to “live” in the past.

But we all know that everything has already been decided. It was known/written long ago what each person would be! So I concluded that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to enjoy themselves as long as they can. To enjoy your work and accept your lot in life. So I recommend having fun, because there is nothing better for people to do in this world than to eat, drink, and enjoy life. That way they will experience some happiness along with all the hard work.

I’ve been living in the past a lot lately, wishing that I still had the friendship I used to have. But I think its time I stop wishing and start enjoying what God has given to me now and take that first step out into the future. Its almost like a new start, only everyday will be a new start now. And that in itself is something to look forward to.

So so far my days has definitely been like way totally interesting! Life’s been treating me well. God’s still blessing me in many ways.

Today’s just my rest day – no work. Its a happy day cos I shopped with my dad like finally! I’m going to miss today. I’ve been looking forward to this moment. It was the first time (I think) after so long I went shopping with the parentals +  favourite grandmother. There’s a lot of sales and the items prices are all super attractive! Skirts selling at 20 bucks, tops at 30 bucks & below and dresses at 40 bucks. But everywhere is superrrr crowded and its reallly chaotic, plus theres forever hundreds of people in the queue to the fitting room.

But anyway, family time is never time wasted or time spent! I did buy a few things today, on impulse! You know what, cancel all the shopping dates with friends because shopping with the parentals (specifically fathers) are very more fulfilling:D Hahaha kidding.

Tomorrow is the 31st. I wish I could stay home and countdown with family and Dionne! I’ve regretted something. For not joining in the christmas exchanging drawing lots session with the work staffs last Tuesday.

But that was my entry for today. There’s work tomorrow, goodnight lovers.

Hi! Well, hopefully you got to read the last entry because here’s another one for you! Well everything has been fine. I am getting all the skills that I need for the job that I’m doing. Umm as for this week, they only scheduled me for Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Saturday for work. We are working shifts so it wont be so tiring. So yeah, I am super excited for Friday because I am going for a retail therapy with babe!

Now I must go to bed because I have to get up early for work tomorrow. It’s going to be a long day. Bye!

Every time I go into my blogspot, I’m reminded of last year and the O level days. Blogspot was one of the things that identified what O level was about, idol days, life in secondary school (sec 3 and 4 that is). 

Last night after work, I stepped into Esplanade. I went up to the highest level for the first time in a couple months but the library was closed. So I just stared up at the sky into the clouds, the rooftop, it all brought back something so simple. All these stresses left, all the worries when you think about the past you tend to glorify it, thinking, “i miss those days so much”. When they actually might not have been that great, its either that or everything just keeps screwing more. I’m so pesismistic so thats probably where that negativity is coming from.

Well if theres anyone out there that even reads my blogspot anymore, do tell me. Its been too long I miss you guys. Talk to you later!

I’m really tired. I don’t think I’ve been this tired in quite a looong time. I’ve been going straight home after work since the day I started

Soo, having slept at 3am due to teaching a certain someone, & waking up at 12pm the next day – you can conclude just what a zombie I was at work. I swear, I was like struggling with my feet hurts really bad and the funniest part was, I was so tired that I accidentally served a knife and a fork to a customer who was supposed to use a chopstick for his laksa! Ha ha ha Joanne and Nadhirah started roaring with laughter when that happened.

That workplace of mine was a madhouse for the past few nights! It’s bad enough that the restaurant’s been very cramped since now is the christmas season, fullhouse just gave everyone a reason to crash into each other and send things falling to the floor. (For the record, I worked till closing yesterday teehee.)

So since today I’m free and feel like writing, I’ll talk a little bit more about work.

I think people should take into consideration a certain level of courtesy to the servers. I mean, really, so what if you pay service charge? At least have some decency to be nice and polite to those who actually go the extra mile to give you a pleasant dining experience. It’s called service charge for a reason, not I-Pay-To-Be-Rude charges, or anything nonsensical like that. You pay for me to give you good service, but please, being rude is seriously unnecessary.

On the other hand, there are also very nice customers who take us into consideration, e.g there is this two ladies who are somewhat regular customers there! She came to eat, and everytime that very nice ladies will take their time to ask me, “how are you doing?” Haha. And we will always exchange smiles whenever I passed by their table.

There are also a bunch of people who bother to take the time to ask, “are you still schooling?” or “oh, you work here part time?” or something like that. I mean, they may seem like such simple questions but trust me, when you’re working, it’s really nice and refreshing to have the customers take interest in your life for once, instead of you fussing over theirs, and their growling tummies.

I love my job. Other than the tiring nature of the job, I love the company of my colleagues. From the strict manager, to the forever-chill-Bob, the funny Nadhirah, the Mummy Doris, the kitchen crew, and my very friendly staff who loves to layan us, working has been rather fun. My father say it would be a good oppurtunity for me to feel how hard it is to earn money. It’s not so much for the money, really, because my parents give me an abundance of allowance. Its just the experience.

..sounds good to you? Sounds better to me. So if you think your life is screwing or you’re spending your free time doing worthless things like following Taufik Batisah or infact Hardy Mirza wherever he goes (hahahaha), you may want to consider getting yourself a job!

Hello dear friends. First things first, I declare Hady Mirza really lucky! But that’s always good eventhough earlier I would want the Indian Idol to win the Asian Idol. And the judge from India was funny last night. Something along the line he said if it is an upset result, then it’ll be either Hady or Phuong Vy, hahaha. But I am happy. I really am. Then again even if I wasn’t, I wouldn’t know what’s wrong. Haha.

