BigCityLib Strikes Back

I have contacted Galactus and The Eater Of Worlds is apparently solid GOP.  He will be accessing his pay-pal account and forwarding Mr. Gowdy $5.  The Eater of Worlds is not made out of money.

Dear Newt,

As per your instructions, I have disintegrated Washington, D.C. Unfortunately, I struck a bit wild to the South and disintegrated everything down to Springfield as well. Tee Hee. My bad.

Yours,

Galactus, Eater of Worlds
(also cup-cakes)

Yeah, that's Ezra's dad and my petition-signing buddy Galactus on Steyn's "Free Speech for Canadians" petition. I'll have to talk to G about that; he's always said he hates Freedom.

Says alot about the status of the debate that Steyn's has barely managed to scare-up 1,500 bodies to his cause, including numerous anonys and one giant purple space-fairing being, after launching this petition at least a year ago. Tells you how many votes there are in a "reform" of the Canadian Human Rights Act.

Am I interested in organizing? Yes, in the sense that I would hunt down every pathetic human behind these grotesque spectacles and feed them to Zzzinthian blood worms. I hear that prick Gingrich had something to do with it. Him, I shall disintegrate slowly.

Galactus, over and out.

Dear Pathetic Mortal,

As you may know, I don't do online polls or petitions. However, my buddy Galactus has gone ahead and signed the "Rescind Order of Canada From Morgentaler" petition. In fact, he has signed it on a number of occasions, because while you can only submit one vote per email address, you can pretty much make up any email address you want and submit one vote per each. Unfortunately for Galactus, someone seems to be erasing his signatures as they are made, which makes Galactus angry, because for example these guys were allowed to vote on multiple occasions:
In fact, the petition is, as these things tend to be, a FREEPER's paradise. So why the hassle for my buddy Big G? Galactus is now seriously thinking he might conjure a million Orders Of Canada from the plasmic energy between dimensions and rain them down on Ottawa as a sign of his displeasure. And does anyone really want that?

The latest brainchild of Newt Gingrich is "American Solutions", a:

...unique non-partisan organization designed to rise above traditional gridlocked partisanship, to provide real, significant solutions to the most important issues facing our country.

Basically, they want Congress to allow drilling in Alaska, off California, and so forth.

Anyway, my buddy (who signed their "Drill Here Drill Now" online petition) got another email from them this morning:

Dear Galactus,

As gas prices are at an all-time high, the American people are demanding that Congress take action to drill here and drill now. More than 650,000 Americans have signed the "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less" petition, and that number keeps growing rapidly each day.
[...]

We're excited to announce today that Chuck Norris is supporting our "Drill Here, Drill Now, Pay Less" campaign. Watch him talk about it in this new YouTube video: http://youtube.com/watch?v=JnVVkCsw41c.

Hell, why stop at Alaska? With Galactus and Chuck Norris both onside I bet they could convince Congress to let 'em go to Mt. Rushmore and drill for oil through Abe Lincoln's head. Because Galactus could disintegrate all of Washington with a wave of the hand, and lets face it, you don't fuck with Chuck.

The guy at SoCon Or Bust has some harsh words for me because I won't participate in his online petition (which looks like it might be up here tonight) in support of Free D. I wrote:

Flanders is planning an on-line petition, and though I don't sign such things,my good buddy Galactus, Eater of Worlds, will probably show up and put his name to it. When details become available, I will let everyone know. I'm sure "Heywood J. Blome" will want to show his support for Free Speech, Liberty, and etc.

Flanders read this and lashed out as follows:

How so predictably liberal. Let someone else fight (and pay for) something you enjoy. Isn't that always the case with a socialist? It's always someone else's problem, and if a problem is to be addressed, let the government (i.e. somebody else) take on the problem. Rarely do you see a liberal taking on any sort of individual sacrifice or personal responsibility.

Dude, I would not sign your free Free Dominion on-line petition for the same reason I wouldn't sign an on-line petition for any cause, whether I support it or not, and for the same reason I wouldn't Freep a poll for a cause I support. Because online polls and petitions are cheap gimmicks and the results they give are totally meaningless. Pouring your soul into one these things is, frankly, childish, and a sign that you have too much time on your hands. What did your pro-abortion "victory" on facebook buy you? Doodley Squat! Abortion is still legal and CBC still a bastion of Communism!

So, since I don't want to appear childish online, I usually use one of my sock puppets when I want to participate in one of these games. In this case, Galactus, Eater of Worlds, will be happy to sign your petition the very minute it appears. And if you've got Galactus on your side, you don't need me.







Back Off, Flanders!