ADILAH

The time is now, 7:10 in the morning and I’m not asleep yet. I think my body’s about to collapse anytime. I just finished my subuh prayer like half an hour before and I have to be up for a 4 PM tuition. My priorities are all jumbled up. Sigh. This must be how everybody else does it. Work everyday. Try to give their best as much as possible. See as little of their friends as possible and watch calmly as their life slips away. Before you know it, you’re old, tired and dying alone. Maybe I’m being dramatic, but I really feel like a rat running the race, travelling from one place to another, travelling from Hougang to City Hall then to Changi and then to Lavender and back to Hougang.

Well I wanted to blog more, but unfortunately I have to sleep. Maybe later. Running a business – it can be very tedious when it gets busy.

This shall be my first post after my 4 month journey from fyp. However, sleep is not going to come easy this month either. I am not prepared for submission this coming Friday and there’s still so much to do for the upcoming design show. How I’ve been feeling these days doesn’t make my life any better. I’ve been doing a lot of hard thinking lately. All the what if(s) and what should(s).

The thing is, I’m still in a daze about what is going on around me, so perhaps I’ll use these five days for me to recuperate and get a sensing as to what is going on here and there and hopefully, everything will be ok by the end of it.:)

It’s going to be another hectic one month plus more to design show which I hope will be fun and wonderful and all the things I imagine it to be with the people I’m planning to invite. So that’s keeping me going.

So many karaoke sessions coming up to look forward to so let’s hope it will all be good 🙂

Sick… I hope I get well by tomorrow so I can kill 2 birds with 1 stone and 3 bears with 1 shot. Feeling really stuffed up now and you have no idea how tired am I. My head’s not feeling that great.

I need some sort of retreat!

How I wish I could go to Cebu now instead of June!!!

You ignored my call that one night because you decided to leave me for good.

And now I sit here feeling like shit because I can’t have you.

What did you expect. Dear God, give me strength.

Running a business is not an easy task to do and it is not either a very hard thing to do only if the necessary things are all set up well. In running a business there are a lot of things that should be consider. Just like what the saying said that “big things start from small beginnings”. A small business will eventually grow if the finance of its business will be able to manage well.

Everyday I feel more and more detached from my parents, my body’s truly an empty shell. What have I been putting myself through? I rush and run for tuitions, FYP, school, home and family. I put myself through hunger and desperation and all.

Things have not been stable or safe or secure yet and all that awaits me is the day that I am finally done with my FYP and then I will find an even greater and meaning and purpose in life thereafter.

♥ ♥ ♥

uncomfortably familiar. I’ve never felt lousier in my entire life. I feel that as every day passes, I’m losing a bit of myself. What ever happened to me? I’ve never been in this state of mind before. I’ve never felt so unaccomplished and vulnerable.

Okay, not going to waste time talking about it. Just enough.