ADILAH

Sometimes when you’re young, you think there is absolutely nothing that can hurt you. Your whole life is ahead of you, and you have big plans. You have goals that you want to achieve. Like to find your perfect match. The one that completes you. But as you get older, you realise it’s not always that easy. It’s not until at the lowest point of your life that you realise how the plans you made were simply plans and nothing more. Goals were merely goals. At the end, when you’re looking back instead of forward, you want to believe that you made the most of what life gave you. You want to believe that you’re leaving something good behind. You want it all to have mattered.

Does any of you remember about all the cool toys that was sold at the old sundry shop? Remember that styrofoam aeroplane that you need to esemble yourself? The one that can only fly very very far if you put the ‘red nose’ on it’s front. Remember the paper doll where you need to tear out their pretty dresses and fit onto them?

Remember the long plastic baton with a female hand at the end where it give this sound whenever you turn it upside down? Remember that SOLDIER TOY that come with its own parachute? You need to tie the paprachute and released it! HAHA.

So I happened to walk into this somewhat like a thrift store with Hya just now and found myself remembering a lot of things which I used to see or play with when I was young. I find the store really unique with the most extensive range of things of the past and pretty much of the present. So Hya and I decided to share this really cute zebra and lion paperclip just for memory sake I guess! Because friendship will ultimately be about remembering for all the sweet things. Haha. Love you babe.

The beginnings of my weekend are here. My body aches from the awful positions I’ve been sleeping in, and my eyes burn from my serious lack of sleep throughout the week. Yes this has been my life so far. I always think of sleeping early every night or even a quick nap after school but somehow, I did not manage to make plans. Also, I haven’t been able to recover fully from my cough. An occasional cough here and there. Regardless of that, I still am physically active.

I realised I had to shell out for cabs many times with Hya eversince last week. We had no choice frankly. If I’ve learnt anything in the last 4 weeks, it would be that your friends will always pull you through at the end of the day. I think in a few months time I will look back on the past week and say, wow that was alot of fun and that was a nice week.

Anyway now being the weekend means rest, but it also means there’s a lot of tuitions to catch up on. Still, I’m expecting for this weekend to be promising. I imagine everyone in Singapore is doing something thrilling. If you have no plans, and you’re reading this, make sure you make some! No one needs to be home on a Friday Night. We’re all sitting around deciding what we should do. I have a feeling that tonight however will go well for me since I’ll be meeting D later.

Oh and you know, I’ve fallen head over heels in love with oldies songs again. Music marks moments in your life. It brings back so many memories, so clear, you feel like everything you’ve loved, thought you hated, every moment you felt was special, or alone, the love you cried over, you just experienced again when you listened to a song.

Subuh is 4 hours away, driving is 9 hours aways and I’m so sleepy. I should stop right now because this is making me even more sleepy.

There is something I have not done in a while and perhaps that’s what keeps me weak.

I’ve only got ten minutes so this is probably going to be short. I’m supposed to be doing my work now for this module that I might just not do well for it but I felt like rambling and so, here I am. Life has been incredibly hectic and its been moving at a very, very fast speeds. But thankfully, I have Hya with me to give me the motivation to do work haha. It appears as if the more work I have, the more I’ll sleep.

I already miss all of you. Very very very much. Let’s please please please meet up soon again.

Isn’t it funny how even 30 minutes can drastically change your life forever. When we have all the time in the world, we don’t even bother treasuring it. And when that 30 minutes comes, you just wish you could turn back time. Today I find myself running around Sinagpore catching with time. Because I’m late for half an hour for my first tuition, I was late for the rest of my tuitions today.

I honestly felt like crap after I came home, but the presence of my mum did a lot to help. Why does life feels so bad so much at times. And why does it seem, nobody even care whether you live or die. Why is this world so cruel at times. Ah can’t wait for June 19th come already!