If I can piggyback a bit, the New York Times certainly has the room to carry me. And Mark Bittman is a big reason why. He's authored many cookbooks, and frankly, more useful food polemics than the more famous Michael Pollan.

His latest deals with breakfast cereal, or in other words, America's morning bowl of candy. We're told it's the most important meal of the day (for some reason), but people are often too busy (they'd say) to prepare something themselves. As such, they pour crisped up something or other from a box, douse it in milk, and consume.

I'll stop there, because there's no reason to write the linked article again. What I will do, however, is draw a parallel with coffee.

There is an ever increasing body of scientific literature that links coffee drinking with lower incidence of just about everything you want to avoid. It probably does some good things too, especially if you're about to go run.  But while the evidence is growing, it's unfortunately irrelevant for most coffee drinkers. That's because, when most people refer to their morning coffee, they are, in fact, talking about a bucket of milk and sugar.

Before I go any further, I should say this: There is nothing wrong with people making that choice. I ate a cookie yesterday, and do not feel as if I've contributed to the metabolic epidemic in this country. Eat what you like; drink what you like.

It is a little troubling, however, to see the number of people for whom a mocha is breakfast. It's not that they can't enjoy such a drink - just that it's better served as a treat, rather than a meal.

Perhaps more troubling is that these are the sorts of coffee drinks most likely to be consumed by the younger crowd. Teenagers do not drink black coffee. They do like milkshakes though, even with trace espresso tossed in. This is a lifetime taste we're encouraging, and perhaps, some damaging consequences are being facilitated.

Of course, none of this is really my concern. Nor, in fact, will it be a revelation to anyone. No one orders a mocha thinking that it's the healthy choice. Perhaps I'd be better served not to undermine my sentiments so soon after expressing them, but in this case, it can't be helped. What to eat and drink is a free choice, as it should be. But sometimes, the better decision has to be noted.

If there have been a lack of words here recently, you can blame Joe Abercrombie, whose skill at putting them together so dwarfs my own that I hardly feel qualified to do it at all. He's popularly considered the best young fantasy writer - maybe the best, period, if only George Martin would die - which is almost an insult, insofar as fantasy writers are barely considered writers at all. They deal in swords and sorcery, rather than the human condition, weave massive epics without touching on anything real. And all that passive voice. 

There is a post somewhere else contesting that false conclusion, but for now, I'll just say that it is wholly false.

Abercrombie does root all of his swooping plot in reality, at least, the reality of emotion. The characters feel how you think they ought - how you think you would - rather than puffed up caricatures. They are flawed people, some more deeply than others. But even that is too judgmental a phrase. More accurately, they are complex characters. It's not a question of black or white, or even shades of gray, but rather the full spectrum of colors.

There are battles, because there are always battles. But there is no obvious objective; the two sides are fighting, mostly, because they are. We get the perspective of a litany of "main" characters, and brief interludes with smaller players. (Usually, they die shortly after introduction.) A common refrain is the myriad of ways in which war is a miserable business for all involved. You can't help but find yourself agreeing, almost feeling guilty for indulging in the violence fetishism that pervades so much popular fiction.

You almost want both sides to walk away, the characters to go home, and nothing much to happen. Almost. It's a disgusting business, war, but it's captivating. And so too is the characters' neurosis, their agony and their apathy.

This is nowhere more obvious that the morning scenes, the proverbial calm before the storm. These are people muttering about going to work, essentially, barely removed from our modern drudgery. It is also these scenes, however, which furthest remove me from the plot. It's not that I don't care, or that the writing is any less crisp, witty and descriptive.

I simply cannot stand the thought of waking up and facing a day's work without coffee. Nevermind the nights spent without a room, without a fire or food. Nevermind the almost certain prospect of horrific injury and pain. War is hell, they say, and Abercrombie does as good a job of illustrating that as anyone I've read. But if that's the case, war without coffee is the deepest circle.

Breakfast. Let's take a second, and deconstruct that word. We have "break", first of all. And then, of course, there is "fast". Combine the two, and we have the concept of breaking one's overnight fast. That is, since you've been sleeping, you've not been eating. And so, after waking up from a hard night of cellular reconstruction, your body might well want some calories.

I say might, because many are not inclined to hunger first thing in the morning. Perhaps it's the uptick in catabolic hormones; or maybe it's just lethargy. In any case, breakfast, for many, is coffee. Sure, the may put some cream and sugar in it, but the bulk of their morning stimulation is caffeine. That's it.