So my life is basically like that of a normal teen (kinda). Okay, but got some good things going on right now!

I’m applying for my first job.

I had a  job interview a few days ago. So I’m hired, but I don’t know what the details are exactly. However, I know I have to familiarise myself with the working place with the buddy system. If fail, then Nadhirah and I are off to Healthwise to work! Hahahaha. But we won’t.

So I have all my budget plans and I can’t wait to start! I think I’m going to be very financially set if I keep on keeping on. Well it all begins tomorrow so more to come. But how scary! Haha it actually is. I’m not really good at preparing nor serving food. Especially if its cakes! This is gonna be tough for me. But I can do it, I hope. I will just pray I will like the job. Not that I REALLY want this, but I’m fine if parents approve of it.

In the afternoon, I read Quran and it makes me more determined. But, as all things in the Quran, I will apply it to my own life as well. I miss alot of people like alot alot and I can’t wait to spend time with them. But anyway, tomorrow, tomorrow. 😀

I suppose one of the most difficult things anyone at the age of 16 goes through is the fact that we are still very much young, and still very much to have a life to live. There are the days where we feel like we want to be seven again, without the care of the world, besides that report book that our mother of course will help us with later. 

Then there are the days where we were much older, wiser and twice our age, wishing that we had it all. Wishing that we had the marriage, the two and a half kids, and the two and a quarter cars in the house. 

I suppose when it comes down to it all, life is dull, and lively at times, but never predictable. I think this is why I sometimes miss primary school, because the days were so structured. You knew what to do and when, how to do it because someone told you, and why to do it because it was written there on the instruction sheet. Fast forward six to seven years, and you do the doing, talk the conversations, eat whatever you want and ultimately find the love that you want, all on your own time.

Forever Young? Hardly. Growing Old? Maybe. But staying here at where I’m at right now, that’s just confusing. Even more confusing than this job haunting I’ve been doing! Haha. But it’s all part of growing up, and part of the trip. Map please?

If life isnt about giving up, I don’t know what is it about. Haha. I mean so many things if not everything I’ve tried. And somehow with all those options out there, I’m not even good enough for any of them. Its all just wasted effort to me. Okay no, I know I shouldnt say that. But really, how many places can you really apply at 16?

Not many.

Yep well hey everybody! I love when it is raning at night. With a gentle breeze and wtih the smell of fresh in the air. I dont really know how to describe the smell but its just like a good smell. Better that any girls perfume or anything. Its just like the smell of new. My sister and I really love it. I smelt it for the past few days. Haha. It made me happy, and I’ve found new things. I’ve found life. Take what i get, make the best of it and never be pessimistic. So my advice, just go outside and sit and smell the air. It definitely makes everything better.

That’s all I have to say. Okay well not really. But yeah, apparently I’m sick. My dad, mum and I are down with flu. It’s so annoying! But was I happy? Well kind of, but not really! I was so insanely bored like ALL day!

You’re my friend you know, the kind where at the end of the day I love to come home and talk to you on the phone. 😀

So we are about half way through December…

Today was rather interesting. Or should I say an eye-opening yet scary & shocking experience? Can’t be bothered to go into the specifics so go figure. Job haunting in the morning and shopping in the afternoon. So that basically makes up my Monday.

And its raining! Again! I hate rainy days. But don’t get me wrong, I love it when it rains provided that it’s AT NIGHT! But not at like 1-2-3 in the afternoon.

I think I have to go on a diet. Okay maybe I shouldn’t resort to such a drastic measure to remain fit & healthy & stuff but yea, God knows how much I’ve been eating and eating and eating and binging. I really eat a whole lot these days you wouldn’t believe it!

But on a lighter note, I think my mum is bringing me to Batam again any of these days! I still can’t get enough of the massage and shopping there. And I’m gonna get my mum to get me a new pair of leopard shoe, somehow…

But travelling with friends is still my fun (:

I’m ma ma material girl, living in a ma ma material world.

It’s amazing how we can be so blinded by our own sin. We’re all so focused on ourselves, and how things are working out for us that we totally forget about everyone else. I mean, how often is it that we do something for other people? How often do we step out of our cliques, from the people we’re used to talking to and are comfortable with, and reach out to someone else?

We need to realise that life isn’t all about making it the best you can for yourself. I mean, sure, we do random acts of kindness. But do we talk to new people or reach out every so often just to make ourselves feel good? And do we even genuinely care about the friends we do have? Can any single one of us say that we’re never jealous of our friends? Do we call them up every once in a while just to say that we were praying for them? Do we even pray for our friends?

It’s so hard to take that first step out there. It’s so easy to just continue being blinded to your sin and to be ignorant of the hurt you cause other people. It’s easy to always blame it on someone else. It’s always someone else’s fault. But in reality, we only have that thinking because we don’t want to realise that we truly are sinners, that we truly hurt other people, and that we truly have bad hearts. We’re all surrouned by hundreds of smiling faces, and yet we all feel alone at one point or another. Why? Maybe it’s because, despite the fact that we’re always around someone, everyone’s always trying to please themselves and they rarely show genuine care and concern for each other.

 P.S. I only kind of have that view, I mostly just want out of writing a long entry.

Missie, with love.