ADILAH

I have a problem that I’ve had for awhile but I only noticed it when people started bringing it up. My brother used to make fun of me because he say I can easily get pursuaded by sales people and that I would believe anything, but he make it seem like a joke. When I am with my friends, they notice it too and are honest with me. Rahmat say I’m gullible for everything. He thinks I am gullible because I do believe people easily, unless their answer’s really out there, then duh, of course they are kidding around with you. Ben and Farid thinks I’m gullible too. I get told I’m gullible all the time. I trust in what people say too much, I dont doubt people because I never have had to and dont do stuff like that to other people.

I also feel like I am easily brainwashed. When I decide about something, someone can easily come and tell me a lot of things and I would probably change my decision. I don’t know if its because I’m too nice, which Pita say, but it bothers me at times and its something I really want to work at and resolve, but I dont know how.

I am really gullible and naive sometimes, but it’s only because I want to believe people are really good at heart.

All these years I’ve never spent a proper Valentines with someone I really wanted to spend it with. But since when did you losers ever get to spend it properly with someone? Dreams are just dreams and wants are just wants.

But I had a good Valentine’s with my babes when we were in secondary school, exchanging gifts and hugs.

The very person you want to spend the most time with is the person you end up having the least tie with. You know, actually there’s no use mourning about how you’ve had the worst day of work or the worst day of your life and the worst build up to a day or a worst birthday or anything because typically such things only last for a day.

People have bad days and bad times but once your mind is clear, so is everything else. So when you have a bad day, sleep it off and everything’ll be fine. Until then.. Must Be Positive

Today I painstakingly dragged myself out of bed at 850 in the morning because my mum kept calling me to make sure I wouldn’t go back to sleep. I kept snoozing the alarm though. I think I am too used to that. Anyway, I managed to reach tp at 1030. 🙂 I rushed home after that to hang out with my homie Pita. Yes it was nice.

Tomorrow night my brother will be back from Bangkok. Some people have all the luck in the world to be able to go to such a place in which I’ve not stepped in before.  And then, there is the other end of the spectrum where people like me have 15 dollars to survive cny.

Then again, who says I’m looking forward to my brother but more like the stuff he’s bringing back!

Hahaha, kidding see you tomorrow.

So today was like one of the more fun random days I’ve had in so long. After school I got to meet up with Mai. I miss her sooooo much. Very happy I got to see her just now. (: Love you Mai.

This is extremely odd. It is only a quarter to 1 and my mother has already turned in.

You know I am actually grateful for this block’s timetable, but the only problem is that I couldnt find time to meet up with my babes on a weekday and I cant watch my 9pm drama because it clashes with school. Unless you count Saturdays and Sundays but then it’d be useless too cos I rarely have time for tv in the weekend. The only weekday that I can make it would be Monday from 4pm onwards but now that the final submission is getting nearer, Hajar and I have decided not to attend the night class tomorrow.

Speaking of, it’s been a while since I’ve watched a movie (in a cinema). Have been reading to pass time anyhow. Well maybe I shall read a book before sleeping later. My eyes feel a bit a-quiver, I shall rest them.

Oh by the way, my brother left for Bangkok, Thailand last Sunday. My brother said he will be there for about 1 week time. So meanwhile, it’s time for me to use the laptop anytime that I want! I can upload pictures or stuffs that I like without anyone asking me to go to sleep anymore. Usually, when he’s at home, he will need his room at night and I will be asked to leave the room so that he will get to sleep peacefully.

I cannot imagine class without the both of you. 😉

Every year I struggle with what to get my brother for his birthday. For most of our teenage lives, my siblings and I have exchanged birthday cards for our respective birthdays. Today my dear brother turned 19 but I couldn’t able to give him anything as a gift.

So just now, immediately after the night class I rushed out of school to find the nearest printing shop to print out the letter which I wrote for my brother. And you know it’s so funny, because when I was walking home all I wanted was to be alone. And when I got home it was empty because my whole family went out. Anyway I managed to meet up with Azreen. It was nice catching up with Az, talking about all the secondary school days. Thanks for taking the time, babe 😀 Usually last time I would say there were four of us. But now only left the two of us. Oh well.

Anyway, I’m done with my rambling. I should sleep, I’m pretty tired. I also need to finish all the work that I planned on doing tomorrow. Ok sleep first.

Have been talking to Hajar and Sue and realised how funny things are. It’s a funny thing how fate or mere coincidence works. Which one do you believe in? Do you believe that things happen because it was fated or because it was a coincidence?

Is it fate or just a coincidence that we sometimes come across the same things a few times in life. Althought they are not 100% the same, they are so similar. Lately I realise I don’t seem to get away from one word. This word has continue to appear in my life making me don’t know whether I should put it down to fate or its just simply another coincidence. 

Well, lets think about it. Imagine there are no coincidences. Not a single one. If you ever get talking to someone at a party, and find out that you both have the same birthday, then the two of you must have been brought together for a reason. It’s impossible for anyone to ever just stumble across any one of the millions of other people who were also being born around the same time that they were (or even on the same day on a different year), simply by chance. It could only happen when some underlying force makes it happen.

So I totally believe in fate. I believe everything happens for a reason.

So far, yet so far, I love my 2009.

I expect alot of being true to myself moments.

I love school and I love my friends in school.

At least I am handling things much better. 🙂

You see friendship to me I feel is something you cant live without and I’m undoubtably grateful to the people around me who have supported me and loved me in one way or another. I’m too thankful for the immense number of new friends I’ve made during the span of these 9 months and obviously not to mention Hailey Pit D and Nadh and to be honest here all of you guys that I have mentioned above are the seeds in my life. And of cos familyyy! 😀

How many people in the world are there that you would feel safe around. So safe, so secure, so comfortable.