And that, I think, is not good. Now I do not subscribe to the notion that breakfast is "the most important meal of the day", or that it's any kind of panacea. There are plenty of lean, healthy, breakfast skippers out there. But regardless, I think that, for most people, starting the day with some calories is a good way to ensure steady energy and avoid over-snacking or binging later.

But, while there is some controversy concerning whether one really ought to break their fast, or perhaps would be better served waiting until they've built up some hunger, most diets seem to agree that eating in the morning is a good thing. That is not the case when considering what the breakfast ought to be composed of.

A common breakfast, for those who do eat, is some sort of heavily refined starch, usually sweetened. Not much protein to speak of, and very little fat. Say, something like a granola bar, or a sweet cereal. And then there are the extremes. We have the paleo and low carb folks, for whom starch of all kinds is considered poison. A breakfast for them typically consists of eggs, just about any style. Usually, vegetables join the party. Then we have the heath food inclined vegetarians/vegans/flexitarians/etc. These are the whole grain eaters, the consumers of complex carbs and fiber.

There are doctors on ever side of the debate, wielding evidence like a hatchet. I happen to think the paleo folks have something resembling a point, in terms of short term weight loss. Chronically high insulin levels make you fat. Lower carb intake lowers insulin levels. But I do not, in general, think this diet is useful beyond the very short term -- and only then for the obese. While the human brain can run on ketones and glucose metabolized from protein, I believe the function to be, for most, suboptimal. The health food folks have their points as well. Complex carbs do supply a steady supply of glucose to the brain, as well as glycogen to working muscles (important if you're an exerciser).

The solution I choose for myself tends towards the middle. That is, I eat starch. I like it, first of all; and I dare say extreme weight loss is not a goal I need aspire to. I also eat fat and protein, from both animal and vegetable sources. I think most people would benefit from a similar plan. Breakfast is a meal too, and too often overlooked. You wouldn't eat a tiny snack for dinner, so why would you start your day that way?

Try this current favorite if you want something really substantial. You almost certainly have all the ingredients necessary.

1 cup dry oatmeal
1 tbs crunchy peanut butter
1 whole banana
1 cup liquid

Microwave the oatmeal, using the milk in place of water if you want the extra fat and protein. I happen to think water results in a better texture, however. In any case, nuke the oatmeal, and stir in the peanut butter. Then, mash up the banana (it can be messy, but oh well) and stir it it.

And then, of course, drink coffee.

I am, depending on which post you read, alternately humble and arrogant. Perhaps I am some mixture of the two -- which, I think, most people are if we're being honest. That said, I tend to think rather highly of what I think. Furthermore, I tend to think that I possess a pretty substantial body of knowledge, at least when it comes to things I care enough to learn about.

Coffee, of course, is one such thing. I think I know a lot about it -- more, probably, than anyone else I know. I will, of course, admit that there a plenty of others, more deeply embedded in the industry that I, whose collection of knowledge dwarfs mine. But be that as it may, I know my coffee.

At least, I would like to think that I do. Which is it came as something of a surprise to me, frankly, when I saw a coffee I had never seen this morning. I drove to Dunn Bros, after pulling on a pair of jeans and t shirt which seemed, all things considered, to be in wearable condition. There, I purchased a double espresso and a evol burrito. The burrito is a neat little concept, if a bit gimmicky. The idea is that the ingredients are mostly organic, all sustainable, and made with as humane practices as possible. But it also tasted good, which is nice, and isn't the grease bomb that typical breakfast burritos are. That is, one can eat it, take a look at the nutrition information, and feel better, not worse, about their consumption.

But I digress. Somewhere there is a blog about breakfast burritos. But this is not that blog. This is about coffee. To that point, the espresso was terrible. I don't know where the barista put my crema, but it wasn't sitting on top of my shots where it's supposed to be. Past that, the taste was as bitter as non-espresso drinkers claim all espresso shots are. I came very close to putting sugar in it, if that tells you anything, and it really should.

This would have been a pretty forgettable little breakfast, if not for the fact that, upon finishing that "espresso", I saw I sign for a coffee from India. India, of course, is famous for its tea, curry, and musical numbers. All of which I enjoy in their place, but not so much as coffee, which frankly, I did not know India produced. Unfortunately, Dunn Bros didn't have any on tap at the time, so I have no idea how it tastes. But I'll find out soon enough, I think; and when I do, I'll be sure to write an obscene amount about the experience.

James Bond may be the ultimate image of modern masculinity. While his sports car driving, rampant womanizing, world saving ways may have something to do with this, I choose to believe that it begins, like any day should, with breakfast.